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Most clueless you've ever been to sexual/romantic advances?

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T

Tawpgun

Member
Maybe you guys can help me by making sure I don't add a story to this thread. I think my problem is not missing the signs, its overanalyzing everything.

Met this girl in December... and our first meeting wasn't really supposed to be a date, I was just supposed to meet this girl in person for the first time (I had only texted her before this) and it went well. Not exactly sparks flying or anything but we got along and it was fun.

After that I wasn't even sure if I was gonna see her again but then she decides to text me like 2 days after and we're talking over text and FB. She mentions how she wants to hang out again before she leaves for break. The fact that she wanted to hang out with just me again seemed like a good sign. So we ended up just walking around the city for a bit, sat on a bench for a while and stuff. I regret not making some sort of move then, but whatever. She then says she's going to a party, and I'm invited. So me and a few friends go to that, its fun and stuff but I unfortunately didn't hang around her too much while there since there were so many people and she was going around talking to all her friends and stuff.

We walk back with a bunch of people, and so here I am thinking this girl is into me... I know she lives far away and the subway isn't running anymore.... I legitimately didn't want her to walk home alone so I offered but she flat out turned me down. She lives alone also.

Anyway, she leaves on break, we stay in touch through texting. And I think signs are good. We're making plans for when we get back. She drunk texts me saying she thinks Im cute, how she wishes I was there. I don't like "making moves" over text so im waiting until she gets back...

Anyway thats my story, lets hope it works out
 
G

GrizzNKev

Banned
Tawpgun said:
Maybe you guys can help me by making sure I don't add a story to this thread. I think my problem is not missing the signs, its overanalyzing everything.

Met this girl in December... and our first meeting wasn't really supposed to be a date, I was just supposed to meet this girl in person for the first time (I had only texted her before this) and it went well. Not exactly sparks flying or anything but we got along and it was fun.

After that I wasn't even sure if I was gonna see her again but then she decides to text me like 2 days after and we're talking over text and FB. She mentions how she wants to hang out again before she leaves for break. The fact that she wanted to hang out with just me again seemed like a good sign. So we ended up just walking around the city for a bit, sat on a bench for a while and stuff. I regret not making some sort of move then, but whatever. She then says she's going to a party, and I'm invited. So me and a few friends go to that, its fun and stuff but I unfortunately didn't hang around her too much while there since there were so many people and she was going around talking to all her friends and stuff.

We walk back with a bunch of people, and so here I am thinking this girl is into me... I know she lives far away and the subway isn't running anymore.... I legitimately didn't want her to walk home alone so I offered but she flat out turned me down. She lives alone also.

Anyway, she leaves on break, we stay in touch through texting. And I think signs are good. We're making plans for when we get back. She drunk texts me saying she thinks Im cute, how she wishes I was there. I don't like "making moves" over text so im waiting until she gets back...

Anyway thats my story, lets hope it works out
Click to expand...
QofUD.png
 
C

Captain Knutsman

Member
Feel like sharing, so here goes. Once I was working at a disco cleaning the tables, keeping the bars filled with ice, etc. and keeping restrooms tidy for each sex, meaning I got to spend a lot of time in the girls restrooms (damn they were messy!). Anyways, one night I had just replenished all of the toilet paper and was cleaning out the sink in the girls bathroom. Two semi-regular female visitors are there, and one of them goes to an empty stall and calls my name. I'm like "what?" and she says "Come and see, this needs more toilet paper" *winkywinky*. Me: "nope, I just filled them all up, they're good to go", her: "But this one needs more paper, come and see" *moving around on the spot*. Me: "I'm pretty sure I filled it" *I said slightly embarrassed that she was harrassing my work, telling me what to do*

Left the restroom, and halfway through the dancefloor it hit me, damnit! I was so mad at myself for thinking about work and not eyeing that chance - didn't see her much more that summer :)
 
I

Idde

Member
I feel for all of you guys. And would like to add some of my own stories.

When I was sixteen I was pretty socially inept, didn't go out for drinks with classmates, had had no luck with girls whatsoever and had a major crush on a redhead from my class. In English we had to work in groups of four, with the tables pushed together. She was in my group, and I was delighted. And also a complete idiot.

