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[Jack The Nipper]

Everything is exactly equal at all times everywhere.

Yes but people don't see things in this manner. Plus we react to acceptable matters in groups or people.

 

[Jenov]

Cosign, there's a lot of things projected on to women in society. Carrying to full term is a hard choice, getting an abortion is a hard choice, planning a pregnancy is a hard choice, but finding out you're pregnant after a one-nite stand is irresponsible, the condom breaks and not being on the pill is irresponsible.

Could you imagine all that shit if every time someone broke their arm people made all those judgements? Slipped on ice? Should have worn boots. Refused painkillers? You're so brave!

The woman in this story made a decision, and now everyone on social media is chiming-in with value-judgements.

It's an interesting story, I'm glad she chose to share it, but I can understand how people who have been in simiar situations can be off-put by rushing to praise or condemn a person for making a decision on a situation they have no control over.

It also makes me wary, a story like this gets promoted and another woman faces a similar situation, of course she has the right to terminate, but if she does... "oh, so why didn't you carry it to term like that other lady? She's a hero! Unlike you." People want to hear that, right...

But she does have control over her situation, she could abort the pregnancy and save herself the grief of going full term knowing the outcome. Which would be totally fine and her right to do if she went that route. The fact that she's choosing to continue carrying just so that other babies can benefit from her childs organs is rather commendable. I dont understand the negativity here, she's making the best of a tragic situation to try and help others, that's very nice of her and she didn't have to do it.

 

[Pantsuit Apologist]

The woman in this story made a decision, and now everyone on social media is chiming-in with value-judgements.

She's making a decision that will hopefully save multiple lives. She gets my praise because she's going well above and beyond. Sure she could've just terminated the pregnancy and you'd never had heard about it but that's not the point of the story.

 

[Fergie]

Incredible woman. To even think of doing that after finding out that about your child is an incredible thing. Could save a life further down the line.

 

[Kaswa101]

You're a terrible person.

All that really needs to be said.

You're trying to treat this as a competition because you didn't get praised? Oh, come off your high horse. It's a shitty story that is going to have a good outcome.

This. The irony is that this person is making it into a competition. Just pathetic that they have to attack and discredit the brave woman in the OP. :/

 

[TheSeks]

That's possible (transplanting another infant's organs)? I figured given how small in size they are, that'd be a pretty tricky operation to do, especially with anti-rejection drugs?

 

[Shredderi]

That has got to be up there with the most selfless acts I've read about. And yes I think it is commendable as hell. I mean, it IS heroic no matter what I think about it. I'm so sorry for anyone who has had a bad prenatal diagnosis and had to terminate, I've seen how traumatic that can be (my sister had to terminate). The fact that she could have terminated the pregnancy and saved her from all that came after this decision but instead decided to give birth in order to save other babies is something else. I mean damn.

 

[ElectricBlanketFire]

Could you imagine all that shit if every time someone broke their arm people made all those judgements? Slipped on ice? Should have worn boots. Refused painkillers? You're so brave!

The woman in this story made a decision, and now everyone on social media is chiming-in with value-judgements.

I'm as cynical as it gets but damn...

 

[Funyarinpa]

;_;7

 

[Dr.Acula]

Nobody is going to chastise anyone for not going through with a pregnancy that has been compromised

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/20-week-abortion-ban-nebraska-oklahoma-fetus-feel/story?id=13116214

Chastise? Women are forced to complete non-viable pregnancies. Chastisement absolutely happens, come on.

(that linked story is interesting, the baby was not viable, and died within two weeks of birth. The mother didn't want an abortion, but wanted to induce so the child's fetal pain (literally the child was in pain in the womb) could end. There was a court case and she had to carry the child much longer than she would have liked. She also said her politics were private, and she didn't like how her story was politicised.)

(but anyhow, there are countless examples of women being judged negatively for their choices -even the woman who's the subject of this thread!)

 

[LookAtMeGo]

Much respect.

 

[Tripolygon]

You all are treating her as a hero. She's not a hero. She's a woman with a choice and that's it. Her path isn't any more or less difficult to overcome than any one else's.

Not only are you a shitty person you're also a moron.

