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[Croatoan]

Welcome to the world of online competitive gaming, there's a reason I don't do it much anymore. Doesn't matter what gender, age or race you are, people will still treat you like crap and yell out/type the most cruel, toxic and nasty things you can think of. It's tough but I found it easier to deal with in games where there are mute functions. Someone acts like a dick, just mute, problem solved.

Again, she wasn't playing a competitive mode. COD is much worse though. The battlefield community is either silent or pretty damn polite. We have met multiple good people on bf4.

 

[FStop7]

What are you talking about?

She should be able to communicate because she's a human. Being a man or woman has nothing to do with it.

My point is that your wife isn't alone in the abuse and that the abuse isn't targeted at her because she's a woman. She's targeted because she's playing a game online played mostly by overly aggressive angry teenagers with no real output or understanding of where to put their emotion.

Her being a woman is the lowest hanging fruit. For me it would be that I have an English accent. For you it might be that you're a dude who sounds like someone's Dad.

If you're playing a game online these are the current barriers to entry and that's not good but it's life right now.

Really?

REALLY?

I'm out.

 

[The Elite]

Mute/block messages sent by strangers.
It's not that hard.

Some games, like Call of Duty before BLOPS 3, let you mute all but when someone new came into the game they would be unmuted and you would end up hearing their shit. You would basically have to keep muting each new participant as they arrived. BLOPS 3 fixed this.

Now you just keep mute on all the time.

Halo 5 needs this. Same with GTAO.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

What are you talking about?

She should be able to communicate because she's a human. Being a man or woman has nothing to do with it.

My point is that your wife isn't alone in the abuse and that the abuse isn't targeted at her because she's a woman. She's targeted because she's playing a game online played mostly by overly aggressive angry teenagers with no real output or understanding of where to put their emotion.

Her being a woman is the lowest hanging fruit. For me it would be that I have an English accent. For you it might be that you're a dude who sounds like someone's Dad.

If you're playing a game online these are the current barriers to entry and that's not good but it's life right now.

Are you saying all genders are treated equally online?

 

[outunderthestars]

This behavior can be reported, no?

Microsoft and Sony rarely if ever do anything about it.

 

[Hari Seldon]

The solution to this is for MS and Sony to implement cross game guild features so that people can join self moderated communities. It works well in MMOs and I don't see why it cannot work in consoles where you are paying a sub just like an MMO to play online.

 

[Bearjewpiter]

Im baffled, I dont remember this type of harrasment before the internet

Maybe because, before the internet, there wasn't as many easy tools for people to share their stories of harassment?

 

[RipperGrim]

What are you talking about?

She should be able to communicate because she's a human. Being a man or woman has nothing to do with it.

My point is that your wife isn't alone in the abuse and that the abuse isn't targeted at her because she's a woman. She's targeted because she's playing a game online played mostly by overly aggressive angry teenagers with no real output or understanding of where to put their emotion.

Her being a woman is the lowest hanging fruit. For me it would be that I have an English accent. For you it might be that you're a dude who sounds like someone's Dad.

If you're playing a game online these are the current barriers to entry and that's not good but it's life right now.

Straight up BS man

 

[TheGreatMightyPoo]

Can't you ban these people from playing multiplayer or something? Report them or whatnot?

I would guess this doesn't work well at all.

Gotta keep dat player base.

 

[Finale Fireworker]

What are you talking about?

She should be able to communicate because she's a human. Being a man or woman has nothing to do with it.

My point is that your wife isn't alone in the abuse and that the abuse isn't targeted at her because she's a woman. She's targeted because she's playing a game online played mostly by overly aggressive angry teenagers with no real output or understanding of where to put their emotion.

Her being a woman is the lowest hanging fruit. For me it would be that I have an English accent. For you it might be that you're a dude who sounds like someone's Dad.

If you're playing a game online these are the current barriers to entry and that's not good but it's life right now.

This reeks of "all lives matter" and is completely wrong.

You are homogenizing issues to "everyone has issues" instead of discussing the actual, specific, cultural prejudices that shape these people's lives. You are actively suppressing issues by constructing false equivelancies.

