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[BokehKing]

Yeah, at least on the X1. You just hit menu (or whatever Back used to be) then X and it mutes everyone in the match.

It's an option but I think the issue is men don't know how to act
And parents are oblivious to the way their children are talking to females under the roof of their own house

 

[Mass Effect]

This is why I'm honestly for the real name system. Many people act a lot better when their real identity is out in front.

Also sounds like a great way to be cyber-stalked and harassed.

They are still behind a screen with next-to-no consequences.

They very well might be assholes in real life too though.

Exactly. Unless you plan on jailing these people or something, nothing will change in that regard, even if they aren't anonymous.

 

[Lord Phol]

Welcome to the world of online competitive gaming, there's a reason I don't do it much anymore. Doesn't matter what gender, age or race you are, people will still treat you like crap and yell out/type the most cruel, toxic and nasty things you can think of. It's tough but I found it easier to deal with in games where there are mute functions. Someone acts like a dick, just mute, problem solved.

 

[TheOfficeMut]

This is why I'm honestly for the real name system. Many people act a lot better when their real identity is out in front.

What a terrible idea. One day you'll have some psychopath playing with you, who you happen to be fucking up hard in a multiplayer match, who now knows your real name and might escalate it if he was truly that insane. No thanks.

 

[BreezyLimbo]

This is why I'm honestly for the real name system. Many people act a lot better when their real identity is out in front.

This has actually been disproved with Twitter and Facebook. In spades. People will say stupid shit and not give a fuck if they're name is known.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Holy shit at those messages.

 

[Toxi]

Anonymity doesn't matter at all. Go and read comments on news sites where people use their Facebook accounts to make said awful comments. Go look at Twitter. People will be like this regardless because a lot of people are assholes.

Anonymity actually does matter. The people who say awful shit on Facebook and Twitter would say even worse shit if they were anonymous... Which is exactly what happens on sites like 4chan.

The anonymity part isn't required, but it certainly does result in a lot more bile because it makes acting shitty more tempting for people who would otherwise be cautious about tarnishing their image.

 

[Steverulez]

Sorry to hear your wife has to go through that, it sucks when she just wants to play video games.

 

[Yopis]

Being black in the early days of Xbox live was magical.

Was going to post this. Try COD or Socom back in the day. High levels of racism even more than this issue. Party chat is your friend truly.

 

[hiryu64]

This is why I'm honestly for the real name system. Many people act a lot better when their real identity is out in front.

Again, Facebook and Twitter have proven that that isn't the case. It's all part of the Online Disinhibition Effect. These social networking sites have shown us that anonymity--true anonymity--isn't a necessary prerequisite for people to show their worst, although it does serve as a great smokescreen and can potentially magnify that nastiness (see: chan "culture").

EDIT: pretty much what Toxi said.

 

[Finale Fireworker]

But vagrant and inhuman sexism isn't a huge issue in game culture. It's manufactured by outrage culture. SJWs just get offended at everything. Don't play online if you can't take the heat. She probably had a sexy avi too. Sounds like it's more her fault than anything tbh. I bet she's going to use this to make money streaming.

Also, please run me over with a fire truck.

 

[PSqueak]

The mic is exclusively for use with party chat/playing with friends.

Im baffled that people use it while playing with strangers.

Not an excuse for that super shitty behavior, but since sony and microsoft show no signs of correcting the behavior, why even bother?

 

[Admiral Woofington]

Men don't know how to act, but I think the biggest issue is the type of audience that is attracting (teens, immature men) all into one. That is NOT to say mature/respectful people don't get these games too, but the loudest will always be the worst ones.

 

[HerbertBirdsfoot]

i auto mute everyone who isn't a friend in every video game i play



always have a great time in Hearthstone or my Wii U games - more companies should limit speech options in public chat

Games that have anonymous voice chat on by default should be rated AO, in my opinion.

I agree about Hearthstone. Well played, Blizzard.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

This is why I'm honestly for the real name system. Many people act a lot better when their real identity is out in front.

Are you serious?

