No, the exact the opposite. They were saying that some people are alone and live fine lives and I can too, but it starts with acceptance. So that's what we worked on. And that worked in a sense, I accept my situation but it doesnt make the situation better. It still sucks.
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Where my incels at?
- Thread starter bbmcgee
- Start date
- Status
The truth will set you free. cheesy but it applies sometimes.
Peggies
Gold Member
I'm really sorry, OP. Your situation sucks and I truely hope it'll work out for you but the thing is, you probably smell of desperation. Women (and men too) don't like that because human beings usually don't like to be leaned on (because they're needy creatures). But in order for you to feel less desperate, you need a girlfriend.
Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
Kevin Hart is 5'2" you quit your pity party now.
John Bilbo
Member
Best of luck to you, man. I am a bit surprised by the reactions in this thread as I've read tons of posts from many of the users here. The lack of empathy is out of charts.
No use hitting your head against the wall. Those who are willing to see the world through your eyes will do so. Others will not.
No use hitting your head against the wall. Those who are willing to see the world through your eyes will do so. Others will not.
I'm really sorry, OP. Your situation sucks and I truely hope it'll work out for you but the thing is, you probably smell of desperation. Women (and men too) don't like that because human beings usually don't like to be leaned on (because they're needy creatures). But in order for you to feel less desperate, you need a girlfriend.
Eh, I dont think I was desperate until many years into being rejected constantly. And I'm certainly not desperate now, Ive given up all hope of it even happening.
What does that have to do with me? I never said I'm too short to be a famous comedian.
Good that things got better for you.
'Just live my life' though has lead to this though, nothing good came of it for me.
I appreciate it man.
I think there's some kind of overreaction to the Andrew Tate side of the internet, and the result is men like me get treated like shit and told we're horrible people from strangers online. I dont even like Andrew tate/
Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
What's it got to do with you? He's shorter than you and married. So I've given you the example of my short Central American coworkers, my friend with 3rd degree burns on his face and a black guy who is shorter than you. I guess you're just special. Do you think Kevin Hart would be where he is with your attitude? Don't bother answering. I know you'll give more sad negative excuses as to why everyone can do it but you can't.
Reizo Ryuu
Member
It doesn't mean much in the relevance to this discussion, there's a whole range of things between "involuntary" celibacy and reproducing; I smash plenty but I don't want kids.
winjer
Gold Member
We live in an age of easy birth control, but this is a recent thing.
Most of humanity had very little control over reproduction.
Reizo Ryuu
Member
Yes, so seeing how we live in the now, how many men have reproduced ever isn't relevant, it's just another statistic OP could use to reinforce his pity party.
winjer
Gold Member
It's not just ancient history.
Liljagare
Member
It's nothing new, but I guess folks reading about everything on social media, how successfull tons of people are, just makes people think, that, that is the norm, that is how life should be? News flash, life mostly sucks, then you die, that is the norm.
How you deal with it, that is how you can build on to make relationships happen.
How you deal with it, that is how you can build on to make relationships happen.
If Keven hart wasnt famous, or rich, and was of my generation, I dont think he'd be in a good spot.
Central American people and the one guy you know with burns arent relevant to me either.
Your anecdotes dont mean anything, the facts are what they are. If you want to ignore national trends because of Kevin hart and your friend with burns, I wont stop you.
It tells you that women and dating etc isnt an egalitarian game where everyone gets there share. Its actually by nature a winner take all thing where the top men get most of the women.
And that is what society is moving more towards now, because women no longer care as much about having kids or being married.
In the black community, most women with kids are single moms. There are more men fathering tons of kids out of wedlock, usually the same men. They're attractive and often dangerous thug types. And then there's tons of guys who are single. Thats how it works.
