Vermillion
Banned
@shan: So then people will aim for people on the same level of attractiveness.
Of course, I'm just saying your going to have many roadblocks and disappointed if you like someone that's much more attractive. You click with them, but you realize that it's not going to happen. It's just being realistic.
@shan: So then people will aim for people on the same level of attractiveness.
This is so fucking stupid.
Yes looking good is something girls like. Being rich too. And all that stuff.
But it doesn't mean girls are LOOKING for this, not any more than I am looking for the girl with the small waist, big round ass, black hair and caramel skin.
There's what you dream of, and there's what you actually get to enjoy. Girls are, in general, not dumb enough to pass on being with someone they enjoy being with just to keep dreaming.
Yes, they are. Same for guys. Especially younger ones.
I'm glad you all can be so optimistic, I just think that there are people who realize that they can't be with someone they want to be with because of how they look compared to that person, so they could settle for someone else or whatever, but the fact is that looks did stop that relationship from happening.
There are people who can't be with someone they'd like to be for all sorts of reasons. I'd like to bang Amber Rose. Never gonna happen. No big deal. Doesn't mean I'll pass on other girls.
Girls are far pickier about bodies than faces; I've seen guys who look like indignant trolls still get action because they had at least somewhat fit bodies.I wasn't actually talking body wise, but more face wise.
Izick and I are good in the body department...
Why not have a first date that doesn't involve drinking? It shouldn't be a buzz-kill that she wants to be home by 1. When I think first date, I think meeting a girl over coffee. Getting lost in conversation, flirting, tension. It doesn't have to be too long. It should leave them wanting more, and then you know you're compatible, and you can do something a bit bigger for the second date. Maybe a dinner with a drink at the end or going for a walk after dinner.
And, why do you say "the fucking place was closed!"? If you're on a date and you bring the girl to a restaurant that's closed, and you get angry or annoyed by it, it won't give a good impression. You should be spontaneous and playful, which would imply "snap! They're closed! I was certain they'd be open. Oh, well, my bad - let's go find some other place " and then you do something random and it turns out to be a magical evening anyway. I certainly wouldn't go out with someone that's upset about such a small thing and can't go with the flow. Don't be rigid. Figure out something new.
This whole discussion is irrelevant anyway and is just being used as an excuse. Looks matter, there is no question about it but that isn't the reason that JokerOfSpades and Danj are having any problems (especially jokerofspades as he is a pretty decent looking dude).
It's silly to focus on such a superficial issue when there are much bigger things to deal with (like a complete lack of confidence which is probably the most limiting factor when trying to meet women).
This is so fucking stupid.
Yes looking good is something girls like. Being rich too. And all that stuff.
But it doesn't mean girls are LOOKING for this, not any more than I am looking for the girl with the small waist, big round ass, black hair and caramel skin.
There's what you dream of, and there's what you actually get to enjoy. Girls are, in general, not dumb enough to pass on being with someone they enjoy being with just to keep dreaming.
No one should have to explain this more than that. People here are wasting other people's time if they keep bringing this up or trying to make this more complicated than it is.
Not all of them.
I don't think I'm ugly, not attractive either, though. I don't trust guys's judgments on looks. They're usually wrong. Unless they're me. I can tell, but I'm comfortable with my sexuality.
Yup. Money doesn't matter to me at all. If its not mine, I'm not spending it, so who cares. Its nice to have things bought for you for sure, but it has nothing to do with their attractiveness. Then again, I'm still a student. I don't speak for all women, but I do speak for some of them.
It's like saying all guys just wanna bang their girl. It's extremely sexist thinking. I just want to be loved, dammit. D:
"If you have male friends they're only really friends with you cause they wanna bang you". lol.
"If you have male friends they're only really friends with you cause they wanna bang you". lol.
"If you have male friends they're only really friends with you cause they wanna bang you". lol.
I wonder if this is a viewpoint created by people who themselves aren't getting much/any sex, because it represents their feelings on the matter?
Because you don't need to be dwelling on that aspect of yourself. Make it a non-issue and just forget about it.I just don't get how thinking you're unattractive, if you matter-of-factly are is an "excuse." It seems like a pretty logical, material reason that you may be unsuccessful with women or men.
If you are truly are as ugly as you're making yourself out to be there's always plastic surgery.And yes, I get it. I understand that people can better themselves in almost any way, but I feel like you're hitting a low ceiling some point in terms of attractiveness overall if you don't, well look attractive in the first place.
