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If you need an opening line, this works wonders:

"What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?"

This accomplishes two things. First, it's just bizarre and different than most "hey" or "sup" ice breakers you come across. Second, it's a message that can't be ignored. Everybody wants to know what the hell the answer is, so there's no chance of not getting a response.

When they reply, you hit them with the punchline:

"Stephen Hawking after a house fire."

Now, if you're like me and find this joke hilarious, then this accomplishes two more things. First, it shows you have a sense of humor. Second, it gauges whether or not the person you're talking to has a sense of humor themselves. If they disappear, you know it wasn't meant to be. It's not worth giving anyone who can't laugh at that joke the time of day, so just give up and move on to someone else. Feel free to drop one more follow-up "Too soon?" if they don't respond after a day or so. If you wait longer without a response, you can even say "Oh shit, you guys weren't related were you?" if that makes you feel any better.

However, if they drop a "lol" or something similar to the original joke, respond with something along these lines:

"Haha, don't laugh at that, you monster."

And from there, you're in. I can't explain why this works so well, but it does. Please post your findings below. You're welcome. That'll be $20.

 

[EverydayBeast]

Online dating is unique, it gives everyone a chance.

 

[ROMhack]

Online dating is a type of cancer. Especially if you're a man because it reinforces the worst insecurities and beliefs you have about yourself.

If you think about it from a womans perspective they have access to a parade of 6ft tall or higher guys who are in fantastic shape and have strong wallets. Why should they settle for an average guy when they seemingly keep offered numerous specimens of raw masculinity? They're spoiled for choice so if you want to stand out you've got to portray a version of yourself that's larger than life.

Your most impressive vacation photos
You wearing your most expensive clothing
You in a group of people at what looks like an exclusive gathering of great looking people
You wearing something that shows off your physique, but not in an arrogant way--so something like a photo of you at the beach holding a frisbee and grinning ear to ear.

And if a woman mentions in her profile that she loves dogs and you better have one, think about how much money you actually have to be able to make to keep a pet in the city. Most apartments dont allow them and the ones that do charge much higher rent. Not to mention the cost of keeping your pooch happy.

I was on that rollercoaster for a while but I got off after realizing how so many of the people i was talking to were nothing special and brought nothing interesting to the table. These days I'm taking a break from that shit and trying to meet people exclusively in person. Harder to hide shit when you're face to face.

Good points with bold. What they do is directly show social capital, which is super important for standing out in a crowded marketplace.

Online dating just feels too passive for me. I'd rather ask a girl out in real life and get turned down because at least I feels like I did something.

 

[TheSadRanger]

Good points with bold. What they do is directly show social capital, which is super important for standing out in a crowded marketplace.

Online dating just feels too passive for me. I'd rather ask a girl out in real life and get turned down because at least I feels like I did something.

I feel like a big problem with online dating is that a lot of women over the age of 27 have the mindset of "I need to find Mr.Perfect right now I don't have time to date"

Which is not a good mindset at all to have when looking for relationships. Relationships start off well and fail all the time, you have to let it organically mature into something long term otherwise it's just creating a larger mess for down the road.

It's better to move on rather than somebody waste decades with someone only to realize they fucking hate each other when their looks fade.

 

[Ownage]

ITT, I will catalogue my online dating. FYI, I'm in Seattle so it's like playing on hard-mode.

Set your profile as Vancouver and enjoy the profits.

 

[ROMhack]

I feel like a big problem with online dating is that a lot of women over the age of 27 have the mindset of "I need to find Mr.Perfect right now I don't have time to date"

Which is not a good mindset at all to have when looking for relationships. Relationships start off well and fail all the time, you have to let it organically mature into something long term otherwise it's just creating a larger mess for down the road.

It's better to move on rather than somebody waste decades with someone only to realize they fucking hate each other when their looks fade.

Yeah very good point. Their bios are often quite straightforward about it, too.

It's a bit of a weird time in people's lives though. I'm 29 and feel a lot of weird pressure I never had 2 years ago. Have to remind myself I'm being stupid most of the time.

 

[Stiflers Mom]

Online dating is unique, it gives everyone a chance.

