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What Two Religions Tell Us About The Modern Dating Crisis (TIME)

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Just lie about a college degree, most people work in fields completely unrelated to their higher education.

LOL yeah, don't do this. it might work for a one night stand, but elaborate lies like this tend to fall apart under the scrutiny of a committed relationship- and it won't end well when she finds out you did.

It's not so much about the degree. You can have a degree and be a jobless loser. Good luck getting a GF, unless you in Brad Pitt territory regarding looks, but that's like .01 percent of dudes.

It's that degree related jobs are the ones that confer a bias to women who are similar educated.

also a good point. Keep in mind that those with degrees tend to hang around OTHER people with degrees as well- it's not just a money thing, but a socialization and cultural thing as well. I know plenty of tradespeople or those in law enforcement who lack degrees but have money- but try to have a conversation with them about anything outside of sports or local issues and it tends to go badly.
 

entremet

Member
LOL yeah, don't do this. it might work for a one night stand, but elaborate lies like this tend to fall apart under the scrutiny of a committed relationship- and it won't end well when she finds out you did.



also a good point. Keep in mind that those with degrees tend to hang around OTHER people with degrees as well- it's not just a money thing, but a socialization and cultural thing as well. I know plenty of tradespeople or those in law enforcement who lack degrees but have money- but try to have a conversation with them about anything outside of sports or local issues and it tends to go badly.

Yeah, the point of the article is not a sex shortage. Most women can get sex rather easily if they want to.

It's a mate shortage. LTRs and marriage. That's were the discrepancy is.

The reasons these two religions are used is because they're very conservative and both eschew sex outside of marriage and hookup culture--doesn't mean the adherents follow this 100 percent of course, but they do want marriage and family, and you can't have that with an Alpha player.
 

Assanova

Member
also a good point. Keep in mind that those with degrees tend to hang around OTHER people with degrees as well- it's not just a money thing, but a socialization and cultural thing as well. I know plenty of tradespeople or those in law enforcement who lack degrees but have money- but try to have a conversation with them about anything outside of sports or local issues and it tends to go badly.

Yep. I had two girls really into me who were both perfect in the looks department, but I could not bring myself to date them, due to their lack of a college education.
 
Yeah, the point of the article is not a sex shortage. Most women can get sex rather easily if they want to.

It's a mate shortage. LTRs and marriage. That's were the discrepancy is.

The reasons these two religions are used is because they're very conservative and both eschew sex outside of marriage and hookup culture--doesn't mean the adherents follow this 100 percent of course, but they do want marriage and family, and you can't have that with an Alpha player.

Agree completely with all of the above. Re: the bolded though, this is so incredibly obvious that it's crazy ANYONE thought there would be any women at all on Ashley Madison.

Yep. I had two girls really into me who were both perfect in the looks department, but I could not bring myself to date them, due to their lack of a college education.

We've all been there man. It's damn painful when you have to just cut off someone who is a 9/10 because she just can't hold a conversation for 10 minutes.
 
Yep. I had two girls really into me who were both perfect in the looks department, but I could not bring myself to date them, due to their lack of a college education.

This is a good example of educated people having less kids. Meanwhile the rest of us unwashed masses will out breed you and vote in Trump.
 

Mrmartel

Banned
I find it interesting that educated women or financially secure are less likely to marry "down" when it comes to finances/education. Men are much more likely to marry down. This is probably the biggest reason for the vast amount of single women who would like to get married. This also an issue that is only going to get worse as the ratio of women in college increases.

Ironic in a way because most of my tradesmen friends make way more money than the college educated ones.
 

entremet

Member
I find it interesting that educated women or financially secure are less likely to marry "down" when it comes to finances/education. Men are much more likely to marry down. This is probably the biggest reason for the vast amount of single women who would like to get married. This also an issue that is only going to get worse as the ratio of women in college increases.

Ironic in a way because most of my tradesmen friends make way more money than the college educated ones.

It's a highly observed preference.

