SlipperySlope
Banned
Come to think of it I think I may be bipolar. It helps explain why I always go overboard in a relationship if I think it's going well... And feel like killing myself when it's not.
What? Man, she broke up with you, that much is clear. From the convo you posted, it was a fairly clean break, even if it was one sided. Don't make it any worse. If anything, she will be giving you another chance but that seems unlikely. Just don't do it. Excuse the pun but this is a slippery slope. Just let it her go man.The thing is I believe I know the main issue with Robin. I've been moving too fast. It wasn't just Saturday. I've been moving too fast since the start of the relationship. As a result things have been up and down since the beginning.
I'm going to let things simmer for a week. No texts, no calls. I haven't communicated to her since the breakup call.
Next Sunday I'll give her one last chance. I'll just call and say I'm going to an Angels game next week with a friend and I have an extra ticket and she's free to join.
If she agrees, fine, and I'll take things much slower. If not, then fine, it's over.
Edit - the reason for the date idea is it won't seem like a date. It'll seem more friendly. I want to make it as stress free as possible.
OK GAF I need support
I am going to be 29 in a month and haven't been on a date in about 4 years, before I started working full time. I shared many issues that people here have with girls. Now I am at the end of a 1 month internship. During the internship I met this girl. We have decent conversation from family to work (we go to different schools but study the same subject). Now her look is average at best but she has amazing personality. I am thinking of asking her out tomorrow. Reading between the lines I don't think she has a boyfriend. I figure if she said no I would only have to see her for 2 more days.
On the subject of dating environment: I'm very happy that I'm in college because of all the eye candy... but I just can't find anyone who's attracted to me. Being 23, a non-(weed) smoker, more emotionally mature, and a careful approach to life makes me extremely at odds with most people at this party school.
I know I'm never going to be around as many beautiful girls as I am right now... but it's like it's all for naught, seeing as I can't find anyone compatible or interested in me. :\
Well you cant make a second first impression. That fucked up way in which your friend introduced you was (unfortunately) your first impression. And if you talked to her that many times (in person) and she liked you, she would have given you something to work with. It honestly sounds like she isn't interested and youre getting into stalker territory by keep going at it like this. And before you say but were talking on Facebook! Well That doesnt really mean shit. If she isnt acknowledging you in person she could just like the attention youre giving her, OR your friend zoned. Im not trying to rain on your parade Im just telling you whats likely* happening because I've had this situation before. On the off chance Im wrong I hope yall meet up for coffee or something and you can see where it really goes. Also your two friends are assholes.
Agreed, but why girls can't force it into their head that men would rather be leveled with instead of "spared feelings" is beyond me.
The vast majority of men Im willing to bet would much rather be...hey, the distance is too much and I don't feel that Im close to you. Or, look, Im just not that into you anymore.
Guys, can swallow that and move on.
The ambigious bs is what drives us all nuts.
Come to think of it I think I may be bipolar. It helps explain why I always go overboard in a relationship if I think it's going well... And feel like killing myself when it's not.
Oh believe me, I agree. I am very blunt and would rather be upfront and honest about things rather than be indecisive and lead people on. I do hate it when girls do that... But I'm just rationalizing out why it does happen in the first place.It is more difficult, but if you aren't the one into it, it is more merciful.
To say "i don't know", or "I'll think about it" or whatever...is not not fair. It not only leaves the dumpee being confused, it keeps them wondering what they did wrong...yada yada...and further and more nefariously it keeps the dumper on the dumpee's radar. Keeps the dumpee in the back pocket of the dumper.
It is cleaner and more honest to make a clean break. Go no contact. And move it on down the line.
Come to think of it I think I may be bipolar. It helps explain why I always go overboard in a relationship if I think it's going well... And feel like killing myself when it's not.
Hello.
I'm considering asking this girl out today. But she's white. And that's not the or a problem in any way. But I've had a couple stupefying experiences the last several weeks and am still "dealing with it" best I can. Now the main issue is I don't think that I'll be truly comfortable around her if she does agree to go on a date because of those experiences. I'd be very self conscious about it.
Should I just forget it for now?
Went out tonight to a friends gig and I sadly felt invisible the whole evening.
I tried to speak to people, but my anxiety had rendered myself speechless.
thats pretty vague, and most of the time, if she said yea, then it doesn't matter and you're thinking about it more than she ever did/hasHello.
I'm considering asking this girl out today. But she's white. And that's not the, or a problem in any way. But I've had a couple stupefying experiences the last several weeks and am still "dealing with it" best I can. Now the main issue is I don't think that I'll be truly comfortable around her if she does agree to go on a date because of those experiences. I'd be very self conscious about it.