Not if you are 5 feet and 8 inches tall.
(I am kidding. It's a steep climb, though. I experimented a bit on Tinder, and if I state my height, I get only around 50 matches in 2 weeks, whereas without stating it I got 320 now. )

 

[Dai Kaiju]

While online dating got me laid a couple of times when I was younger, it has been largely damaging to my self confidence. I was perfectly content with how I looked until I found myself not matching with or getting responses from anyone I was attracted to. I wasn't going for bombshells either. I consider myself around maybe a 7 so that's where I was aiming. Then I learned that 5'9 is considered short while I previously thought of my height as average. In the unlikely event I make it passed those hurdles, there's always the dreaded question of "what do you do for a living?" Once I tell them I work at Goodwill, it's a guaranteed ghosting. I do not recommend online dating unless you're a stud, rich, or witty.

 

[Halo is Back]

I'm sorry you went through this, tbh. That's why I'm an incel.

I hope that was a joke

 

[Thabass]

Confirmed. Online dating sucks and no one is damn interesting on it.

 

[Hinedorf]

This year I'll be 10 years married from a girl I met in an online chat. There's nothing wrong with Online dating and I would actively prefer it to ever trying to court a drunk woman in a bar.

How you make it work:
1. Be yourself
2. Be yourself
3. Be yourself

If Online dating isn't working any better than offline dating, it's a YOU issue.

 

[Thabass]

This year I'll be 10 years married from a girl I met in an online chat. There's nothing wrong with Online dating and I would actively prefer it to ever trying to court a drunk woman in a bar.

How you make it work:
1. Be yourself
2. Be yourself
3. Be yourself

If Online dating isn't working any better than offline dating, it's a YOU issue.

Sure, I make every effort to get to know someone, yet they don't ask questions back. So, maybe I expect more, or just online dating sucks.

 

[ROMhack]

Sure, I make every effort to get to know someone, yet they don't ask questions back. So, maybe I expect more, or just online dating sucks.

DW the guy is arguing that online dating in 2020 is the same as it was 2010. Nobody would make that claim about social networking sites, YouTube or even videogame journalism.

EDIT: Even earlier actually as they were married that year. So yeah, disagree with the presumption but congrats!

 

[Macapala]

@Online daters, you might wanna try something else than tinder for something serious, switched from tinder to hinge, less attractive to unattractive girl ratio in general i'd say sorry, but the matches I made there were always more interesting than tinder ones, I also find myself not playing the numbers on Hinge, which i kind of find better.

Hit me up for a paid sponsorship anytime hinge

Just got to thank you, man. You're the reason I tried Hinge. Met my girlfriend a month ago through Hinge.

Thanks mate, seriously.

 

[Melon]

I met my boyfriend online, and we've been together for almost three years now; living together for two. Granted we knew each other online for six years before we started dating. So there is some hope in it, but it's a shitton of work (especially so if you're doing long distance for a bit) Though I didn't meet him through dating sites. I met him through a video game forum. 👁👁

 

[Pumpkin Seeds]

It may have been here where I saw some article about a guy who figured out the algo for dating sites and was able to parse through it to find more compatible people. It got me interested into what they've added to online dating sites in recent years, so I made a profile to see the system... and it doesn't seem all that different from original dating sites. Aging myself here, but I remember old hotornot and one other system I can't think of which were largely similar to what exists now.

Though it's possible there's better features if you pay but I'm not wasting money on what is essentially software testing.

 

[Tenaciousmo]

Just got to thank you, man. You're the reason I tried Hinge. Met my girlfriend a month ago through Hinge.

Thanks mate, seriously.

no problem , i've been with my hinge match since then too. really happy about trying that app.

 

[MiyazakiHatesKojima]

I met my boyfriend online, and we've been together for almost three years now; living together for two. Granted we knew each other online for six years before we started dating. So there is some hope in it, but it's a shitton of work (especially so if you're doing long distance for a bit) Though I didn't meet him through dating sites. I met him through a video game forum. 👁👁

Which video game forum!?

 

[ROMhack]

no problem , i've been with my hinge match since then too. really happy about trying that app.

Yeah Hinge is probably the way to go. I was getting a lot more 'normal' matches on there compared to Tinder which is mainly all slags (sorry, not sorry).

Tinder has a real image problem IMO. I get their email updates and the experience of using the app is nowhere near as mature as the content their marketing team produce.

 

[Wings 嫩翼翻せ]

Tinder has a real image problem IMO. I get their email updates and the experience of using the app is nowhere near as mature as the content their marketing team produce.

