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[cartographer]

That is what I feel, as an average looking guy I will probably never be able to date because I'm not a 10 in the eyes of women. And there are tons of women in every dating site and increadible little success at Getting a reply or they visit my profile

Never be able to date? Unlikely, unless you expect women to lower their personal standards while you keep yours high.

There's tons of average people out there dating or married to other people. There's also tons of average people out there who won't give a potential partner the time of day if they are of a similar level of attractiveness.

 

[lightskintwin]

That is what I feel, as an average looking guy I will probably never be able to date because I'm not a 10 in the eyes of women. And there are tons of women in every dating site and increadible little success at Getting a reply or they visit my profile

Online dating isn't for everybody. It's incredibly slanted to how people judge your looks in your pictures. Do you go out to try to meet people? Outgoing, interesting, fun, assertive personality types in those type of settings can overcompensate for the limitations of the physical that only a photo can provide.

 

[Two Words]

In order for this to be a real study, he would have to use an unattractive person as a control group saying the same thing, make sure there is not selective bias of the type of people that use Tinder, and show all of his results. This just shows that some women are open to hooking up with a hot guy, assuming it isn't fake. It shouldn't shock anybody that being much more attractive will net you better results in trying to hook up. But that doesn't mean women typically don't mind that kind of stuff from hot guys in general.

 

[Rumblebones]

This isn't anything new, and this shallow quality doesn't just apply to women, BUT... society does way more to stigmatise men that are considered creepy or awkward or both than women. I wouldn't exactly rank it high on the list of societal inequities, but this is prevalent and unfair nonetheless.

 

[Mr Swine]

How is your fitness and style?

No need to be defeatist. You can work on this.

I train 5 days a week and style it's just regular jeans and tshirt.

Never be able to date? Unlikely, unless you expect women to lower their personal standards while you keep yours high.

There's tons of average people out there dating or married to other people. There's also tons of average people out there who won't give a potential partner the time of day if they are of a similar level of attractiveness.

I don't even have high personal standards and I'm lowering it all the time and still nothing. I have a friend who is a train nerd and Doesn't really take good care of himself and he has had like 10 dates.

Online dating isn't for everybody. It's incredibly slanted to how people judge your looks in your pictures. Do you go out to try to meet people? Outgoing, interesting, fun, assertive personality types in those type of settings can overcompensate for the limitations of the physical that only a photo can provide.

There are only 2 bars here and everyone is drunk every Friday, Saturday and Wednesday. Been out there a couple of times and it's no fun.

 

[Count Dookkake]

The thread needs a flood warning for all the tears.

 

[entremet]

This isn't anything new, and this shallow quality doesn't just apply to women, BUT... society does way more to stigmatise men that are considered creepy or awkward or both than women. I wouldn't exactly rank it high on the list of societal inequities, but this is prevalent and unfair nonetheless.

I don't know if men are stigmatized per se, it's just that men as initiators is still the preferred dating behavior in heterosexual couplings.

Does it mean that women don't initiate? Of course they do. It's just not as common. But the most common heterosexual dating dynamic is men pursue and while women accept or reject.

Which is why I laugh at dudes lamenting why women don't pursue them because we're in a more liberated society. Stop complaining and just put yourself out there.

 

[jtb]

This isn't news.

The entire point of Tinder is to literally judge people on their physical attractiveness. They may well know he's creepy AF. They just don't care. The app isn't about finding someone to marry. It's about finding someone to fuck.

 

[Lord of Ostia]

This is so asinine, yes if you make a profile with an extremely attractive dude's pictures then women will be more likely to respond favorably to it. The same would apply to using an attractive woman's photos and talking to men. We are all people, we all want to bone, and we all want to bone the most attractive people possible. Especially on Tinder, where a lot of people are at least open to the idea of a casual hookup. This reeks of slutshaming to me tbh.

 

[BlazinSkatinAxel]

These were my favourites:

The spirit of forgiveness is strong in these girls.

The psychology of persuasion. This is what we call contrast.

Go to the extreme and scale it back.

 

[Shadowhelper]

Looks are important. I've long known, the better looking you are, the more shit you can get away with. It's weird. It plays into how much someone likes you, its not just looks, although that is a huge thing.

