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First look at new Conan (Schwarzenegger: "My bod laughs at your bod.")

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R

Replicant

Member
Byakuya769 said:
Yea. People are complaining cause the guy doesn't fit their roided up Gears of War homoerotic fantasy.
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Gears of War? Gross. More like Chris Redfield's RE5 hot body.

And oh, this guy is not hot enough.
 
P

PhoenixDark

Banned
-Mikey- said:
Pretty sure those pics are from A Game of Thrones and not from the set of the new Conan movie. I saw those posted a few days ago from http://winter-is-coming.net/.
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They're from Conan; WiC just posted them because the actor will also be in Game of Thrones.

Ok, the Robert E Howard comments do say giant, but the initial depictions of Conan showed a rather lean warrior. Considering this is basically "young Conan" it looks perfect to me
 
M

MaxSteel

Member
yeah - the original conan is neither roided out nor a dumb lumbering hulk. wasn't he a prince at one point who left his home for adventure?

personally, i love the arnold conan - but saying this new stuff isn't canon isn't true
 
D

Dan Yo

Banned
Combine said:
I was about to say that the 300 or Spartacus actors are all far more ripped than this guy. Was this the best they could really find?
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These are his younger years. Before he became dedicated and really started hitting the gym.
 
A

Alfarif

This picture? uhh I can explain really!
Sabotage said:
conansrs.gif
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Oh god, this is perfect. I need to rewatch these films. They were absolutely fucking amazing.

This new Conan is not cut enough, not big enough, and not mean looking enough. I don't think that fucker could even swing a plastic sword. He looks terribad and makes me retch just thinking about this movie.

I get a Scorpion King vibe from this entire thing.
 
A

AkuMifune

Banned
Krom laughs at this girlie man.

Also, Conan was never a "young wild barbarian". He was a slave pushing a wheel while the weak died around him until adulthood.
 
S

Szu

Member
Great, the new Conan was on Baywatch. Well, if Conan has to run across a beach into an invading army, he's got the look for it.
 
R

RustyNails

Member
Alfarif said:
conansrs.gif

This new Conan is not cut enough, not big enough, and not mean looking enough. I don't think that fucker could even swing a plastic sword. He looks terribad and makes me retch just thinking about this movie.
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Jeez, just look at that. Not pictured in the gif is the subsequent immediate impregnation of 100 women who Conan inadvertently looked at while feasting.
 
S

sparky2112

Member
Alfarif said:
Oh god, this is perfect. I need to rewatch these films. They were absolutely fucking amazing.
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Amazing in an absolutely craptastic way. They were abysmal. There is nowhere to go but up for Conan on film. Not that this time around WILL go up...
 
A

Anton Sugar

Member
DrBaalzamon said:
Krom laughs at this reboot. He laughs from his mountain.
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I was hoping someone would get my quote reference in the title :(

Also, all those people saying "OMG CONAN WASNT HUGE UR HOMOEROTIC STUPID" need to read Aske's post.
 
Stitch

Stitch

Gold Member
doesn't really matter who's playing conan. it's made by marcus nispel so it's gonna suck anyway.
 
S

Spike Spiegel

Member
Mr. Snrub said:
I was hoping someone would get my quote reference in the title :(

Also, all those people saying "OMG CONAN WASNT HUGE UR HOMOEROTIC STUPID" need to read Aske's post.
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Here's the rest of that segment from Wikipedia, though:

Conan has "sullen" or "smoldering" blue eyes and a black "square-cut mane". Howard once describes him as having a hairy chest and, while comic book interpretations often portray Conan as wearing a loincloth or other minimalist clothing, Howard describes the character as wearing whatever garb is typical for the land and culture in which Conan finds himself. Though Howard never gave a strict height or weight for Conan in a story, only describing him in loose terms like "giant" and "massive", he did once state that Conan and another of Howard's characters, the crusader Cormac Fitzgeoffrey, were "physical doubles" at 6'2" and 210 lb (188 cm and 95 kg, a description of Howard's own height and weight). In the tales no human is ever described as stronger than Conan, although several are mentioned as taller (such as the strangler Baal-pteor) or of larger bulk. In a letter to P. Schuyler Miller and John D. Clark in 1936 only three months before Howard's death, Conan is described as standing 6 feet and weighing 180 pounds when he takes part in an attack on Venarium at only 15 years old, though being far from fully grown. Although Conan is muscular, Howard frequently compares his agility and way of moving to that of a panther (see for instance "Jewels of Gwahlur," "Beyond the Black River" or "Rogues in the House"). His skin is frequently characterized as bronzed from constant exposure to the sun. In his younger years, he is often depicted wearing a light chain shirt and a horned helmet, though appearances vary with different artists.

