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[tranciful]

Remove the 'Aside' and you have the reason. Although i've never seen a pic of the guy.

But seriously half the girls pictures are like pro photographs, i almost wanna call bullshit.

That's me in my avatar (real pic January). While moving out I found a pair of those roll-up sunglasses they give you at the eye Dr when you have your eyes dilated... thought they looked like cheesy 80s/90s sci fi so I snapped a pic. That's not a pic I have on OKC, though; girls like to see your eyes

Not sure what the first girl's story is, but the one in yellow near the bottom majored in Theatre so yeah that's a headshot.

edit: Bonus (I originally posted it in funny image thread):

Some OC:

Feet do nothing for me, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to play along

To be clear, I never had any interest in meeting this girl haha.

 

[RawPower]

Not necessarily. Obviously different girls like different styles of clothing. But you describe yourself as dressing 'rather lazily'. Sounds quite negative. Why don't you dress nicely? Would probably be good for your self esteem/confidence (a huge plus in itself) and girls REALLY are attracted to confidence (also nice).

Same goes for your remark about being chubby. If you think about yourself like that it's also a killer for your self esteem. Have you tried dieting/working out? Not only to look better (in itself a great help), but to feel better (also awesome). I'm by no means very muscular/cut/ripped/huge/whatever. I did however deadlift 375 pounds today which felt really awesome. I oozed confidence and felt good about myself.

GAF has awesome fashion/weight-loss/fitness topics (though the latter can be a bit harsh).

Weight loss shouldn't be a problem, in the long run. Fashion might be. One reason for this is, again, lack of money. The other is looking and feeling like a complete douchebag. For instance, I don't think I could ever bring myself to dress like Ryan Seacrest. I also prefer rather "loose" clothing as opposed to "tight".

This sucks. Heard a lot about lousy therapists and it pisses me off. They're supposed to help, not be pricks. Are you seeing one now? And yes, it probably won't hurt to try support groups. Do you live in a big city?

I'm in New Jersey, which would be about an hours drive or train ride away from NYC. No, I'm not seeing one at the moment.

 

[Snakeyes]

Weight loss shouldn't be a problem, in the long run. Fashion might be. One reason for this is, again, lack of money. The other is looking and feeling like a complete douchebag. For instance, I don't think I could ever bring myself to dress like Ryan Seacrest. I also prefer rather "loose" clothing as opposed to "tight".

What's your definition of loose?

Also, RS looks pretty normal in everyday life;

 

[soultron]

After many years i have concluded it is nearly impossible to not be depressed and down on yourself when no success is had. It becomes a brainwashing cycle in order to fix yourself. All it is is a vicious downward cycle that gets worse the more failure you experience.

In most every piece of media you see on this subject the person that turns their life around always has a bit of luck and some external support system coming in to help and save the day. That shit dont happen in reality. Its lotto now. Have fun!

You have such a shitty attitude. Unless you fix this, nothing will get better for you.

I know people who're homeless, hungry, and jobless and they're happier than you.

 

[BeautifulMemory]

That feet thing is hilarious lol

touche! How did she react? She must have loved it

 

[RawPower]

What's your definition of loose?

Also, RS looks pretty normal in everyday life;

By "loose" I mean they aren't skin tight (or semi skin tight, like in that photo). He was the first person I could think of when I thought of that style. In hindsight, I shouldn't have called it a douchebag style. I just meant that it's not for me, that's all.

 

[Snakeyes]

By "loose" I mean they aren't skin tight (or semi skin tight, like in that photo). He was the first person I could think of when I thought of that style. In hindsight, I shouldn't have called it a douchebag style. I just meant that it's not for me, that's all.

All right, post a pic of the tightest loose fit you'd feel comfortable wearing.

 

[thestopsign]

So I've gone through this thread a bit over the past few days watching/reading some of the advice and videos. Brent Smith really piqued my interest because really I have been inadvertently using his approach for the last month or so. From what I can tell, it really does work, but I'm still trying to work out a few of my quirks that are impeding my progress.