Dictionary definition of a Hero.

a person admired for achievements and noble qualities

She's making an extraordinary choice that would save multiple children. Shes a hero, you on the other hand are not. Going by your attitude in this thread.

 

[notaskwid]

That's possible (transplanting another infant's organs)? I figured given how small in size they are, that'd be a pretty tricky operation to do, especially with anti-rejection drugs?

Babies don't have nearly the same needs as an adult for anti-rejection drugs since their imune system is not nearly as developed.

 

[LookAtMeGo]

You all are treating her as a hero. She's not a hero. She's a woman with a choice and that's it. Her path isn't any more or less difficult to overcome than any one else's.

The fuck is wrong with you? What do you think makes people heroes? Its the fucking choices they make and actions they take in life. Selfless ones. Choices and actions that benefit others no matter how much pain it might cause themselves. What a shitty fucking attitude.

 

[Dr.Acula]

But she does have control over her situation, she could abort the pregnancy and save herself the grief of going full term knowing the outcome. Which would be totally fine and her right to do if she went that route. The fact that she's choosing to continue carrying just so that other babies can benefit from her childs organs is rather commendable. I dont understand the negativity here, she's making the best of a tragic situation to try and help others, that's very nice of her and she didn't have to do it.

I meant as her having no control to the situation of her baby being healthy. It's like being in a car and finding out the brakes are faulty. You either try and control the deceleration or crash, but you can't finish the journey.

 

[Xe4]

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/20-week-abortion-ban-nebraska-oklahoma-fetus-feel/story?id=13116214

Chastise? Women are forced to complete non-viable pregnancies. Chastisement absolutely happens, come on.

(that linked story is interesting, the baby was not viable, and died within two weeks of birth. The mother didn't want an abortion, but wanted to induce so the child's fetal pain (literally the child was in pain in the womb) could end. There was a court case and she had to carry the child much longer than she would have liked. She also said her politics were private, and she didn't like how her story was politicised.)

(but anyhow, there are countless examples of women being judged negatively for their choices -even the woman who's the subject of this thread!)

Woman being denied an induced pregnancy in a conservative state != woman choosing to go through with pregnancy to help others.

Get out of there with that false equivalency. Just be happy someone is being a hero and leave it at that, damn. Not every little thing needs to be politicized.

 

[ElectricBlanketFire]

I meant as her having no control to the situation of her baby being healthy. It's like being in a car and finding out the brakes are faulty. You either try and control the deceleration or crash, but you can't finish the journey.

This is a poor comparison.

 

[TheBryanJZX90]

Very likely a child (or several) is/are going to live because of this woman's choice. How in the fuck is that not commendable?

Nobody is going to chastise anyone for not going through with a pregnancy that has been compromised, just like nobody is going to chastise you for not randomly donating a kidney. But that doesn't mean this woman isn't a hero for doing it.

I think you and most of the other posters in this thread are obviously wrong if you really think "nobody" would chastise someone for choosing not to carry to term. No one expects someone to donate a kidney. Almost half the country is pro life and a significant portion of those people expect a woman to carry to term even in the case of medical issues impacting viability.

That is the context placed around the general praise placed upon this particular woman. Given how that context would affect a woman facing a similar decision who is leaning towards termination, I think it is completely understandable to want to remind everyone that this particular woman's choice is not the only one worthy of praise.

 

[muu]

But she does have control over her situation, she could abort the pregnancy and save herself the grief of going full term knowing the outcome. Which would be totally fine and her right to do if she went that route. The fact that she's choosing to continue carrying just so that other babies can benefit from her childs organs is rather commendable. I dont understand the negativity here, she's making the best of a tragic situation to try and help others, that's very nice of her and she didn't have to do it.

From what I gather the opportunity to carry to full term itself is a rare opportunity, and that in most situations a pregnancy this bungled is going to be forced to either abort or otherwise eject way before a full 39 weeks. Going back to Eye to Eye's original comment on the thread here, the negativity likely spun from the fact that she's always working with people who didn't ever have that choice. Perhaps the special snowflake comment was regarding someone that had that opportunity, and had a holier-than-thou attitude about it, that she was better than all these other people since she could carry the baby to full term when others could not. If your line of work is being a grief counselor for a specific group of people, I could see that being upsetting.

