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Cringe I think blew it with this girl...

Vier

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On the other hand, you kept your wizard powers for a while longer yet.
 

Alter_Fridge

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If she comments on your life in a playful negative type way, just hit her back with the 'I'm sorry who are you?' type retort.

No actually, do the aloof thing. But don't concede

A playful putdown is still a putdown
 
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Goro Majima

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Sep 2, 2007
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So a co-worker of mine developed a crush on me. I'm not the smartest person in the world but I picked up on that. Things like asking personal questions (like do you wanna have kids or get married), light touches while asking how was my day, laughing at my jokes (sexual ones too), and she talks to her mom about me. Her mom works there too so she approves of me.
Not gonna lie I started to like her too.

I know we're not supposed to shit where you eat but fuck dude, I've rarely had this happen to me. I was kinda settled into being forever alone kind-a-guy. Family members would ask when are you getting a girlfriend and I'll just give them a non-answer.

So one day, she hits me with the "So when are you gonna take me out?" Oh shit. My dumbass told her that I needed to get my shit together as in, I didn't have a car nor a driver's license to take her somewhere...However, She did say could pick me and so no worries.

Weeks later I was chatting around my co-workers about how I was getting a PS5. lol She kinda roasted me. "How are you gonna get your shit together then turn around and get a PS5". I knew I screw up at that point. She still flirts with me and even suggested that we hang out. But I think any romantic feelings she had for me are gone. Sucks because I thought my coomer days were ending.

What do you think, GAF?

The worst part of the story is that you talked about taking her out, you still hadn't sealed the deal, and now there's a story about something happening weeks later.

I get that she eventually got COVID but something I found to be consistently true in my life is that you have to strike while the iron is hot. The second piece of dating advice is to go in for a kiss at some point during the first date which is just another extension of my first piece of dating advice which is striking while the iron is hot.

Whatever you're going to do, you need to do it soon because it's not going to get easier in some vague future.
 
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borborygmus

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Don't be a doormat. Purchase whatever you want. Women pretend they want a doormat but then they find you pathetic if you live up (down?) to that expectation and they will either get away from you or dominate you completely.

Women have concerns. All the time. 24/7. But they don't give it to you straight. Most of the time they don't even realize that they're acting out on a concern. They bring them up in various veiled ways. It's not about the Ps5, it's about you. She's trying to see if you're going to be a noncommittal bum who's just gonna escape into video games because she perceives that as a real risk. You can address that concern without having to give up video games.

In fact, giving up your hobby is the worst thing you can do. She won't respect you for being such a doormat, you'll lose your hobby, and you will have missed the point and her concern will fester. Even if you don't want to pursue her and just want to be a tease, you should still address the concern. If the ball is in your court you should always hit it back. Make it a rule to never fail a shit test.

This is all evolutionary. Women's MO is to make their concerns visible to males. The males are then supposed to resolve them. This is often a fitness test and may involve the competition of several males. The first part of resolving it is identifying it. Those who can't identify the actual concerns are considered unfit.


edit: Also, if you're nervous, don't be. Recognize that humans of either sex are not magical. Women are essentially hairy, facepaint-wearing pregnancy beasts.

edit2: I'm sure that last bit is gonna offend people. I recommend reading it in Bill Burr's voice.
 
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jadedm17

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Sep 24, 2009
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^Wha? Give up your hobby? You can enjoy a hobby and not have the latest and greatest. Its called balance and everything needs it.

If she can't accept your decision in buying a PS5, imagine actually living with her seeing all of your faults. I don't want to be a downer, but it's something to think about.
Don't change yourself for a woman. It's not worth it and she'll probably resent you in the end. Just be yourself.

To be fair he said he doesnt have a car or license...
Unless hes in a big city Id say shes fair in questioning his priorities.
Add in the price of a worthy TV and youre well over my first cars price. lol
 
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borborygmus

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^Wha? Give up your hobby? You can enjoy a hobby and not have the latest and greatest. Its called balance and everything needs it.



To be fair he said he doesnt have a car or license...
Unless hes in a big city Id say shes fair in questioning his priorities.
Add in the price of a worthy TV and youre well over my first cars price. lol

He should get his license and a Ps5.
 

JimmyRustler

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You know how riddiculus it is to assume one comment of you could simply wash away the feeling for you? If there were any that is.
 
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Admerer

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Sep 3, 2020
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Don't worry OP, she'll get tired of you being a beta and move on as soon as someone else enters the picture.

If you want a relationship with this girl stop acting like the girl, how about pursuing her for a change?
The only thing you got to lose is your autistic-like behavior around woman.
 

Alex Anderson

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You're not getting any younger dude. Take advantage of the opportunity I say. Who knows when and if the next will come at the rate things are going for you.

You're 29. Girls aren't going to look any better the older you get.

I'm in poor mental health. Been out of the dating pool since my early 30s because of it. If I didn't luck into having a relationship with a girl my freshman year in college I'd be so much more down on myself.

Thank god I didn't get her pregnant.
 
