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[Empty]

i think you can definitely criticize the shoe gears review for its approach and about whether he should give an A+ to a game with the kind of flaws that he acknowledges, but that highlighted jpg is terribly misleading as it misses half of the review and i wish people would stop posting it.

 

[BY2K]

Gametrailers review of Sonic Colors.

 

[Dennis]

i think you can definitely criticize the shoe gears review for its approach and about whether he should give an A+ to a game with the kind of flaws that he acknowledges, but that highlighted jpg is terribly misleading as it misses half of the review and i wish people would stop posting it.

Nice try Dan

 

[Riposte]

Going to constantly update this.

WALL OF SHAME

Chris Roper (IGN): GOD HAND (Partybabyz is better)
http://ps2.ign.com/articles/738/738253p1.html

Hilary Goldstein (IGN): Grand Theft Auto 4 (Oscar-worthy)
http://xbox360.ign.com/articles/869/869381p1.html

Jim Sterling (Destructoid): Vanquish (Formulaic and shitty controls!)
http://www.destructoid.com/review-vanquish-186214.phtml

Greg Tito (The Escapist): Dragon Age II (What videogames should be, not like this)
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/reviews/8701-Dragon-Age-II-Review

Rich McCormick (PC Gamer): Dragon Age II (Best RPG combat, best storytelling)
http://www.pcgamer.com/2011/03/08/dragon-age-2-review/

Greg Miller (IGN): Dead Space 2 (Relatively good review for an 7 year old)
http://pc.ign.com/articles/114/1145332p1.html

??? (GameTrailers): STALKER Shadows of Chernobyl (Why can't I shoot all these stalkers?!)
http://www.gametrailers.com/video/review-s-t-a-l-k-e-r/18293

Dan Hsu (1up): Gears of War (Worst best game ever made)
http://www.1up.com/reviews/gears-of-war_2

??? (IGN): Football Manager 09
http://uk.pc.ign.com/articles/936/936295p1.html (The apology)

What sports fan doesn't want to take control of his favorite team and guide it to a championship, or, better yet, a long string of championships? Well, if it means playing Worldwide Soccer Manager, you can count me in that number.

Worldwide Soccer Manager 2009 gives gamers the chance to manage and coach 5,000 soccer teams from 50 countries around the globe, giving them the chance to manage every aspect of their team's roster, field questions from reporters at their team's press conferences, and coach their teams in real time as each simulated game unfolds. What it doesn't do, more importantly, is provide any compelling reason to keep "playing."

Although the game's database of more than 350,000 real-life soccer players is certainly impressive, only the most diehard fans of the sport would be able to appreciate having such a massive pool of talent to sift through, and the casual fan would almost certainly find the task overwhelming – I did.

The game's incredibly complex menu system is very difficult to navigate, even with the on-screen help box directing you through the process. In short, this game is extremely difficult to simply pick up and play. If you're unfamiliar with the franchise expect to spend a significant amount of time simply trying to figure out how to navigate the menus.

Worldwide Soccer Manager's presentation problems don't end there though, once you finally make it to your team's first game you'll find that the player renderings and animations are awful, and the stadiums you play in lack any kind of personality or detail. Each field is bordered by fences and what appear to be unfinished stands, which don't have any fans in them. And, when the ball is kicked off of the pitch, it passes smoothly through the surrounding fences, right through the stands, and disappears from view only to return to the field in the same fashion, appearing magically from the stands and passing through the fences (and goals) on its way back into play.

Then there's the sound, or lack thereof. There is no soundtrack that plays while you work in the game's menus, which you'll spend the vast majority of your time in this game doing. There is no audio narration to accompany your participation in press conferences, even though your options for how to respond to each question is incredibly limited. There is no audio commentary to accompany the action in the simulated game's you watch/coach. In fact, the only sound we found in the entire game was the tones of fans cheering as each simulated game played out – which only detracts from the game's feel of authenticity seeing as there are no fans rendered in the stands.

As far as traditional gameplay goes, there really isn't any in Worldwide Soccer Manager 2009. Apart from managing your roster and coaching your team, there really isn't anything to do at all. So, unless you really enjoy clicking on menu buttons, you'll find your interaction with this game extremely disappointing.