I feel as if I need to give a bit of background information to establish where I am first. I'm a freshman at a relatively small university, around 3500 undergrads overall. I typically see the same girls almost every time I go out. I don't necessarily know all of them by any means, but I recognize them and there is a bit of a pattern to it. During winter break I realized I was coming off as really desperate in a lot of situations even if I was having some success. The type of girls I wanted to approach/have approach me weren't looking my way with any serious intent.

Since coming back for second semester, I have made it my goal to sort of stop trying to care about that, basically giving off an aura of not giving a fuck. THIS DEFINITELY WORKS. Girls have been looking my way a lot more. For me this is in the classroom, at the gym, at the cafeteria (bleh required meal plan), and when I go out. I never really knew what the term "eye fuck" meant, but I've definitely experienced it on a few separate occasions now. One key is when you make eye contact with a girl,do not to flinch or act like the eye contact never happened, just act like it didn't really mean much.

My main problem is that I'm not cashing in on these opportunities, or at least I haven't had a chance to yet. Since this is a daily thing for me, I feel like it's a bit of a work in progress that will prove more fruitful as I go on. Hopefully when I start approaching girls I'm interested in I'll be less desperate and more confident that whatever happens is going to happen, and I'm okay with any outcome. I'm not there yet, but maybe one day.

 

[Future PhaZe]

im really fucking up right now and i dont know what to do...pxg you around bro? PM...

 

[luckyboyceo]

Welp, the girl that I went out with a couple times told me today that she couldn't date me. I can't say I didn't expect it. She had told me right from the beginning that she was confused about how she felt and that she might be rebounding, which is what it turned out to be. In a way I'm almost relieved, I had been waiting for her to tell me this for a week.

I know I had been sort of positive in this thread about where it was going, but the overall vibe I was getting from her was not one of actual romantic interest. I'm evaluating how I'm feeling right now and I'd say it's actually pretty good. I didn't fuck anything up, I know it's not my fault it didn't work, the interest or spark or whatever simply wasn't there. And as a bonus, I think we'll come out of as this as closer friends than we were before.

I still appreciate what advice I got from you guys and I may be back in here pretty soon talking about another girl.

Sounds like you have a pretty good attitude about it. Just need to take what you learned and move on. I recall you saying you live in Seattle, so if you're ever looking for a babe-hunting partner just hit me up.

Good luck!

By "loose" I mean they aren't skin tight (or semi skin tight, like in that photo). He was the first person I could think of when I thought of that style. In hindsight, I shouldn't have called it a douchebag style. I just meant that it's not for me, that's all.

I think you just mean clothes that fit well.

 

[RawPower]

I think you just mean clothes that fit well.

Yeah, basically. Although I tend to go with the baggy style more, with hooded sweatshirts.

 

[Miguel]

Girl just texted me lol. I'm not responding immediately, and likely won't period, but it's been all of 5 days, what on earth could she possibly want?

I'm generally not one to bump my own posts, but I'm just a little irritated I suppose. Decided to let it go and not reply, all that would happen is that I would rip into her and I don't want her to have the satisfaction of setting me off. She's also proven to be fairly attention needy. (I know, this coming from the guy that just bumped his 4 hour old post) In any case, I'm not exactly looking for advice, just more other's experiences with a girl getting rid of you, only to come back 5 days later. Just wanted to get through the week without having to deal with her, and she ends up texting me.

 

[Minamu]

Holy shit what happened man LOL... Sorry just seems hilarious, gotta laugh it off and re-emerge bro.

Anyway I had an epiphany and discovered something HUGE when it comes to confidence lol.

I'll share with gaf soon, this is just incredible.. You guys wont believe how fucking easy it is to convey it without faking it.

