Support NeoGAF

[SURGEdude]

about as natural as an asteroid hurtling out of deep space and colliding with earth.

Nah man. God prefers flooding as his method of whiting out his mistakes. This seal planned ahead for that.

 

[davepoobond]

what? no. she was born in American waters. she's American, a resident of California.

of the blood, or of the soil.

there is no "of the ocean" -- i don't want no god dern mermaids being american citizens. we can't afford it!

 

[Angry Grimace]

Maybe she's looking for chicken. I heard seals like a good club sandwich.

You are most definitely that mean.

 

[Brannon]

Elephant seals are cute. But sea lions? I could do without sea lions.

Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear you disparaging sea lions. Could you tell me why you can't 'do without them'? Is there any proof that they are so negative in your mind or is it... something else. I'm just asking questions so please answer promptly thanks.

 

[Grisby]

This is probably the best internet thing I'll see all week.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

"I just wanna swim over there, guys...."

 

[evil solrac v3.0]

of the blood, or of the soil.

there is no "of the ocean" -- i don't want no god dern mermaids being american citizens. we can't afford it!

pretty sure Seals give birth on land.

 

[How About No]

What a beautiful, magical lady! I want to hug her!

You cross paths with Determined Seal!

Check           Call Wildlife Control
Hug             Deploy Shield

You decide to hug the seal...when you get down to her height, she backpedals and slaps you with her fin! Ouch!

The seal covers her mouth and gasps. She apologizes profusely.

You explain to the seal that there's nothing for her on the other side of the road, and there's no need to risk her life.

She says she trusts your judgement...but she looks a little sad too. The seal hops back into the water.

YOU WON! You got 0 EXP and 30 Gold

 

[Old Gimlet Eyes]

Pretty funny stuff. I wouldn't have let it close the freeway though, when it gets close to that point, just sedate the seal. I would have been laughing my ass off trying to corral that beast though lol.

 

[Calm waterfall]

they should consult the chicken on why the Seal wants to cross the road?

Spoiler

To seal it

 

[Cerium]

Pretty funny stuff. I wouldn't have let it close the freeway though, when it gets close to that point, just sedate the seal. I would have been laughing my ass off trying to corral that beast though lol.

I think they probably didn't want to sedate her because she's pregnant.

 

[davepoobond]

pretty sure Seals give birth on land.

birth tourism

 

[SURGEdude]

She heard Trump was planning on making America great again and wanted to be here when it goes down.

 

[Arkos]

Somebody warn Buster

 

[Lamel]

Maybe Trump is using these guys to Seal the borders

Lol.

 

[Log4Girlz]

Somebody warn Buster

She needs help. Won't someone give her a hand?

 

[Arkos]

She needs help. Won't someone give her a hand?

No, her innocent looks are how she gets her hooks in you.

 

[evil solrac v3.0]

birth tourism

are you insinuating it's an anchor baby? I won't have that. it's un-American. it's wrong.
Seal-Americans deserve rights just like all other American citizens.

 

[Chittagong]

Man, I drove Hway 1 from San Diego to Bodega Bay, and even without seals it was the best road I've ever seen. This seals the deal as GOAT road

 

[evil solrac v3.0]

Man, I drove Hway 1 from San Diego to Bodega Bay, and even without seals it was the best road I've ever seen. This seals the deal as GOAT road

it's not a Goat Seal, it's an Elephant Seal.

 

[John Kowalski]

Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear you disparaging sea lions. Could you tell me why you can't 'do without them'? Is there any proof that they are so negative in your mind or is it... something else. I'm just asking questions so please answer promptly thanks.

oh goddamnit get off

 

[XiaNaphryz]

are you insinuating it's an anchor baby? I won't have that. it's un-American. it's wrong.
Seal-Americans deserve rights just like all other American citizens.

Maybe he's trying to say the elephant seal wants to give birth on American soil and have an anchor baby.

Also, update:

Animal experts were hoping to end a standoff with a wayward elephant seal on Tuesday afternoon by luring the 900-pound beast onto land next to the North Bay highway she blocked on Monday, knocking her out with a sedative and carting her out of harm’s way.

A rescue team was waiting for high tide around 3:30 p.m. to set their plan in motion, but success will depend a lot on what the seal will do.

“She’s a 900-pound elephant seal and we’re not. She pretty much does what she wants,” Barbie Halaska, a research assistant at The Marine Mammal Center in Sausalito, said after failed attempts to get the creature to skedaddle by blowing air horns, yelling at her and nudging her with a kayak.