The opposite does happen, of course and I guess there will need to be adjusting period because it's the traditional male dominated industries that will be affected by technology the most.
 

number47

Member
It's a highly observed preference.

The opposite does happen, of course and I guess there will need to be adjusting period because it's the traditional male dominated industries that will be affected by technology the most.
What's a highly observed preference?
 

johnsmith

remember me
WpmWbRl.jpg
 

genjiZERO

Member
The link has map where that shows specifically were the gender ratios are the most unbalanced.

If you're an educated dude, NYC is a great option.

SF, Silicon Valley is a bad option. More eligible men than women.

It even says the ratio for where I live is 2.6. That's pretty nuts. But seriously, I don't really see too many people in the dating field.
 

inner-G

Banned
I think that a lot of it has to do with distribution of wealth and the older generations living longer.

People want to hold off on marriage until they feel secure, and most people aren't on their feet financially until well after college.
 

params7

Banned
Men actually outnumber women in most cities in USA upto the age of 35.

So they're out there. They're just not qualified..
 

ag-my001

Member
My wife showed me this article a day or two ago. The education side has been discussed, but I was more interested in the orthodox part. You wouldn't think a small age gap would have much of an effect, but taken over time in a constantly growing population, it adds up to a wide gap.
 
I think that issue is likely compounded by the fact that men don't have the same standards. The college educated women are also competing with the un-educated for that same pool of 4.1 million men.
 
Even though this includes religion, anecdotally, this is my circle of friends as well, except for 2.

I think part of it, personally, is that women are just not willing to be some stereotype in the making. Being educated and having an educated man is now the dream (in simpler words) and it is singlehandedly what makes dating so hard. I know many women who go to college to find their future husband because they will technically be on the same level, but outside that... It's tragic. Leaving college unmarried or non-committed sometimes is not an option.

This is outside religion. I'm interested to see a similar study on the military.
 

entremet

Member
I think that issue is likely compounded by the fact that men don't have the same standards. The college educated women are also competing with the un-educated for that same pool of 4.1 million men.

Bingo Bango.

Look at trophy wives. They're not picked due to their degrees or education. Men will marry down in status, but up in looks.
 
Too many himbos, eh? ;)

I can't speak for those religions but I can speak for muslims especially in UK where women have to put a disclaimer that they're not educated past a bachelor degree or that they're unemployed. Which shows some men have standards, too. The housewife thing as an attractive quality is dead at least on marriage websites. A lot of them are career women, in early 30s, and even self identify as feminists. Or maybe that's what I go for in searches. I wouldn't marry an uneducated, unemployed person especially if a family is going to be a thing and I'd like someone I could talk to about politics, psychology, religion, geeky crap.
 

Principate

Saint Titanfall
Too many himbos, eh? ;)

I can't speak for those religions but I can speak for muslims especially in UK where women have to put a disclaimer that they're not educated past a bachelor degree or that they're unemployed. Which shows some men have standards, too. The housewife thing as an attractive quality is dead at least on marriage websites. A lot of them are career women, in early 30s, and even self identify as feminists. Or maybe that's what I go for in searches. I wouldn't marry an uneducated, unemployed person especially if a family is going to be a thing and I'd like someone I could talk to about politics, psychology, religion, geeky crap.

Pretty much looks only go so far and your spending the rest of your life with them if things go as planned, so why pick someone you don't respect intellectually.
 

Theandrin

Member
As a guy this applies to me. I'm more interested in meeting someone who is college educated with a career. If he isn't quite there yet I am understanding, but at the very least I want someone that is on that path.

While this might sound horrible, I want someone in my life that will help better my financial situation and able to contribute somewhat equally in household financials. I'm about to have my Master's degree so I don't think it is unreasonable to want to be with someone that at the very least has their Bachelor's.
 

ICKE

Banned
Pretty much looks only go so far and your spending the rest of your life with them if things go as planned, so why pick someone you don't respect intellectually.
.

The problem is when people assume that college education is some magic key to a higher intelligence.
 