She invited me to go out with a couple of people from our class to go drink beer on friday afternoon a couple of times, but that was also my GoldenEye day with fellow nerds. So I said no. I was an idiot. Somehow I still ended up at her place a couple of times, just chatting and walking the dog 'sheep.'

That lasted for a couple of weeks. After that she bluntly came up to me during a break on friday in the hallway and said: "I like you." I was flabbergasted and replied with: "Thanks." That's it, just thanks. I ran into the bathroom, hid behind a wall and waited for her to walk away. I was an idiot.

After the weekend I tried talking to her again, but she said she was going out with some guy who was two years older. He asked her to a dance and she said yes. To this day, twelve years later I still feel like an idiot about it. I can laugh about it now, but damn, that was one of the dummest things I've ever done. Ever.
 
M

M-PG71C

Member
Well, there was this time in elementary school where a girl and I hooked our GameBoy's together to play a Pokemon battle. She said my Butterfree was cute. I said her Charmander looked cool. We then proceeded to talk about our interests in the movie, The Lion King. We decided to play a game called, Simba and Nala. We were tackling each-other, just like in the movie. It was a time like no other, however I failed to capitalize on it.

We should've fucked, huh?
 
V

Vermillion

Banned
Captain Knutsman said:
Feel like sharing, so here goes. Once I was working at a disco cleaning the tables, keeping the bars filled with ice, etc. and keeping restrooms tidy for each sex, meaning I got to spend a lot of time in the girls restrooms (damn they were messy!). Anyways, one night I had just replenished all of the toilet paper and was cleaning out the sink in the girls bathroom. Two semi-regular female visitors are there, and one of them goes to an empty stall and calls my name. I'm like "what?" and she says "Come and see, this needs more toilet paper" *winkywinky*. Me: "nope, I just filled them all up, they're good to go", her: "But this one needs more paper, come and see" *moving around on the spot*. Me: "I'm pretty sure I filled it" *I said slightly embarrassed that she was harrassing my work, telling me what to do*

Left the restroom, and halfway through the dancefloor it hit me, damnit! I was so mad at myself for thinking about work and not eyeing that chance - didn't see her much more that summer :)
Click to expand...

I can imagine you as Ted, lol.

"Nope, I'm preeetty sure it's filled."
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
Snake said:
To the folks rooting for a happy ending after my last post: You should know that I was kind of downplaying just how good things are going right now, due to me wanting to highlight my considerable mistakes rather than essentially brag about the current situation. But people deserve hope so why not.

In truth, things have never been better. We are not only best friends now but are mere weeks away from taking the next step (moving in together and having an actual relationship, not something long distance). While I am a cautious person by nature I totally recognize I've been given a second chance with the closest thing to a soulmate I might have in this world and I have not taken that for granted. It's too late here to write another ten paragraphs detailing things, but suffice it to say that there is a distinct possibility that I'll be married to this amazing girl by this time next year. And, if that is the case, I can assure you there will be a GAF thread (you gotta have priorities after all!!).
Click to expand...

Big%2BBoss.jpg
 
W

Wazzim

Banned
Xun said:
It does upset me that no one has advanced on me, surely I'm not alone?
Click to expand...
I never had direct advances like some in this thread too, only indicators of interest. And that's totally fine, one has to work before he gets paid.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
A girl I didn't know very well asked me to a school dance once. I assumed she was teasing me so I told her "No and go away".

I wonder if she wasn't teasing me. But she was with a group of girls, so I assume she was.

:/
 
D

Dynamite Ringo Matsuri

Member
Man... I hate to admit it, but there were more than a few times really. My best friend once said to me, "dude, you have so much "no game" you don't even realize you're playing"

One time at work, this cute chick is over at my boss' table, she's got pretty wavy brown hair, nice classy black dress, etc. so you know I'm scopin her. I catch her looking my way a few times across the room as I'm packing up ready to leave. I overhear her say, "do you know that guy?" To which my boss jokingly replies, "oh yeah, that's Johnny, he's a sexy Japanese guy! Hey Johnny come over here, she wants to talk to you!"

