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[Men_in_Boxes]

I lay on my belly when I take a sh**. Much more comfortable that way. You just have to spray your butt cheeks with Windex afterwards and squeegee off the residue. I recommend this method to everyone.

 

[Lambogenie]

What the hell is a bum gun? ToTo?

The hand showers for your ass and vag. Gentle push is gentle spray. Full press is... bye bye...

Toto is Japanese toilet brand. Like saying Nintendo for all gaming.

 

[RickSanchez]

 

[22:22:22]

Keep giving up your ass to the paper treadmill if you want - or spend $20 and have your anus and backside of your balls splashed with freezing cold water like a real man.

Talk to me after two years of daily cold showers every day. Like a real man.

 

[Dirk Benedict]

MFers don't even have the Third Option: Wipe Whilst Levitating.

 

[haxan7]

Serious question about bidet use:

Doesn't the water stream move shit around to places it otherwise wouldn't? Like when you wipe with TP, you're in control of where it goes. Wouldn't a strong jet of water squirt the shit all over you out of control?

 

[Sardaukarama]

wet wipes + my fat arse cheeks sitting down = perfect post shite combo…although a bidet ass blast I wouldn’t say no

 

[Kenneth Haight]

I don't think any water pressure alone can perfectly clean a filthy ass.

Btw, i live in italy, we have bidets in our homes by default.

But after i take a shit, it is just way faster and cleaner to just use a wet soapy sponge.

Soap, water and friction are better than just water.

I’m intrigued what happens to the sponge after?

 

[Putonahappyface]

These topics are getting worse.

 

[GymWolf]

I’m intrigued what happens to the sponge after?

I clean it with more soap and hot water until it return "clean" again (and change it every week or 2, sponges are cheap)

Of course i don't use that sponge for other stuff.

 

[TheInfamousKira]

I have a suspension and harness above the business pot.

 

[German Hops]

MFers don't even have the Third Option: Wipe Whilst Levitating.

 

[Dirk Benedict]

How about that?

 

[IntentionalPun]

Standing up? Lift your leg?

wtf

 

[Bartski]

Serious question about bidet use:

Doesn't the water stream move shit around to places it otherwise wouldn't? Like when you wipe with TP, you're in control of where it goes. Wouldn't a strong jet of water squirt the shit all over you out of control?

it doesn't if you follow the correct procedure.

1. Wipe ass with paper
2. Blast with jet
3. Wipe with paper 2nd time

 

[Bartski]

I wonder if this aversion to proper seated wiping is proportional to water levels in different countries toilets.

On that note, I was in the States last year first time in my life and I can totally see why it's normal for Americans to shit half-standing, let alone wipe. Toilets in Europe are more circular and deep, designed for seated operation every step of the way. The ones in NY were all kinda egg shaped, hollow and fill with way too much water after flushing. The one in my hotel room had its water level so high I couldn't take a shit without dipping my cock in it (not a large cock stealth brag, I'm just saying) which also got me wiping while standing during my stay! Necessary technique as it frees up the hand I otherwise had to hold my cock with, without running the risk of getting it wet with water my shit was swimming in.

Other than that I really liked it there.

 

[Danknugz]

growing up I always saw my Dad wiping sittin g down but i found it kind of gross because you can't really wipe well enough to fully clean that anus. i don't use wet wipes but i'll get some water on the toilet paper from a water bottle or whatever to make sure.

i also am a big "wipe check" guy and even sometimes when i take a piss i'll briefly wipe my ass, or whenever it feels kind of sweaty. it's nasty sometimes you realize you still had some even though you wiped perfectly an hour earlier.

 

[Grildon Tundy]

In the case of no bidet, you want to make sure you're getting as much off with tissue paper as possible.

That being the case, most doctors agree that one should go at least knuckle deep when wiping--to the wrist/elbow is preferred, if possible.

Thus, sitting is best, as standing will kink the anus and put undue strain on one's ligaments.

 

[apocaliptic]

You guys only wipe?