Maybe I'm taking an overly favorable view of things and vouching for an actually terrible person, but it feels to me like some phrases came out much harsher than it should have been and she's getting dogpiled.

 

[notaskwid]

So I guess the critics position is that "she was pro-life anyway so she is only fulfilling her obligation"?

 

[MulderYuffie]

wow what an incredible person.

 

[Keri]

I think you and most of the other posters in this thread are obviously wrong if you really think "nobody" would chastise someone for choosing not to carry to term. No one expects someone to donate a kidney. Almost half the country is pro life and a significant portion of those people expect a woman to carry to term even in the case of medical issues impacting viability.

That is the context placed around the general praise placed upon this particular woman. Given how that context would affect a woman facing a similar decision who is leaning towards termination, I think it is completely understandable to want to remind everyone that this particular woman's choice is not the only one worthy of praise.

So, you're suggesting that we completely discount the traumatic and selfless experience of this woman, in order to avoid normalizing her choice and increasing the likelihood that it becomes expected of other women? So, saying: "This woman is no hero, it's no big deal!" makes it less likely that other women will be expected to do the same?

I think you and Dr. Acula are taking the exact wrong approach here. If we don't acknowledge that this woman is a hero then we're normalizing her sacrifice and suggesting that other women who make a different choice are abnormal. It's precisely because this is such a difficult experience, that this women disserves acknowledgement for what she's doing and precisely why we should never expect anyone to make the same choice.

 

[Glix]

The fuck is wrong with you? What do you think makes people heroes? Its the fucking choices they make and actions they take in life. Selfless ones. Choices and actions that benefit others no matter how much pain it might cause themselves. What a shitty fucking attitude.

Gandhi was no hero bro. He just made a choice to walk down to the ocean...

What the fuck!!

 

[Dr.Acula]

This is a poor comparison.

Okay. I just mean that any choice a woman makes when told her baby is non-viable is brave. Same way someone who is told they have cancer can choose between chemo or no chemo. I wouldn't say that cancer sufferer is making a choice where one choice is the inherently brave one. It's a Sophie's choice where the choice isn't active, rather it's passive to the situation.

One more bad analogy. If you're in a burning building, running through the smoke or jumping out the window are two very different actions of choice compared to a bystander choosing to enter the burning building to help. The first is choosing between facing death from two different perspectives, and the second is choosing facing death or not at all.

I support the woman in the article's decision no matter what it was, but these are private decisions and when people get on social media and praise or condemn these decisions made by strangers, I am just made uncomfortable by it.

Woman being denied an induced pregnancy in a conservative state != woman choosing to go through with pregnancy to help others.

Get out of there with that false equivalency. Just be happy someone is being a hero and leave it at that, damn. Not every little thing needs to be politicized.

Hey, you're the one saying that a woman choosing to end her non-viable pregnancy wouldn't get chastised.

 

[King Gilga]

This creeps me out.

The idea of giving birth to some thing without a brain just, blergh.

Good on her for being able to go through would it, I would never in a million years.

 

[Milksheikhs]

Nobody is going to chastise anyone for not going through with a pregnancy that has been compromised, just like nobody is going to chastise you for not randomly donating a kidney. But that doesn't mean this woman isn't a hero for doing it.

That's just not true, though. Women are harassed and demonized all the time for terminating their pregnancies because of medical reasons.

 

[Eye for an Eye]

You kinda undermined your own point about how these are just choices and paths if you go up to other people and get in their faces with choices and paths...

The woman was a pro-life protestor holding up disgusting phtoshopped images and toting around her child as a trophy for not tx her pregnancy. Yeah, obviously I'm going to have a problem with her. She wants to have a disabled kid, then go for it. But if she's going to judge me or another woman for making a choice, then I'm going to judge her for being a vile human being as well.

Do you even realize the percentage chance of her actaully getting to donate the organs are? The percentage that her pregnancy will be viable long enough to get to that point?

What about all the women who have donated their tx babies to medical research? Isn't this just as noble? But most women don't even get the chance because of the red tape in the way of making a donation.
http://theweek.com/articles/584576/how-fetal-tissue-used-medical-research

I'm not discrediting her position or emotions or decision, but I'm not going to tout her as a hero.