I walk over and the first words out of her mouth were surprisingly - "genki desu ka?" I think the cogs in my mind were slowly turning, trying to process this situation. I simply reply - "I'm not Japanese, he's messing with you." The girl looks kind of embarrassed and I leave :l

Another time I'm at a gas station and there's this cute red headed girl at the cashier. I got a thing for red heads, so I notice her straight away when I walk in. I'm at the check out and she sees my "I listen to bands that don't even exist yet" shirt and smirks. She compliments me on my shirt and makes some small talk. I don't think much of it.

Next day I'm in, she smiles when she sees me, and noticing that I just have my drink in hand, asks if I've got gas too to stall for time. I say "nah, just the drink" and leave. On the following day she smiles as she sees me, and compliments me on my shirt, and I notice she has a pad and paper in hand. I tell her I get them from Threadless and she writes it down. As I'm leaving, she leaves her post and walks towards me, kinda gives up, and walks back. I think nothing of it. Next day she tries to make small talk about a lemon energy drink I bought. After this incident, I realize she's been flirting with me the entire time and bail out cause I was suffering from one-itis :l

I used to work at a Jack in the box and there was this really cute chick who worked with me. Like really cute, brunette, hazel eyes and a Hollywood smile, the kinda girl who looked like she grew up next door if your life was a TV show on the CW. I'd joke with her at work and everything, and we got along real good but there was an age gap between us. I was 20 at the time and she was 16, so I'm not gonna do anything about it obviously.

Anyway, I end up quitting this place, and one day, on a lark, I step back in for a bite for some reason and she's there behind the counter. It had been two years since I worked there and yet she recognized me straight away. She sends the cashier packing and said she'd take care of me. She had the biggest god damned smile on her face. She'd grown up to be a really beautiful woman. In true me fashion, I proceed to do nothing about it. :l

Lastly, I used to work at a dental office. I remember one day our doctor had a hiring spree to hire some new dental assistants. I remember one day there was this super cute blonde in her 20s in for an interview, she was dressed to the nines and kinda looked like a cross between Kate Hudson and Carrie Underwood with an amazing body. Ass out the wazoo, whooty style. Anyway, she ended up getting the job.

I remember the second day she was in, after the day ended, I began my walk home. I lived about 15 minutes away so I didn't need a car to drive back or anything and the exercise was good and I liked having some time to just think. She saw me leaving the lot and pulled up and asked if I wanted a ride, I said "Nah I live pretty close by". She insisted, so I relented. We talked on the way back and as she dropped me off she offered to take me back everyday. I was kinda weirded out and said "it's not necessary, I don't want to hassle you."

After that, there were a few times I remember where if she noticed me walking behind her in the hallways of our office that she'd lift the back of her scrub top up as she walked so I could get a look at her ass. There were also a couple of times where she'd talk to me in this breathy "Marylin Monroe" tone, really different from her usual tone for no reason at all. I think the capper though, was this one time when we had an office meeting, it was free dress day. She showed up in this tight little tee and yoga pants. Curves exploding everywhere. I was like, "good gravy this girl be lookin fine" that day.

Anyway, there was a computer in the office on the fritz and the doc asked to take a look at it. So I'm down there under the table on my back checking out the connections when for no reason, I hear this girl go, "hold on, I'm coming down there too" and literally crawls on top of me holding a flashlight. So I've got a face full of her tits as I'm trying to figure out this computer. Looking back, there was simply no reason why she would do that if not to send my boneheaded self an obvious fucking signal; I had a light of my own there and she wasn't assigned to check the computer at all.

Sometimes I wish I could time travel back and punch myself in the dick, cause I certainly didn't have any use for it then :l
 
Dice

Dice

Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
Sons, I am so disappoint. I don't know if I can keep checking this thread. It's a serious train wreck, each post another derailed car.

WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY
 
G

Gorillaz

Member
Let me take this train wreck further:


Short verison of it.

