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[CarpeDeezNutz]

Great for you? Yes, fathering a child with a woman I didn't love without my specific intent is a nightmare to me.

I already said that would be hard, but still that's your baby. Like it's some nightmare that your baby girl/boy was born.


The real nightmare is the mom, not the baby.

 

[Nabbis]

And people in worse situations still manage to do a great job, what's your point?

What he's feeling now is fear and shock over sudden life changing news. His life isn't over, and he will come to realise that. I'm not giving a single anecdotal point of view. Sure, I'm talking from my own experience but it's also very true that a large number of pregnancies are unplanned. Thank fuck all parents in that situation don't follow your advice.

And he has absolutely no right, nor should he, to deny any sort of financial responsibility. He got a girl pregnant, why should he get to walk away from that while she doesn't? Remember, abortions aren't always an option if if they're the desired outcome.

Lol, wanna bet which way the statistics would point towards?

Sure he has. The women want's the baby and he does not while both were forced into the situation. Other than legislation, everything else is moot.

 

[Gravy Boat]

Lol, wanna bet which way the statistics would point towards?

Sure he has. The women want's the baby and he does not while both were forced into the situation. Other than legislation, everything else is moot.

If he didn't want a baby he shouldn't have conceived one. They were not 'forced' into this situation, there are numerous options available that would have prevented this. He chose not to use preventative measures, therefore he has no choice to avoid paying for it. You don't get to bet money in a casino and claim it back when you lose because you don't like the out come. He gambled and lost, now he has to provide financial support. No one 'forced' them to have unprotected sex.

What statistics? I love statistics.

If they had used protection, like a condom or whatever, then I'd be more sympathetic to his situation because he at least tried to prevent the situation. But he didn't try to prevent it, and you're now just telling him to bail for selfish reasons. You could argue that she's selfish for wanting to keep it while he does not, but that's a risk you take when you fuck without a condom. Babies happen when you have unprotected sex. Don't want a baby, don't have unprotected sex.

 

[PapaJustify]

F*cking without protection, like who gives a damn.
Bailing out on the consequences.
Classic.

 

[Triggerhappytel]

Figure I should ask before jumping to conclusions: Are you saying that not wanting to have children is selfish?

I'm saying that desiring an abortion or wanting no part in the child's upbringing because it will affect his lifestyle is selfish. Deal with the fucking consequences of your actions!

 

[ManUnkindH]

Keep and take care of the baby, you'll regret it for the rest of your life in a few years if you go the abortion way.

 

[Shuggananas]

I'm saying that desiring an abortion or wanting no part in the child's upbringing because it will affect his lifestyle is selfish. Deal with the fucking consequences of your actions!

Wanting an abortion isn't selfish

Keep and take care of the baby, you'll regret it for the rest of your life in a few years if you go the abortion way.

you sure about that ?

 

[Hyun Sai]

Heeh, happened to me once when I was in Fac, we just discussed about it, abortion was the best option, we went for it, no drama.

 

[werks]

Man I love the anti child support crowd in here.

 

[Camwi]

Beautiful.

 

[ManUnkindH]

Wanting an abortion isn't selfish

you sure about that ?

I speak from my own life experience as a man.

 

[Nabbis]

If he didn't want a baby he shouldn't have conceived one. He chose not to use preventative measures, therefore he has no choice to avoid paying for it. You don't get to bet money in a casino and claim it back when you lose because you don't like the out come. He gambled and lost, now he has to provide financial support.

What statistics? I love statistics.

Yeah he has, he does not want it. Casino is a business and business involves a voluntary transaction on an agreed sum. A baby was not agreed upon.

Feel free to search yourself. Optimal households produce more happy children than crappy households is a tautological statement.

 

[Triggerhappytel]

Lol, wanna bet which way the statistics would point towards?

Sure he has. The women want's the baby and he does not while both were forced into the situation. Other than legislation, everything else is moot.

He wasn't "forced" into anything. He chose to have unprotected sex, and now has to deal with the fallout.

Wanting an abortion isn't selfish

No, but wanting to be absolved of responsibility for the baby if the mother doesn't share his desire for an abortion is incredibly selfish.