 

[Thebeardofknowledge]

It survives by the umbilical cord. Most scenarios do not play out like this though. It's a strange and rare case of being able to do an actual live organ donation. Most times, they're only able to donate to research.

I don't find her any more commendable than any other woman getting a poor prenatal diagnosis, whether they choose to carry to term or terminate.

By all these replies? You sure do make it sound like it is.

I say it as some one who has twice terminated for medical reasons. I say it as someone who helps other women get through a termination for medical reason.

Have you ever been faced with a poor prenatal diagnosis? Have you ever faced making the decision on CTT or having an abortion at 20 weeks? Didn't think so... Her actions are not any more commendable than any other woman or her choice. I sure as hell didn't get any pats on the back and thousands of praises for the hell I went through.

You all are treating her as a hero. She's not a hero. She's a woman with a choice and that's it. Her path isn't any more or less difficult to overcome than any one else's.

But there's always been women to carry to term and women who terminate. It's a pain that few know from either side. She's not a special case. On top of that, her wish might be to donate the organs, but there's so much more to it than that, if she makes it to that point.

And this isn't the first story of a woman CTT and getting praises for it.

I sure as hell would.

Btw, I actually did say it to a woman who had a child with anencephaly, who thought she was a special snowflake for CTT rather than tx her pregnancy.

What the actual fuck is wrong with you ?

 

[Xe4]

I think you and most of the other posters in this thread are obviously wrong if you really think "nobody" would chastise someone for choosing not to carry to term. No one expects someone to donate a kidney. Almost half the country is pro life and a significant portion of those people expect a woman to carry to term even in the case of medical issues impacting viability.

That is the context placed around the general praise placed upon this particular woman. Given how that context would affect a woman facing a similar decision who is leaning towards termination, I think it is completely understandable to want to remind everyone that this particular woman's choice is not the only one worthy of praise.

There is nothing praiseworthy about getting an abortion, or not getting an abortion. It is simply a choice one makes. However, there is certainly something very praiseworthy about putting yourself through an ordeal in order to help save lives (of children, no less). I think it is entirely possible to both a.) praise someone when they go out of their way to save someones life, and b.)not shame women for getting an abortion. It's really not that hard to do.

Hey, you're the one saying that a woman choosing to end her non-viable pregnancy wouldn't get chastised.

That's just not true, though. Women are harassed and demonized all the time for terminating their pregnancies because of medical reasons.

Sure, by pro-life advocates. Her choosing to donate her child's organs isn't going to change anybodies mind regarding pro-choice vs. pro-life. It certainly didn't change mine.

 

[Lundren]

What the actual fuck is wrong with you ?

Everything.

 

[TheBryanJZX90]

There is nothing praiseworthy about getting an abortion, or not getting an abortion. It is simply a choice one makes. However, there is certainly something very praiseworthy about putting yourself through an ordeal in order to help save lives (of children, no less). I think it is entirely possible to both a.) praise someone when they go out of their way to save someones life, and b.)not shame women for getting an abortion. It's really not that hard to do.

I mean you can say the bolded above, but in the end this entire thread is praising a woman for not getting an abortion. It is also praising her for hopefully helping others, but it is still praising her for not getting an abortion.

 

[Keri]

I mean you can say the bolded above, but in the end this entire thread is praising a woman for not getting an abortion. It is also praising her for hopefully helping others, but it is still praising her for not getting an abortion.

So, again, you believe we have to ignore the incredible sacrifice this woman is making, to somehow discourage people from judging women who choose to abort? So because some people mistreat women who choose to terminate, society has to avoid giving any positive attention to women who carry to term or acknowledging the difficulty with carrying to term? Do you think this helps women?

 

[dh4niel]

What an amazingly selfless woman.

 

[Jenov]

I mean you can say the bolded above, but in the end this entire thread is praising a woman for not getting an abortion. It is also praising her for hopefully helping others, but it is still praising her for not getting an abortion.

I'm not praising her for not getting an abortion, I'm praising her for wanting to donate organs for other babies. That's nice of her considering the circumstances. I would not be disappointed if she ended up terminating (in fact, I would totally understand and sympathize considering the situation).