Are we going to pretend that both FB and Twitter don't have this option and people still post shit on the regular?

 

[Kosma]

Im baffled, I dont remember this type of harrasment before the internet

 

[Behlel]

You can always report those messages and idiots to Sony and they will be banned temporarily or permabanned.

 

[TheGreatMightyPoo]

It will never go away with such an attitude. That attitude is exactly what keeps it going.

If everyone called it out immediately, it wouldn't exist.

Not quite as simple as that obviously, but it's not an impossible thing to tackle on. At the very least, it could be reduced if there was actually will for it.

And by the way, damn right I'm upset at women getting treated that way.

A lot of these people are grown ups.

How has calling it out worked so far???

I just don't think it's a battle that can be won.

I sincerely wish something could be done about it but it's not going to happen.

It is a shame that douchebags can ruin experiences for people but I blame the medium and of course them and their parents.

 

[ratcliffja]

but i thought games were for everybody

and that sexism was over


flawless pair of posts

Facebook and Twitter have proven that the anonymity part isn't necessary. But it helps.

Yeah I used to think it was anonymity, but apparently it's only the fact that there is no threat of being punched in the face.

 

[Familienoberhauptvogel]

Sad state of affairs.

Doesn't seem like anything changed the past decade

 

[rrc1594]

WTF who feels comfortable sending that to someone.

 

[VariantX]

Needs to be a better system in place to deal with these folks. I mean both consoles have built in recording features, why not just give people the option record all that shit and send it off back to MS/Sony and then bans will be issued. 90% percent of that shit will evaporate overnight.

 

[The Technomancer]

Also, please run me over with a fire truck.

"You won't believe what teens are now doing after school. They call it 'emergency response', and its more common than you think"

 

[Team Filler]

Always sad and gross to hear. It'd be nice if Activision themselves took a more proactive approach towards implementing ways in solving behavioral matters like this when they are developing COD, but I'm skeptical they'd ever do something since 12-year old-and-up dick bags are kind of their bread and butter audience.

Sony should definitely enable a "report" function for when you hit the Share Button that allows you to send the previous "x" minutes of sound, video, and text received to a PSN moderation team for review. Suspend these fuckers for a week or two, and if it still isn't sinking in then permanently disable their PSN account and flag their information for future reference in case they act up again when they inevitably create a new account.

 

[JetSetRadio]

Mute/block messages sent by strangers.
It's not that hard.

 

[RipperGrim]

These days I just mute the fuck out of everything. It's completely bullshit that that's the only way to deal with it though.

 

[SlipperyFishes]

In other news the sky is blue.

This is not helpful

 

[Qwell]

This is shitty but I'm always a little confused as to why people put themselves into situations like this. Why not just not play COD with your mic on if you're jumping onto a public servers where you know there will be pre-pubescent kids getting a kick out of being aggressive over the internet?

It's no excuse but the abuse happens to everyone, no?

If you're 'foreign' you get shit. If you're straight you get shit. If you're gay you get shit. Everyone is getting shit thrown at them and your wife was given shit.

Pretty much how I feel, I remember playing Quake 1 on PC and getting this shit talking happen then. Sure it wasn't voice chat but the text chat was the same kind of shit. It has always happened and will probably always happen for the foreseeable future. Unfortunately online gaming is a global thing and yes there are a large number of assholes in the world. Hell look at facebook and twitter, even when people have their name and picture attached they still spew vile shit.

Only thing you can do is use the resources available to block out the bullshit (mute options) and play with a known community. I never use voice chat unless I'm playing with friends, or a group from a board like this (Hi Destiny GAF, I miss you). Being a PC gamer I also tended to flock to moderated dedicated servers for things like Battlefield that would boot people that talked trash.

I'm sorry that your wife has to deal with this trash, just like I'm sorry that everyone has to. I can't even recall the number of times I've been called a fag, dickless, shithead, ass monkey or any other number of vulgar terms over the years playing games.

 

[Finale Fireworker]

Maybe this wouldn't have happened if she had a gun.