However, if you're a big footie fan and big fan of sports simulation, you'll be extremely impressed with the depth of Worldwide Soccer Manager, which allows you to control just about every facet of your team and draw from a player pool that is simply mindboggling.

Closing Comments
This game obviously aims to provide the deepest soccer simulation experience possible for the sport’s most passionate and informed fans, but it offers little to nothing that would appeal to a casual fan of the sport or to the average videogame enthusiast. The menus are complex and difficult to navigate, graphics are terrible, the sound is non-existent and there is no traditional gameplay to speak of. I couldn’t imagine why anybody would prefer Worldwide Soccer Manager to FIFA 09 or Pro Evolution Soccer 2009.

EDIT: http://www.dualshockers.com/2010/03/17/what-exactly-is-jim-sterling-reviewing-not-much-apparently/

Too low-brow to attack achievement points?!?!

 

[Krev]

Is the 'almost too good' GOW2 thing banned? Why?

IGN MGS4.

Most reviewers seem incapable of giving a big game a bad score, that's the big difference between this and other media. Music magazines or film reviewers won't be afraid to take a shit on a new Coldplay album or a Transformers movie, but the gaming equivalents always get a 7+ despite their frequent shitness. If you think MGS4 deserves a perfect score there is something wrong with you. None of the big outlets know what the fuck they are talking about most of the time.

Well said.

But then again, everything gets a 7+.
First, we need more reviews to use the full scale, like Edge does.
Then, the industry and press covering it needs to mature to the point that reviewers can criticise a major 'AAA' release without fear of publishers pulling advertising and killing their publication.

 

[Turnstyle]

Any reviewer who gives up on a game halfway through.

Destructoid have done this a few times I think. Here's their review of Velvet Assassin:

http://www.destructoid.com/review-velvet-assassin-132663.phtml

The game has its flaws, but I really enjoyed it. To claim that it's so bad that the reviewer can't even make it to the end is just the laziest writing ever.

 

[Empty]

oh my god. i'd never read the text for the infamous football manager review. that's amazing. the funny thing is that i could imagine competent writers like those at rock, paper, shotgun doing a really interesting piece about a non-football fan or very casual follower trying to understand the intricacies of football manager, but that guy is completely clueless and offers no insight at all.

 

[beje]

Any reviewer who gives up on a game halfway through.

Destructoid have done this a few times I think. Here's their review of Velvet Assassin:

http://www.destructoid.com/review-velvet-assassin-132663.phtml

The game has its flaws, but I really enjoyed it. To claim that it's so bad that the reviewer can't even make it to the end is just the laziest writing ever.

IGN made this mistake with a Wii Sonic game (don't remember which one). They stopped playing after the first credit roll when there was still like half the content left.

 

[ajim]

gamespot 6.8 shenmue review

 

[Deleted member 74300]

I'm not sure how professional this Navgtr guy is or not but his reviews are good for a laugh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Waiw9dSe3c&feature=player_detailpage#t=72s

http://www.youtube.com/user/navgtr

 

[iconoclast]

I don't suppose Tim Rogers counts? He isn't factored in metacritic or anything... probably for the best. His nonsense would overflow the thread.

Has anyone ever read a Tim Rogers article in its entirety?

 

[Seven Force]

Gametrailers review of Sonic Colors.

Was going to say this.

 

[ThoseDeafMutes]

IGN MGS4.



http://i110.photobucket.com/albums/n119/yoshi2542/b3lwsy.gif[IMG]

Most reviewers seem incapable of giving a big game a bad score, that's the big difference between this and other media. Music magazines or film reviewers won't be afraid to take a shit on a new Coldplay album or a Transformers movie, but the gaming equivalents always get a 7+ despite their frequent shitness. If you think MGS4 deserves a perfect score there is something wrong with you. None of the big outlets know what the fuck they are talking about most of the time.[/QUOTE]


I think the root of the problem here is that you get 6/10 just for being a functioning game that turns on and operates well enough. The most generic and formulaic game in the world with a terrible story, bad graphics etc can still be a competent game in terms of control and minute to minute gameplay, and thus will still score better than an ambitious but mechanically flawed game will.

