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Got caught masturbating the other day

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E

ElectricBlanketFire

Member
breakfuss said:
To be fair that's been my experience as well. Im not sure of its hormonal or something. I still think it's fucking nasty but to each their own. Thats what showers are for I guess.
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Oh I understand. I've had that experience as well. But some women aren't comfortable with it. It's generalizing to say, "Quit being a baby and grow up."
 
T

Tadaima

Member
low-G said:
Thread title: "I dropped $10,000!!!"
Body: "into my bank account"

"I'm falling 5 miles!"
"With a parachute"

"I'm going to die"
"Eventually"

"I lost so much blood"
"I'm a blood donar"

"I got a girl pregnant"
"We're in a stable relationship"

"I lost my job"
"I have $10 million in savings"
Click to expand...

There are great. More please. But spoiler the bodies for the same comedic effect of entering a thread.
 
M

markofhavoc

Member
ElectricBlanketFire said:
Oh I understand. I've had that experience as well. But some women aren't comfortable with it. It's generalizing to say, "Quit being a baby and grow up."
Click to expand...

Sure, but it's been the case in most of experience that it's usually the man who has the issue, not the woman. From friends saying it, from coworkers shooting the shit, it's almost always guys. But the whole point is generalizing, you can't make everything wholly specific, everyone has different sexually interests and turn ons. I had my first relationship when I was young and the girl only wanted to get fingered underwater, outside had no interest, that's weirdly specific as hell. But I don't include her viewpoint when talking about fingering as a whole, but when I was in a relationship with her, it was something I discussed with her. Bottom line, don't be afraid of the period, if your girl has a problem, then your sol and respect her, but it's more then likely the men's problem here
 
A

Admiral Woofington

Member
You think that's bad OP?

Try being a horny (and stupid) 13 year old who just discovered porn. I came back from school and my mom was in the kitchen. I went to the computer room pretending I was gonna play games and she chuckled. I closed the door, loaded up some free 30s trial porn site, and started going at it. As I was choking the chicken my mom walked in to give me a soda and some snacks after a long day of school, she walks in and sees me hunched over, hears the video, sees the image and screams

AY DIOS Y VIRGEN SANTISIMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

And drops the bowl of snacks and soda on the carpet running away. I'm in there, ashamed of myself, putting the weapon away and closing the window as she's screaming at me through the kitchen that I am a pervert and a sicko and that she'd be telling my dad when he came in.

My dad came in later that night and was laughing like a maniac as he opened the door in my room and told me that it's perfectly normal but to do that shit in the sanctity of my own room or a bathroom. They later bought me my own laptop. They said it was so I could have my own shit to do, but I knew better.
 
M

mreddie

Member
tumblr_l1tk9r5sJh1qz9b3ko1_400.gif
 
D

DeathyBoy

Banned
Admiral Woofington said:
You think that's bad OP?

Try being a horny (and stupid) 13 year old who just discovered porn. I came back from school and my mom was in the kitchen. I went to the computer room pretending I was gonna play games and she chuckled. I closed the door, loaded up some free 30s trial porn site, and started going at it. As I was choking the chicken my mom walked in to give me a soda and some snacks after a long day of school, she walks in and sees me hunched over, hears the video, sees the image and screams

AY DIOS Y VIRGEN SANTISIMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

And drops the bowl of snacks and soda on the carpet running away. I'm in there, ashamed of myself, putting the weapon away and closing the window as she's screaming at me through the kitchen that I am a pervert and a sicko and that she'd be telling my dad when he came in.

My dad came in later that night and was laughing like a maniac as he opened the door in my room and told me that it's perfectly normal but to do that shit in the sanctity of my own room or a bathroom. They later bought me my own laptop. They said it was so I could have my own shit to do, but I knew better.
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Wait, you were blasting full sound?

Between you and the people who don't lock bathroom doors and jerk off, Neogaf is really on fire today with people who subconsciously want family members to see them with a boner.
 
L

LookAtMeGo

Member
I got caught by my brother wacking to a Britney Spears music video. He walked in just as I was busting. A different brother caught me wacking it to Xena Warrior Princess. They made fun of me quite a bit. The one brother would make the Xena war cry at me all the time. The first one never brought it up and probably just wanted to erase it from his memory.
 
T

Trojan X

Banned
She should have got naked, helped you and talked sexy turn you on more. Laughter should have been the aftermath. Damn...
 