During his reign as king of Aquilonia, Conan was "... a tall man, mightily shouldered and deep of chest, with a massive corded neck and heavily muscled limbs. He was clad in silk and velvet, with the royal lions of Aquilonia worked in gold upon his rich jupon, and the crown of Aquilonia shone on his square-cut black mane; but the great sword at his side seemed more natural to him than the regal accoutrements. His brow was low and broad, his eyes a volcanic blue that smoldered as if with some inner fire. His dark, scarred, almost sinister face was that of a fighting-man, and his velvet garments could not conceal the hard, dangerous lines of his limbs."[7]

Though several later authors have referred to Conan as "Germanic-looking", Howard imagined the Cimmerians as a proto-Celtic people with mostly black hair and blue or grey eyes. Ethnically the Cimmerians to which Conan belongs are descendants of the Atlanteans, though they do not remember their ancestry. In his fictional historical essay The Hyborian Age, Howard describes how the people of Atlantis — the land where his character King Kull originated — had to move east after a great cataclysm changed the face of the world and sank their island, settling where northern Ireland and Scotland would eventually be located. In the same work, Howard also described how the Cimmerians eventually moved south and east after the age of Conan (presumably in the vicinity of the Black Sea, where the historical Cimmerians dwelt).
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So, fault the 6'4", 210lb. Momoa for not having a square-cut mane of hair or blue eyes, fault him for being a bad actor, fault him for not being born Arnold Schwarzenegger; but don't fault him for not being big enough or muscular enough or tan enough to play Conan, when he easily fulfills those requirements as envisioned by Howard himself.
 
M

Manos: The Hans of Fate

Banned
Stitch said:
doesn't really matter who's playing conan. it's made by marcus nispel so it's gonna suck anyway.
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That's true the fucktard will find a way to make Hyboria look like Texas (Chainsaw Massacre)...as he's done in every goddamn movie he made.
 
J

JdFoX187

Banned
Anyone using Arnold's two movies as a knowledge base for the Conan lore really has no idea what they're talking about. He was a large, muscular man, but he wasn't a muscle-bound weightlifting dude like Arnold was in his movies. Not to mention the only thing they have in common is the name and a few very vague similarities. I hope Nispel sticks closer to Robert E. Howard's original stories than Arnold's versions. And this is coming from someone who really enjoyed them, at least Conan the Barbarian that is.
 
Space Runaway

Space Runaway

Member
RustyNails said:
Who the F is Marcus Nipple?
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Last three movies he directed that weren't straight to tv or video were the TCM remake, Pathfinder and the Friday the 13th remake...None of those give me any faith in him.


JdFoX187 said:
Anyone using Arnold's two movies as a knowledge base for the Conan lore really has no idea what they're talking about. He was a large, muscular man, but he wasn't a muscle-bound weightlifting dude like Arnold was in his movies. Not to mention the only thing they have in common is the name and a few very vague similarities. I hope Nispel sticks closer to Robert E. Howard's original stories than Arnold's versions. And this is coming from someone who really enjoyed them, at least Conan the Barbarian that is.
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It's fine if they want to stick closer to Howard's yarns but I think the pure visual look of Conan and his world that were defined by Frazetta (Which is what Barbarian went for) is too solid to move away from.
 
B

besada

Banned
Guy looks okay to me. No idea whether he can act or not, but he can't do worse than the Governator.

I always hated his Conan. Conan climbed tall towers barehanded and dropped to his feet like a cat. Arnold moved like a steroidal Frankenstein. Conan was frequently saved by his flexibility. Arnold could barely lift his hands over his head.

Should have black hair, though.
 
L

Laguna X

Nintendogs Member
Space A Cobra said:
Last three movies he directed that weren't straight to tv or video were the TCM remake, Pathfinder and the Friday the 13th remake...None of those give me any faith in him.
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Of those, the only one I've seen was Pathfinder. Movie was fucking terrible. I'm expecting more of the same here.
 