What I find more distressing, actually, is the fact that games that are good always receive a good score for sound, story, graphics etc even when it absolutely does not warrant it, and games that are bad seem to get trashed on the same stuff. It's like they don't want to bring the overall score down based on the trashy story and mediocre sound design (because they are less important in 99.9% of games), so they basically lie about how good they are on the points table.

 

[Diablohead]

IGN made this mistake with a Wii Sonic game (don't remember which one). They stopped playing after the first credit roll when there was still like half the content left.

Black Knight I think, there is like another 40% after the credits.

 

[Deleted member 81567]

Gamespy's review of Aliens vs Predator was lulzy

 

[Riposte]

Edge's Marvel vs Capcom 3 review comes to mind. The sheer confidence in his ignorance is amusing. However it doesn't seem to be online.

On the other hand there is Giantbomb/Jeff's fanboyism for Mortal Kombat which led to him giving MK vs DC a 5/5. (One star higher than MvC3 lol).

 

[bigdaddygamebot]

Escapist Dragon Age II.

This. A thousand times this.

 

[dock]

gamespot 6.8 shenmue review

Almost any score can be justified with well written text.

Quoting the score out of context doesn't validate the review as unprofessional, just because you disagree with the score.

 

[Alex Connolly]

Has anyone ever read a Tim Rogers article in its entirety?

*Otto Mann's voice*

I tried, oh how I did try.

 

[opticalmace]

Edge's Marvel vs Capcom 3 review comes to mind. The sheer confidence in his ignorance is amusing. However it doesn't seem to be online.

On the other hand there is Giantbomb/Jeff's fanboyism for Mortal Kombat which led to him giving MK vs DC a 5/5. (One star higher than MvC3 lol).

I don't know, you kind of sound like the fanboy to me. What's so outrageous about his (Gerstmann's) review?

 

[NotebookJ2]

Has anyone ever read a Tim Rogers article in its entirety?

That's something I wouldn't even wish on my most hated enemy.

 

[IrishNinja]

Joystiq's review of Nier; when dude got called out for saying he couldnt use a mini-map for the fishing tutorial (despite having had to use it to get that far, natch) he came on here to defend his bullshit. after more weak excuses, dude pulled the "got better thangs to do that talk to scrubs onna internet" and promptly did their podcast making fun of members of this community, which segata sanshiro (IIRC) called him out on again.

i wish that site was still banned. id link but i dont want to give them more hits, so here's a hot mess of a thread. FOLLOWING RED X'S IS SO HARD

*edit: my man

Hm, let me see if I've got this right.

1. Justin McElroy joins NeoGAF, asks that Joystiq be taken off the banned list.
2. Justin McElroy makes silly mistake, blames a game for it.
3. GAF calls Joystiq on this in the usual GAF fashion.
4. Justin McElroy admits silly mistake but still doesn't take any responsibility at all for making it, instead still blaming the game.
5. Joystiq makes a podcast where Justin still doesn't take responsibility for making a mistake, and makes constant shots at GAF for both calling him on it and enjoying Nier.

Classy, Justin. Classy. Never read Joystiq before, certainly won't now. At the very least I've learned that if I see your name attached to an opinion, it's not worth listening to.

trash like this and sterling are like symbols of LOL GAME JOURNALISM

 

[Riposte]

I don't know, you kind of sound like the fanboy to me. What's so outrageous about his (Gerstmann's) review?

MK vs DC pretty much sucked.

 

[Anerythristic]

I bought Ring of Red for the PS2 due to Game Informers score of 9.

 

[opticalmace]

MK vs DC pretty much sucked.

Whoops I was just thinking of MK.

 

[EatChildren]

Every review I've written.

Just disgraceful really.

 

[LiK]

IGN's Metal Gear Acid review.

 

[DaBuddaDa]

The Dead Space 2 IGN review really takes the cake for unprofessional. It literally reads like a 10 year old wrote it. Literally. Literally. You can disagree with a score all you want, in the end this is all subjective. You can indulge in your latent paranoid tendencies and throw on your tin foil hats claiming reviewers have been paid off with no proof. But nothing can excuse a 'professional' writer for being at 3rd grade level writing skills.

 

[orion434]

PLAY Magazine - Magna Carta Review

It was basically an apology for the sub-standard localization of the game. They gave it a 9 but the review read like < 6 and I didn't like the game much, but after that I stoped reading the magazine and canceled my subscription.