J

JeanGrey

Member
Switch Back 9 said:
She's suggested as much, but it's hard for me to get in the zone when I can hear her walking around or watching Pixar movies in the living room.
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So put on some porn or headphones.
IMO she could've helped I mean I feel bad for you got left in a very uncomfortable state so I've been told.LoL

By the way if she wants to get off she can do it on her own even if shes bloody. That's what bathtubs were made for she helps you and you can help her everyone wins.
 
C

criesofthepast

Member
Neidii said:
The noise is the same, I know, have a vag. The smell should not be that bad, not worse than sweating and exchanging fluids like you usually do. And having "your entire balls, ass legs and dick covered in blood" sounds like an exaggeration, we don't bleed that much, it's not like liters of blood pour out like a waterfall.
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Good for you but every woman is different and your vag is not the same as the other 3± billion out there. I would assume as a woman you'd know how period experiences vary greatly from woman to woman.

And I never said it was a waterfal.
 
T

Two Words

Member
Switch Back 9 said:
I know, but because I'm not down with period sex, she doesn't feel it's fair to get me off if she gets nothing out of the deal.

"I want you to fuck me, and if you won't, I'm not blowing you, because that shit is unfair to me." basically.
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Having a tit for tat attitude about sex in a relationship is rather weird.
 
Head of Vengarl

Head of Vengarl

Banned
OP, you can't find the time or space to jerk off when your gf is home?

I had a suffocating relationship with my ex-gf and even I found time to do it once or twice a day. If you really wanna hide it, just go to the bathroom and act like you're taking a dump. Or do it before you shower. Or do it after she falls asleep at night.

MrPink93485 said:
l7COB3V.gif
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Is... is that guy staring down his mom while he jacks off?
 
A

Admiral Woofington

Member
DeathyBoy said:
Wait, you were blasting full sound?

Between you and the people who don't lock bathroom doors and jerk off, Neogaf is really on fire today with people who subconsciously want family members to see them with a boner.
Click to expand...

not blasting full sound, but it was loud enough I was able to get immersed.

I was a kid, give me a break haha
 
F

foxuzamaki

Doesn't read OPs, especially not his own
markofhavoc said:
Sure, but it's been the case in most of experience that it's usually the man who has the issue, not the woman. From friends saying it, from coworkers shooting the shit, it's almost always guys. But the whole point is generalizing, you can't make everything wholly specific, everyone has different sexually interests and turn ons. I had my first relationship when I was young and the girl only wanted to get fingered underwater, outside had no interest, that's weirdly specific as hell. But I don't include her viewpoint when talking about fingering as a whole, but when I was in a relationship with her, it was something I discussed with her. Bottom line, don't be afraid of the period, if your girl has a problem, then your sol and respect her, but it's more then likely the men's problem here
Click to expand...

The girlfriends that I had werent too comfortable with it.
 
M

Marcus

Member
very poor form displayed by your girlfriend . setup was excellent , but execution was nowhere to be found . she is not fit for the sexlympics .

2.3 out of 10 at best .
 
PreFire

PreFire

Member
Man, I thought it was by your parents, roommate, neighbor saw you through your window

It's pretty funny though. You should have been like "babe, right on time"
 
E

echoshifting

Banned
This reminds me of a little game my wife and I play called "Oh my! You caught me masturbating. Whatever will we do now..." We are both big fans of this game.
 
W

wenis

Registered for GAF on September 11, 2001.
Spork4000 said:
Haven't seen the movie, but is his hand fine after that? Pretty sure punching threw a snare would give you a bloody ass hand.

On top of that it ain't easy to do.
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there's a shot after where his hand is all cut up on top and on the inside from all the blisters from practicing.
 
V

Vicetrailia

Member
GrotesqueBeauty said:
I'd consider this a red flag (no pun intended). Who the hell plays tit-for-tat with pleasing their partner? Not to be crude, but if she doesn't enjoy sucking your cock on its own merits from time to time your chemistry may not be all that. The same would be true if you would deny her anytime she was feeling it and you weren't in a space to join in for some reason.

On further reflection, the fact that you feel awkward about your girl catching you jerking it raises an eyebrow as well. I would personally be bummed out in your situation.
Click to expand...

It is though. Seems like a difference and not exactly a good thing for her not to be gung-ho about pleasing you OP. A SO who lives to please is bliss for the insatiable. If you're a horn dog then that could potentially be a problem after marriage.
 
D

Deified Data

Banned
SuperBanana said:
Dude, this is when she is at her horniest. Bloody up that sword of yours like you were William Wallace in Braveheart.
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It's a dry week for me too. I've told her time after time that I don't give a shit but she's just too embarrassed to go through with it. It's not always the guy that shuts down sex during periods.
 
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