 

[IDKFA]

This is just one reason why bum guns are superior. Pressure is too low on ToTo.The other is finesse. You can control that shot right to where you know that shit lingers worst.

Japan is on right track but UAE, Malaysia know better.

My ass cheeks are hairless, but my ass hole is exceptionally hairy meaning a massive and messy shit is absolute carnage. I need at least 10 sheets of toilet paper just for damage assessment.

I don't care how powerful this bum gun is. It would never be powerful enough to clean my ass hole.

 

[FalsettoVibe]

If you don't use a bidet, wet wipes or shower after every crap, you a stank booty mofo.

Spoiler

runs...lol

 

[haxan7]

My ass cheeks are hairless, but my ass hole is exceptionally hairy meaning a massive and messy shit is absolute carnage. I need at least 10 sheets of toilet paper just for damage assessment.

I don't care how powerful this bum gun is. It would never be powerful enough to clean my ass hole.

Just put some clippers in there and clear out that forest

 

[T-0800]

 

[Arsic]

I made this thread to really educate myself if I I’m a savage or not.

My whole family is cave men and women is what I’ve learned.

 

[Johnny2Bad]

I just bend over and let the dog lick it out.

 

[Lambogenie]

My ass cheeks are hairless, but my ass hole is exceptionally hairy meaning a massive and messy shit is absolute carnage. I need at least 10 sheets of toilet paper just for damage assessment.

I don't care how powerful this bum gun is. It would never be powerful enough to clean my ass hole.

You wipe first before spraying. And cut ya damn hairy ass of course, that's an immediate way to reduce the issue. I speak from experience.

 

[badblue]

I don't care how powerful this bum gun is. It would never be powerful enough to clean my ass hole.

We made need to take you outside.

 

[ahtlas7]

I use a bidet like a civilized human.

 

[INC]

Why would you stand, you've literally just squeezed the exit together, leaving shit in the creases.
Seated leaves the a hole spread and open, and easier to clean

It's simple mechanics, if you stand and wipe, you're more unhygienic and suffer from frequent skids

 

[NeoIkaruGAF]

You can wipe sitting?

I barely wipe anyway. A full-blown bidet (not the prosthetic thingie add-on you graft on your toilet bowl) can clean away 99% of the leftover mess, and then you’re a short, clean swipe from a shining bunghole.

I gotta say, wiping / bidet threads on GAF are always legendary.

 

[IDKFA]

Just put some clippers in there and clear out that forest

You wipe first before spraying. And cut ya damn hairy ass of course, that's an immediate way to reduce the issue. I speak from experience.

Normally I shit in the morning. After using half the roll of paper to wipe what I can, I'll then jump in the shower to finish the job.

I do occasionally shave my ass hole, but it's such an effort, especially using a razor and a mirror. Using a clipper sounds dangerous as well as a little gross.

 

[NeoIkaruGAF]

This 4chan meme is still relevant and amazing after all these years.

 

[Jenov]

Standing up to wipe is like toddler skill level. Pros stay seated. Oh and also have a built in bidet for maximum cleanliness!!

 

[killatopak]

Bidet you fools.

 

[22:22:22]

I think some you have a wrong anus. If you can't properly wipe your ass while sitting down there's something wrong with something of you. This thread man... holy shit.

No pun intended

 

[Rockondevil]

I tried this thread years ago and the results were not in favour of standing.

I'm glad to see people are changing.

Do you Wipe Standing or Sitting? The age old debate...

Hello GAF. I have been a member since 2013 and lurker much longer, and as this is my first thread I thought it only fitting it should be full of shit talking. I'd like to open by letting you all know I am a proud stander. This debate has been going on forever amongst humans, however it's been a...

www.neogaf.com

 

[22:22:22]

I only take a shit in the hotel so i can properly clean my ass with a trusted soupy sponge.

Pooping while standing
Using a sponge to clean your ass in a hotel? Do you bring you own?