And you are wrong.

If you think being teased for having an English accent is the same as sexism you are wrong. Do not diminish the actual source of these kinds of comments to "ordinary trash talk."

Sexism is much, much larger than trash talk and this symptom is indicative of one of the biggest issues that are tainting this entire industry.

 

[TP-DK]

She should definately report all those people via the PS4.

One of my PSN friends once wrote a nasty message to another user because he was being a dick, the user wrote back that he had reported him. A week later he got a warning from Sony that they don't tolerate such behaviour. So Sony does react on the reports.

Not that reporting should be necessary, people really need to act properly online.

 

[shinobi602]

This isn't a solution though. It's a blockade. There can be a lot of fun in voice chat with teammates. Walling yourself off from that just because people can't behave themselves around people of the opposing gender shouldn't be a proposed solution.

It's not the victims responsibility to not get treated like shit. its the perpetrators responsibility to not be shit.

Well it shouldn't be the solution but let's be realistic, this isn't going to change any time soon, it just won't sadly. These people's personalities are ingrained, might as well silence that shit.

 

[morpix]

If you haven't noticed by now. Call of Duty is not played by 18+ year old people. No matter what the ESRB/PEGI says. And most of them are boys going through puberty.

I'm not defending their actions, but there's a commonality between "kids playing 18+ games" and "kids who treat people like shit"... It's the parents.

 

[Misha]

Im baffled, I dont remember this type of harrasment before the internet

Cat calls and stuff like that have always happened in real life. I've heard plenty of sexism and stuff from normal people (though the language is at a higher level than in the Internet)

Part of the problem is that irl you come across these people occasionally and usually you don't have to stick around them. Online you have to deal with them for a game and years of people hearing other idiots do it has built up a culture where they think it's okay.

Not saying it's the same thing irl but it's really not that shocking that people would do that

 

[Toxi]

On the flip side I've been called every name possible online. I've Come across thousands of guys who have apparently fucked my mom. I've never once had anyone say this to my face since high school. I'm sure this is the case for most men playing games online.

Again, there's a pretty big difference between "I fucked your mom" and insults targeted at a person's identity (Or sexual creeping).

 

[silvermember]

Maybe because, before the internet, there wasn't as many easy tools for people to share their stories of harassment?

Apparently, human beings only started acting like jerks with the advent of the web. Sometimes you have to just shake your head and chuckle.

 

[Terareflection]

The posters just saying "mute/block" aren't helping matters either, Girls want to chat and socialize online and have a good time doing it without worrying about 10 guys spouting crass shit at them.

 

[Fhtagn]

Feel like this kind of stuff should be a year long ban. Report with share feature, year long ban for hate speech. Trash talk is one thing but sexually violent threats and/or harassment should be heavily punished. It's just bad for community and makes online multiplayer unplayable.

Also, it's super absurd to me there isn't an on by default filter that insta-deletes any message sent to you by non-friends that has any of a wide variety of slurs in them. One could opt out but seriously beyond me that people can send messages to strangers like a couple I've received.

 

[Croatoan]

Women will hear the same thing out at a club/bar too it's just not as prevalent. Today it's the Internet and yesterday it was over the telephone. People will always talk the talk but very few are willing to walk the walk and say these things in person.

On the flip side I've been called every name possible online. I've Come across thousands of guys who have apparently fucked my mom. I've never once had anyone say this to my face since high school. I'm sure this is the case for most men playing games online.

For the record I DO Support the OP and agree with what he says. The hate spewed online is intolerable but unfortunately it's just the way it is. I met my wife playing an online game( Diablo 2) and it took years of playing with her before she even informed me she was a girl. She was very guarded due to the toxic online communities she was apart of.

Ohh i get hate messages and shit talked all the time. Hell I play mobas and rocket league(which means I have to have thick skin). My sexuality and race are never attacked though. I am called names but I am never belittled because I have a vagina.

I think there is a difference honestly.

 

[Stuart444]

Anonymity actually does matter. The people who say awful shit on Facebook and Twitter would say even worse shit if they were anonymous... Which is exactly what happens on sites like 4chan.

