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how do you justify watching porn to your SO

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DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
Seriously DY. If you have a gf don't you want to just sex her? I like porn like any other guy but it drops to zero when I have a gf. Not some mushy shit either I just think about smashing it.
So I'm supposed to pretend that out of all the beautiful women in the world have zero effect on my penis all of a sudden? That's not how it works.

Once I'm in a relationship, I don't sign my orgasms off to her alone. Hell, the thought of one single entity controlling all of MY sexual urges is fucking absurd and terrifying to me. I don't even see a point in getting in any kind of closed relationship primarily for sex. Its asking to be put on a leash - to be dependent like that.
 

noah111

Still Alive
So I'm supposed to pretend that out of all the beautiful women in the world have zero effect on my penis all of a sudden? That's not how it works.

Once I'm in a relationship, I don't sign my orgasms off to her alone. Hell, the thought of one single entity controlling all of MY sexual urges is fucking absurd and terrifying to me. I don't even see a point in getting in any kind of closed relationship primarily for sex. Its asking to be put on a leash - to be dependent like that.
Can't tell if you're talking about porn here or just smanging other people on the side.
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
Can't tell if you're talking about porn here or just smanging other people on the side.
Are you one of those people that think that porn/masturbation=cheating on your SO=checking out other people while out with your SO?

Because there is some pretty significant space in between each one of those things.
 

SBH

Member
Are you one of those people that think that porn/masturbation=cheating on your SO=checking out other people while out with your SO?

Because there is some pretty significant space in between each one of those things.

If I thought like that I couldn't live with myself + I would be insanely jealous all the time. Sounds such a horrible way to live.
 

noah111

Still Alive
Are you one of those people that think that porn/masturbation=cheating on your SO=checking out other people while out with your SO?

Because there is some pretty significant space in between each one of those things.
lol No. Does anyone actually think this anymore? Seems like a high school thing. Even if a girl isn't comfortable with that, it's not even in the same ballpark as actually cheating. In any way.
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
lol No. Does anyone actually think this anymore? Seems like a high school thing. Even if a girl isn't comfortable with that, it's not even in the same ballpark as actually cheating. In any way.
Then how did you get to that from my post?

16 year olds, sure. They're almost expected to say immature shit like "Im only attracted to that one person and no one else. We're made for each other." That's not how it works though. And I have no idea why some in this thread equate relationships with non-stop free sex on demand either. On top of that, if you don't understand yourself sexually - and how you change in this area over time - then you're doing your SO a disservice as well as yourself. If you can't identify what hits your buttons then how can you let them know over any period of time? Just make it up as you go? Hope for fireworks from the start? It doesn't work like that. It leads to confusion, dependency, mixed signals, and generally just things going wrong that don't have to. When they want to please you and you don't know how to tell them how you roll dice.
 

noah111

Still Alive
Then how did you get to that from my post?
I didn't, was just saying how your post could be interpreted as advocating 'open relationships' and whatnot. ;)

On top of that, if you don't understand yourself sexually - and how you change in this area over time - then you're doing your SO a disservice as well as yourself. If you can't identify what hits your buttons then how can you let them know over any period of time? Just make it up as you go? Hope for fireworks from the start? It doesn't work like that. It leads to confusion, dependency, mixed signals, and generally just things going wrong that don't have to. When they want to please you and you don't know how to tell them how you roll dice.
Agreed with all that, for sure. But where does watching porn fit into that?
(I'd rather experiment together in a clear relationship than experiment on myself because i'm not getting off enough with them.)

Are you saying the only way to understand yourself sexually and what pushes your buttons, is by masturbating to porn on your own? Or am I misunderstanding your point.
 

S-Wind

Member
My ex watched way more porn than I ever did =D

I greatly appreciated and benefited from her voracious sex drive so I never had any problems with it.

We broke up because we didn't have the same goals when it came to having kids: she wants kids; I do not.
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
I didn't, was just saying how your post could be interpreted as advocating 'open relationships' and whatnot. ;)


Agreed with all that, for sure. But where does watching porn fit into that?
(I'd rather experiment together in a clear relationship than experiment on myself because i'm not getting off enough with them.)