 

[Shuggananas]

I speak from my own life experience as a man.

I won the lottery once you should totally play the lottery too

Facts show that most people don't regret abortions

Yeah he has, he does not want it. Casino is a business and business involves a voluntary transaction on an agreed sum. A baby was not agreed upon.

When you fuck a woman without protection and don't even pull out, unless you don't know how babby is formed, you kind of agree upon a baby.

 

[Gravy Boat]

Yeah he has, he does not want it. Casino is a business and business involves a voluntary transaction on an agreed sum. A baby was not agreed upon.

Feel free to search yourself. Optimal households produce more happy children than crappy ones is a tautological statement.

If he didn't want it, he shouldn't have had unprotected sex. If she wants to keep it, he's shit out of luck. There's really nothing more to it, if you don't want a baby don't bang without protection. If you do, then deal with the consequences, whatever they end up being.

 

[ManUnkindH]

I won the lottery once you should totally play the lottery too

Facts show that most people don't regret abortions


When you fuck a woman without protection and don't even pull out, unless you don't know how babby is formed, you kind of agree upon a baby.

dafuq u talking about?

 

[Nabbis]

If he didn't want it, he shouldn't have had unprotected sex. If she wants to keep it, he's shit out of luck. There's really nothing more to it, if you don't want a baby don't bang without protection. If you do, then deal with the consequences, whatever they end up being.

Consequences are dictated by law and laws can be changed. I put the happiness of the forced party above the possible child.

 

[hobblygobbly]

I think if you have sex casually with someone that isn't your partner (girlfriend/wife) then I think the best course of action is to actually find out if the kid is really yours.

 

[Shuggananas]

dafuq u talking about?

Keep and take care of the baby, you'll regret it for the rest of your life in a few years if you go the abortion way.

How would you know he's going to regret it for the rest of his life ? You're not OP are you ?

 

[Gravy Boat]

Consequences are dictated by law and laws can be changed. I put the happiness of the forced party above the possible child.

The laws won't be changed though because in this case the law is objectively right. He conceived a child, the child's welfare shouldn't suffer as a result of his regret.

 

[pottuvoi]

So, he just walks away from his responsibilities and leaves it for someone else to step up to the plate? What kind of advice is that? That's terrible advice for any aspect of life, not just this specific situation.

Of course not.
After he has given up fatherhood he has to pay for it. (This works the other way as well..)

If mother wants to have the child without fathers approval this is a choice man can make.
It's just a strange for me to hear people to talk like it doesn't exist.

As always it's preferable for children to born for loving parents which cannot wait for the occasion.

Just going to point out that father get child support when they are single Dad's that's a thing that does actually happen folks.

Yup.
Also in cases where father and mother each has one child, the child supports cancel each other.

 

[Nabbis]

The laws won't be changed though because in this case the law is objectively right. He conceived a child, the child's welfare shouldn't suffer as a result of his regret.

The child is not yet born and a fetus is as much of a person as is a lump of sperm.

 

[Gravy Boat]

The child is not yet born and a fetus is as much of a person as is a lump of sperm.

What does that have to do with my point? You're advocating that he shouldn't have to provide financial support when the child is born if he doesn't want to. My response was that the law rules against that because it puts the welfare of a child over that of a man with regrets. And rightly so.

 

[Cowie]

I'm saying that desiring an abortion or wanting no part in the child's upbringing because it will affect his lifestyle is selfish. Deal with the fucking consequences of your actions!

Alright, No complaints here. Keep on Keepin' on.

 

[Triggerhappytel]

The laws won't be changed though because in this case the law is objectively right. He conceived a child, the child's welfare shouldn't suffer as a result of his regret.

Agreed.

The child is not yet born and a fetus is as much of a person as is a lump of sperm.

The current development of the foetus is irrelevant if she decides to keep it. He played his part in its creation and now has to support her, whether it's to be there for her when she has an abortion, or fiscally after the baby is born.

I think if you have sex casually with someone that isn't your partner (girlfriend/wife) then I think the best course of action is to actually find out if the kid is really yours.

Yeah; this has been said several times and the OP should definitely do this. She sounds foolish hooking up with guys without protection, and it's worth getting proof.