I know, right? :lol We made the mistakes of just standing around the bar and then we just sat down by ourselves on a sofa. He almost got into physical pain by the end apparently because of nervousness and fear of failure basically. Reading up on openers and lines just five minutes before going out seems like a bad idea.

 

[Slayer-33]

No shit. I didn't start any of these conversations.

Spoiler

Moving to a new city helps

I've got a third date planned for tomorrow with the glasses girl - things are going well. I don't have the time or motivation to juggle multiple girls, but the temptation has never been stronger. I need a magical (impossibru) solution to keep these doors open so that down the road, if we both happen to be single, I can reignite some of these conversations, but I can't think of a way to do it without the fact that I'm interested in them as a backup plan being obvious and kind of insulting.

You pimp mothefuck, keep that shit up bro.

 

[Uncompromisable]

It's not typical for me (which is why I posted it). I just moved to a new city a month ago so I've dived into a fresh dating pool. I don't doubt that looks help me, but it's probably not the only thing going for me either.

Context:

A few simple questions: what do you write in your profile as your occupation, studies, hobbies? Can we see the pics you put on your profile?

 

[soultron]

A few simple questions: what do you write in your profile as your occupation, studies, hobbies? Can we see the pics you put on your profile?

Instead of asking for his pics, why not focus on the fundamental features of his pictures?

Is he having fun? Is he smiling or not? (Either can work well.) Is he surrounded by a few friends? And so forth.

I fear that too many people will ask for pictures with the purpose of comparing their looks to that of the subject. And that's just another mental obstacle you don't need.

 

[luckyboyceo]

I'm generally not one to bump my own posts, but I'm just a little irritated I suppose. Decided to let it go and not reply, all that would happen is that I would rip into her and I don't want her to have the satisfaction of setting me off. She's also proven to be fairly attention needy. (I know, this coming from the guy that just bumped his 4 hour old post) In any case, I'm not exactly looking for advice, just more other's experiences with a girl getting rid of you, only to come back 5 days later. Just wanted to get through the week without having to deal with her, and she ends up texting me.

Every situation is different, but if I had to guess chances are she needs some attention right now and she thinks she can get it from you. Good move on your part not texting her back, takes a lot of self-control.

I had a girl that would do this a lot. Ignore my texts for a week only to text me out of the blue late on a Friday night. Usually it was after something went wrong in her social life, either a friend was mistreating her or she got rejected at a party or something. Unfortunately for me, I reciprocated and would text her back, which just encouraged the behavior so please, don't do what I did, it was a headache.

You can still go through the week without dealing with her, don't text her back. BOOM!

 

[theignoramus]

Okay, in terms of sex, is it a faux pa to not climax inside the girl? I climaxed on a girls back, didnt ask her permission (I cant finish inside women, Im 99% sure I have porn induced problems related to climaxing, I admit, I've watched waaay too much porn, I actually got more stimulation just from kissing then the actual intercourse, which seemed almost like work at times), she seemed mildly annoyed. was all good when we parted ways for the night, but I mean....I could see how it can be considered rude. Also, i forgot to put the condoms in the garbage when I left. There was nothing in them, and I apologized for it, but fuck, I dont want to seem like an inconsiderate asshole.

 

[luckyboyceo]

Okay, in terms of sex, is it a faux pa to not climax inside the girl? I climaxed on a girls back, didnt ask her permission (I cant finish inside women, Im 99% sure I have porn induced problems related to climaxing, I admit, I've watched waaay too much porn, I actually got more stimulation just from kissing then the actual intercourse, which seemed almost like work at times), she seemed mildly annoyed. was all good when we parted ways for the night, but I mean....I could see how it can be considered rude. Also, i forgot to put the condoms in the garbage when I left. There was nothing in them, and I apologized for it, but fuck, I dont want to seem like an inconsiderate asshole.

There's actually a really good article in this month's GQ that covers your exact question. It's written by a woman. Next time you're at a newstand check it out.