Good friends with girl in college
we both commute
she gives me rides home from our class(we both had our last class at the same time)
she invites back to her place(even drives there)
Wants to hang out at her place and "watch TV"
Her neighborhood is full of the most uptight people in the world, and I'm usually not the type to just visit a chicks place unless I know for sure it was cool

I pass
she drives me home quietly
10 mins later I fucking lose it realizing she didn't just want to "hang out"
she drives home.

That was probably thee most oblivious I have ever been to a chick that was making advancements. After that moment I started to be more self aware


I fucked that up gaf
I got back at her later but still......
 
B

Brofield

Member
Just spent the last two hours reading this thread.

I'm not sure if I was oblivious, or incredibly socially inept, or both, but I'd bet the farm on the second. I mean, I couldn't find myself having a minor conversation with any girl I thought mildly attractive throughout high school. Thank God I broke out of my shell when I got to university (though still no luck with women four years later, be it romantically or sexually).

Closest I can come to here is me being somewhat clueless, but coming around when she's still around for me to fix
but still being unable to do jackshit about it
.

Guess we must have been around 15 or 16, both of us. We have to walk up and down a parade route on a cold winter night selling glowsticks. Ignoring my usual high school insecurities (including but not limited to being unable to uphold conversations with mildly attractive girls), I manned up for once, ignoring my usual responses to talk about video games and make mildly offensive jokes with ill-timing. Initially the plan being not caring what she thinks, and doing it for myself.

She's mildly flirtatious at first, and I take it in stride. She says she has some boyfriend issues, and considering dumping him. I'm always single, enjoying it but wondering about the dating world. She ramps up the flirtation, me not realizing. We go into Tim Horton's later, and she grabs my hand to warm hers without warning, so I jump and pull mine away, (cold shock threw me off). We talk a bit more, but I'm starting to withdraw back into my insecure self. Eventually she gets a call from her parents to leave right away, so she says bye, and I mumble a response. After she's out the door, I notice she dropped a plastic ring she was fiddling with earlier, and go to pick it up, and by coincidence I completely tune in to her making advances towards me. I run outside, only to see what must have been her boyfriend holding a rose and her wrapping her arms around his neck. I smirk to myself, think oh well, toss the ring in the grass and walk away to find my own folks and head home.

So, I guess by all rights nothing would have happened anyways, if she decided to get back with her bf at the time, be it for a day or for years. But still, would've been nice to say I had some minor success that I could look back on during my hilariously awkward high school years.

Moral of the story: stick to a plan, and don't care
 
M

Messofanego

Banned
Dynamite Ringo Matsuri said:
So I'm down there under the table on my back checking out the connections when for no reason, I hear this girl go, "hold on, I'm coming down there too" and literally crawls on top of me holding a flashlight. So I've got a face full of her tits as I'm trying to figure out this computer. Looking back, there was simply no reason why she would do that if not to send my boneheaded self an obvious fucking signal; I had a light of my own there and she wasn't assigned to check the computer at all.
Click to expand...

Duuuuuuuuude
 
F

flippedb

Banned
We should have a Clueless-GAF OT somewhere.

I was doing a science project back in 8th grade with a few classmates, 2 hot girls, one ugly girl, two guys and me. We were at the office of Hottest Girl's Dad. They decided they wanted to get something to eat, and so I was left alone with the two hot girls. The hottest one starts a conversation about kissing, and asks me if I want one, the other hot girl joins and now they are both asking for it...I politely rejected their offers. Why? Fuck I don't know, I was 14 and scared I guess. It still haunts me.

Another one, from 2012. I was kinda dating this girl from the Uni. She rents a room nearby the Campus, and one afternoon I was with her she told me there was nobody in the house were she lives. She repeated that a couple times...but I didn't get it until I got home. Boy did I felt stupid.
 
iNvid02

iNvid02

Member
it's summer and a group of us go camping, weather is great and the days long. I help one of my friends put up her tent, a job that at the time was fucking complicated.

later on a few of us go for a swim, by the time we get back it's dark, not pitch black yet but summer dark. everyone who stayed behind has got their shit setup ready for bed. all of us who went swimming just pull up into their sleeping bags - except me who also brought a tent.

setting this up was a two person job, but it was dark and none of my friends offered to help because they were snug inside their bags. they also knew If I couldn't get the tent up I'd probably have to ask one of the guys who had a tent if I could sleep in theirs, or just crash on the grass.