Should I just forget it for now?
thats pretty vague, and most of the time, if she said yea, then it doesn't matter and you're thinking about it more than she ever did/has
Well I just don't feel as if it's worth pursuing because I'm going to be way too judgemental on everything she says/does in my head. I want to just relax, but I don't know how to go about it instead of stressing out and botching it up.
Well I just don't feel as if it's worth pursuing because I'm going to be way too judgemental on everything she says/does in my head. I want to just relax, but I don't know how to go about it instead of stressing out and botching it up.
We're all in on this relationship >< Haven't stopped talking, haven't stopped being saccharine sweet to one another. We met, but two of my friends that we didn't want to know what was going yet were there...but right afterward me and her were texting how much we wanted to hold hands/kiss goodbye and stuff
Well I just don't feel as if it's worth pursuing because I'm going to be way too judgemental on everything she says/does in my head. I want to just relax, but I don't know how to go about it instead of stressing out and botching it up.
Stuff..... Bad stuff
u cray
Yes, I've been told I speak softly, I wish it was more masculine. Also why people tell me I have a calming voice. I don't know if my eye contact is strong...I make eye contact but don't always hold it. I'm working on that, I've gotten better lately.
Hahaha... I'm in a fraternity, my friend. Without sullying the great reputation of the American Greek system, I'll let you draw your own conclusions on whether or not I have "been stupid."Did you ever try being stupid, not really stupid, but just a little? Sometimes I think 'maturity' is an excuse, it was with me for sure. Not saying necessarily you should smoke weed, but a party with attractive women feels good. Yeah, drinking is dumb and it sucks but whatever a few drinks aren't going to kill you (well, at least if you're smart about it).
Every time I go down that hole of stupidity I have a good time. Maybe that's just my adaptive nature, but it's thinking you're 'above' 'wiser' 'more mature' and all that which will limit you in many ways.
I'm a certified genius and if I went on my feelings of how much less intelligent everyone is than me (which pops into my mind often), I would be even more miserable than I am all of the time.
If it helps imagine you're participating in a cavemen rite of passage and they're bringing you into their clan, because really that's what it is.
She'll probably be just as nervous about trying not to be insensitive or out of line. If you're more relaxed than so is she. If she says something kind of weird or out of line just be patient and explain why you find it a problem.
I read your post wrong then, congrats man.
Edit: Dammit DY
Is her dad a klan member or something? The fuck is the problem if she's white?
either something happened and you/we can talk about it or you can say fuck it and move on
you make it sound like she was cool then you added her on facebook only to see she's always sending invites to klan rallies
See, that's the thing though. I'm a little...largely thinking about what she's thinking. And I can't just outright tell her: "I've dealt with a lot of racism and bla bla bla" but it's something that weighs heavily on my mind and does affect how I behave.I don't want to "embarass her" for being with her if someone says or does something stupid. I don't ant to have that cdonversation where I have to defend myself and my happiness.
I really would like to build a relationship with someone and finally find some semblance of a connection. But this girl just seems like an automatic no to me. I mean, look at it this way: People always say "She/he's totally out of your league" and all that other stuff, right? Even some of you guys say that in this very thread. So I'm having a terribly difficult time seeing how this super blonde, blue eyed, ridiculously beautiful girl is ever going to even think "Sure" for a second.
Yes, she seems nice and is really cool. But I'm getting real tired of the "Just friends" talk. And honestly, it' weird. Because girls are always telling me how handsome I am, and all the other adjectives; but whenever I try and go for an actual relationship, it's always no. I know a lot of guys have that problem too, but for me; it seems like it's really an issue of colour that is the problem. I just don't want to deal with that mental game yet again.
But this girl just seems like an automatic no to me. I mean, look at it this way: People always say "She/he's totally out of your league" and all that other stuff, right?
So I'm having a terribly difficult time seeing how this super blonde, blue eyed, ridiculously beautiful girl is ever going to even think "Sure" for a second.
I can't tell you what to do or feel because I don't have to deal with the enormity of being black, or a black man,
People are going to say stupid shit if you're in an interracial relationship, that's just how it goes. You can either deal with it because the bond you have with the person is strong enough, or you can't. It's just one thing you have to account for and deal with as it comes.
You need to get over this. Sure there are women who are afraid to be with black people due to their own hang ups or how their family will react. But you're basically stereotyping and holding out on your own possible experiences because of it and that's not fair at the very least to yourself, nor the women who are interested in you and want to be with you regardless of your race. I can't tell you what to do or feel because I don't have to deal with the enormity of being black, or a black man, but I do know what I feel towards my own boyfriend. Don't sell yourself short because some people are racist pieces of shits or cowards.