 

[Jintor]

gamejournos.com or Gamers Deserve Better is a good site to bookmark, check in on once in a while and to take examples from to make certain that you're not writing or publishing like some of the people in there.

 

[Narag]

Going to constantly update this.

WALL OF SHAME

Chris Roper (IGN): GOD HAND (Partybabyz is better)
http://ps2.ign.com/articles/738/738253p1.html

Too low-brow to attack achievement points?!?!

His blog post justifying the review was amusing if only for a fellow IGN staffer calling him out.

 

[A Human Becoming]

IGN MGS4.

Most reviewers seem incapable of giving a big game a bad score, that's the big difference between this and other media. Music magazines or film reviewers won't be afraid to take a shit on a new Coldplay album or a Transformers movie, but the gaming equivalents always get a 7+ despite their frequent shitness. If you think MGS4 deserves a perfect score there is something wrong with you. None of the big outlets know what the fuck they are talking about most of the time.

That review is also incredibly uninformative. I think they purposefully left it vague to get it out early.

Add another vote to IGN's GTAIV review too.

 

[NinjaBoiX]

IGN's Deadly Premonition review, no contest.

http://xbox360.ign.com/articles/107/1070909p1.html

Let me guess, review sucks becuase he doesn't pretend that the game is actually a classic, and people who don't realise this are idiots. "But GAF loves it! Everyone else are narrow-minded fools!". Read the review, he was spot on. The game is a complete trainwreck, and not even the "humour" could save it. Beyond bad, the worst boxed retail game I've played this Gen.
Opinions never really bother me, reviews are inherently subjective, but when a review gets aspects wrong, and critisises said game for these wrongly assessed aspects, that really annoys me.

 

[Mael]

It's been a while I didn't read a review so you'll excuse me with my outdated examples.
I'd like to submit the latest Madden Wii review on Ign, you basically learn nothing about the game except that you must buy the ps3 versio...really weird.

And that infamously bad review of Conduit 2 whose originator doesn't deserve another click which is basically someone from 2008 making a review about a system he hates while promoting his shitty work.

 

[Moofers]

Some of you guys are way too picky about your game reviews, or you just place too much importance on them altogether. I shake my head every time I see "this review reads like it was written by a 10-year old". Who cares? Do they get their point across? Do you have a basic understanding of what is good and bad at the end of the review? If yes, then mission accomplished.

I stopped reading game reviews somewhere in the last 1-2 years and haven't looked back. I mean who gives a shit? Most of them are hyperbole minefields anyway and half the fun of playing a new game is going into it without a lot of knowledge or any spoilers.

 

[Calcaneus]

I'll still defend Shoe's GoW review cause it always made sense to me what he was trying to say there. That the pros of his overall experience way outwieghed the cons. Maybe a ten is a bit much, but EGM ( where the review is from) always stressed that a 10 didn't mean perfect.

That image with just half the review makes it sound like it was just "this game is total shit 10/10".

 

[PetriP-TNT]

Gaming in the Clinton years!!!

 

[Riposte]

Some of you guys are way too picky about your game reviews, or you just place too much importance on them altogether. I shake my head every time I see "this review reads like it was written by a 10-year old". Who cares? Do they get their point across? Do you have a basic understanding of what is good and bad at the end of the review? If yes, then mission accomplished.

I stopped reading game reviews somewhere in the last 1-2 years and haven't looked back. I mean who gives a shit?

People in this thread.

His blog post justifying the review was amusing if only for a fellow IGN staffer calling him out.

This one?
http://www.ign.com/blogs/croper-ign/2006/10/11/im-an-asshole-because-god-hand-sucks

I'd really love to see him discuss Godhand more and more importantly his fellow staffer calling him out.

 

[Monty Mole]

And then:

You can always find reasons not to give a game a 10. But can the good stuff overwhelm the bad by such a wide margin in order to reach our highest rating possible?

And what follows is the reason why he gave his A+.

 

[fabricated backlash]

A recent one is Joystq's Conduit 2 review.

http://www.joystiq.com/2011/05/03/conduit-2-review/

The game is not a good game but saying:




I think they were going for comedic effect or something but it come off as mean spirited and unprofessional.