Jfc just wipe your ass until there's no more poop on it

As if there's a dedicated poop patrol doing random clean asshole checks out and about

"HEY YOU! YEAH WITH THAT FUCKED UP HAIRCUT! COME OVER HERE, DROP YOUR PANTS AND SPREAD YOUR CHEEKS. NOW! ..... UHUH UHUH. SIR YOU'RE COMING WITH US"

"ANAL BETA NUGGET; WE GOT ONE"

 

[GymWolf]

Pooping while standing
Using a sponge to clean your ass in a hotel? Do you bring you own?

Jfc just wipe your ass until there's no more poop on it

As if there's a dedicated poop patrol doing random clean asshole checks out and about

"HEY YOU! YEAH WITH THAT FUCKED UP HAIRCUT! COME OVER HERE, DROP YOUR PANTS AND SPREAD YOUR CHEEKS. NOW! ..... UHUH UHUH. SIR YOU'RE COMING WITH US"

"ANAL BETA NUGGET; WE GOT ONE"

Never said that i poop while standing

 

[22:22:22]

That wasn't directed at you. But saying that makes me think you do.

 

[22:22:22]

I'm glad to see people are changing.

So they say... So. They. Say.

 

[thief183]

As an Italian I despise taking sht around the world

1- pre wipe to avoid excessive splatter on the chick's before standing

2- stand and wipe as best as possible

3- bidet with a sponge (if possible)

4- last wipe to check .

That's how you do it.

 

[bitbydeath]

Are people standing because they’re too fat to reach around?

 

[Shadowplay1979]

How fucking strong is the water pressure on these jap toilettes to perfectly clean your asshole after a nasty shit?

Like i get it the shit is watery and easier to clean, but what about hard, sticky shits? I don't believe for a second that a gentle jet stream is enough.

oh son its heaven... and its warm. low pressure is a mild clean, itll do the job but its similar to a euro manual. Mid pressure and you wont need paper even to dry it. Full pressure is an enema...im not joking...but you will never feel cleaner then you do when you go full. Full or nothing.

 

[22:22:22]

As an Italian I despise taking sht around the world

1- pre wipe to avoid excessive splatter on the chick's before standing

2- stand and wipe as best as possible

3- bidet with a sponge (if possible)

4- last wipe to check .

That's how I do it.

Are people standing because they’re too fat to reach around?

Yeah..Obese folks with sludgy poop and short arms.

 

[Trunx81]

Furthermore, consider your nutrition. Some psyllium husks occasionally can be a miracle for your defecation.

 

[GymWolf]

oh son its heaven... and its warm. low pressure is a mild clean, itll do the job but its similar to a euro manual. Mid pressure and you wont need paper even to dry it. Full pressure is an enema...im not joking...but you will never feel cleaner then you do when you go full. Full or nothing.

Not gonna lie i would be curious to try but i remain skeptic.

 

[Shadowplay1979]

Not gonna lie i would be curious to try but i remain skeptic.

Once you feel the flow youll know all there is to know. I have no idea how the fuck people are still using paper in the US......how did i go 40 years doing that....how are Japanese seats not used everywhere in the world. They take minutes to attach and set up. Toilet paper companies must be pulling a LA metro system on the whole country.

 

[German Hops]

Once you feel the flow youll know all there is to know. I have no idea how the fuck people are still using paper in the US......how did i go 40 years doing that....how are Japanese seats not used everywhere in the world. They take minutes to attach and set up. Toilet paper companies must be pulling a LA metro system on the whole country.

We've all been lied to.

 

[8bitpill]

It's not a straight stand up, kind of like a arch while hovering.

Also, get a Bidet. It's hands down the best way to handle cleaning your ass after each turd you expel from your stink wrinkles.

 

[Grildon Tundy]

I see the NeoGAF bidet Deep State psy-op is still alive and well.

They are trying to sow division between TP and bidet users to distract us from the ruling class's continuing siphoning of wealth.

THEY WILL NOT DIVIDE US.