With that said obviously it varies, but yes in my experience, generally its a faux pa to climax elsewhere without discussing it first.

 

[soultron]

Okay, in terms of sex, is it a faux pa to not climax inside the girl? I climaxed on a girls back, didnt ask her permission (I cant finish inside women, Im 99% sure I have porn induced problems related to climaxing, I admit, I've watched waaay too much porn, I actually got more stimulation just from kissing then the actual intercourse, which seemed almost like work at times), she seemed mildly annoyed. was all good when we parted ways for the night, but I mean....I could see how it can be considered rude. Also, i forgot to put the condoms in the garbage when I left. There was nothing in them, and I apologized for it, but fuck, I dont want to seem like an inconsiderate asshole.

Good sex comes from communication. Did you ask her, afterwards while you were in bed, whether or not she enjoyed what you did? Tell a girl what you're going to do, just before doing it, so she has a chance to object. Ask her if she'd like you to do ____ to her if you want to be extra considerate. If she doesn't say anything, or doesn't seem enthusiastic/excited in her response, you might want to try something else.

If all else fails, just ask her in the heat of the moment, "Where do you want me to bust/etc.?"

 

[Mr Swine]

Work on that first. If you're not happy with yourself what makes you think anyone will like you? Everybody moves at their own pace so don't be ashamed that all your friends are getting married. If they're your friends then they won't care if you're single or not. If they do, fuck them. Go back to school and socialize and make friends there. You'll have better success with woman after you become content with yourself.

What's causing that low self esteem? Why aren't you telling yourself that you're going back to school to get your shit together and be awesome?

I was bullied a lot when I went to school and in high school there where only girls and no guys in my class, which meant that I was spending a lot of time alone since there was nobody to talk to. Everyone sat in pairs and i was the one sitting alone. It didn't get any better that my father called me stupid when I didn't understand how things worked or when I helped him.

I was fat 3 years ago ( over 110 kg ) and now I'm at 86 kg. Training at the local gym for 3 months now but it's going so slow for me and it's not helping that I'm eating sweets and unhealthy food

I just wish that some cute women could walk up to me and say that I look good or that they want to know me better... Ugh why does life have to be so hard

 

[tanuki]

So I've got one of these great Friday night dilemmas. I've been pursuing a friend of a friend on Facebook, and we've been out once and had a good time. Since then we've been chatting on facebook and via sms. Last night, I asked her if she wanted to go out again tonight and she said she'd let me know in the evening if she was free.

Now, this other girl that I met a week ago and was mildly interested in has randomly asked me out for a drink tonight. Under any other circumstance, I probably would probably go for the drink with this girl. But, given the situation, I'd rather see Ms Friend of a Friend. But she hasn't sent me a message about tonight yet. I have sent her a text, but she hasn't replied, and I'm presuming she's busy working, and she will eventually get back to me (this seems to be her pattern of text messaging).

So what do I do? I don't want to cancel on Other Girl in case Ms FoaF turns out not to be free. But but but... this has to be the lamest problem I've ever had to deal with in my life.

 

[masud]

So I've got one of these great Friday night dilemmas. I've been pursuing a friend of a friend on Facebook, and we've been out once and had a good time. Since then we've been chatting on facebook and via sms. Last night, I asked her if she wanted to go out again tonight and she said she'd let me know in the evening if she was free.

Now, this other girl that I met a week ago and was mildly interested in has randomly asked me out for a drink tonight. Under any other circumstance, I probably would probably go for the drink with this girl. But, given the situation, I'd rather see Ms Friend of a Friend. But she hasn't sent me a message about tonight yet. I have sent her a text, but she hasn't replied, and I'm presuming she's busy working, and she will eventually get back to me (this seems to be her pattern of text messaging).

So what do I do? I don't want to cancel on Other Girl in case Ms FoaF turns out not to be free. But but but... this has to be the lamest problem I've ever had to deal with in my life.