On online dating, race, religion and money also make a huge difference. For instance, a similar jewish friend versus a similar muslim friend, on tinder have very different outcomes.

But yes, as someone whose weight as fluctuated always, and looks corresponding to that, it astonishes me at some of the things I've gotten away with, when I am thinner and skinnier.

I say this after drinking three beers and eating a burger. Having a gf is disastorous for my weight, but whatever. Perhaps gonna end that, and likely be alone, but maybe not.

 

[entremet]

I train 5 days a week and style it's just regular jeans and tshirt.



I don't even have high personal standards and I'm lowering it all the time and still nothing. I have a friend who is a train nerd and Doesn't really take good care of himself and he has had like 10 dates.



There are only 2 bars here and everyone is drunk every Friday, Saturday and Wednesday. Been out there a couple of times and it's no fun.

When I meant fitness, I meant your level of fitness. Are you in shape?

For style, are your clothes fitted at least? Or are they a baggy mess?

Are you smiling or smirking in your pictures?

 

[lightskintwin]

I don't know if men are stigmatized per se, it's just that men as initiators is still the preferred dating behavior in heterosexual couplings.

Does it mean that women don't initiate? Of course they do. It's just not as common. But the most common heterosexual dating dynamic is men pursue and while women accept or reject.

Which is why I laugh at dudes lamenting why women don't pursue them. Stop complaining and just put yourself out there.

Yeah, I think that's why if a really attractive women starts pursuing me hard, I subconsciously think that something's wrong with her. LOL

 

[entremet]

Yeah, I think that's why if a really attractive women starts pursuing me hard, I subconsciously think that something's wrong with her. LOL

I had that happen to me recently. Very attractive woman too, but it was a turn off.

Strange lol.

I guess I prefer doing the initiating. I'm more used to that dynamic. And I shrug off rejections these days.

 

[Schweinehund]

haha, I thought this was common knowledge. Shit goes both ways.

 

[cartographer]

I don't even have high personal standards and I'm lowering it all the time and still nothing. I have a friend who is a train nerd and Doesn't really take good care of himself and he has had like 10 dates.

If that's the case, then the issue likely isn't how attractive you are. See: all the other average or below average people that are dating or in a relationship. Most people aren't 10s, yet the human race goes on. There's nothing inherently preventing an average looking person from ever dating Just because they are average looking.

It could be your confidence. It could be how you are socially. It could be a lack of experience. It could be having a defeatist outlook. But it probably isn't because you're average looking.

 

[Aselith]

That is what I feel, as an average looking guy I will probably never be able to date because I'm not a 10 in the eyes of women. And there are tons of women in every dating site and increadible little success at Getting a reply or they visit my profile

Show us your profile and we'll help you pimp it out

 

[Two Words]

Which is why I laugh at dudes lamenting why women don't pursue them because we're in a more liberated society. Stop complaining and just put yourself out there.

Why is that something to laugh at? Women should be encouraged to initiate interest if they are interested. Give both sides equal agency in who they date.

 

[uncredited male]

Sex? [Speech 70]
Coffee? [Speech 30]

 

[entremet]

Why is that something to laugh at? Women should be encouraged to initiate interest if they are interested. Give both sides equal agency in who they date.

Women do, it's just not a overt as men are.

And with online is much easier too.

You may get a nice glance across the bar, but rarely will a woman come up to you. Sure it does happen, but compare the opposite, more common scenario of a man going over to woman's location at a bar, club, etc.

I'm just saying that overall behavior is still men pursue, women accept or reject.

Instead of complaining about the behavior, adjust to fit the behavior. Most guys lamenting that are usually afraid of approaching due to fear of rejection.

If you want to stay single for life because you expect the common behavior of a sex to change overnight, go ahead.

 

[Mr Swine]

When I meant fitness, I meant your level of fitness. Are you in shape?

For style, are your clothes fitted at least? Or are they a baggy mess?

Are you smiling or smirking in your pictures?

Yes I'm in shape, lost nearly 14kg 2 years ago (68kg from 82kg) and my clothes fit well.

And I smile plenty on my pictures

If that's the case, then the issue likely isn't how attractive you are. See: all the other average or below average people that are dating or in a relationship. Most people aren't 10s, yet the human race goes on. There's nothing inherently preventing an average looking person from ever dating Just because they are average looking.

