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[teezzy]

We all know that PC gaming is for uber chads like Terry Crews, Henry Cavill, and Linus Sebastian. Hell, even King Chad: Joe Rogan himself was hooked on Quake via a T1 Line back when he still had hair.

Nothing more manly than getting inside the machine and building your own rig - am I right, boyz? More power. More better.

That led me to thinking which would be the console for chads? The answer was obvious. Lol, definitely not the Switch, which is clearly for widdle babies. Widdle babies who poop their diapers still.

Then I thought about Xbox and how it's mostly known for Halo, Gears, and Forza, repeat. All very masculine and positively dude-bro. Muscles, guns, guns with chainsaws, and cars - heck yeah. Bro stuff.

Then we got the one and only Phil Spencer. The manliest man in the video game industry currently.

I mean which one of these dudes is more likely to bone your wife behind your back and then beat you up while laughing?

Oh - and remember the Duke? Hell yeah you need man hands made of iron and knuckles of stone just to hold it. NAMED AFTER JOHN WAYNE, HIMSELF. JOHN WAYNE, guys!!! THE DUKE!!!

Let's face it, Xbox is for dude bros. Just look at the feminine curves of the PS5 compared to the bulk of the Series X...

PS5 is built so you can play like The Last of Ellen Page 2 and Horizon Red Haired Chick Dawn, and whatever obscure body pillow wall scrolled JRPG that Xbox rejects to include via GamePass

Did I mention the Bethesda deal? It's like Xbox just keeps getting more and more manlier. Xbox lifts.

$7.5 Billion dollar studio acquisitions
12 Teraflops

The numbers don't lie my friends. Made in America, the manliest and most free of nations - Xbox is for chads.

In closing, apart from maybe Kratos (someone tell that man he is on the wrong console!) who simply agrees with me on the simple truth here...

Xbox is simply more masculine and dude bro approved. It's the console which represents me, a manly man.


Thoughts?
​

 

[digoutyoursoul]

When I turn my Xbox on

 

[Concern]

Makes a lot of sense

 

[Zuzu]

Yep, absolutely, Xbox is clearly the alpha, and PS5 the beta.

 

[Rickyiez]

Since when Neogaf became a playground for kids(or manchild) ? I remember there used to be more interesting threads .

 

[MasterCornholio]

Yeah it's a man's console.

 

[alabtrosMyster]

I'd say xbox is more like a bunch of overly aggressive betas who keep yapping all the time to get attention.

PS is the strong silent type.

 

[sircaw]

Are you calling xbox people a bunch of dickheads?

 

[teezzy]

Since when Neogaf became a playground for kids(or manchild) ? I remember there used to be more interesting threads .

 

[DaleinCalgary]

Are you making fun out of my future PS5meatcurtain.

 

[Birdo]

Made in America, the manliest and most free of nations

They are made in China.

 

[CurtBizzy]

 

[kyoji]

xbox a kids console confirmed.

 

[kingpotato]

Rare footage of OP found after intense investigation:

 

[teezzy]

CatLady GET ITT!!!!

 

[Stooky]

 

[Yoboman]

 

[Flying Toaster]

I respect the hustle.

 

[teezzy]

Exhibit B:

 

[Aion002]

That's probably true.

Since I like babes and I dislike dudes.... Maybe that's why I like Playstation sooo much.

Also.... That also explains why the Xbox one is the only one to not have DOA 3 Xtreme. There's no market for it....

 

[Elginer]

Sure OP. Very American. Very Maga. (Make American Games Again) I salute you sailor

 

[I Love Rock 'n' Roll]

So XBOX is for gay?!? I should have know with the double X.

XX = the same two X standing together = same sexe = Xbox is for gay.

Well then, fuck me Microsoft.
My body is ready. Those 12 TFLOPS... hmmm.



Is Alex gay too? #JustAsking

 

[Neo Blaster]

Another day, another pointless thread.

 

[RayHell]

Xbox is for men who need to be reassured with their masculinity.
PlayStation is for other people.