 

[Messofanego]

This sucks for OP and the woman but selfishly I'm just glad I've never or will ever drink alcohol to end up with such unexpected life-changing situations.

 

[Shuggananas]

This sucks for OP and the woman but selfishly I'm just glad I've never or will ever drink alcohol to end up with such unexpected life-changing situations.

Sober people have unprotected sex/unexpected children and drunk people have protected sex y'know
You don't need to be drunk to have poor judgment

 

[marrec]

Isn't two weeks really fast to find out you're pregnant?

Extremely fast, but not unheard of. Even if it was 2 months from the time he forgot to wrap his willy I'd still say get a test done to be sure. No harm in knowing for realsies.

 

[ClosingADoor]

This sucks for OP and the woman but selfishly I'm just glad I've never or will ever drink alcohol to end up with such unexpected life-changing situations.

Don't worry, you get to make plenty of mistakes without alcohol too!

 

[ManUtdRedDevils]

I love how much thought the OP is putting into his abortion arguement but showed absolutely none during the act. High hopes for the future.

 

[Messofanego]

Sober people have unprotected sex/unexpected children and drunk people have protected sex y'know
You don't need to be drunk to have poor judgment

Well, I'll be married if such a situation comes about and so it wouldn't really bother me when I have a child unexpectedly

 

[marrec]

Sober people have unprotected sex/unexpected children and drunk people have protected sex y'know
You don't need to be drunk to have poor judgment

It sure does help though.

 

[Nabbis]

What does that have to do with my point? You're advocating that he shouldn't have to provide financial support when the child is born if he doesn't want to. My response was that the law rules against that because it puts the welfare of a child over that of a man with regrets. And rightly so.

He should be able abstain his responsibility since there is no child to speak of in the first few months. That's exactly why legislation focuses on abortion from the point of view of the woman since the fetus itself has no legal representation. If the law puts the welfare of the fetus first even in this period of time then by all accounts a women should have no right to abort but since it does not then the man should not be tied to it either.

 

[Zoe]

Why shouldn't he?

She's a fuck buddy whom he has no feelings for. As a grown adult, she needs to take responsibility for/deal with the consequences of her actions too. His obligations are towards the potential child, not her.

Saying he needs to "man up and take care of her" is sexist bullshit.

 

[Gravy Boat]

He should be able abstain his responsibility since there is no child to speak of in the first few months. That's exactly why legislation focuses on abortion from the point of view of the woman since the fetus itself has no legal representation. If the law puts the welfare of the fetus first even in this period of time then by all accounts a women should have no right to abort or since it does not then the man should not be tied to it either.

Ok, but what does any of this have to do with him supporting a child he conceived after it's born? If he wants to go backpacking or whatever for 9 months while the baby requires no input from him then whatever. How does this back up your claim from earlier that he shouldn't have to financially support his child?

This is something that children can understand. If you get a girl pregnant, you ore required as much as she is to financially support it.

 

[werks]

Consequences are dictated by law and laws can be changed. I put the happiness of the forced party above the possible child.

The forced party? No one forced him to have sex. All he has to do his pay child support for his own kid, how a legitimate argument can be made against child support is mind blowing.

 

[ClosingADoor]

He should be able abstain his responsibility since there is no child to speak of in the first few months. That's exactly why legislation focuses on abortion from the point of view of the woman since the fetus itself has no legal representation. If the law puts the welfare of the fetus first even in this period of time then by all accounts a women should have no right to abort but since it does not then the man should not be tied to it either.

What are you talking about? Of course he has no responsibility to the fetus. He has it to the kid if they keep it.

 

[Nabbis]

Ok, but what does any of this have to do with him supporting a child he conceived after it's born? If he wants to go backpacking or whatever for 9 months while the baby requires no input from him then whatever. How does this back up your claim from earlier that he shouldn't have to financially support his child?

Because he relinquished his right toward it the same way a woman goes on with it's development, by choice. Yet only one party is allowed to have a choice.

 

[Gravy Boat]

Because he relinquished his right toward it the same way a woman goes on with it's development, by choice. Yet only one party is allowed to have it.