The weird thing is, they're definitely aware of it. I guess they're just saving face?

 

[ROMhack]

The weird thing is, they're definitely aware of it. I guess they're just saving face?

It's a big company so I assume they're reluctant to change. I imagine that as long as people are using the app — which they are as it's regarded as the biggest one — then they probably don't care.

How are things with you and the girl you met?

 

[GeorgPrime]

I met my wife on Tinder by accident. Wasnt really looking. I was just bored and thought "She is cute" and wrote her. No answer at first then some small answers but when i talked about traveling she was interested.

She thought first i was just another pervert who is sending dick picks. Thats why she was cautious at the beginning.

Now happily married and she is moving in soon.

 

[ROMhack]

I met my wife on Tinder by accident. Wasnt really looking. I was just bored and thought "She is cute" and wrote her. No answer at first then some small answers but when i talked about traveling she was interested.

She thought first i was just another pervert who is sending dick picks. Thats why she was cautious at the beginning.

Now happily married and she is moving in soon.

Did she get the dick pics in the end though?

 

[GeorgPrime]

Did she get the dick pics in the end though?

Well no pictures.... but not soon after she spent christmas with me and my family and later new years eve with me and some friends of mine.

 

[ThatFrenchGuy]

I met my wife on Tinder by accident. Wasnt really looking. I was just bored and thought "She is cute" and wrote her. No answer at first then some small answers but when i talked about traveling she was interested.

She thought first i was just another pervert who is sending dick picks. Thats why she was cautious at the beginning.

Now happily married and she is moving in soon.

You guys got married before moving in together?

 

[-Troid-]

I mostly never had luck with online dating. Was on Tinder for a while but I barely ever got any matches. And the few dates I went on never went anywhere. Most of which the girls ghosted me after, one of which I told the girl I didn't end up being that interested in (mostly because she was bigger irl than her pictures and she was obviously either just looking to bang and/or mooch off of someone since she was jobless and complaining about living with her dad.)

I did meet my wife on it because I messaged her asking if she wanted to talk some time, and I immediately distanced our conversations from using Tinder and we met in person. At first we were just friends that texted each other, but then it went on to more later on.

But before I got lucky in that aspect it was like 2 years of frustratingly wasted time. Not to toot my own horn, but girls have told me before that I'm attractive. I've been called hot, cute, witty, etc. It seems like in the world of online dating though that didn't matter because I wasn't 6ft tall and rich enough to "travel."

I got maybe 2-4 matches a month with only one girl actually responding to anything I sent them. And no matter what way of breaking to ice I tried it usually led nowhere. I usually tried being funny, but most of the time the girl would just say "I can't take you serious haha" or get offended somehow.

If I tried small talk like a normal person the girl would get bored or somehow find a way to get offended. For instance one time I was talking to a girl who seemed a little on the chubby side. I tried to humble brag that I went to the gym, but she seemingly took it as an insult and blocked me.

Then one of my friends (a dude who's 6'4" and basically got tinder matches for days because of it) suggested just being forward and DTF with girls instead of talking to them normally, since it worked for him. I tried being suave and forward with some girls and they all seemed interested at first but then ghosted me. One girl even seemed really interested but then changed her mind claiming me coming on to her through texting was triggering her PTSD from "being raped twice."

So really no matter what approach I took was fruitless. I basically had given up online dating till I decided to give it a go and message the girl who would later be my wife. I sent her a complement about her smile and asked if she wanted to be friends.

Tl;dr:
Online dating sucks as do 95% of the people using it, but you may get lucky and find a sane person worth being with.

 

[nush]

mostly because she was bigger irl than her pictures and she was obviously either just looking to bang and/or mooch off of someone since she was jobless

Did we match the same girl?

 

[008]

Online dating is great! Go in the mindset of not giving a fuck and set dates/meetup.

 

[-Troid-]

Did we match the same girl?

Probably not. Unfortunately girls being dishonest in online dating is pretty common. Can't call them out on it though because then you'll be "fat-shaming them" or "ableist."

 

[davepoobond]

Online dating is great! Go in the mindset of not giving a fuck and set dates/meetup.

But you have to actually get matches for that to work...

 

[cryptoadam]

I think like most things on the internet online dating has passed its golden age. At first it was seen as geeky and for losers, then it became mainstream and was pretty decent, and now we are on the downward slope. Its basically degenerates and bots with the occasional good person thrown in there. People have moved on. Its like Bitcoin or the dot com boom, we are at the part where the bubble burst and only people in denial are still kicking around hoping to make a quick buck.