And then of the remaining women, many do the 'im independent and want to stay single, I'll just fuck some bad boys on the side when I get the urge'
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Reizo Ryuu
Member
No, all it states is an amalgamated statistic taken from all of human history without looking at all the possible variables that caused this, and disregarding that many of those variables don't apply to the time you're actually living in; but I get it, it's a nice thing to quote if you want to shift blame to the defeatists "life isn't fair" so you can go sit in a corner and sulk while shaking your fists at clouds, but what it doesn't do is actually help you. As many have said already, you need to stop seeking confirmation bias with all of those doom and gloom articles and statistic and take control of your own destiny; this means doing things you're not going to like all the time, faking that you are into something even "if it's not your thing" and generally just keep trying, because nobody is going to give you anything in life if you don't go out and get it.
Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
The only fact is that you just want a pity party if they can do it so can you. Kevin Hart at 5'2" wouldn't be married or famous if he had your attitude.
Nydius
Member
To be fair, you've kinda earned it. Every time people give you advice, you come back with reasons and excuses as to why that advice isn't worth your time. You're the only one who can change your situation and the constant, Eeyore-esque, "why bother?" negativity is a large reason why you're finding it difficult to establish any relationships.
In my previous post I wrote that I probably wouldn't bother dating now if anything happened to my wife. Yes, part of that is because of the way social media has warped people's expectations. However, it's largely because I've invested 22 years (and counting) of emotional capital into this relationship and if anything happens to her I'm just not going to have any left to give that would make me feel comfortable having another relationship. I was certainly no looker in my younger years: Skinny as fuck, nerdy dude with braces and big ass rim glasses that my cheap ass dad picked out because he wouldn't let me get anything nicer. I went through a lot of rejection in high school and the first couple years of college. The rejection hurt like hell, but I kept trying. I could have made excuses and just given up, but I didn't, and eventually things turned around when my attitude did.
As I read your replies to everyone, it's clear why you have a hard time finding anyone interested, and "I'm short" or "modern women amirite?!" isn't the issue. It's your general attitude and blatantly obvious lack of confidence. No woman is going to want to be with someone who enters into a relationship already expecting it to fail with pre-baked excuses about why it did.
Your constant excuses and negativity remind me of this:
TheDreadBaron
Member
I think you’ll find that people here are generally tagged with things that came out of their own mouth. Those are your own words about yourself. You wouldn’t be wrong to call it bullying, but then you would have to admit you’re bullying yourself too, which is your whole problem in the first place that people have been trying to help you with. Mods are just acknowledging how you self identify, maybe you should change how you think of yourself instead if playing victim when you hear your own words echoed back.
Toons
Member
Literally every person I see married from the previous generation to mine is overweight, not particularly handsome, and not particularly well off. Both the males and often the females. Sometimes just the males.
Where do yall live where the only folks with sculpted chins and chiseled abs making 300k a year are getting sex ?
Its not that hard. And I'm saying that as someone who is single. Itd easy to go down this path of resentment snd negativity but there's another way.
Where do yall live where the only folks with sculpted chins and chiseled abs making 300k a year are getting sex ?
Its not that hard. And I'm saying that as someone who is single. Itd easy to go down this path of resentment snd negativity but there's another way.
Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
I dont have any confirmation bias, I didnt ask anyone for their opinion on my situation. I know my situation.
Also, funny how random people's anecdotal examples are somehow valid but hard large scale data is irrelevant. You people are clowns
Most people arent famous either way. Lots of people arent married either way. Some of the best people I know are single.
we dont live in a just world, and that especially includes dating which is largely governed by luck and genetic traits.
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To be fair, you've kinda earned it. Every time people give you advice, you come back with reasons and excuses as to why that advice isn't worth your time. You're the only one who can change your situation and the constant, Eeyore-esque, "why bother?" negativity is a large reason why you're finding it difficult to establish any relationships.
In my previous post I wrote that I probably wouldn't bother dating now if anything happened to my wife. Yes, part of that is because of the way social media has warped people's expectations. However, it's largely because I've invested 22 years (and counting) of emotional capital into this relationship and if anything happens to her I'm just not going to have any left to give that would make me feel comfortable having another relationship. I was certainly no looker in my younger years: Skinny as fuck, nerdy dude with braces and big ass rim glasses that my cheap ass dad picked out because he wouldn't let me get anything nicer. I went through a lot of rejection in high school and the first couple years of college. The rejection hurt like hell, but I kept trying. I could have made excuses and just given up, but I didn't, and eventually things turned around when my attitude did.