not wanting to be seen as gay by my teenage peers I say fuck it and just lie down on the grass. a short while later my friend comes up to me and says our tent job is failing, so we go back and I help her fix it so it'll make it through the night. i explain to her why I'm sleeping on the floor and we laugh, I tell her goodnight and am about to walk back when she says "hey, do you wanna sleep with me?"

not "you can share my tent" or "do you wanna sleep in here? or "hey get off the grass" " but "DO YOU WANNA SLEEP WITH ME?"

my response: "nah it'll just be weird, the grass is good."



THE GRASS IS GOOD.........

HA HA HA HA. HEY EVERYONE CHECK THIS SHIT OUT, THE GRASS IS GOOD.

sometimes I dream about going back - not to sleep with her, but to find my old self sleeping alone on the grass, pulling off his shorts, ripping his dick off and throwing it in the lake
 
H

Hawkian

The Cryptarch's Bane
Wallach said:
The only way to save that would have been to completely own it instead.

"I denied her my essence, then laughed myself to sleep in the cool evening grass."
Click to expand...
Indeed, that would be a boss move to intentionally refuse. Alas.

edit: George Costanza is seriously considering handing over his crown right now.
 
N

NotTheGuyYouKill

Member
iNvid02 said:
it's summer and a group of us go camping, weather is great and the days long. I help one of my friends put up her tent, a job that at the time was fucking complicated.

later on a few of us go for a swim, by the time we get back it's dark, not pitch black yet but summer dark. everyone who stayed behind has got their shit setup ready for bed. all of us who went swimming just pull up into their sleeping bags - except me who also brought a tent.

setting this up was a two person job, but it was dark and none of my friends offered to help because they were snug inside their bags. they also knew If I couldn't get the tent up I'd probably have to ask one of the guys who had a tent if I could sleep in theirs, or just crash on the grass.

not wanting to be seen as gay by my teenage peers I say fuck it and just lie down on the grass. a short while later my friend comes up to me and says our tent job is failing, so we go back and I help her fix it so it'll make it through the night. i explain to her why I'm sleeping on the floor and we laugh, I tell her goodnight and am about to walk back when she says "hey, do you wanna sleep with me?"

not "you can share my tent" or "do you wanna sleep in here? or "hey get off the grass" " but "DO YOU WANNA SLEEP WITH ME?"

my response: "nah it'll just be weird, the grass is good."



THE GRASS IS GOOD.........

HA HA HA HA. HEY EVERYONE CHECK THIS SHIT OUT, THE GRASS IS GOOD.

sometimes I dream about going back - not to sleep with her, but to find my old self sleeping alone on the grass, pulling off his shorts, ripping his dick off and throwing it in the lake
Click to expand...

iDsABQqkAzX4H.gif
 
J

Johnny Dazzle

Member
iNvid02 said:
it's summer and a group of us go camping, weather is great and the days long. I help one of my friends put up her tent, a job that at the time was fucking complicated.

later on a few of us go for a swim, by the time we get back it's dark, not pitch black yet but summer dark. everyone who stayed behind has got their shit setup ready for bed. all of us who went swimming just pull up into their sleeping bags - except me who also brought a tent.

setting this up was a two person job, but it was dark and none of my friends offered to help because they were snug inside their bags. they also knew If I couldn't get the tent up I'd probably have to ask one of the guys who had a tent if I could sleep in theirs, or just crash on the grass.

not wanting to be seen as gay by my teenage peers I say fuck it and just lie down on the grass. a short while later my friend comes up to me and says our tent job is failing, so we go back and I help her fix it so it'll make it through the night. i explain to her why I'm sleeping on the floor and we laugh, I tell her goodnight and am about to walk back when she says "hey, do you wanna sleep with me?"

not "you can share my tent" or "do you wanna sleep in here? or "hey get off the grass" " but "DO YOU WANNA SLEEP WITH ME?"

my response: "nah it'll just be weird, the grass is good."



THE GRASS IS GOOD.........