 

[UpDownLeftRight]

Not excusing it but this is partly due to the competitive scene surrounding multiplayer shooters and often any competitive scene, gaming or not. Again not defending any of it but I'd wager that a considerable portion of the people saying these things may not even believe the trash they spout but instead are doing it purely to get a rise out of whoever they harass. The matter of her being female is simply an easy path for them to march down. I don't tend to use mics in these games unless I pair up with people on GAF since I usually am dug at for being British, I have friends who refuse to use mics because of being mocked for their sexuality which is easy to identify in their mannerisms.

Generally if you play a competitive shooter and do well you will be jumped on most likely by kids who will spout anything they can to get at you and when they realize something works they will stick with it. Unfortunately it's also hard to just ignore such comments so instead to combat it is really all you can do, which in turn fuels them as they know its getting to you. This is why I don't bother with the mic anymore.

Spoiler

To clarify I'm not trying to lessen the fact that her gender is being targeted in very specific ways, just pointing out that there are actually a number of issues contributing to the behaviour

 

[DSix]

Says a lot more about the Call of Duty playerbase than the whole gamer population.

 

[Eos]

Gamers lol what'd you expect
But yeah she should just mute everyone she can and/or block them if they keep sending messages

 

[sensui-tomo]

To be fair, it should have been in friends lobbies. No where else.

Voice chat is perfectly fine if you're playing with people you know and like.

Imagine Destiny with chat... UGH. I feel nowadays the only way to play with chat is with people you know. I miss my old Xbox Phantasy Star group.

 

[Demoskinos]

Yeah, voice chat from randos is almost always awful. Doubly so if you're a lady. Not that this matches your wifes experience at all but I remember when I was playing Metal Gear Online on the PS4. I had a female character which I named "Hayley" and I would often be assumed by other players to be a lady myself. Which just as you pointed out just evoked all sorts of unsolicited shitty messages.

I honestly have no clue why anyone would act like that to a lady or for that matter another human being period. There has to be a huge disassociation of the fact that there are actual people on the other end or something I dunno cause I seriously doubt that half of these fuck heads would have the balls to say the same shit in public. I know I've always had a personal rule on the internet of never saying anything to someone i wouldn't be down to say straight to their face.

 

[Denton]

I wonder what the average age of people who send/say shit like that is. I would like to believe it is just some stupid immature teenagers who have shitty parents and watch too much porn and will (please, hopefully) grow out of this.

 

[Kamina]

A lot of these people are grown ups.

Maybe physically....

 

[socksfelloff]

Except the real problem is that most of the time, it's not kids. It's very real adults saying this shit.

Women will hear the same thing out at a club/bar too it's just not as prevalent. Today it's the Internet and yesterday it was over the telephone. People will always talk the talk but very few are willing to walk the walk and say these things in person.

On the flip side I've been called every name possible online. I've Come across thousands of guys who have apparently fucked my mom. I've never once had anyone say this to my face since high school. I'm sure this is the case for most men playing games online.

For the record I DO Support the OP and agree with what he says. The hate spewed online is intolerable but unfortunately it's just the way it is. I met my wife playing an online game( Diablo 2) and it took years of playing with her before she even informed me she was a girl. She was very guarded due to the toxic online communities she was apart of.

 

[BokehKing]

I played Destiny almost exclusively for a year straight and then some battlefield hardline, both games don't really have chat in the game per say, you have to essentially opt into it or just no chat in pre game lobbies, it was an amazing silent and quiet experience

When I started to play Halo and BLOPS3 This year I promptly reminded by people 20 years younger than me how my mother gave them blow jobs last night

I always wonder, do parents walk by and hear their kids talking like this?

 

[Nibiru]

Look at the Twitch chat for any female streamer, and that's pretty much the baseline of what to expect from people online. It's a cesspool.

It depends on the game they are streaming and of course the community they cultivate. Eloise a very popular Hearthstone streamer doesn't have much of that kind of chat at all in her stream and she gets up to 6k regularly. Maybe her mods are really good who knows but I don't generally see much deleted chat.