Go out with the other girl. If the first girl doesnt get in contact with you in a resonable amount of time then its totally understandable that you found something else to do.

 

[RawPower]

I was bullied a lot when I went to school and in high school there where only girls and no guys in my class, which meant that I was spending a lot of time alone since there was nobody to talk to. Everyone sat in pairs and i was the one sitting alone. It didn't get any better that my father called me stupid when I didn't understand how things worked or when I helped him.

I was fat 3 years ago ( over 110 kg ) and now I'm at 86 kg. Training at the local gym for 3 months now but it's going so slow for me and it's not helping that I'm eating sweets and unhealthy food

I just wish that some cute women could walk up to me and say that I look good or that they want to know me better... Ugh why does life have to be so hard

You sound so much like me, it's not even funny. Well, except there were more guys than girls in my classes. I hated everybody, and I had enough venom inside to poison an entire country (metaphorically speaking). I guess some of it is still there, because to this day I still refuse to talk to a majority of the people I went to high school with. I don't know if I'll ever forgive them for some of the things they did.

 

[threenote]

Girl just texted me lol. I'm not responding immediately, and likely won't period, but it's been all of 5 days, what on earth could she possibly want?

This is the girl that broke up with you, right? Ignore her, my dude.

 

[Miguel]

Every situation is different, but if I had to guess chances are she needs some attention right now and she thinks she can get it from you. Good move on your part not texting her back, takes a lot of self-control.

I had a girl that would do this a lot. Ignore my texts for a week only to text me out of the blue late on a Friday night. Usually it was after something went wrong in her social life, either a friend was mistreating her or she got rejected at a party or something. Unfortunately for me, I reciprocated and would text her back, which just encouraged the behavior so please, don't do what I did, it was a headache.

You can still go through the week without dealing with her, don't text her back. BOOM!

This is the girl that broke up with you, right? Ignore her, my dude.

Yep, the one that just broke up with me. I had little to no intention of even replying initially which is uncommon ...and after thinking about it I just didn't want to ultimately give her the attention she wants. Got a good night's rest rather than worrying about it and staying up all night.

 

[Houston3000]

No shit. I didn't start any of these conversations.

Moving to a new city helps

I've got a third date planned for tomorrow with the glasses girl - things are going well. I don't have the time or motivation to juggle multiple girls, but the temptation has never been stronger. I need a magical (impossibru) solution to keep these doors open so that down the road, if we both happen to be single, I can reignite some of these conversations, but I can't think of a way to do it without the fact that I'm interested in them as a backup plan being obvious and kind of insulting.

Haha, nice, I was in a similar situation when I joined OKCupid. It's an amazing goldmine of women but I think it definitely depends on your location. I'm curious what city you moved to, New York City is absolutely ridiculous with the amount of single girls around here and on sites like OKC, and so many of them are gorgeous (a LOT of aspiring actresses and stage artists - can't tell you how many girl profile pictures are acting head-shots). Not to mention the shear volume of people moving into the city on a constant basis.

I haven't been in this thread too much recently but, speaking of OKC, I decided to reactivate my profile... back near the end of the summer I deactivated it because I got pretty serious with this girl, when we broke it off I took a break for a couple months. Anyways, I got super lucky, and the second girl I went out with since I reactivated was totally awesome; just went on our third date last night and I already know I'm seeing her again for sure. I don't like to juggle girls though either, I canceled a date I had for earlier this week with a different girl and I had one more date planned tonight but I'll probably end up cancelling that as well. It gets too expensive - plus when I first started I was filling up weekends with 3 or 4 dates - just trying to keep count of who to call back was difficult enough.

 

[Sage00]

edit: x

 

[theignoramus]

There's actually a really good article in this month's GQ that covers your exact question. It's written by a woman. Next time you're at a newstand check it out.

With that said obviously it varies, but yes in my experience, generally its a faux pa to climax elsewhere without discussing it first.