The new plan is to wait for high tide, which is when the seal attempted to cross the road on Monday, and hope that she again climbs onto dry land where experts from the mammal center could sedate her, load her onto a truck and take her to a suitable release location, likely in Point Reyes.

“The plan is predicated on her coming back out of the water and that’s really up to her,” said Dave Zahniser, a rescue and response manager from the mammal center.

Said plan will commence around half an hour from now.

Update also means new photos:

 

[RangerBAD]

I didn't know Quentin Tarantino helped with seal rescue.

 

[Asbel]

I'd want to know why she wants to cross the road. Stop traffic and let her cross dammit!

 

[XiaNaphryz]

I'd want to know why she wants to cross the road. Stop traffic and let her cross dammit!

There's no water on the other side in that area of the wetlands, nor any real food suitable for a seal. Unless it's reeeeeeeeeeeeeally interested in heading to the racetrack that's nearby.

https://www.infineonraceway.com/

 

[studyguy]

I just wanted to hit up In N Out

 

[Chmpocalypse]

Maybe she's looking for chicken. I heard seals like a good club sandwich.

Boooooooo

 

[Hellwarden]

"I will return with more forces humans.

....Then we will retake the land."

 

[excelsiorlef]

Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear you disparaging sea lions. Could you tell me why you can't 'do without them'? Is there any proof that they are so negative in your mind or is it... something else. I'm just asking questions so please answer promptly thanks.

Omg yes...

 

[davepoobond]

are you insinuating it's an anchor baby? I won't have that. it's un-American. it's wrong.
Seal-Americans deserve rights just like all other American citizens.

we need moderate seals to exclaim they reject this ideology of birth tourism within the seal community

 

[Asbel]

There's no water on the other side in that area of the wetlands, nor any real food suitable for a seal. Unless it's reeeeeeeeeeeeeally interested in heading to the racetrack that's nearby.

https://www.infineonraceway.com/

That seal knows something humans don't. Let her cross!

 

[dan2026]

Are Elephant Seals agressive?

 

[Syriel]

Are Elephant Seals agressive?

Only if you mess with them.

 

[Angry Grimace]

Are Elephant Seals agressive?

I've been up to see them around San Simeon and they just lay there hoping you won't step on them

 

[NinjaFridge]

She’s a 900-pound elephant seal and we’re not

Experts.

 

[PSqueak]

I just wanted to hit up In N Out

I love the combo of this pic and your avatar.

 

[Nafai1123]

Apparently they tranquilized her. Way to go humans, now we'll never know why the seal crossed the road.

 

[XiaNaphryz]

Apparently they tranquilized her. Way to go humans, now we'll never know why the seal crossed the road.

 

[Suikoguy]

You cross paths with Determined Seal!

Check           Call Wildlife Control
Hug             Deploy Shield

You decide to hug the seal...when you get down to her height, she backpedals and slaps you with her fin! Ouch!

The seal covers her mouth and gasps. She apologizes profusely.

You explain to the seal that there's nothing for her on the other side of the road, and there's no need to risk her life.

She says she trusts your judgement...but she looks a little sad too. The seal hops back into the water.

YOU WON! You got 0 EXP and 30 Gold

A sequel would so work.

Yeah, the underlying point of the title won't work again, but the humor still would.

 

[Angry Grimace]

Facts about Elephant Seals:

"Northern elephant seals return to their terrestrial breeding ground in December and January, with the bulls arriving first. The bulls haul out on isolated or otherwise protected beaches, typically on islands or very remote mainland locations. It is important that these beach areas offer protection from the winter storms and high surf wave action. The bulls engage in fights of supremacy to determine which few bulls will achieve a harem."

So basically they live in an anime world.

 

[SpeedySwaf]

STELLAAAAAA!

 

[Asbel]

The seal was heard yelling "FFFRRREEEDDDOOMMM!!!! before it succumbed to the tranquilizer.

 

[Stumpokapow]

Officials were stumped on why the seal seems so determined to cross the road.

To get to the other side.

 

[hoy]

those dummies in the boat are getting way too close, asking to get bit.

 

[Dai101]

those dummies in the boat are getting way too close, asking to get bit.

 

[Twilight Gap]

To get to the other tide.

ftfy

 

[orioto]

 

[y2dvd]

FABULOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

 

[Premium Quality]

Ayy lol!!

 

[Sadsic]

this seal is so cute <3