 

[KernelPanic]

I could have done this.

Didn't even occur to me, I feel ashamed now((((

 

[egruntz]

What a thread is all I can say. Incredible.

Woman in the story is taking a considerably hard route for the benefit of others; it is right to commend her. That doesn't take away from the pain and suffering other women have gone through.

Some people.

 

[ElectricBlanketFire]

I could have done this.

Didn't even occur to me, I feel ashamed now((((

Absolutely no reason to feel ashamed.

 

[Noobcraft]

Coming from personal experience of having my wife and I go through a non viable pregnancy, I'm glad that this woman found a source of comfort with organ donation. Likewise, women who find comfort in terminating the pregnancy are also praiseworthy. Expecting a healthy pregnancy and getting news that contradicts your expectations is a heart wrenching experience.

 

[Ryzaki009]

I could have done this.

Didn't even occur to me, I feel ashamed now((((

You shouldn't. There's absolutely no reason to.

*sends all the internet hugs*

 

[kitchenmotors]

Everything.

Which is why that person bailed on the thread.

 

[Air]

That takes a lot of strength

 

[Zen Aku]

I could have done this.

Didn't even occur to me, I feel ashamed now((((

Don't be. Seriously don't. *Hugs* You did what you thought was best for you

 

[John Kowalski]

I think she will be a great mom someday

 

[TheBryanJZX90]

So, again, you believe we have to ignore the incredible sacrifice this woman is making, to somehow discourage people from judging women who choose to abort? So because some people mistreat women who choose to terminate, society has to avoid giving any positive attention to women who carry to term or acknowledging the difficulty with carrying to term? Do you think this helps women?

I'll admit that I have been trying to think of this entirely from the perspective of a woman faced with a similar decision that does not want to carry to term and haven't really been thinking of it from the position of a woman who wishes to carry to term. But, I don't think that I have said that this woman should not be praised. (Yeah just re-read my original post, as I said this woman's choice "is not the only one worthy of praise") My main point has been that if we say women have a right to choose but only praise women that make one of those choices then it sucks for women that make the other choice.

 

[DiipuSurotu]

I think she will be a great mom someday

She's already the mother of a son, but yeah as Zen Aku said we can only hope that one day she can have another baby if she wants to.

 

[Zee-Row]

Explain to me this , how does the body stay alive during this whole process? Doesn't the brain have to tell the other organs to do things?

 

[CREMSteve]

Unbelievable story.

 

[Keri]

I'll admit that I have been trying to think of this entirely from the perspective of a woman faced with a similar decision that does not want to carry to term and haven't really been thinking of it from the position of a woman who wishes to carry to term. But, I don't think that I have said that this woman should not be praised. My main point has been that if we say women have a right to choose but only praise women that make one of those choices then it sucks for women that make the other choice.

But the praise she is receiving isn't because she chose not to abort. She's receiving praise, because she's chosen to endure the hardships of pregnancy and delivery, solely to benefit others. The decision not to abort, has made her sacrifice possible, but it's not what she's being praised for. I think we have to be careful not to equate these two, because if we equate these two, we're falling into the trap of completely discounting how difficult pregnancy is. Terminating a pregnancy is difficult. So is carrying a pregnancy to term and giving birth. We should be able to acknowledge that, without putting the experiences in competition with each other and we shouldn't encourage people to ignore the difficulties experienced by all women, to avoid creating a competition.

Also, for the record, most women don't get a whole hell of a lot of praise for carrying their children to term, generally. So, it's really unlikely that the praise in this situation is focused on her decision not to abort. It's focused on the decision to help others.

 

[Hazmat]

What the actual fuck is wrong with you ?

Seriously, what the fuck? "Woman does good thing, GAFfer responds: 'Fuck her, she's not special.'"

 

[Noobcraft]

Explain to me this , how does the body stay alive during this whole process? Doesn't the brain have to tell the other organs to do things?

Afaik the brain stem is still there and able to regulate things like blood pressure, heart rate, and other bodily functions for the fetus. The higher centers of the brain necessary for life beyond the womb aren't there though.