Pokket is another pretty attractive streamer and rarely does she get any of that kind of chat. Pokket is more of a variety streamer that plays all sorts of games and does crafts.

As for CoD mute that shit(I think you can not sure I don't play it.) There is always a few dudes acting like dumb asses.

 

[silvermember]

This has actually been disproved with Twitter and Facebook. In spades. People will say stupid shit and not give a fuck if they're name is known.

Real names simply reduces the amount of people more likely to say stupid shit. It doesn't completely eliminate it. Just like laws reduces crimes but doesn't completely eliminate it.

I however would like not to use real name. Not because I am a jerk, I am rarely unless it comes to any of the bad -ism. I just don't want to asshole tracking me in rl.

 

[NerdEyeBlind]

The very reason I hardly use a microphone anymore. Online communities suck

Exactly. I use Party Chat exclusively.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Sorry this happened to your wife. It sucks, but until game companies step up you're at their mercy. Doesn't help that the kind of guys played crater to this kind of audience.

 

[tuxfool]

This is why I'm honestly for the real name system. Many people act a lot better when their real identity is out in front.

Facebook has proved that this doesn't work. These things don't matter if there are no consequences.

 

[Team Filler]

This is definitely a reminder of why I will always prefer shooters that allow for player-run servers over those that are matchmaking-centric. It's nice to have regular servers to go to where you can rely on the admins to police this kind of shit.

 

[RipperGrim]

Pretty much how I feel, I remember playing Quake 1 on PC and getting this shit talking happen then. Sure it wasn't voice chat but the text chat was the same kind of shit. It has always happened and will probably always happen for the foreseeable future. Unfortunately online gaming is a global thing and yes there are a large number of assholes in the world. Hell look at facebook and twitter, even when people have their name and picture attached they still spew vile shit.

Only thing you can do is use the resources available to block out the bullshit (mute options) and play with a known community. I never use voice chat unless I'm playing with friends, or a group from a board like this (Hi Destiny GAF, I miss you). Being a PC gamer I also tended to flock to moderated dedicated servers for things like Battlefield that would boot people that talked trash.

I'm sorry that your wife has to deal with this trash, just like I'm sorry that everyone has to. I can't even recall the number of times I've been called a fag, dickless, shithead, ass monkey or any other number of vulgar terms over the years playing games.

Honestly it's this kind of thinking that has made online harassment as big as it is now, we shouldn't just be shrugging and going "Oh well", we should be demanding proper moderation by from Microsoft, Sony and whoever else is in charge.

 

[shanafan]

Says a lot more about the Call of Duty playerbase than the whole gamer population.

Yikes, let's not generalize one lobby as a whole. I have been playing COD religiously since 2005, and I know that myself and my close friends wouldn't talk the same way the idiots in lobby with the OP did.

 

[Google]

Why should she not be able to communicate because she is a woman?

What are you talking about?

She should be able to communicate because she's a human. Being a man or woman has nothing to do with it.

My point is that your wife isn't alone in the abuse and that the abuse isn't targeted at her because she's a woman. She's targeted because she's playing a game online played mostly by overly aggressive angry teenagers with no real output or understanding of where to put their emotion.

Her being a woman is the lowest hanging fruit. For me it would be that I have an English accent. For you it might be that you're a dude who sounds like someone's Dad.

If you're playing a game online these are the current barriers to entry and that's not good but it's life right now.

 

[anothertech]

It's a sad truth that most of the tween male gaming crowd will turn into monsters like this given the chance. And some even much older are even worse.

Will be nice when one day singularity happens, and we all know what each other are thinking, and the degenerate species can be eradicated from the gene pool.

 

[John Kowalski]

Can't you ban these people from playing multiplayer or something? Report them or whatnot?

I admit i know next to nothing about how these sorts of multiplayer games work and i've been hearing these stories for so long it's disheartening to see that devs still haven't adapted their games to deal with this stuff.

 

[JetSetRadio]

But they're the guys who will be making your games 10 years from now.