Also how did they think the ending was a negative? It is the highlight

I came here to post this one. truly a disgusting display of incompetence and lack of professional mindset.

 

[Mael]

I came here to post this one. truly a disgusting display of incompetence and lack of professional mindset.

Hey that's the one I was talking about, I even wonder how the guy got the job is that's the extent of his talent.

 

[Goldmund]

Has anyone ever read a Tim Rogers article in its entirety?

Yes, and I always enjoyed them. Give it a try.

 

[Mafro]

IGN's GTA4 and Football Manager reviews.

I second this. The GTAIV review was cringeworthy and the FM one was just plain ignorant and embarrassing.

 

[LiK]

I second this. The GTAIV review was cringeworthy and the FM one was just plain ignorant and embarrassing.

Indeed, how many pages was it?

 

[edotherocket]

So is Greg Miller still writing game reviews? Are all his articles of a similar calibre?

 

[Wolves Evolve]

IGN's review of SSX3 by Douglass C Perry (who is usually good):

Equally satisfying are the short load times. Perhaps the load times are normal, like 15-30 seconds, but I don't care. And I don't because most of them are genuinely short, while the long ones give me something to look at while waiting. A simple little scene of snow passes across the screen, while the informational load screen tells me exactly how fast the data is being loaded. The effect is that I feel like something is happening even though I'm doing nothing. Nice trick!

An otherwise okay review, but this paragraph... needed to be executed.

 

[Mafro]

Indeed, how many pages was it?

Seven!

 

[Mael]

Oh there's also that old Gamespot review of Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn where the guy complained about Mii support and other dumb shit

 

[DICKS AHOY]

Ctrl + F "Paper Mario" = 2 results. Well, my work here is already done.

Honestly, you're an appalling reviewer when you admit you're trying to 'guess' what other people will think instead of what your own personal thoughts were on the game. At least I'd of accepted that it was just a matter of opinion if they didn't like the game, but if they loved it so much, wouldn't giving it a low score be doing the game they liked so much a disservice?

It didn't help Paper Mario: TTYD is one of my favorite games of all time when I heard about that review, but it's still infuriatingly stupid.

EDIT: Do console-specific magazines like Nintendo Power or ONM count as 'professional'? Because the amount of times I've noticed reading through a younger cousin's copy or looking through my own backlog of NP's and seem some weirdass logic being applied to reviews such as Sonic and the Black Knight getting a good review while DKCR gets accused of stealing the concept of co-op from NSMBWii is also pretty grating, though there aren't too many reviews that standout.

Hell I remember something like I think DKC3 for the GBA (not an amazing game, but the reasons I think ONM gave for it being 'meh' read like it was written by a high-schooler) getting a low score because 'elephants getting scared by mice is gay, lol fat bitch (?)'. I think that was in a period though where a lot of Nintendo focused publications tried throwing in a ton of SWEAR WORDS OH MY to try and appear edgy while the GCN copped a lot of flak for seeming 'kiddy'.

 

[Riposte]

WALL OF SHAME

Chris Roper (IGN): GOD HAND (Partybabyz is better)
http://ps2.ign.com/articles/738/738253p1.html

Hilary Goldstein (IGN): Grand Theft Auto 4 (Oscar-worthy)
http://xbox360.ign.com/articles/869/869381p1.html

Jim Sterling (Destructoid): Vanquish (Too hard, formulaic, shitty controls!)
http://www.destructoid.com/review-vanquish-186214.phtml

Jim Sterling (Destructoid): Witcher 2 (Too hard, boring quests, leaves no lasting impression!)
http://www.destructoid.com/review-the-witcher-2-assassins-of-kings-201752.phtml

Greg Tito (The Escapist): Dragon Age II (What videogames should be, not like this)
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/reviews/8701-Dragon-Age-II-Review

Rich McCormick (PC Gamer): Dragon Age II (Best RPG combat, best storytelling)
http://www.pcgamer.com/2011/03/08/dragon-age-2-review/

Greg Miller (IGN): Dead Space 2 (Relatively good review for an 7 year old)
http://pc.ign.com/articles/114/1145332p1.html