I've mentioned this before, but there so many robotic, logical posters here who reason themselves into being unattractive or unliked. Emotions and hope have no place here since people do not come up to me and say "how do you do?" What if everyone thought like that?
Attractiveness makes no sense in the end. Yes, there are people in the world who you can say that they really are beautiful, but ultimately it all falls down to personal preference, and guess what: girls have individual tastes! Not all girls are alike! Saying that 'all girls' find someone unattractive is such a dumb thing to say. The low ceiling for attractiveness is way lower than some of the people here seem to think.I just don't get how thinking you're unattractive, if you matter-of-factly are is an "excuse." It seems like a pretty logical, material reason that you may be unsuccessful with women or men.
And yes, I get it. I understand that people can better themselves in almost any way, but I feel like you're hitting a low ceiling some point in terms of attractiveness overall if you don't, well look attractive in the first place.
The point I was trying to get across is that not all guys enter a relationship just for sex. I wasn't even thinking of platonic friendships when I wrote my last post.
Also I'm getting tired of the "you live in a fantasy" retort for the people who actually have experience or see non-adonises getting women. Keep making excuses for yourselves and lashing out at the posters, even women, who tell you being an interesting person is more important and see how fucking far that gets you. It's such a god damn self-fulfilling prophecy with some folks.
These days I don't post very much in this thread for this very reason. It becomes exhausting.
I fully accept that the advice myself/others give is not one-size-fits-all, but those coming for help should do their best to pull out tidbits that apply to them.
These days I don't post very much in this thread for this very reason. It becomes exhausting.
I fully accept that the advice myself/others give is not one-size-fits-all, but those coming for help should do their best to pull out tidbits that apply to them.
These days I don't post very much in this thread for this very reason. It becomes exhausting.
I fully accept that the advice myself/others give is not one-size-fits-all, but those coming for help should do their best to pull out tidbits that apply to them.
It's frustrating because it's "well that won't work because x." It won't work because you're already damning yourself before you even try so why bother? And even if you fail at say picking up some woman, guess what, we all have (For me men obviously). We haven't got every single person we've desired, we've just picked ourselves the fuck up after a rejection and tried again.
I'm not saying I won't/am not trying. It's just way harder than everyone is making it out to be.
It's frustrating because it's "well that won't work because x." It won't work because you're already damning yourself before you even try so why bother? And even if you fail at say picking up some woman, guess what, we all have (For me men obviously). We haven't got every single person we've desired, we've just picked ourselves the fuck up after a rejection and tried again.
I tried helping in OT2, but this thread has drained my energy.
Something like this needs to be in the title for |OT4|.
I feel that's why a lot of great advice-givers and positive motivators (highluxury, yourself, PXG, etc. etc.) have stopped posting so frequently in here.
Guys are shit at judging.
Anyways, anecdote time: a friend of mine was talking (not about me) and he was like "if you're not attractive you're not getting laid" ( I paraphrase). And he does get laid, for the record.
This goes against everything I know about women, but still. Besides that, 97% of the girls I'm interested in are of another race. And of course, appearance conscious age group.
I'm not saying I won't/am not trying, Devo. It's just way harder than everyone is making it out to be.
We men, myself included, often assume we know what women are thinking. Or we substitute our own logic and explanations for observed behaviours. I think this can help men get out there, to start being assertive. But for men who do their damnedest to formulate excuses, they also think they know what women are thinking; women don't like them for X or Y or Z isn't good enough about themselves.
This is especially frustrating to witness when you, a real-life woman (!!), are telling them not to think this way. One of the things I put in the OT's OP was to respect and take in the sage advice from you and the other women who are nice enough to provide realistic insights, but some posters seem to be forgetting that bit.
I appreciate your contributions to this thread a lot.
I feel that's why a lot of great advice-givers and positive motivators (highluxury, yourself, PXG, etc. etc.) have stopped posting so frequently in here.
Whoever makes it is more than welcome to do what they please, absolutely.
That is definitely why I stopped posting in here. So much advice is given and a lot of the time it just doesn't get used. People are so negative about themselves that they don't use the tools given to them. Before I went on my date earlier today I had written up a pretty long post full of advice. I come back, refresh the thread, and see that it's mostly the same old shit from people so I just decided not to post it. In the last OT the people that wanted advice actually listened to it and gained from it. Now it seems like the most frequent posters (not all mind you) are more content on just having people feel sorry for them than doing anything to change their situation.