Yes I am judging her unfairly. I know that. But it's happened far too often for me not to just think "Is this worth the heartache?". I want to give her a chance, I want to give myself a chance. I guess what I'm saying overall is, I'm afraid of her saying yes. I mean, because if she said No: I could just say "Hah! I knew it! No way it'd ever work out. White girls are still white". And continue on my "merry way" doubting everyone and judging everyone harshly. Simply as an excuse not to try anymore. It doesn't make me strong, but weak. I've thought about this many times in my life guys, I know the reason I feel this way. But I can't change it. Because if she said yes...what would I do?Total and utter bullshit.
Rage inducing total and utter bullshit.
Couple of things. Are you judging her without her even saying anything? Or is she the one giving you the "friends talk"? If it's the former why the hell would you kill off something before it even had a chance to start?
I guess what I'm saying overall is, I'm afraid of her saying yes.
But I can't change it. Because if she said yes...what would I do?
You're frustrating dude. You can take a chance, see what happens and live. Or you can still live, just with regret because you have shitty self image issues. Your choice.
Izick... I know you're still around. Watch this please. (you to Joker)
http://youtu.be/m92WVQDY94I?t=6m35s
You're frustrating dude. You can take a chance, see what happens and live. Or you can still live, just with regret because you have shitty self image issues. Your choice.
Izick... I know you're still around. Watch this please. (you to Joker)
http://youtu.be/m92WVQDY94I?t=6m35s
How can you think or make a post like this and consider yourself ready to date or fall in love? I hate to be this blunt about it but this is what I meant pages back about Depression Age coming before Dating Age.
Fuck! I think I may literally be the most clueless man ever when it comes to picking up on hints. Except here they weren't even hints, more like Titanic-sized clues that I completely failed to pick up on.
So I met a girl at a bar randomly and said hello.
We chat for a while and she asks:
"Are you single?"
After I say yes and she says that she is too, she starts probing:
"Are you hoping to meet somebody tonight?"
"What type of girls do you go for?"
"Have you met anyone you like tonight?" (deep stare)
etc, etc.
After dancing around her questions whilst making her laugh she asks:
"What are your plans for tomorrow?"
and then later on after I tell her of my plans to move away soon she says:
"Well who knows, perhaps you'll meet somebody you really like and you'll stay here after all!"
Unbelievably the whole time I just thought she was being friendly and didn't read anymore into it. She would even lean right against me whenever talking to me! :lol
Whenever I'm coming onto a girl I tend to be rather blunt and very direct (to my disadvantage often) but when it's the other way everything goes entirely over my head
Forget it.
"Hah! I knew it! No way it'd ever work out. White girls are still white".
You can speak calmly without speaking quietly (i'll link you to a great video of this if I can find it http://youtu.be/ntZ7zQ2PpXA?t=13s (It's literally just a conversation but it proves my point).
You can deepen your voice without not speaking calmly.
But I never once said I wasn't trying. I'm improving myself - I'm maintaining eye contact, and that's noticeable. I'm speaking more clearly. I'm talking to people for the hell of it, but... with women, the conversations end up super basic. Other people can get laughs in moments, and do something interesting - I can't. But I am trying. But with people that live down the hall from me, making intentions clearer will only make shit awkward if it goes wrong.
Still can't drive.
Someone suggest a voice coach earlier. I want to try and go see one.
Try acting. It's pretty nice to have different voices to use for different environments, even non-dating wise. A good stage voice and stage presence works wonders for interviews. Hell, even my "Radio DJ Voice" at my college station has uses here and there.
I thought actors saw voice coaches to help them out.
Went out tonight to a friends gig and I sadly felt invisible the whole evening.
I tried to speak to people, but my anxiety had rendered myself speechless.
This is good shit dude and I'm happy for you. As far as not being able to meet people what type of environment do you live in? (City, suburbs, etc.)
Why can't you drive?
Suburbs heaven. It takes a while to get out of my neighborhood, and after I get out of my neighborhood there are some small shopping centers, but not much to do. Mall's a bit further. Don't see much people my age there anymore. College is a different and much better story.
Not enough practice to take the driving test. And there's currently no one around to drive with me.
What state are you in again?
I'm wondering whether you come off a certain way to people. I have NO idea why people are so hostile against you.
Don't really want to say. But if Detective GAF can figure it out, it wouldn't matter hiding it. (One has already proven capable enough to figure out my first name. Spooky, yes?)
Never question DetectiveGAF. I was gonna say though, if you were close, I'd be more than willing to help you learn to drive.
PM if you want, no worries. Or not, it's not a issue to me.