S

Stinkles

Clothed, sober, cooperative
AkuMifune said:
Also, Conan was never a "young wild barbarian". He was a slave pushing a wheel while the weak died around him until adulthood.
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Whom I assume he ate. Which is quite barbaric.
 
B

BattleMonkey

Member
MaxSteel said:
yeah - the original conan is neither roided out nor a dumb lumbering hulk. wasn't he a prince at one point who left his home for adventure?

personally, i love the arnold conan - but saying this new stuff isn't canon isn't true
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In the old old stuff, but especially after the movie, conan was pretty much turned to a rip giant dude in everything Conan related.
 
M

Manos: The Hans of Fate

Banned
besada said:
Guy looks okay to me. No idea whether he can act or not, but he can't do worse than the Governator.

I always hated his Conan. Conan climbed tall towers barehanded and dropped to his feet like a cat. Arnold moved like a steroidal Frankenstein. Conan was frequently saved by his flexibility. Arnold could barely lift his hands over his head.
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commandowrong.gif

commandoshedscene.gif
 
W

Wallach

Member
besada said:
Guy looks okay to me. No idea whether he can act or not, but he can't do worse than the Governator.

I always hated his Conan. Conan climbed tall towers barehanded and dropped to his feet like a cat. Arnold moved like a steroidal Frankenstein. Conan was frequently saved by his flexibility. Arnold could barely lift his hands over his head.

Should have black hair, though.
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I don't know about that. I mean, there isn't really a way to live up to Howard's Conan in reality - Conan wasn't the physically largest man in Hyboria but he was always portrayed as the strongest, and was just as frequently saved by his unreal strength as he was his agility and cunning. Bit of a "mary sue" really, but that was sort of the point of the character.

You can't really fault them for using a guy like Arnold. I think you're exaggerating his demeanor - even when he was that ripped back then, he wasn't an ogre; he still had decent speed about him. But it's harder to convince an audience that your protagonist is the strongest warrior ever if he doesn't look like he could actually tear off your arm.
 
A

Aske

Member
Spike Spiegel said:
Here's the rest of that segment from Wikipedia, though:
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I don't know how seriously we can take a comparison Howard made to a correspondent in a letter without any form of context - especially when that comparison claims that Conan's proportions exactly mirror Howard's own. But regardless, given the words he actually used to describe Conan in his writing, I think it's reasonable to view just how physically imposing Conan is as being relative to the expectations of the reader. 6'2" and 210 lbs might have felt mighty to a man living in 1930s America, but I think the legend has to grow with the expectations of readers - especially since Howard never truly canonized Conan's height and weight.

A 'giant' is significantly larger than 6'2"/210lbs in this day and age; so unless every other man in the movie is cast significantly smaller than average, a 2010 Conan needs to look a good deal more imposing than Momoa. His height is far from bad, but in terms of his overall build it's hard to call him a giant of a man.

Spike Spiegel said:
So, fault the 6'4", 210lb. Momoa for not having a square-cut mane of hair or blue eyes, fault him for being a bad actor, fault him for not being born Arnold Schwarzenegger; but don't fault him for not being big enough or muscular enough or tan enough to play Conan, when he easily fulfills those requirements as envisioned by Howard himself.
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Howard didn't envisage Conan's bronzed skin as the result of a richly mixed racial heritage. Conan is a sun-beaten, weathered Caucasian. His is the sand-blasted skin of a wandering badass, not the natural bronze of the half-Polynesian Momoa. Conan is a proto-Celt, and ethnically similar to the pre-Anglo-Saxon tribes of Great Britain. Skin tone aside, the guy who portrays him should look more European.

To be honest, I can't think of anyone off the top of my head who embodies Conan physically, let alone someone who can also portray a more complex character than Arnold's attempt. Most of the WWE candidates that I can think of don't have the bearing to pull off Conan, but no one outside pro wrestling seems to have the build. And the performance has to be subtle. The character is more like an animal than a man in many ways; but that doesn't make him the one-dimensional beatdown machine of the old movies. He should have as much going on behind his eyes as a panther. A perceptible intellect that hasn't been moulded by civilized society. That's the essence of Conan.
 
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