??? (GameTrailers): STALKER Shadows of Chernobyl (Why can't I shoot all these stalkers?!)
http://www.gametrailers.com/video/review-s-t-a-l-k-e-r/18293

David Clayman/Hilary Goldstein (IGN): Jade Empire ("I believe David Clayman may have underrated Jade Empire at a 9.9")
http://xbox.ign.com/articles/602/602787p1.html

Justin McElroy (Joystiq): Nier (Red X too difficult, here is a non-review)
http://www.joystiq.com/2010/05/03/nier-review-fail/
Response thread: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=394455

1. Justin McElroy joins NeoGAF, asks that Joystiq be taken off the banned list.
2. Justin McElroy makes silly mistake, blames a game for it.
3. GAF calls Joystiq on this in the usual GAF fashion.
4. Justin McElroy admits silly mistake but still doesn't take any responsibility at all for making it, instead still blaming the game.
5. Joystiq makes a podcast where Justin still doesn't take responsibility for making a mistake, and makes constant shots at GAF for both calling him on it and enjoying Nier.

Incomplete Entry: ??? (Edge): Marvel vs Capcom 3
Lacks longevity, lacks depth, shallow fanservice game, not enough unlockables
(Would love some direct quotes)

??? (IGN): Football Manager 09
http://uk.pc.ign.com/articles/936/936295p1.html (The apology)

What sports fan doesn't want to take control of his favorite team and guide it to a championship, or, better yet, a long string of championships? Well, if it means playing Worldwide Soccer Manager, you can count me in that number.

Worldwide Soccer Manager 2009 gives gamers the chance to manage and coach 5,000 soccer teams from 50 countries around the globe, giving them the chance to manage every aspect of their team's roster, field questions from reporters at their team's press conferences, and coach their teams in real time as each simulated game unfolds. What it doesn't do, more importantly, is provide any compelling reason to keep "playing."

Although the game's database of more than 350,000 real-life soccer players is certainly impressive, only the most diehard fans of the sport would be able to appreciate having such a massive pool of talent to sift through, and the casual fan would almost certainly find the task overwhelming – I did.

The game's incredibly complex menu system is very difficult to navigate, even with the on-screen help box directing you through the process. In short, this game is extremely difficult to simply pick up and play. If you're unfamiliar with the franchise expect to spend a significant amount of time simply trying to figure out how to navigate the menus.

Worldwide Soccer Manager's presentation problems don't end there though, once you finally make it to your team's first game you'll find that the player renderings and animations are awful, and the stadiums you play in lack any kind of personality or detail. Each field is bordered by fences and what appear to be unfinished stands, which don't have any fans in them. And, when the ball is kicked off of the pitch, it passes smoothly through the surrounding fences, right through the stands, and disappears from view only to return to the field in the same fashion, appearing magically from the stands and passing through the fences (and goals) on its way back into play.

Then there's the sound, or lack thereof. There is no soundtrack that plays while you work in the game's menus, which you'll spend the vast majority of your time in this game doing. There is no audio narration to accompany your participation in press conferences, even though your options for how to respond to each question is incredibly limited. There is no audio commentary to accompany the action in the simulated game's you watch/coach. In fact, the only sound we found in the entire game was the tones of fans cheering as each simulated game played out – which only detracts from the game's feel of authenticity seeing as there are no fans rendered in the stands.

As far as traditional gameplay goes, there really isn't any in Worldwide Soccer Manager 2009. Apart from managing your roster and coaching your team, there really isn't anything to do at all. So, unless you really enjoy clicking on menu buttons, you'll find your interaction with this game extremely disappointing.

However, if you're a big footie fan and big fan of sports simulation, you'll be extremely impressed with the depth of Worldwide Soccer Manager, which allows you to control just about every facet of your team and draw from a player pool that is simply mindboggling.

Closing Comments
This game obviously aims to provide the deepest soccer simulation experience possible for the sport’s most passionate and informed fans, but it offers little to nothing that would appeal to a casual fan of the sport or to the average videogame enthusiast. The menus are complex and difficult to navigate, graphics are terrible, the sound is non-existent and there is no traditional gameplay to speak of. I couldn’t imagine why anybody would prefer Worldwide Soccer Manager to FIFA 09 or Pro Evolution Soccer 2009.

Final version, because I am tired and lazy.