It could be your confidence. It could be how you are socially. It could be a lack of experience. It could be having a defeatist outlook. But it probably isn't because you're average looking.

I guess it's my confidence since I was bullied for more than half my life and had a father that put me down nearly all the time

Show us your profile and we'll help you pimp it out

A bit hard when it's in Swedish.

Oh well I should ask again for advice in the dating page on gaf

 

[Astral Dog]

Well Shocking News!

Spoiler

it would totally make my day too if a hot guy randomlly said he wanted to sex me 😢

 

[Two Words]

Women do, it's just not a overt as men are.

And with online is much easier too.

You may get a nice glance across the bar, but rarely will a woman come up to you. Sure it does happen, but compare the opposite, more common scenario of a man going over to woman's location at a bar, club, etc.

I'm just saying that overall behavior is still men pursue, women accept or reject.

Instead of complaining about the behavior, adjust to fit the behavior.

But why not encourage women to participate equally if they are interested? A woman giving a glance isn't equal agency. That's her giving a subtle sign and hoping the guy acts on it. Our society has groomed women to wait for a man to pursue her and groomed men to pursue women. This imbalance is unhealthy because it forces women to be spammed and deal with that mess and forces men to spam women. Saying "stop complaining" is silly. People should encourage a different social environment where women don't have to just sit and wait and give a look. The posts above are true that men will often be suspect about a woman that initiates, which sucks.

 

[lightskintwin]

I had that happen to me recently. Very attractive woman too, but it was a turn off.

Strange lol.

I guess I prefer doing the initiating. I'm more used to that dynamic.

It's just in general in my observations really attractive women are used to really attractive, attractive, to unattractive men pursuing them, so they generally don't feel comfortable even pursuing a guy hard. Like I get why mildly attractive, average, to below average women might do it.

It isn't a turn off for me, it's just weird. Just like a really attractive woman who thinks I'm FINE, that feels incredibly weird and I usually joke that you must be sheltered. LOL I'm self aware enough to know that I'm above average looking but nowhere near fine, despite me joking that I am.

Why is that something to laugh at? Women should be encouraged to initiate interest if they are interested. Give both sides equal agency in who they date.

IMO Women do it all the time, but by flirting and often times it's still going to be primarily based on how attractive she finds his overall look. It's amazing to me how many men don't know how to read a woman's body language.

 

[Staf]

Surprise! Women are shallow!

Spoilers:

Spoiler

So are men.

 

[Two Words]

It's just in general in my observations really attractive women are used to really attractive, attractive, to unattractive men pursuing them, so they generally don't feel comfortable even pursuing a guy hard. Like I get why mildly attractive, average, to below average women might do it.

It isn't a turn off for me, it's just weird. Just like a really attractive woman who thinks I'm FINE, that feels incredibly weird and I usually joke that you must be sheltered. LOL I'm self aware enough to know that I'm above average looking but nowhere near fine, despite me joking that I am.



IMO Women do it all the time, but by flirting and often times it's still going to be primarily based on how attractive she finds his overall look. It's amazing to me how many men don't know how to read a woman's body language.

Giving a sign or flirting isn't equal agency.

 

[Puck Beaverton]

I'm shocked

Spoiler

and triggered

 

[Leeness]

But you're also a proud self proclaimed asexual person, I don't think you represent most (even the 1% of) women on Tinder.

Mm, even when I hadn't identified myself and was actively trying to date, getting messages like that was incredibly disturbing.

 

[entremet]

Giving a sign or flirting isn't equal agency.

So you want a whole gender to adopt the same mating behavior as another one en masse?

Good luck.

 

[lightskintwin]

Giving a sign or flirting isn't equal agency.

You're talking centuries of societal conditioning men courting women though. Which is why some men have used all that data to their advantage, in order to increase their chances and becoming "ladies men" or "pickup artists". Just like women have used all that data to their advantage as well, in order to increase their chances of being "courted".

 

[Turbowaffles]

It's funny, serious guy

Moreover, everyone can improve their appearance. Fat loss, style, etc. If you're not getting your dating goals met, maybe address that.

You can't improve an ugly face, going bald, being short, crooked teeth(well you can, but it costs a lot of money)

That's why I'm screwed.

 

[Two Words]

So you want a whole gender to adopt the same mating behavior as another one en masse?