The anonymity part isn't required, but it certainly does result in a lot more bile because it makes acting shitty more tempting for people who would otherwise be cautious about tarnishing their image.

Indeed. I think of it as:

Twitter + FB (aka things that often has your real name attached (though not always but often enough)) = People say what's on their mind without a filter (which has often ended up in people getting in trouble with their jobs or people who were friends of them finding out that their friend is actually a racist/sexist/ignorant/etc person and deciding to not want to spend time with them)

Anonymity = these 'people' go out of their way to be the biggest dicks they can. Because "Who cares? I'm just one anonymous person in a sea of thousands, it doesn't matter what I say or who I say it to" or something like that.

 

[xPhinehas]

My point is that your wife isn't alone in the abuse and that the abuse isn't targeted at her because she's a woman. She's targeted because she's playing a game online played mostly by overly aggressive angry teenagers with no real output or understanding of where to put their emotion.

This isn't true actually, The average age of males who play games is 19-35.

 

[cpp_is_king]

I've met plenty of cool people that I played with for years (and some I still play with) through voice chat. Just because they are a lot of idiots out there doesn't mean 100% of people are terrible.





Anonymity doesn't matter at all. Go and read comments on news sites where people use their Facebook accounts to make said awful comments. Go look at Twitter. People will be like this regardless because a lot of people are assholes.

Yes there are some people that will be assholes regardless of whether they are anonymous. This is not most people though. Most people are not assholes. Everyone knows that anonymity on the internet is why the internet is a much less civil place than the "real world". It doesn't really take a rocket science to figure that out.

That doesn't mean that in an internet where anonymity is impossible 0% of the people in it would be assholes. It would just mean that it's much closer to life outside of the internet. Which hopefully we can all agree is a bit different.

In any case, the reality is that we're looking at a future without anonymity. I'm not saying I like it, but I do think it's the natural course of progression. Whether it be 20 years from now or 50, the wild west don't last forever.

 

[Alo81]

I always wonder, do parents walk by and hear their kids talking like this?

When I was younger, my cousin and I would play Halo 2 online in splitscreen multiplayer. He was really good and really competitive. His mom would sit on the couch and watch, cheer him on, and encourage him to say the most vile shit to people - since that's what everyone was doing.

So it would be him telling people "I'm gonna fucking rape you you little bitch" while his mother/my aunt sat behind cackling.

Looking back on it, it was really fucked up how encouraged it was.

 

[TheSpoiler]

It's not a topic about online abuse until some dude comes in and pretends like guys get it just as bad.

 

[Mass Effect]

Anonymity actually does matter. The people who say awful shit on Facebook and Twitter would say even worse shit if they were anonymous... Which is exactly what happens on sites like 4chan.

The anonymity part isn't required, but it certainly does result in a lot more bile because it makes acting shitty more tempting for people who would otherwise be cautious about tarnishing their image.

Okay, it wouldn't matter as much as some think it would. It would probably reduce assholery overall, but it was still be very common.

What are you talking about?

She should be able to communicate because she's a human. Being a man or woman has nothing to do with it.

My point is that your wife isn't alone in the abuse and that the abuse isn't targeted at her because she's a woman. She's targeted because she's playing a game online played mostly by overly aggressive angry teenagers with no real output or understanding of where to put their emotion.

Her being a woman is the lowest hanging fruit. For me it would be that I have an English accent. For you it might be that you're a dude who sounds like someone's Dad.

If you're playing a game online these are the current barriers to entry and that's not good but it's life right now.

just like black people in the US aren't disproportionately targeted and abused by police because they're black, amirite?!

 

[cosmicblizzard]

The first part of this has always been incorrect.

I disagree. Maybe it's the cynical side of me speaking, but most people are assholes deep down. Anonymity and an online "barrier" is enough to bring it out for more than a few. Many of these people would never say this kind of shit in public face to face to someone whether out of fear or actually knowing how to act in public.

 

[finalflame]

This is kind of what happens when your biggest player base is 12 year olds. Disgusting none the less.