Will do. I had to explain myself, cause uh, I went soft at one point and well, she couldnt get me off. Fucking porn, man.
Dudes: wean yourself off porn if you watch it habitually. Dead serious.

 

[Xun]

Another friday, and another night not going out.

Bummer.

 

[Spacebar]

Another friday, and another night not going out.

Bummer.

Why not?

 

[Minamu]

Another friday, and another night not going out.

Bummer.

Then go out. Alone if you must.

 

[Uncompromisable]

Good sex comes from communication. Did you ask her, afterwards while you were in bed, whether or not she enjoyed what you did? Tell a girl what you're going to do, just before doing it, so she has a chance to object. Ask her if she'd like you to do ____ to her if you want to be extra considerate. If she doesn't say anything, or doesn't seem enthusiastic/excited in her response, you might want to try something else.

If all else fails, just ask her in the heat of the moment, "Where do you want me to bust/etc.?"

What makes you think that's not precisely what I wanted to observe? I wanted to see how genuine he looked and what his vibes are from the pics.

 

[FallingEdge]

Okay, in terms of sex, is it a faux pa to not climax inside the girl? I climaxed on a girls back, didnt ask her permission (I cant finish inside women, Im 99% sure I have porn induced problems related to climaxing, I admit, I've watched waaay too much porn, I actually got more stimulation just from kissing then the actual intercourse, which seemed almost like work at times), she seemed mildly annoyed. was all good when we parted ways for the night, but I mean....I could see how it can be considered rude. Also, i forgot to put the condoms in the garbage when I left. There was nothing in them, and I apologized for it, but fuck, I dont want to seem like an inconsiderate asshole.

As mentioned, good sex comes from communication. I'm sure you two will share a laugh about this but yeah, asking where you can nut wouldn't have been a bad idea haha.

 

[Seanbob11]

Another friday, and another night not going out.

Bummer.

All the studenty people in the UK are too hungover to go out tonight anyway! Unless they're hardcore, of which I am not

 

[Combine]

Then go out. Alone if you must.

I'll ask for him, since I'm always in the same situation. What is there to do by yourself going out alone? For my part, when I've gone to bars by myself nothing happens. Is there another place to go on a Friday night to meet people other than bars?

 

[sazabirules]

I'll ask for him, since I'm always in the same situation. What is there to do by yourself going out alone? For my part, when I've gone to bars by myself nothing happens. Is there another place to go on a Friday night to meet people other than bars?

When you go out alone, you can go outside your comfort zone and meet new people.

 

[Minamu]

I'll ask for him, since I'm always in the same situation. What is there to do by yourself going out alone? For my part, when I've gone to bars by myself nothing happens. Is there another place to go on a Friday night to meet people other than bars?

When you go out alone, you can go outside your comfort zone and meet new people.

This. If you go at it alone, you have no one but yourself to rely on. You can either choose to stand at the bar, like I did last night, and be bored beyond belief, or you can try to entertain yourself by talking to random people. It doesn't have to be girls either. The point is, you can do the same things you do in a group even if you're alone. It's just too out of the ordinary and scary which stops you from doing it (you as a general term).

 

[RawPower]

I have another question. Is being a success, financially speaking, an important factor (or even a factor at all) in attracting women? I've heard it bandied about that this somewhat plays into the confidence factor (usually through anecdotes, and some from personal experience), and this kind of worries me a little. Honestly, I don't know if I'd want anything to do with someone who would drop me in an instant just because I'm going through a rough spot at the time, or because I'm not the absolute breadwinner.

I hope that didn't sound sexist. I do not want to offend anyone, or get banned.

 

[Omegasquash]

I have another question. Is being a success, financially speaking, an important factor (or even a factor at all) in attracting women? I've heard it bandied about that this somewhat plays into the confidence factor (usually through anecdotes, and some from personal experience), and this kind of worries me a little. Honestly, I don't know if I'd want anything to do with someone who would drop me in an instant just because I'm going through a rough spot at the time, or because I'm not the absolute breadwinner.