As I read your replies to everyone, it's clear why you have a hard time finding anyone interested, and "I'm short" or "modern women amirite?!" isn't the issue. It's your general attitude and blatantly obvious lack of confidence. No woman is going to want to be with someone who enters into a relationship already expecting it to fail with pre-baked excuses about why it did.
Your constant excuses and negativity remind me of this:
I never asked anyone for advice. I know my situation. But, if you're going to give me unsolicited advice, and its things I've already tried before, I'm not going to pretend its some revelation. Nothing new has been said that I havent heard before and found to be false.
yes, lets shit on people who are down on themselves even more by embarrassingly labeling them all over the website. Ok
Key word there is 'previous generation'. Social media, dating apps, feminism, and other factors have changed a lot of things.
I never said only sculpted chins and 300k people have sex. But its absolutely true that women's standards have risen, and particularly a lot of less attractive men are finding little to no options. Which is why
InterMusketeer
Member
And then what? Online discourse about this subject is toxic, unproductive, and even potentially dangerous. You've seen it in this very thread. I recommend not responding anymore. It's not helpful to you.
I'm familiar with situations like yours. I have friends whose health prevents them from getting and maintaining relationships. You're not alone. All you can do is distract yourself with other things you do have control over, whatever those may be.
The pain never goes away. It's like mourning a life that never came to pass. But there's no alternative but carrying on. Everyone needs to vent sometimes and talk about their feelings, but it's best to do that with close friends and not online with strangers who don't know you, and whose intent you don't fully know.
In any case, I wish you all the best.
Maybe it sounds crazy to you but those things just dont move the needle for me. For one thing, its not like I walk around shouting my alma mater every 5 seconds. Most women that I talk to dont know and dont care. All they see is my face/ how I look. And of the people that for some reason know, the ones that care are the ones who want to be with someone rich which I am not and never will be.
I'm in shape, but women who value that probably also dont want someone so short or with an ugly face. If physical matters, they arent picking me.
And again, as I keep reminding everyone, the black community is particularly dysfunctional and doesnt value education and the women HATE short men with a passion. I'd be better off as a felon tbh.
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And then have a discussion about our experiences, how we're dealing with our situation etc. I dont think this site is toxic, I think we should be able to discuss this like adults. But peoople came in to derail with bad advice nobody asked for, and to put me down. Ok.
Its actually not best to discuss this with friends. I've found that it just depresses people and you are putting a weight on them that they dont want. With my friends I try to forget this chit. Online, people can opt in to the discussion voluntarily.
I think I realized the pain is never going to go away and its a bad situation where you're just chasing things to temporarily dull the pain at best. its not good but its the reality of the situation. Appreciate the well wishes.
Reizo Ryuu
Member
Of course you do, otherwise you wouldn't be out here mentioning nonsense statistics about how at one point in human history reproduction might been 1 man for every 17 women; it's completely irrelevant to the time you're living in and is just harmful reinforcement.
Well at first you didn't say a whole lot, just that it matter of factly supposedly has become impossible to date; of course people are going to share their opinion lol.
I haven't said that, but sure, they are valid in the sense that it isn't in fact impossible to date.
Not really (unless you insist on referring to ancient history), just that it's possibly leading to a negative reinforcement spiral, that obviously isn't doing you any good.
This isn't doing you any good either.
Seem like you are the expert and your fate has already been decided; good luck.
Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
You didn't mention anger as one of your problems but here we are. You should probably call it a day bud you starting to meltdown
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nush
Member
We’re entering Elliot Rodger zone now…
Crash Station
Member
Haven't logged in in years but wanted to see the site's opinion on Israel/Palestine since that's relevant to me and I spot this thread. Hilarious the first thread I post in since 2020 is a damn incel thread, lol.
