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[Revoh]

"Is that the perfume you bought last week? Come here....gud smel... wow...such scent. "

 

[Papercuts]

I tried my best.

holy shit, amazing.

 

[blame space]

excuse me?

 

[pulsemyne]

Reminds me of this -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUzZD9NA90I

OP needs to be read with an Alan Partridge voice LOL

If I'm able to get a microphone I can do it....

 

[Dom Brunt]

I tried my best.

Well there were definitely tears in my eyes by the end, good job!

 

[spiderman123]

My dick has it's own routine....i'm along for the ride.

 

[Lamel]

Whenever we have free time.

 

[-tetsuo-]

Best post ever.

 

[Exr]

I tried my best.

I didn't need sleep tonight anyways

 

[Capital_Five]

Lately we will hang out and go do an activity like watch a movie or have drinks and then later we will go back to her apartment and then sometimes watch Arrested Development in the bed and then when we are tired we shut it off and then we have sex.

That's my routine. I usually don't do any of that weird stuff.

 

[blame space]

(we do the weird stuff)

 

[Koodo]

I tried my best.

I'm tearing up my larynx SCREAMING.

 

[FindMyFarms]

I don't think I'v ever actually put on music to have sex. If it's already on then cool but I never make the decision to put it on.

If you have roommates and a self conscious girlfriend its a necessity.

 

[Loona]

And then anal.

 

[gamma]

What's your sex routine?

o_o

Been thinking about sex all day and I got to thinking.. I wonder how other people initiate/end sex? You can only ever see what you do right? How do you change the mood from hanging out to horny? How do you get her to the point where she opens up and lets you dive in? At what point does he get turned on by you enough and decide to lay you down? And at the end how do y'all keep your stuff clean?

I know it shouldn't be the identical all the time but everyone has patterns that work. Here's my routine

Ignoring whats happened in the past couple minutes or hours or whatever, whenever I want to change the mood I begin to take long pauses in between her comments and questions. In between comments so she wonders what I'm thinking and in between questions so she starts to make more eye contact while waiting for a response.

I'll be sure to strengthen bass in my voice a bit more than usual, and I'll slow down my responses a bit..it feels like the rumble of bass echoes into her.

I'll start to speak more forcefully, personally, and interact more directly. For example, should she ask, "you know what I wanted earlier today?" my response isn't, "what?" My response is (remembering to pause for 1/2 - 1.5 seconds) "tell me what you wanted" with direct eye contact and stroking the bass.

Once I notice that she is having trouble continuing normal conversations (not stuttering, but its clear that I'm inside her mind is she is thinking about it-this is plain and obvious) I'll figure out some compliment to bring her my way. "Is that the perfume you bought last week? Come here....gud smel... wow...such scent. "

/touching /kissing /eye contact /seduction

Put on music and I always dive in first. only because women take so much more more to get ready. Theres no routine during however.

I'm really curious about the end. I always have some sort of improvised cumrag around for when I'm ready. I haven't been lucky enough to be with many women who want it on their body, but I've also been lucky enough to be in longer relationships so I always came inside. but it has to come back out and I hate it on my bed. So I just put her on a towel I had nearby or t shirt or blanket or whatever and let it drip onto that. What do other people do? I feel like its weird to do what I do here. You all just let it flow out and then change your sheets? still stains the mattress that way..

this all goes out the window after 7 shots sadly

How do you put in work?

0_0

I tried my best.

O_O

 

[Man]

Sex is engaged either by me closing in on my gf and snuggling her neck, making a kiss etc.
Or my gf engages it by stretching out like a cat on the couch etc fully knowing the after effect.

 

[blame space]

are all Man posts in-character?

 

[sleeping_dragon]

it always start with the fingers...

 

[Man]

I tried my best.

*applauds*

 

[lobdale]

It is 1920, I warm her up with my shaving belt. When the lumps come out she's ready for my instrument. I scratch at my glans with a stiff branch I snapped off the cedar tree until I can't feel pleasure anymore. I slam my slick item into her dinner roll until the feeling comes. I empty my paste into her armpit hair. I have prepared hardtack for the trip, it will take me three days to the next town.