No, the choice was made long before than when he had unprotected sex. THAT was when he got to make a choice, not after he gets someone pregnant.

 

[anarckitty]

Just going to point out that father get child support when they are single Dad's that's a thing that does actually happen folks.

My brother is actually in the process of getting primary custody of his 8 year old daughter, and he's asking for child support from the mother. I hope he gets at least something, his soon-to-be ex-wife is nothing but a sociopathic leech who gives zero fucks about her children.

 

[Africanus]

F*cking without protection, like who gives a damn.
Bailing out on the consequences.
Classic.

How is it bailing out on consequences to request an abortion, which will cost a tidy sum depending on location.
The original poster is simply attempting to avoid a terrible scenario.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Because he relinquished his right toward it the same way a woman goes on with it's development, by choice. Yet only one party is allowed to have a choice.

No, they both made the choice to have unprotected sex.

It is her choice in the end to keep the kid. But otherwise you'd have situations where the other party forces a medical procedure on another individual, which I hope you understand is just plain wrong.

The choice was made when they slept together. That is the risk you take.

 

[werks]

Because he relinquished his right toward it the same way a woman goes on with it's development, by choice. Yet only one party is allowed to have a choice.

He can relinquish his right to the child all he wants, he doesn't get to the relinquish his responsibility to financially provide for the child.

 

[RoninChaos]

It's also terribly unfair for her to have the child if he doesn't want to, but in the end it's still her choice. Those aren't situations where there's easy and right answer. Both need to do serious soulsearching before they make it.
And in many cases if you really can't imagine yourself as a father to this child it might actually be best for the kid to not try to be his father.

This is ridiculous. The only reason anyone would say that with a straight face is because the man isn't carrying the kid. Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for your actions. Saying "I don't want this" isn't a get out of jail free card because someone doesn't want to take responsibility for their part in a situation.

 

[operon]

OP if you didn't want a baby you should have wrapped it.
Think of this way, you could get an amazing son or daughter out of this when instead you could have caught hiv or something.

 

[Nabbis]

No, the choice was made long before than when he had unprotected sex. THAT was when he got to make a choice, not after he gets someone pregnant.

And yet the women does get a choice. If you want to hide around the argument of biology, that's fine. But at the same time a man should have the right of absolving responsibility for equality.

 

[grumble]

Imagine she would actually want to abort. Using this logic pressuring her to not do it also wouldn't really be unfair, because she was aware of the risks before she had unprotected sex and had means to prevent it from happening.

Abortion is based around a women having the right to autonomy over her body. The idea that the man has equal say in getting an abortion isn't actually 'fair' it's highly oppressive.

She also screwed up it's true but pressuring her to do anything is unethical to the extreme. Presenting her with a fair view of her options is however.

 

[Gravy Boat]

And yet the women does get a choice. If you want to hide around the argument of biology, that's fine. But at the same time a man should have the right of absolving responsibility for equality.

He got a choice too. When he had unprotected sex. That was when he got to absolve himself. I'm sorry that human biology means that women ultimately get the final say in this, but it's not as if he didn't know all this going into the situation. Equality is irrelevant because he had ways of preventing this and didn't take them.

He made his choice. He doesn't get to back out now because he doesn't like the outcome.

 

[Dilly]

A kid? Really? You think they are a nightmare?



There is nothing like holding your own baby, it's the best feeling in the world. People just fixate on the worst like they fixate on the best with IG pics.



I would not trade my baby girl for anything in the world, only problem is having a baby with the wrong person but I would still love that baby.

One man's dream is another one's nightmare.

You sound incredibly selfish. Having kids changed my life a great deal, but it's also the best thing that ever happened to me. You don't understand true love until you become a parent.

Not this condenscending shit again, I choose what makes me happy just as you did. I'm glad you love being a parent, but don't tell other people they're selfish because they don't align with your views. Because thinking only your view on life is the right one, is both selfish and childish.

 

[marrec]

OP if you didn't want a baby you should have wrapped it.
Think of this way, you could get an amazing son or daughter out of this when instead you could have caught hiv or something.

This is a good way to think of it OP. Kids are dope, after the initial useless first 4 years they become tiny little people that you can shape and mold like the God you are.