Anyway, there is an insane lack of empathy in here for a very real and growing problem among men. Yes, OP's attitude is extremely defeatist and possibly self-fulfilling, but anyone in here giving him "tough love advice" probably would be too after going through years of rejection, trying everything in their power to make it work. There are some people so priveleged that they truly cannot wrap their head around the idea that some people are unfuckable.
With that said B bbmcgee , I don't believe you are one of those people, not to mention you've already implied you aren't a virgin. Height, race and appearance can lead to disadvantages, but they are not wide-reaching dealbreakers even when combined. Attitude seems to be your problem, and that can change. It might not be easy, and I don't know you well enough to suggest what needs to be done to do it, but everything you've said suggests your problems are more internal than external. Maybe it's crippling enough where that would never be fixed, but trust me when I say I believe in your ability to succeed here.
For you and the people that think unfuckable people do not exist, let me tell you about someone that cannot succeed no matter how much effort is put in; me. Of course my problems go beyond just being short and ugly, though those 2 things do effect me and to the extreme. I am 4'7, and while I don't want to go into details for privacy reasons, let's just say my appearance is comparable to Joseph Merrick's. Despite that, I have tried to lead a relatively positive life within reason. I have never been cruel to people, even if the bitterness over how unfair life is has seeped out in some interactions. I've even made friends, though have also lost many not through my actions but assumptions over how I might act with absolutely no basis in reality. Things like sex are completely off the table since it is impossible for me to hit on women without coming off as creepy. Not to say I didn't try, and I've even done many of the things suggested in this thread over the span of 2 decades. Not only did it never work out, it even made me a pariah in several communities.
To really drive home how bad it is, let me tell you a bit about my experience with therapy. I have been in therapy my entire life, and despite showing no open suicidal ideation, three separate therapists brought up the possibility of assisted suicide. All but one immediately told me to give up on anything resembling romance or sex, and the one that didn't eventually changed their tune after a few sessions.
Many online friends are aware of my situation and some brought it up to their women friends that loved the idea of taking the virginity of someone allegedly unfuckable. They saw it as a challenge. I accepted and set up a date to meet one. She changed her mind when she was in the same room as me and said "I can't do this". That happened 4 more times with varying levels of disgust, though with one we both got our clothes off before she changed her mind and was still at least a little nice about it. Each one was a crushing hit to my self-worth, though I'd still take those opportunities again even if there was only a 1% chance or less of someone, somewhere actually sticking to their word and going through with it. What's fucked up is there are men that have offered that I am fairly certain would actually go through with it, but unfortunately, I am straight.
I've come to accept I will die a virgin, which won't be too far in the future since I'm already nearing my life expectancy. The opportunity for sex just isn't there. But I don't think that applies to most incels, and certainly not the OP. But like I said, it might be hard to make the changes to actually create those opportunities. Just know that they aren't insurmountable like they are for me.
Anyway, there is an insane lack of empathy in here for a very real and growing problem among men. Yes, OP's attitude is extremely defeatist and possibly self-fulfilling, but anyone in here giving him "tough love advice" probably would be too after going through years of rejection, trying everything in their power to make it work. There are some people so priveleged that they truly cannot wrap their head around the idea that some people are unfuckable.
With that said B bbmcgee , I don't believe you are one of those people, not to mention you've already implied you aren't a virgin. Height, race and appearance can lead to disadvantages, but they are not wide-reaching dealbreakers even when combined. Attitude seems to be your problem, and that can change. It might not be easy, and I don't know you well enough to suggest what needs to be done to do it, but everything you've said suggests your problems are more internal than external. Maybe it's crippling enough where that would never be fixed, but trust me when I say I believe in your ability to succeed here.