Are you saying the only way to understand yourself sexually and what pushes your buttons, is by masturbating to porn on your own? Or am I misunderstanding your point.
Its definitely not the only way wtf

You make it sound like there's full blown porn addiction and nothing at all as the only options in this. Porn is one way. A much safer way than figuring it out on the go with people that are actually considering investing in you whilst you're figuring out that missionary has nothing to do with a piledriver and that maybe some people get weirded out by eye contact while getting head. Do you like a loose grip on yourself or an irongrasp. Are you a naturally submissive person? What do you consider "too messy?" Do you like carefree, casual stuff or are you addicted to creating a scene every time you have sex? Do you like/need/hate dirty talk? What are your boundaries? What are your boundaries with this type of person? Some (many) need the visual aid to get to these ideas before the situations actually occur. Almost all of it can be found in porn.

And it happens to be entertaining.

There's a lot more to this than busting a nut outside of your assigned vagina.

Also, maybe people don't want to wait around for you to figure it out. While you're trying to explore like Groundhog's Day, you're shooting yourself in the foot. Somebody else can circumvent your whole process and guess that tune in 8 notes as you're asking for mutual understanding while babystepping into a mature relationship.
 

noah111

Still Alive
By not having an SO.
KafSk.gif


You make it sound like there's full blown porn addiction and nothing at all as the only options in this. Porn is one way. A much safer way than figuring it out on the go with people that are actually considering investing in you whilst you're figuring out that missionary has nothing to do with a piledriver and that maybe some people get weirded out by eye contact while getting head. Do you like a loose grip on yourself or an irongrasp. Are you a naturally submissive person? What do you consider "too messy?" Do you like carefree, casual stuff or are you addicted to creating a scene every time you have sex? Do you like/need/hate dirty talk? What are your boundaries? What are your boundaries with this type of person? Some (many) need the visual aid to get to these ideas before the situations actually occur. Almost all of it can be found in porn.

And it happens to be entertaining.

There's a lot more to this than busting a nut outside of your assigned vagina.
Porn can be used to help you understand yourself more, sure. But let's keep it real, to think that's what most guys use it for (rather than just 'busting a nut') is wishful thinking.

Sex is a two way street so this 'porn can be like self-help' angle of self-discovery doesn't really apply that well imo. I've found out many times that I actually like certain things that I didn't in porn, and vice versa. It's not really the best rule of thumb to think its safer to discover more about yourself and how to interact with a partner, by not interacting with a partner.

Porn can only go so far to let you know what pushes your buttons, but I do get the specific use-case you're describing. Either way the point comes back to masturbation, which is different from exploring porn to better your relationship. In any case there shouldn't be any judgment from either side about watching porn.

PS. "maybe people don't want to wait around for you to figure it out." I didn't realize enjoying sex was a formula you have to get down for yourself. :lol Your groundhog edit is a bit contradictory, no?
 

GRW810

Member
My wife loves when I watch porn. She loves me watching porn when she's not around. She loves me watching porn when she is around. One of her biggest thrills is me telling her about, or showing her, what I've watched. She loves watching porn too.

We're both fully aware that there is no such 'masturbation or sex' choice and that they are both healthy options. We're also fully aware that watching videos of other people having sex doesn't equal cheating or longing for someone else; I can't even begin to imagine why a partner would think that.
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
KafSk.gif



Porn can be used to help you understand yourself more, sure. But let's keep it real, to think that's what most guys use it for (rather than just 'busting a nut') is wishful thinking.

Sex is a two way street so this 'porn can be like self-help' angle of self-discovery doesn't really apply that well imo. I've found out many times that I actually like certain things that I didn't in porn, and vice versa. It's not really the best rule of thumb to think its safer to discover more about yourself and how to interact with a partner, by not interacting with a partner.

Porn can only go so far to let you know what pushes your buttons, but I do get the specific use-case you're describing. Either way the point comes back to masturbation, which is different from exploring porn to better your relationship. In any case there shouldn't be any judgment from either side about watching porn.

PS. "maybe people don't want to wait around for you to figure it out." I didn't realize enjoying sex was a formula you have to get down for yourself. :lol Your groundhog edit is a bit contradictory, no?
Why do you read every post and come to a black/white conclusion? From this page to the last its just jarring.