 

[Vawn]

So masculine...

 

[teezzy]

That's probably true.

Since I like babes and I dislike dudes.... Maybe that's why I like Playstation sooo much.

Also.... That also explains why the Xbox one is the only one to not have DOA 3 Xtreme. There's no market for it....

We had it first, jabroni and it was exclusive af:

We figured the ladies deserved to be where they fit in more. Kinda like how you don't see dudes at Forever 21 unless they're waiting outside the dressing room with their face in their hands

Next caller

 

[KingdomHeartsFan]

Sorry bro Marcus aint the face of Gears anymore

this is the new face of gears

So masculine.

 

[KingdomHeartsFan]

All this thread really needed was this pic

 

[Shrap]

It's more obese, that's for sure. A clever way to let the world know it's an American console.

 

[Empire Strikes Back]

Is that supposed to be a good thing? I don’t get it, lol.

 

[Aion002]

We had it first, jabroni and it was exclusive af:

We figured the ladies deserved to be where they fit in more. Kinda like how you don't see dudes at Forever 21 unless they're waiting outside the dressing room with their face in their hands

Next caller

Different times... At that time Itagaki was in charge and he knew that the edge lord console was Xbox and since he is an edge lord:

But it sold poorly and now Koei, sometimes, pretends that the Xbox doesn't exist.... Sad.


Today Xbox is all about:

Shit got too weird...



Here is a Kat for happines:

 

[CatLady]

Xbox is definitely the Chad and Chadette machine.

Real manly men and real womanly women, no blue-haired whiny screeching feminists for Xbox. Why do you think those weirdos all dye their hair blue?

 

[Husky]

Xbox is definitely the more macho machine, but people who play on PlayStation are a lot cuter.

 

[Yoboman]

Xbox is definitely the Chad and Chadette machine.

Real manly men and real womanly women, no blue-haired whiny screeching feminists for Xbox. Why do you think those weirdos all dye their hair blue?

Two blue hairs here alone, a couple purple, even more big reds

 

[teezzy]

Xbox is definitely the more macho machine, but people who play on PlayStation are a lot cuter.

Yeah, sure, uh-huh, yeah, sure...

 

[Jboemios]

S

That's probably true.

Since I like babes and I dislike dudes.... Maybe that's why I like Playstation sooo much.

Also.... That also explains why the Xbox one is the only one to not have DOA 3 Xtreme. There's no market for it....

Still hurts. Hope it come back in series x

 

[lock2k]

 

[Piku_Ringo]

OP had waaaaaaaaay too much

 

[Arkam]

By console design alone (hard angles vs curves) the OP is correct.

 

[Tschumi]

If i wanted a giant rectangular black penis, the XSX is the giant rectangular black penis I'd want.

 

[teezzy]

If i wanted a giant rectangular black penis, the XSX is the giant rectangular black penis I'd want.

 

[Hendrick's]

Xbox is the Trump of consoles. Let's make gaming great again.

 

[Piku_Ringo]

Exhibit B:

Same guy who wore lipstick in Get Shorty and rocked a skirt for The Game Plan

 

[kretos]

Does that mean if i say i'm an xbox fan i can get all the honnies

 

[teezzy]

Does that mean if i say i'm an xbox fan i can get all the honnies

Legiterally yes

 

[Hendrick's]

Does that mean if i say i'm an xbox fan i can get all the honnies

No. It means guys that get all the honnies are also Xbox fans.

 

[Iced Arcade]

On a scale of 1 to potato.... How high are you?

 

[Lethal01]

Unfortunately I like women.
Sorry xbox

 

[Lethal01]

Same guy who wore lipstick in Get Shorty and rocked a skirt for The Game Plan

If you aren't manly while wearing a dress you weren't very manly to begin with.

 

[teezzy]

On a scale of 1 to potato.... How high are you?

Honestly dude? I don't do drugs or drink at all

I was born this way. Like Man Gaga