For you and the people that think unfuckable people do not exist, let me tell you about someone that cannot succeed no matter how much effort is put in; me. Of course my problems go beyond just being short and ugly, though those 2 things do effect me and to the extreme. I am 4'7, and while I don't want to go into details for privacy reasons, let's just say my appearance is comparable to Joseph Merrick's. Despite that, I have tried to lead a relatively positive life within reason. I have never been cruel to people, even if the bitterness over how unfair life is has seeped out in some interactions. I've even made friends, though have also lost many not through my actions but assumptions over how I might act with absolutely no basis in reality. Things like sex are completely off the table since it is impossible for me to hit on women without coming off as creepy. Not to say I didn't try, and I've even done many of the things suggested in this thread over the span of 2 decades. Not only did it never work out, it even made me a pariah in several communities.
To really drive home how bad it is, let me tell you a bit about my experience with therapy. I have been in therapy my entire life, and despite showing no open suicidal ideation, three separate therapists brought up the possibility of assisted suicide. All but one immediately told me to give up on anything resembling romance or sex, and the one that didn't eventually changed their tune after a few sessions.
Many online friends are aware of my situation and some brought it up to their women friends that loved the idea of taking the virginity of someone allegedly unfuckable. They saw it as a challenge. I accepted and set up a date to meet one. She changed her mind when she was in the same room as me and said "I can't do this". That happened 4 more times with varying levels of disgust, though with one we both got our clothes off before she changed her mind and was still at least a little nice about it. Each one was a crushing hit to my self-worth, though I'd still take those opportunities again even if there was only a 1% chance or less of someone, somewhere actually sticking to their word and going through with it. What's fucked up is there are men that have offered that I am fairly certain would actually go through with it, but unfortunately, I am straight.
I've come to accept I will die a virgin, which won't be too far in the future since I'm already nearing my life expectancy. The opportunity for sex just isn't there. But I don't think that applies to most incels, and certainly not the OP. But like I said, it might be hard to make the changes to actually create those opportunities. Just know that they aren't insurmountable like they are for me.
Shifty1897
Member
The grass is always greener on the other side. Maybe you're married and have kids but now you're also broke, exhausted, and longing for a time when you still had control over your life.
I'm not angry at anyone. Annoyed is the better word. I like logical thinking which is clearly lacking in here
Relationships and marriages can go wrong. But its still very obviously worth the effort because the alternative is to live a lonely, meaningless life with no love or family because you have no balls to take the chance.
I need time to write a proper response to this, just wanted to say thank you and acknowledge this. This is the kind of stuff I was hoping might come out of this thread. Thank you.
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Oh stop. I'm talking about the black community, not rich white mass shooters.
The fact is black women have a very narrow view of masculinity that includes things that criminals possess, which is why so many of them have kids with men in jaiil etc.
Kenpachii
Member
Get money, travel to amsterdam. book a hooker. Fuck her like no tommorow. congratz you had sex.
If you are disformed and " unfuckable ", search a woman that falls in the same bracket. Or start to hit plastic surgery.
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When you get low enough on the totem poll, a large amount of women 'in the same bracket' would rather just be single. A lot of you really have no clue whats going on.
Why are increasing numbers of women choosing to be single?
The word ‘spinster’ is still freighted with pity and misogyny, yet the number of women living this way is growing. Emma John says it’s time to reconsider what it means to be ‘never-married’
www.theguardian.com
Crash Station
Member
Funny you mention that. Was actually in Amsterdam in March. When I walked down the red light district, ALL the women closed the blinds/curtains/whatever. Maybe if I actually walked into one of the places, they'd take my money, but I'm not cruel enough to do that if they were THAT uncomfortable. Either way, I don't have the money to go again, so it's a moot point now.
Due to the structure of my body, plastic surgery has a very real chance of killing me. Why speed up the inevitable when I only have a few years left anyway? I at least want to see the end of One Piece (it's going to be close, but I hope I can make it).
As for finding women like that, I think OP is right that they don't really need to lower their standards for me. How do I know? My cousin is in a similar situation, but she's even worse as she's in a wheelchair while I can actually walk. She also has a terrible attitude, refuses to bathe, and will spit on people for no reason randomly. She has been married for 5 years now.