At what point did I ever say the sole purpose of masturbation was self-help? When did I say that it was the only way? Why do you still treat masturbation as if it is still done primarily in harmful ways? Treating any of that like its a simple and "allowable" action is probably a sign that you should devote more thought to the subject. At this point it'd serve the conversation better if YOU described what is and what isn't, plainly, so that others reading aren't thrown by your moving platform.

Also your interpretation of the edit is comically naive. Yes. Enjoying sex is not a box to be checked. There's a lot more to the sexual depth of relationship outside of what you're implying. To put it simply - if you don't know yourself, you're making it harder for your SO to understand you and in that you will put a lot of interference into a line of communication that will be strained anyways - and the amount of people willing to be patient with others as they figure things out is much, much smaller than many would like to believe or imply.
 

DonasaurusRex

Online Ho Champ
I watch it when shes not around.

/thread

theres no justifying it unless you've got that servant girl gf just do whatever you want type hook up. Some girls want to be your source of ...that kind of fulfillment like the only source. So what do you want more the porn or the girl....or if you find a way both...
 
My loads will be smaller and thus she'll have less semen in her mouth?

Yes this is HIGHLY offensive, but I think justifying pornography is somewhat immature.
 
My wife and I have been watching porn together since we were dumb 18 year olds. It's rarer these days but we still do it every now And then. We also watch porn alone and sometimes even masturbate alone lol. We don't see anything wrong with it.
 

Damaged

Member
Lucky to be in a situation where she reccomends any good porn she finds. Major change from my past relationship where she considered it cheating if I went near the stuff.
 

xelios

Universal Access can be found under System Preferences
Darksol said:
I work in a sex shop and I don't need to hide porn from my SO--we watch it together :p

That's cool. What's the ratio of couples coming in vs people by themselves?

Don't u have like a 2 inch dick?

:lol

That doesn't matter tho. Size doesn't matter.. Girls get more pleasure from oral sex. And I'm fucking amazon at that.


Joke character confirmed?

Because half your own posts are tryhard tales attempting to prove to GAF you're not really baby Simba in a lion suit.
 

FreeMufasa

Junior Member
Almost five Mandingo.

I just play it up for laughs. Kind of like you in reverse.

That girl was like "is it in yet??" Omg....wow :lol


iBcexTwbKsGxx.gif


That's cool. What's the ratio of couples coming in vs people by themselves?






Joke character confirmed?

Because half your own posts are tryhard tales attempting to prove to GAF you're not really baby Simba in a lion suit.


We had a thread a few months ago. Gaffers were using oral skills to excuse their nubs.
 
That girl was like "is it in yet??" Omg....wow :lol


iBcexTwbKsGxx.gif
That gif is awesome.

And yep, she totally said that. I wasn't playing on the absurdity of men questioning the size of their penis. Hell I even called a five inch dick a micropenis. To some it may be, but if you're naked and she's naked I think the length of your dick is one of the last things on her mind. If anything women and men both have some strange hangups about their genitals.

Spurred on by society at large. A vagina has to look a certain way otherwise its a sloppy roast beef sammich, a man, anything under 10 inches is just not enough.

It's all absurd. Given the human race started with sizes not unlike your standard modern ape. Which is to say... teeny tiny. Hygiene for both parts should be preferable. Don't want her to be sweaty, fishy, swampland. Don't want him to smell of cockcheese.

I'm lucky in that regard. My penis has been called cute by both men and women. Not huge not small, but cute. Bisexuality is where its at. So many options if you come up short with someone, you'll be "just right" to another.
 

Rootbeer

Banned
I can't see myself with anyone who doesn't value porn on some level, or at least allow ME to value it. I'm not straight though, you guys have all my sympathy for having to fight battles like this at every turn.
 
This reminds me of a dude I once met who claimed he never jerked off because he was hooking up with so many women from craigslist. Bullshit. Every man wanks unless he has a serious medical issue preventing it.
 

besada

Banned
I don't have to justify my use of porn, because my wife is a reasonable person who knows that my masturbation has nothing to do with my feelings for her.
 

Klyka

Banned
no justification needed.

my GF is absolutely fine with it and watches it herself too.
it's not like i am cheating on her or anything,i'm just doing what i've always been doing to release myself.
 
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