What is troublesome is that there are some very intelligent people who don't have degrees, but well paying jobs. But for some reason, in the dating market that piece of paper pulls so much weight. It also depends on your major, and you're also expected to make more than the wife (if it goes that far) at some point.

At least I used to think that, but lately I've seen some very educated women fall for the unemployed, grungy, deadbeats and even have kids with them so honestly while studies are nice, every person will have a preference... or lack thereof.
 

genjiZERO

Member
Could be your preferences. Do you have ethnic preference?

Nope. But I don't date religious girls (unless they are Hindu because I find Hindu girls to be benign) or girls with tattoos (and everyone here has a tattoo ;.(

I can't say I don't go on dates though. Since I broke up with my last girlfriend in June I've been out with three different girls. But they were awful and I had no chemistry with them.
 

Assanova

Member
The problem is when people assume that college education is some magic key to a higher intelligence.

It's not, but it increases the probability of it. From my personal experiences, conversations with women without a college education center around reality TV and social drama and that's about it. Higher educated women talk about the same things, but they can also talk politics, religion, etc. and actually be somewhat competent. Of course this isn't always the case, but I will take my chances with a college woman over a high school graduate.

There is also the case of what happens if I lose my job or am out of work temporarily. Sure, times may be rough with a college wife, but with a woman who just has a high school education, we are probably talking about bankruptcy because it's not like she will be bringing any meaningful income into the house. These are things that you have to think about when choosing a wife or long term partner, especially when you are older and thinking about having kids.
 

Assanova

Member
What is troublesome is that there are some very intelligent people who don't have degrees, but well paying jobs. But for some reason, in the dating market that piece of paper pulls so much weight. It also depends on your major, and you're also expected to make more than the wife (if it goes that far) at some point.

At least I used to think that, but lately I've seen some very educated women fall for the unemployed, grungy, deadbeats and even have kids with them so honestly while studies are nice, every person will have a preference... or lack thereof.

This may be the case with the trades, but aren't those the jobs that go first when the economy goes to crap? Also, what happens if they lose that well-paying job? How easy will it be for them to find work making the same pay? I have seen people with just a high school education with a high paying job get fired and make half of what they were making once they found a new job.
 
This "crisis" assumes that only monogamous hetero relationships are possible/valid.
There are plenty of matches for these women, they're just not single/men.
 

entremet

Member
This "crisis" assumes that only monogamous hetero relationships are possible/valid.
There are plenty of matches for these women, they're just not single/men.

I mean if you're not into women and want a single man, what can you do lol.

Do you expect women to change sexual orientations? That's not realistic at all.
 

entremet

Member
Exactly? But society is telling them "doesn't matter who or what you like, you need a MAN to dedicate(=sacrifice) yourself to"

I think you're reading too much into it this.

These women want long term relationships with men they're attracted to.

Are you saying their attraction is completely socially constructed? Because that's false.
 

Condom

Member
Sucks for them I suppose.

Edit: Don't really understand women's (presumed) obsession with long term relationships, maybe that's the problem
 

Severance

Member
I don't have a college degree and I've dated women with a college degree. Its never once been an issue or even a topic of conversation. Then again it seems to me that most people with college degrees don't have a job that has anything to do with said degree. If anything issues arise from the fact that the women I've dated with degrees are stressed and burdened by their massive loans.
 

entremet

Member
Sucks for them I suppose.

Edit: Don't really understand women's (presumed) obsession with long term relationships, maybe that's the problem

There are few things:

Biological clocks. Unlike men, women, if they want children, can't live the Sex and The City lifestyle ad infinitum. If a man wants children, he can life a player lifestyle for a long time until he wants to settle down.

And the more educated the women the higher the rate of having a child within wedlock.

Also, most people want long term relationships. Men too. More men remarry after divorce than women.

You're letting your demographic, which is probably young straight male, blind you to others preferences.
 