I hope that didn't sound sexist. I do not want to offend anyone, or get banned.

It's not so much a shallow thing, but yes. Some people are attracted to wealth, some people are attracted to go-getters, who can usually accrue some wealth. Some people don't care one way or another. Depends on the person.

And I say people because it ain't just women.

 

[RawPower]

It's not so much a shallow thing, but yes. Some people are attracted to wealth, some people are attracted to go-getters, who can usually accrue some wealth. Some people don't care one way or another. Depends on the person.

And I say people because it ain't just women.

That eases my fears a bit. I really don't want anything to do with the bolded. Not only will they hate me (I'm not trying to get rich, just to have a decent, happy, and carefree life), but I would likely detest them even more. Nobody wins there.

 

[Xun]

Why not?

Just no one seems up for doing anything, like always.

Tomorrow I might be going out, but I'm not entirely sure.

Then go out. Alone if you must.

The only places around my area are pubs, and the few bars and clubs around are full of chavs/idiots.

I remember going to a student party a couple of years back (oh how I miss those days), and my friend had to leave early. Instead of just leaving at the same time I decided to stay, and managed to get chatting to some new people (including some girls). They weren't my type of people, but it was still good experience.

I just wish I was invited to more parties, because even being out of my comfort zone in such a place seemed to do wonders for me.

Compared to the majority of my friends I'm always up for doing something, but I just never seem to go out apart from maybe once or twice a week (to the same place).

 

[Furio53]

Met a girl here in LA, shes from S. Africa, gorgeous. First girl in a long time that I was super nervous about calling, but I sacked up, called her and we talked for a while. Date lined up for next week. And todays my birthday, go me!

 

[Spacebar]

Just no one seems up for doing anything, like always.

Tomorrow I might be going out, but I'm not entirely sure.

The only places around my area are pubs, and the few bars and clubs around are full of chavs/idiots.

I remember going to a student party a couple of years back (oh how I miss those days), and my friend had to leave early. Instead of just leaving at the same time I decided to stay, and managed to get chatting to some new people (including some girls). They weren't my type of people, but it was still good experience.

I just wish I was invited to more parties, because even being out of my comfort zone in such a place seemed to do wonders for me.

Compared to the majority of my friends I'm always up for doing something, but I just never seem to go out apart from maybe once or twice a week (to the same place).

You gotta change this mentality. Sure there are always a certain crowd that hangs out at certain bars, but there is almost always a few diamonds in the rough.

If anything swing by a bar/pub to get one drink and make an effort to talk to a couple people. Even if it's just to work on your social skills or testing your comfort zone. Mind set it key here. You never know a beautiful girl might be waiting for you.

Met a girl here in LA, shes from S. Africa, gorgeous. First girl in a long time that I was super nervous about calling, but I sacked up, called her and we talked for a while. Date lined up for next week. And todays my birthday, go me!

Nice job son!

 

[tranciful]

Just no one seems up for doing anything, like always.

http://www.meetup.com/ go here, type in your zip, find something to do.

 

[Omegasquash]

That eases my fears a bit. I really don't want anything to do with the bolded. Not only will they hate me (I'm not trying to get rich, just to have a decent, happy, and carefree life), but I would likely detest them even more. Nobody wins there.

Good. Just remember that being successful is something that you determine for yourself. Anyone you choose to be with ought to respect that.

 

[RawPower]

Good. Just remember that being successful is something that you determine for yourself. Anyone you choose to be with ought to respect that.

Dignity, love, and respect is all I require. That is the honest truth.

 

[Houston3000]

I have another question. Is being a success, financially speaking, an important factor (or even a factor at all) in attracting women? I've heard it bandied about that this somewhat plays into the confidence factor (usually through anecdotes, and some from personal experience), and this kind of worries me a little. Honestly, I don't know if I'd want anything to do with someone who would drop me in an instant just because I'm going through a rough spot at the time, or because I'm not the absolute breadwinner.