 

[Judderman]

I tried my best.

Oh my goodness.

 

[Mr.Squirrel]

Great thread lol

 

[ledman]

I tried my best.

The avatar, the background sound, perfect.

 

[Cosmic Bus]

Good work. I made an interpretation too that I was just able to upload.

My throat hurts. (1.1 and a half seconds)

I am dying at 1:55 - 2:15.

 

[Entropia]

I tried my best.

100/10.

Amazing.

 

[Minus_Me]

I tried my best.

I'm trying to sync this to some Blade runner clips. Kudos cause that's hilarious.

 

[esai]

Routine?

When it becomes routine, you're doing it wrong.

sadly, this is where im at right now.

 

[IamMattFox]

My throat hurts. (1.1 and a half seconds)

I am dying at 1:55 - 2:15.

I'm glad at least one person caught my post.

And yeah, when I had to do my own version when I thought of that portion of the OP's post. I was channeling my inner Jeff Gerstmann for my fellow Giant Bomb fans.


Just looked at the page. 42 plays. Feeling pretty proud, you guys.

 

[Yoshichan]

I tried my best.

ahahahahaha

 

[Maximilian E.]

Mine is more like..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=XdygBlaqVZI#t=113s

 

[MagicWithEarvin]

I tried my best.

Wtf hahahaha

 

[GTI Guy]

 

[IHaveIce]

I tried my best.

Holy shit. Just got linked to this and this is amazing :lol

Good work. I made an interpretation too that I was just able to upload.

My throat hurts. (1.1 and a half seconds)

ahahah this is also amazing

 

[Linius]

I tried my best.

Duuuuude :lol

 

[crazy_about_denise]

There's no such thing as routine, it's careful observation.

Oh and I'm deaf now btw. Thanks.

 

[Android18a]

>Get home from work
>Partner not in the main room
>Check bedroom
>Partner on bed with bondage gear waiting

Thats usually how it starts

 

[mariachi507]

I tried my best.

This is more than amazing. I laughed for a good ten minutes over it.

 

[scar tissue]

1. Masturbate
2. Cry to sleep

 

[Tesseract]

I tried my best.

hahaha

 

[Screaming Meat]

Sex, huh? Sounds awful.

 

[Pinko Marx]

i open a new incognito window and see where the evening takes me.

I laugh because its true.

 

[Indrid Cold1]

Come here....gud smel... wow...such scent. "

Sounds like Roscoe Siffredi talking about someone's butthole.

 

[Mdeezy]

Foreplay then fucking.

This mainly.
My girl initiates it a little more than I do.

 

[Simon Belmont]

I look at my wife and say "we should do it", and then we do.

 

[shanshan310]

Well this thread really went places.

I'm really curious about the end. I always have some sort of improvised cumrag around for when I'm ready. I haven't been lucky enough to be with many women who want it on their body, but I've also been lucky enough to be in longer relationships so I always came inside. but it has to come back out and I hate it on my bed. So I just put her on a towel I had nearby or t shirt or blanket or whatever and let it drip onto that. What do other people do? I feel like its weird to do what I do here. You all just let it flow out and then change your sheets? still stains the mattress that way..

I'm kind of curious about this too. The clean up is always a little bit mood ruining, it would be great to go straight from sex to snuggles.

 

[Servbot24]

I've also been lucky enough to be in longer relationships so I always came inside. but it has to come back out and I hate it on my bed.

wait, did my sex ed fail me, or am i reading this wrong. how would it come back out :<

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

#Swallow

 

[gamma]

wait, did my sex ed fail me, or am i reading this wrong. how would it come back out :<

 

[shanshan310]

#Swallow

Gagging is possibly the least romantic of all the finishes.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Gagging is possibly the least romantic of all the finishes.

It all depends on the eyes.