IISANDERII

Member
‘Top boys go for $100,000 a year, but we also have boys for $70,000 a year and even $50,000 a year.’ He said that if I was ready to make the commitment, he could begin making recommendations immediately.”
The Orthodox Union’s executive vice president, Rabbi Steven Weil, told me he believed a backlash to the increasingly outlandish dowries was brewing. “You don’t marry for money,” Weil said. “This is not our religion.”


It is now muthafucka!

tumblr_mslx9kWDn11rkumvuo1_400.gif
 

Jeff-DSA

Member
Guys, I work in Salt Lake City. In my office, there are 106 current employees. Five of us are men, the rest are women. It's a weird, crazy, magical place.
 

LosDaddie

Banned
The Diane Rheme show (NPR) did an hour long discussion on this very topic recently.

Worth a listen if you found this article interesting.
 

genjiZERO

Member
Sucks for them I suppose.

Edit: Don't really understand women's (presumed) obsession with long term relationships, maybe that's the problem

I actually find men want more long-term relationships than women. Unless they're 32 then the question becomes "so you want to get married next year?"
 

Condom

Member
There are few things:

Biological clocks. Unlike men, women, if they want children, can't live the Sex and The City lifestyle ad infinitum. If a man wants children, he can life a player lifestyle for a long time until he wants to settle down.

And the more educated the women the higher the rate of having a child within wedlock.

Also, most people want long term relationships. Men too. More men remarry after divorce than women.

You're letting your demographic, which is probably young straight male, blind you to others preferences.
22-29, not the time for long term relationships. They are throwing their life away IMO. We are getting older, we should get children when we are older.

Women can still get children up until 40 or so.

The best solution would be women accepting that men should not be the biggest earner anymore. No woman wants to work while having her man at home, this should change.
 

entremet

Member
I actually find men want more long-term relationships than women. Unless they're 32 then the question becomes "so you want to get married next year?"

That's correct.

Men also struggle post divorce since many put their relational eggs in one basket, being their wives.

Women tend to be more resilient post divorce. Men also remarry much more quickly and at greater rates than women post divorce.

Hookup culture can be fun when you're young, but not everyone wants to deal with that forever.

22-29, not the time for long term relationships. They are throwing their life away IMO. We are getting older, we should get children when we are older.

Women can still get children up until 40 or so.

The best solution would be women accepting that men should not be the biggest earner anymore. No woman wants to work while having her man at home, this should change.

You're are sorely mistaken about having kids up until 40. Maybe with IVF, but natural fertility plunges for many women at around 35, not to mention higher incidence of birth defects.

Also, who are you to say that people are wasting their lives? If people want to marry young, let them marry young.
 
girls and women outnumber boys and men 5x across all levels of education- From elementary all the way up to college.
Boys are the losers in all of this as they struggle to fit in. They also have an unusually higher chance of being diagnosed with ADHD- And tons of different studies and articles blames everything from soy products to ipads.
I've worked in a day-care were boys were systematically disfavored by the staff. When resources, time and planning is sparse, telling the girls to go out and play- and be quiet, is much easier than with the boys. They are louder, wilder, less socially mature and some of them come from homes with parents (particularly the single mothered ones) where they are not getting any guidelines, and this equips them poorly for school, working hard and getting a good life.
They live for sport, games and play, and school is just a defeatist place. Weirdly enough, bullying those boys who are smart is still a thing. boys who bully can make their mark and become the cool kid by being good at sports, and shut the others out.


Not everyone wants to go to college. Not everyone has a learning style that is suited for that. Some people want to do other things, and they are being disproportionally called "lesser", "a red flag" and other things to make them feel inferior. I know several people who went to trade school, and it's a struggle. If you have a physical blue-collar job, many will see you as dumb, unintelligent and not worthy of premium-cock as Oprah says everyone deserves.
 

Cels

Member
a dearth of "eligible" bachelors (at least for these insular religious communities) is an externality resulting from american efforts to push women into universities, leading to a surplus of college-educated women who do not want to marry down.

but apparently this shortage does not exist in the hasidic community, because men from that community marry women their same age (?) no real evidence for that conclusion though.
 
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