BASEBALL'S BACK ALL RIGHT!!!
My team-by-team analysis:
New York Yankees: Carl Pavano will have a Cy Young caliber year, A-Rod will win the MVP, Jeter leads the team to victory, Damon continues being better than he ever was in Boston, Abreu will continue his tenure as a True Yankee, and Wang and Mussina will combine as the best 1-2 punch in the AL. The team will win 110 games, beating Boston 15 times, and will sweep their way to the World Series.
Boston Red Sox: Schilling is old and busted, Matsuzaka will fizzle playing real baseball, Papelbon will flame out like most closers do, Manny will be Manny, Ortiz will be released at the end of the year to make way for Chipper Jones (actually happened in 07 The Show, so it must be true), and really, does anyone expect J.D. Drew to play more than 80 games this season?
New York Mets: A starting rotation containing Oliver Freaking Perez has no chance to win the East. They'll still finish better than the Atlolta Braves, speaking of which...
Atlanta Braves: Still the same crappy team they were last time with only a slightly less crappier bullpen. Smoltzies age will catch up to him and Chuck James will bomb. Andruw will have a career year, but that'll be offset by Chipper being hurt 98% of the season and Jeff Francouer striking out not only for himself, but for the 8 other hitters as well. 4th place finish at best.
Baltimore Orioles: They have potential, and Eric Bedard is nasty, so I wouldn't count them out yet. Unfortunately, they'll finish 4th at best the way things are now.
Toronto Blue Jays: Probably the biggest threat in the AL East. Vernon Wells, Alex Rios, Halladay, Burnett, and BJ Ryan make up a pretty good team. Of course, if Halladay and Burnett go down again, then tere won't even be a discussion.
Tampa Bay Devil Rays: "They'll be owning the AL East in a few years, mark my words." - jman2050 circa 2001.
Detroit Tigers: Rogers is gone, which is bad. Verlander will be good, but not as good as last year. Sheffield helps their offense a lot, but it wasn't that great to begin with, so meh. 2nd or 3rd place probably.
Minnesota Twins: Carlos Silva in a major league rotation? instead of Matt Garza? Guess management really wants to tank the season. They should be careful though, their time with Santana is growing short. 2nd or 3rd place.
Cleveland Indians: My sleeper pick for this year. For once they WON'T disappoint people. I like Hafner, I like Sabathia, and they'll finally get it together this year. 1st place finish.
Chicago White Sox: I haven't followed them much this offseason, except that Darin Erstad is in their starting roster. Sorry, 4th place definite.
Kansas City Royals: Gil Meche. 55 million dollars. Nuff said.
Anaheim Angels: In all seriousness, my pick to win the World Series. I love their pitching staff, K-Rod is about as money as you can get, and unlike some other people, I think the Gary Matthews signing is a huge help to their offense. Will win the West easily.
Oakland Athletics: I like this team too, and I have no doubt Piazza as a DH will help greatly. They won't beat the Angels, but they'll give them a run for their money. 2nd place.
Seattle Mariners: Haven't followed this team at all, but looking at their roster I can't help ut raise an eyebrow. Chris Reitsma? Seriously? Last place.
Texas Rangers: Gagne's on the DL again. Thank god I didn't pick him up in my fantasy leagues. Besides that though, i think the team is solid, but having Kevin Millwood as your ace doesn't inspire much confidence in me. On the other hand, McCarthy should be money. I like him a lot. 3rd place.
Philadelphia Phillies: Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, serviceable pitching. What's not to like. They came awfully close last year despite their fire sale, and with the Mets starting Oliver Freaking Perez and the Braves out of the way, they'll take the NL East.
Florida Marlins: I love Hanley Ramirez. Really, I do. Makes the Josh Beckett trade seem awfully stupid now, especially is Beckett has a year like last's. Long-term plan lol. on the other hand, the Marlins still have problems, and Jorge Julio closing is about par for the course on this team, but they'll still finish better than the Braves.
Washington Nationals: Crappy team minus Alfonso Soriano equals crappier team.
St Louis Cardinals: They'll still win the division, but if they repeat as champions I'm calling for an all-out ban on the NL playoffs.
Chicago Cubs: Good enough to make the wild card. Maybe even win the division, but I'm not sure about that. Nevertheless, they're the Chicago Cubs. They could face the Nationals in the LDS and lose 3-1.
Houston Astros: Lidge is only getting worse, Craig Biggio is 80 years old, and aside from Roy Oswalt, who else do they have. Nevertheless, they'll be good enough for 2nd place at most.
Cincinnati Reds: I honestly don't know a single thing about this team, so I'll leave them alone.
Pittsburgh Pirates: I don't know anything about this team either, but this image is so hilarious I had to include it.
Milwaukee Brewers: You know, it took me 5 whole minutes to remember who the sixth team in the Central is. And who could blame me? Does anyone ever consistently remember that these guys exist?
Los Angeles Dodgers: Should win the west easily, though with their track record you never really know. Jason Schmidt should have a big year though.
San Francisco Giants: Barry Zito will have a huge year. Besides that though I can't say much good about this team.
San Diego Padres: Honestly, who gives a ****?
Arizona Diamondbacks: I like this team a lot, and think they have potential. I'm not sure they'll enjoy Randy and his 5+ ERA though.
In conclusion: Boston may win again, Yankees might falter, Cardinals could repeat, and the Brewers might actually exist. But who cares? IT'S BASEBALL, THE SPORT OF AMERICA (football is gay).