 

[EL CUCO]

Probably beaten like a Dead horse but Mute and Report is probably the only thing she can do.

Hopefully the account gets spotted and banned so they learn their lesson..

 

[Bearjewpiter]

Are you saying all genders are treated equally online?

Obviously not because as long as people are assholes, which will be for the forseeable future in my opinion, no one will be treated equally online. I think he's saying that there's no hiding form the assholes, if they want to be online and be making fun of people because that makes them feel high and mighty then they don't give a shit what your gender is, they just care about what they can tease you about. Because they're petty assholes.

 

[Beefy]

Can't you ban these people from playing multiplayer or something? Report them or whatnot?

I admit i know next to nothing about how these sorts of multiplayer games work and i've been hearing these stories for so long it's disheartening to see that devs still haven't adapted their games to deal with this stuff.

The guy that kept on sending be abusive messages and voice messages only got a warning email. He took delight in telling and sending me the image of the email he got, before abusing me again.. I( kept blocking him but he must have had about ten accounts before anyone asks.)

 

[The Elite]

This isn't true actually, The average age of males who play games is 19-35.

Yet most of the shit I hear comes from what sounds like kids. Maybe we should start putting an age rating on headsets. Lol

 

[Straight Edge]

Post their gamer tags and GAF can bombard them with messages

 

[ChaosZeroX]

What a bunch of classless fucks.

I hope you reported them OP.

Sony will 100% ban them for that type of shit.

 

[JetSetRadio]

When I was younger, my cousin and I would play Halo 2 online in splitscreen multiplayer. He was really good and really competitive. His mom would sit on the couch and watch, cheer him on, and encourage him to say the most vile shit to people - since that's what everyone was doing.

So it would be him telling people "I'm gonna fucking rape you you little bitch" while his mother/my aunt sat behind cackling.

Looking back on it, it was really fucked up how encouraged it was.

 

[Jack Random]

Really?

REALLY?

I'm out.

in this case, im going to say "really"

It's COD, puerile shitheads talk like that in games. Sure, they tailored the comments to her being a woman, but i've heard and been called everything imaginable back before i got into the habit of plugging in the headset and leaving it on my lap with my mic muted. It's the only way to play those games

 

[RedSwirl]

This is why Blizzard and Nintendo are taking the correct approach - just limit olnine communication. People are too irresponsible to be trusted with vocal anonymity online.

Pretty much. Nintendo doesn't want that kind of crap associated with its family-friendly image.

 

[JumpCancel]

get the PSN ID's of these people, see if you can track them down via social media. Find a way to get the message out there on what they said, post it on their facebook wall/twitter/whatever.

anonymity isn't as obtainable as it once was. 2 searches and you'll have these peoples names and address. What fools.

 

[Croatoan]

The solution to this is for MS and Sony to implement cross game guild features so that people can join self moderated communities. It works well in MMOs and I don't see why it cannot work in consoles where you are paying a sub just like an MMO to play online.

My god I want this so much. My wife wanted to join that one girl league thing for battlefield but didn't have the time to play when they wanted her to. Would love some type of clan system on PSN. I mean our friends list are sort of like that but then we don't meet new people.

If that makes sense.

 

[Nights Owl]

It's actually reasons like this I'm afraid of even playing online games, even with text chat. I'm always worried that what I'm doing is going to get me insulted, when in reality, I'm just playing a friggin' game.

And I know that with games with voice chat, I may get insulted for being who I am. Shit that I can't change.

It's really discouraging. =/

 

[wanderingprostheyltite]

What are you talking about?

She should be able to communicate because she's a human. Being a man or woman has nothing to do with it.

My point is that your wife isn't alone in the abuse and that the abuse isn't targeted at her because she's a woman. She's targeted because she's playing a game online played mostly by overly aggressive angry teenagers with no real output or understanding of where to put their emotion.

Her being a woman is the lowest hanging fruit. For me it would be that I have an English accent. For you it might be that you're a dude who sounds like someone's Dad.

If you're playing a game online these are the current barriers to entry and that's not good but it's life right now.