Got any more suggestions? I'm not saying that to be condescending, but I've heard it all. If someone actually comes up with something doable, I'll take that opportunity instantly. It's just funny to see people try to come up with solutions when faced with an honest to god lost cause.
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Kenpachii
Member
When you get low enough on the totem poll, a large amount of women 'in the same bracket' would rather just be single. A lot of you really have no clue whats going on.
Why are increasing numbers of women choosing to be single?
The word ‘spinster’ is still freighted with pity and misogyny, yet the number of women living this way is growing. Emma John says it’s time to reconsider what it means to be ‘never-married’
A far larger group of woman do not want to be single, a thing u start to ignore entirely because u are completely focused on everything that fits your dog shit attitude towards dating. stop visiting dumb metrics that don't effect you for shit.
U want to bitch about not being able to get anybody, because u put zero effort into trying to get shit done. I told you a few pages ago how u can change your life and your reaction is "i won't humiliate myself". then stay single and bitch about websites that conform your lazy zero effort output as no woman will care for shit about it.
You are a guy, u are mend to hunt and u are mend to improve until u get somebody. It's that simple. U are misformed get surgery done, u are short and can't get a "normal girl" start dating midgets u are a giant to them and if u want kids u can always adopt if u don't want to risk the midget genes. endless options.
Sitting there, telling yourself "life sucks" is not going to get you anywhere.
Like other people already told you, and i told you. It's in your brain. U are healthy, u got money, u got your shit together. Tons of woman that search that shit if it was only for the stability of having some guy take care of them.
And if woman from your "culture" only want to stay single, maybe its time to move out of your "culture" and start widening your view with getting a girl out of a 3rd world country that wants nothing else then a future that isn't in a piss poor country.
So many options, yet u choose "useless metrics that confirm your negative views"
Kenpachii
Member
They are whores, they will fuck you no problem no matter how you look like that's there job. Get more money, return and congratz u aint a virgin anymore.
As a dutch guy i always laugh about the whole US "virgin" shit. it's like work a day at mcdonalds and u already got enough money to fuck a whore. Virgins here are non existing and if u are its not even a bad thing if u are happy with it.
I dunno what your health situation is, and how disformed you are. If u are disformed enough and can't get sugary then yea u just have shit luck in life i guess. My suggestion is to start searching for other people with the same problems and even adress a dating organization that can hook you up with people with the same problems. There are also clubs for all kinds of people in life that have certain disability's to get people in contact with each other and u can see if u can get something out of that.
Midgets here for example have meet ups specifically for them in order to get relationships formed out of it and friends for younger people. As in the normal world u don't find many of them. They have shit like this for every disability etc.
Also u don't have to worry about "woman having to lower there standards" to date you. It's non of your concern what woman do or won't do. focus on shit that u have effect on.
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This isnt true, because it entirely depends on who you are and how low you are on the scale. As you get lower on the scale, it very quickly becomes true that the vast majority of women have absolutely zero interest in you and would rather be single. The one's that have low enough standards that you would actually be considered, are very quickly taken, because they dont have high standards. If you dont get someone early it becomes much harder as you older. thats the facts for your ass.
The things you said are things I've done before over the course of decades. You said absolutely nothing new, and the shit doesnt work for me. You're ignoring everything I've ever done in order to shit on me and say ' you put in zero effort'. ok. if the very things you told me to do, dont count, why did you tell me to do them?
Here's the funny thing about the female preference for height. It has absolutely nothing to do with how short the woman is. Many many many short women will tell you you gotta be 6ft tall. Women hate short men, regardless of how short they themselves are. Similarly how ugly people dont find other ugly people or attractive, or fat men dont automatically like fat chicks.
Clueless. Unless you are legitimately rich and can enhance a woman's lifestyle into another stratosphere, money makes absolutely no difference. Women dont get wet from the nerd working at google with a high salary. If you're broke, that can disqualify you from a long term relationship. but just being a regular guy with a good job really doesnt mean shit anymore. times have changed.