HA HA HA HA. HEY EVERYONE CHECK THIS SHIT OUT, THE GRASS IS GOOD.

sometimes I dream about going back - not to sleep with her, but to find my old self sleeping alone on the grass, pulling off his shorts, ripping his dick off and throwing it in the lake
Click to expand...

i1pgiAho0IlWJ.gif
 
A

Aristion

Banned
RobotNinjaHornets said:
She invites me up at 12 o'clock at night for coffee, and I don't go up. "No thank you. I don't want coffee, it keeps me up. It's too late for me to drink coffee." I said this to her. People this stupid shouldn't be allowed to live.

For serious: I don't know. I've never noticed. So either all the time or I just don't get any.
Click to expand...

Dude, this was in a Seinfeld episode.
 
R

reKon

Banned
Snake said:
To the folks rooting for a happy ending after my last post: You should know that I was kind of downplaying just how good things are going right now, due to me wanting to highlight my considerable mistakes rather than essentially brag about the current situation. But people deserve hope so why not.

In truth, things have never been better. We are not only best friends now but are mere weeks away from taking the next step (moving in together and having an actual relationship, not something long distance). While I am a cautious person by nature I totally recognize I've been given a second chance with the closest thing to a soulmate I might have in this world and I have not taken that for granted. It's too late here to write another ten paragraphs detailing things, but suffice it to say that there is a distinct possibility that I'll be married to this amazing girl by this time next year. And, if that is the case, I can assure you there will be a GAF thread (you gotta have priorities after all!!).
Click to expand...

That's great news and I'm very interested in finding out what happens with you. I CAN'T MISS IT!

Best thread ever..
 
R

rpmurphy

Member
I actually remember one. This was like back in 6th/7th grade though, a girl who was a friend of the family for a number of years ended up in the same school and class as me by some stroke of fate (both our families moved around abroad). We were always distant friends though. I was completely clueless to romance at that age, and to compound on that cluelessness, she hardly ever made contact with me even. One day, I found out her family moved across the Atlantic to Scandinavia, and only after that, my best friend straight out told me that she liked me. I let out a neutral "okay", not that it would have made a difference. She gifted me an alarm clock at the time she moved... BUT gave it to my parents, because they left early in the morning while I was sleeping and my folks didn't bother waking me up, so I never got a chance to even say goodbye. Thanks, everyone! Lost contact with her ever since (didn't have email and I sucked at writing letters).

Every once in a while I wonder how she is today, probably would like to look her up on Facebook, but I don't remember her name and it's probably weird now to ask my parents for that information.
 
S

S-Wind

Member
rpmurphy said:
I actually remember one. This was like back in 6th/7th grade though, a girl who was a friend of the family for a number of years ended up in the same school and class as me by some stroke of fate (both our families moved around abroad). We were always distant friends though. I was completely clueless to romance at that age, and to compound on that cluelessness, she hardly ever made contact with me even. One day, I found out her family moved across the Atlantic to Scandinavia, and only after that, my best friend straight out told me that she liked me. I let out a neutral "okay", not that it would have made a difference. She gifted me an alarm clock at the time she moved... BUT gave it to my parents, because they left early in the morning while I was sleeping and my folks didn't bother waking me up, so I never got a chance to even say goodbye. Thanks, everyone! Lost contact with her ever since (didn't have email and I sucked at writing letters).

Every once in a while I wonder how she is today, probably would like to look her up on Facebook, but I don't remember her name and it's probably weird now to ask my parents for that information.
Click to expand...

I don't think it's weird at all to ask your parents for her name.

"Mom, Dad, remember _____________ who moved to Scandinavia with her family? I can't remember her name. What was it?"
 
M

MechaX

Member
Oh fuck me man, it happened again.

As hanging out with a few female and male friends and they were just talking about how they wanted some dates. A few of them look to me, and my friend was jokingly like "well he's single too!" I was watching a football game and the first thing that came to my mouth was "No thanks" without even looking at them.

... I thought about what I said for a second, and had to damage control the shit out of the situation ("you caught me off guard!"). Managed to stay in good graces with one of the females (as in, still have a shot with her), with the other two pretty pissed at me.

I am so bad at this.
 
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