Lol wow. Gotta be super creative with selective perception to think this way. What's a gamer gate? Durrr.

 

[RiccochetJ]

Unfortunately this is why a lot of people just go into party chat by default.

 

[TheSpoiler]

Obviously not because as long as people are assholes, which will be for the forseeable future in my opinion, no one will be treated equally online. I think he's saying that there's no hiding form the assholes, if they want to be online and be making fun of people because that makes them feel high and mighty then they don't give a shit what your gender is, they just care about what they can tease you about. Because they're petty assholes.

But that asshole is far more likely to start shit with a girl rather than a guy. And there are way worse things to call a woman than a straight male.

So while all people do get shit, women get it exponentially more, and that asshole is going to go off, and continue to go off, far more constantly around the other sex.

In addition to that, you assume that only petty, angry assholes exists. It's a whole spectrum of shitheads, from perverts, nice guys, thirsty dudes, and sexists pigs. They don't have to be angry at their lives to be those things.

in this case, im going to say "really"

It's COD, puerile shitheads talk like that in games. Sure, they tailored the comments to her being a woman, but i've heard and been called everything imaginable back before i got into the habit of plugging in the headset and leaving it on my lap with my mic muted. It's the only way to play those games

This mentality of "it's always been this way, deal with it" and "me too!" isn't helping. She shouldn't have to mute the mic, and the vitriol spewed at you is nowhere near as much as a it is towards a woman.

 

[xPhinehas]

Yet most of the shit I hear comes from what sounds like kids. Maybe we should start putting an age rating on headsets. Lol

I can get behind this. Is there a petition I can sign?

 

[TheGreatMightyPoo]

Pretty much. Nintendo doesn't want that kind of crap associated with its family-friendly image.

Poor Splatoon.

I hope you're happy, you little shits.

 

[Dicer]

Online voice chat is a cesspool, regardless of sex, or race or anything, it's just complete and utter garbage...

It's unfortunate but it's true.

Poor Splatoon.

I hope you're happy, you little shits.

I hope this is some poor form of humor or sarcasm.

 

[Vital Tundra]

Nothing useful has ever been said in voice chat ever.

I wouldn't say nothing. One time while playing Halo 3 with my brother, a guy jumped in our warthog as gunner, and the most magical experience of my life began. He began yelling and singing in the most amazing country accent, and would periodically stop everything to play his trombone. Needless to say, morale of the team was at an all time high. We lost, but it was worth it.

 

[RedSwirl]

This is also why I like private dedicated servers. If a game supports them, chances are you can find one that's moderated.

 

[styl3s]

My point is call of duty kids being immature is not news. It's always been like this and unfortunately always will be.

To be honest just about any online game you play is full of immature people because of anonymity. Call of Duty, CS, Halo, League, Dota just about every online competitive game i have played i have been called every homosexual derogative in the book and at least once every 2 games i play of Halo/COD someone says "You sound like a fa___"

 

[wingedarcher7]

It's pathetic and so sad that this is the truth. My own girlfriend who plays Smash and works at EB Games gets hit on all the time while on the job and insulted when she rejects them. She works there to raise money, not to flirt. Any conversation that involves her saying that she plays Smash has people jumping to the conclusion that she plays casually with items on, and uses Kirby. Not that there is anything wrong with either of those things, but they never take her seriously and it annoys her, as it should.

Those are the same guys who wonder why more girls don't play video games. Maybe it's because the community is filled with assholes and creeps who scare them away.

 

[Alo81]

What are you talking about?

She should be able to communicate because she's a human. Being a man or woman has nothing to do with it.

My point is that your wife isn't alone in the abuse and that the abuse isn't targeted at her because she's a woman. She's targeted because she's playing a game online played mostly by overly aggressive angry teenagers with no real output or understanding of where to put their emotion.

Her being a woman is the lowest hanging fruit. For me it would be that I have an English accent. For you it might be that you're a dude who sounds like someone's Dad.

If you're playing a game online these are the current barriers to entry and that's not good but it's life right now.

I'm fairly confident that this is just outright wrong. Women on a person to person basis certainly face more abuse online than men.