 

[GeorgPrime]

You guys got married before moving in together?

At the moment iam still founding a company with friends. I live at my friends place who is also my "boss". I am going back to my hometown to found a second branch of our company at the end of january.

When i go back i will get a new appartment and thats the day when she moves in.

 

[nush]

Probably not. Unfortunately girls being dishonest in online dating is pretty common. Can't call them out on it though because then you'll be "fat-shaming them" or "ableist."

I had sex with her, it was the easiest way to get out cleanly. Plus it was pitched as a hookup anyway.

 

[Melon]

Which video game forum!?

Wouldn't you like to know?

 

[MiyazakiHatesKojima]

Wouldn't you like to know?

 

[Ownage]

make sure to bust massive loads for these randoms

sharing is caring

Nah man, roll bareback, bust a nut and ghost. Be sure and use a fake name and disposable phone number. Peace.

 

[Wings 嫩翼翻せ]

It's a big company so I assume they're reluctant to change. I imagine that as long as people are using the app — which they are as it's regarded as the biggest one — then they probably don't care.

How are things with you and the girl you met?

True fax.

We are both very well actually, thanks for asking! Yeah, we're going to this really nice restaurant in her part of the city tomorrow. A wonderful lass.

 

[Noboru Wataya]

Everyone loves newdz and lewdz, and there is no shortage of titty pics in the online dating world. Shit, it’s the cultural signal for “let’s bone”.

Although for potential relationships, is getting them so easily and quickly a turn off? I’m starting to get proper interested in a girl, but it seems like it’s too easy or something? I didn’t even have to give a little chase. Should I just pump and dump, or give it a proper shot?

 

[royox]

Did we match the same girl?

I did "match the same girl" and we are not even living in the same continent xD

I’m starting to get proper interested in a girl, but it seems like it’s too easy or something? I didn’t even have to give a little chase. Should I just pump and dump, or give it a proper shot?

I'll give you a little piece of advice because I found myself in that same situation: THAT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. Easy, no chase. I felt the exact same with my gf "it's too easy, there's no hunting, no chasing, no anxiety or stress or panic...SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG"....but no! That's the way it should be, natural, easy, no stress, no chasing, no forcing. That's the whole concept of "chemistry between two people".

I kept dating her and suddently we became a couple. It still surprises me how "easy" is everything. Ofc she comes with the whole "woman" package (yes can mean no, no can mean yes, "does this dress make me fat?", "did you find my friend pretty?", etc) but that was always going to be there xD

 

[Orpheum]

Well best of luck. I met my now GF on tinder so in a way i'm thankful i put myself through this^^

 

[newtypepilot]

seems like online dating and escort ads have things in common: photoshop and lies

 

[nush]

I'll give you a little piece of advice because I found myself in that same situation: THAT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. Easy, no chase. I felt the exact same with my gf "it's too easy, there's no hunting, no chasing, no anxiety or stress or panic...SOMETHING MUST BE WRONG"....but no! That's the way it should be, natural, easy, no stress, no chasing, no forcing. That's the whole concept of "chemistry between two people".

Ever heard the saying in dating "When it's right, you don't even have to try"? Two of my best relationships were firmly in that camp.

 

[008]

But you have to actually get matches for that to work...

Have decent pictures, hit the gym, and have a life.

problem solved

 

[davepoobond]

Have decent pictures, hit the gym, and have a life.

problem solved

"to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe"

 

[Daxter32jak]

If a woman asks me for my height I follow up by asking ‘how much do you weigh’

I’m 5’11

 

[OP 90s JRPG Party Member]

How you make it work:
1. Be yourself
2. Be yourself
3. Be yourself

This is the worst advice, I don't know why people spout this cliche. The world is full of people who should be acting like someone else.

 

[Vicetrailia]

Met my girlfriend on tinder

 

[Noboru Wataya]

Date night tonight, getting on like a house on fire. Again it’s all a little too perfect, waiting for the big daddy catfish.

 

[ROMhack]

Met my girlfriend on tinder

Can confirm. I met this guy's girl on Tinder too.

 

[008]

"to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe"

bone the single moms and don’t wifey them. They love guys without kids

continue hunting until you find a woman you want