Good luck.

I'm saying we shouldn't laugh at the argument that change should happen or tell them to stop complaining. I expect there to be some immediate change overnight. I'm saying we should encourage more change wherever possible.

 

[johancruijff]

I'm more shocked by the fact that nobody recognized the guy giving how fucking famous was the videoclip

 

[entremet]

I'm saying we shouldn't laugh at the argument that change should happen or tell them to stop complaining. I expect there to be some immediate change overnight. I'm saying we should encourage more change wherever possible.

I guess I look it at this way.

Why should I, as a man, be telling women what to do?

Kinda presumptuous.

 

[Hella Lugosi]

The messages don't seem that creepy honestly, especially considering it's basically grindr for straight people.

Plus the fact that his opening line is offering to go down on them, and his tone comes across as more playful than anything. Who doesn't enjoy some no-strings attached oral?

 

[Aselith]

Mm, even when I hadn't identified myself and was actively trying to date, getting messages like that was incredibly disturbing.

Do you think that is because you were asexual and not comfortable with sexual stuff though? I mean just because you hadn't self identified yet doesn't mean your feelings were different, right?

 

[CrimsonSquall]

This stereotype needs to end.

It's true tho. Friends a model and we made him a tinder 2yrs ago as a joke with his permission and holy shit. I remember us saying "bitch what would u do to me if u had me for 30m?" Incoming 2paragraph incredible detail about seducing him and slurping his cock. We had to stop after one day (40 matches in 1day btw) bc too many girls were sending him nudes and that was fucked up

If you're a 6'2 white man hit the gym hard man. Got life on easy mode

 

[Echelon079]

Both of you from the US? If so what area?

Northern Ohio

 

[Violet_0]

this is also the reason why I never get banned

 

[eizarus]

Fuck it, I'm getting plastic surgery to look like that dude.

 

[Puck Beaverton]

Fuck it, I'm getting plastic surgery to look like that dude.

You're going to look like the failed clone of him.

Do it.

 

[blame space]

Sex? [Speech 70]
Coffee? [Speech 30]

Jesus Christ

 

[Zombie James]

The psychology of persuasion. This is what we call contrast.

Go to the extreme and scale it back.

Persuasion? He said two words and a symbol.

 

[CrimsonSquall]

You can't improve an ugly face, going bald, being short, crooked teeth(well you can, but it costs a lot of money)

That's why I'm screwed.

You're only truly fucked with the short shit. Heightism is real in these skreets. But teeth u can fix and going bald can be too albeit yes both incredibly expensive.

There are things u can do rn tho. You can build an incredible body and that makes up a difference for a decent amount. I doubt you're truly ugly but which would u rather be, an ugly man w/ugly body or ugly man w/ a hot body?

 

[Vermillion]

Who goes on tinder not being interested in hooking up

You would be surprised.

 

[blame space]

https://vimeo.com/98815503

 

[MsKrisp]

It's true tho. Friends a model and we made him a tinder 2yrs ago as a joke with his permission and holy shit. I remember us saying "bitch what would u do to me if u had me for 30m?" Incoming 2paragraph incredible detail about seducing him and slurping his cock. We had to stop after one day (40 matches in 1day btw) bc too many girls were sending him nudes and that was fucked up

If you're a 6'2 white man hit the gym hard man. Got life on easy mode

So you're saying because lots of women can be slutty for a hot guy that was an asshole to them, that means all women forgive creepiness if the guy is attractive enough? Fuck outta here with those generalizations. This kinda shit is why I'm reluctant to do what I want and have NSA sex with guys as I please, because they might be like "man this bitch was just ready to go, women are fucking whores"

 

[LookAtMeGo]

My buddy wasnt having much luck on Tinder at all and then he changed his profile description from stuff he likes to do to something along the lines of

"I'm always hungry or horny so either fuck me or make me a sandwich"

Or something close to that anyway. His match success rate increased tenfold.

 

[cartographer]

You can't improve an ugly face, going bald, being short, crooked teeth(well you can, but it costs a lot of money)

That's why I'm screwed.

There's probably a ton of people out there much uglier than you dating or in relationships. But if you approach it as "I'm screwed," then your chances are going to be much lower.

 

[blame space]

what are attractive things ugly people can do?