Getting used by a woman who just wants to escape her country? yea, great idea. I wonder what would happen once she gets what she wants. i'm sure she'll definitely stick with you.
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Jsisto
Member
Frankly, I’m tired of people giving advice when most of the time it just won’t apply to the people that are struggling. The thought is of course nice, but that’s how I and many others feel.
Have I completely given up? No, I don’t think that’s healthy, but neither is holding to the ideal that “there’s someone out there for everyone!” or ”just be yourself! Be nice!” It’s mostly BS. I was married and divorced from a woman that in all likelihood just used me as a crutch to get out of her previous relationship, and cheated on me within a year of getting married. Im 37, 5”4, balding, skinny as hell despite making real efforts to get in shape and build muscle, and not very attractive, and I have kind of a weird face. I’m pretty damn self aware and acutely aware that im basically invisible to most women. It is what is.
Have I completely given up? No, I don’t think that’s healthy, but neither is holding to the ideal that “there’s someone out there for everyone!” or ”just be yourself! Be nice!” It’s mostly BS. I was married and divorced from a woman that in all likelihood just used me as a crutch to get out of her previous relationship, and cheated on me within a year of getting married. Im 37, 5”4, balding, skinny as hell despite making real efforts to get in shape and build muscle, and not very attractive, and I have kind of a weird face. I’m pretty damn self aware and acutely aware that im basically invisible to most women. It is what is.
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Crash Station
Member
lol, yep, a bunch of suggestions I've done before.
I only mentioned Amsterdam because you did, but that's not my first experience with sex workers. I've found some elsewhere and they either flat out said no or charged an absurd amount (one in particular said "sure, for $100,000). I tried sexual surrogacy and they wouldn't take my money because they said I needed insurance, and when I said I would pay out of pocket they said the place doesn't allow that (this was a lie, I checked the website and called before hand and I'm pretty sure they didn't take insurance anyway since sexual surrogacy rarely does that).
I started a Facebook group for my disability a decade ago and even got a bunch of people in it. I tried to plan a meet up every few weeks, but only one guy would go who I consider a very good friend, but he's a man. Every once in a while, there would be one or two other people in the meet up, but they'd never go more than once and no one was looking for romance.
I am focusing on the stuff I can effect. Virtually every suggestion in this thread that I'm physically able to do has been tried over the span of many years Outside of the broader trend of men and women not being equal on this front, I don't hold any malice for any individual person, and I'm well aware I'm the one that got the shit draw and it would be unfair to blame anyone in particular for it. But keep the suggestions coming, I'm genuinely curious if I'll finally get a new one after 38 years of being given platitudes from people that think they'd do any better in my situation. There's still a lot I tried that I haven't talked about.
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Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU. Its really.....unbelievable but I'm not that surprised. A lot of people are frankly too solipsistic to believe anything outside of their own experience. And when it comes to this issue, they like to protect their own egos I think ("I get women cause I'm some charming, confident man, not because of shallow reasons I had nothing to do with").
All I can say is it still sounds like you played the hand your dealt the best you could. Thats all anyone can do. It sounds like you did everything you could do, but ultimately reality is what it is.
One of the ways I'm coping is just being honest about what my potential actually is and trying to judge myself from that. And from that standard, you have to see yourself as a success too. You had a hand and have made the most of it from what it sounds like, despite how painful. You still won man. And I dont know the specifics, but if your life expectancy is indeed shorter than usual, I hope you've still had the chance to get everything you possibly can out of your life. sounds like you deserve at least that much.
My results just havent at all correlated with anything attitude related. Contrary to some of the weird assumptions being made about me, I wasnt born thinking women hated me. it was only after all of my experiences that I had no choice but to conclude the obvious.
If someone hypnotized me to thinking I was the most attractive man on earth, nothing would change. I would just get rejected and come back down to earth. Reality is what it is.
Frankly, if I ever did try to get advice from anyone I wouldnt listen to anyone who doesnt live in the same country as me and isnt the same race, at a minimum. its just different worlds in my experience. But I still appreciate your perspective on your own situation.
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