I hope that didn't sound sexist. I do not want to offend anyone, or get banned.

I think it depends on what you mean by a "success", if by not being a "success" you mean you have no job and are barely scraping by then yes, it is usually a relatively important factor to women. If you simply mean being rich then, well, most girls would love if you're rich but it doesn't have to be the case. There will always be women who don't care that you're poor and have no job, in most cases those women either don't have a job themselves or are just easy (usually because they're ugly or, at least, not confident individuals), either that or they find you very physically attractive.

When I first moved here and was dating a lot I didn't have a job for a good five months as I was still looking for one in the city. The trick was how I spun it though, I made it clear I had JUST moved here and had done so on a whim (which most find a bold move), I also really hyped up myself as a freelance artist; which I was, but business was pretty much dry (was lucky if I pulled in $300 a month). It ended up working out ok for me, I dated one girl for three months during that time where she paid for 70% of the activities we partook in, let us split dinner costs and everything. It made me feel kind of shitty letting her pay for so much stuff to be honest but I didn't really have a choice. I found out eventually though she had deep seeded self confidence issues (ugly duckling syndrome) so I mostly attribute her continued interest in me to that now.

 

[RawPower]

I think it depends on what you mean by a "success", if by not being a "success" you mean you have no job and are barely scraping by then yes, it is usually a relatively important factor to women. If you simply mean being rich then, well, most girls would love if you're rich but it doesn't have to be the case. There will always be women who don't care that you're poor and have no job, in most cases those women either don't have a job themselves or are just easy (usually because they're ugly or, at least, not confident individuals), either that or they find you very physically attractive.

When I first moved here and was dating a lot I didn't have a job for a good five months as I was still looking for one in the city. The trick was how I spun it though, I made it clear I had JUST moved here and had done so on a whim (which most find a bold move), I also really hyped up myself as a freelance artist; which I was, but business was pretty much dry (was lucky if I pulled in $300 a month). It ended up working out ok for me, I dated one girl for three months during that time where she paid for 70% of the activities we partook in, let us split dinner costs and everything. It made me feel kind of shitty letting her pay for so much stuff to be honest but I didn't really have a choice. I found out eventually though she had deep seeded self confidence issues (ugly duckling syndrome) so I mostly attribute her continued interest in me to that now.

Yeah, that scares me. My biggest fear going into this is being used, and loved purely (or even mostly) for material purposes. I don't think I deserve that.

 

[tranciful]

A few simple questions: what do you write in your profile as your occupation, studies, hobbies? Can we see the pics you put on your profile?

I think my profile helps the most. I'm very optimistic and most of my profile is about what I do (independent video game/software development) and what I'd like to do in the future -- I'm very passionate about it, and I think they are attracted to the positive energy even if they don't care for what I make.

To reiterate:

I'm no pick up artist, but I have the most success (and fun) when I'm being playful. I'm naturally a goofball though. My profile is playful and positive (some probably think it's cheesy). I think it depends on you and the kind of girls you want to attract -- what I do wouldn't work for all guys and it'd probably turn off some girls. Luckily it's working well for me and I'm meeting some interesting girls.

Be honest in your profile -- it won't do you much good if your profile doesn't represent yourself accurately. If you don't like something about yourself, work on it (almost always requires breaking out of your comfort zone). I'm big on self improvement. Throughout high school and most of college, I had no confidence and I was getting friendzoned just like many in here. What's helped me the most is forcing myself to be more social in general -- be able to hold a conversation with all kinds of people and in all kinds of environments/situations. Girls, guys, old people, weird people, whatever. I'm still working on this. I think I also had an epiphany when I realized how much I was over thinking small things. People/women are far more forgiving than you might think. I still have awkward moments, but I've learned to laugh about them rather than worry about them (and now girls think it's cute instead of weird). But yeah, more than anything just push yourself.