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M1chl

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I mean it's not over, like some small bump and you are going to give up? Seems like you are somewhat inexperienced (which no shame in that). Just laughed it off and keep pushing. More like keep going.

However like asking about kids and marriare, seems like a massive red flag. However I recognize that you probably want to smash at your age, so I don't know. Better to risk it, then have some crippling depression when you reach 30.

Don't worry OP, she'll get tired of you being a beta and move on as soon as someone else enters the picture.

If you want a relationship with this girl stop acting like the girl, how about pursuing her for a change?
The only thing you got to lose is your autistic-like behavior around woman.
Not all women are for Alphas, this is sounds like a salty incel/shortguy rant. She did ask him first, so I am sure that she can be the stronger one. You underestimate women and their thrist to be powerful.
 
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wolfmat

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The heckling is normal. You've got to see past the heckling. Maybe heckle a little bit yourself, see how it feels.

Also, take it easy. Keep things on the fun side. Relationships aren't switch flips, they grow. Try hanging out with her (after the 'rona of course) and see where it goes. It's not just about whether you guys sort of flirt with each other, it's also about whether you can chill together regularly. The heckling is just a part of that water-testing.
 

DonJorginho

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OP I got with a girl who was a bit like the girl you are describing, we were together for 5 years and I wish we ended it after 6 months.

Girls/anyone like that who pick on every fault of yours are toxic and not who you want to be around with, let alone dedicate yourself to in a relationship.

The right one will come OP, head up and keep going brother.
 
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Stiflers Mom

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OP I got with a girl who was a bit like the girl you are describing, we were together for 5 years and I wish we ended it after 6 months.

Girls/anyone like that who pick on every fault of yours are toxic and not who you want to be around with, let alone dedicate yourself to in a relationship.

The right one will come OP, head up and keep going brother.
I really think she was just nagging him with this since she probably sees this "not getting my shit together" as the fault for him not asking her for a date.
I don't really think she hates PS5s... :D
 

DonJorginho

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I really think she was just nagging him with this since she probably sees this "not getting my shit together" as the fault for him not asking her for a date.
I don't really think she hates PS5s... :D
Oh yeah same here, I can imagine this kinda girl picking on many things though down the line.

If she hates PS5s though... Then that ain't even worth a one night stand.
 

M1chl

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OP I got with a girl who was a bit like the girl you are describing, we were together for 5 years and I wish we ended it after 6 months.

Girls/anyone like that who pick on every fault of yours are toxic and not who you want to be around with, let alone dedicate yourself to in a relationship.

The right one will come OP, head up and keep going brother.
This really does not take into accountr OPs situation, damn he is 29 and never had any relationship, even as a learning experience about how women work could be this relationship highly beneficial.
 

Stiflers Mom

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Oh yeah same here, I can imagine this kinda girl picking on many things though down the line.

If she hates PS5s though... Then that ain't even worth a one night stand.
I know it sounds like bragging, but I really threw a girl that I met through Tinder out of my flat a few years ago because she told me I should get rid of my PS3, "since only little boys play video games".

She would have to be a lot more pretty than she was to tell me something like that to my face... :D
 
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DonJorginho

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I know it sounds like bragging, but I really threw a girl that I met through Tinder out of my flat a few years ago because she told me I should get rid of my PS3, "since only little boys play video games".

She would have to be a lot more pretty than she was to tell me something like that to my face... :D
Damn now that is a pro-gamer move brother! Respect that, no girl should ever come between you and your interests unless they're fucked up ones like being a paedophile or some shit.

The girl I was with for 5 years was actually really chill with video games, she had her own PS4 and would always want to suck me off whilst I played GTAV specifically for some reason, really strange but I didn't complain.

Just a shame she turned out to be a psychopath who tried to bash my head against a sink because I wanted to take a break.
 
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DonJorginho

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This really does not take into accountr OPs situation, damn he is 29 and never had any relationship, even as a learning experience about how women work could be this relationship highly beneficial.
I guess so, OP just tell her you wanna plow her and see where it takes you.
 
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paparazzo

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Don’t write yourself off; it’s up to her to do that. Personally, I’m around your age and I’ve been dealing with a similar situation myself with a girl crushing on me, though I don’t actually work at the girl’s workplace, and there’s been times where I figured she lost interest, only for her to seem interested again the next time I saw her. Shoot your shot and see where it goes.

While you might think people perceive you as dorky or whatever, others may see you differently and be drawn to you for just being you. Plenty of guys don’t their shit together until they find a girl who makes it all worth It.
 
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M1chl

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I know it sounds like bragging, but I really threw a girl that I met through Tinder out of my flat a few years ago because she told me I should get rid of my PS3, "since only little boys play video games".

She would have to be a lot more pretty than she was to tell me something like that to my face... :D
Nice to see someone with standards :messenger_bicep: I don't want to say how many women I dropped due to juvenile reasons, but hey, one time you forgive them some idiotic take and they are going to push more and more as times go on. Not worth it.
 
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Stiflers Mom

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Damn now that is a pro-gamer move brother!
Naah, it was more like "you don't tell me shit like that". Could have been anything else that is important to me she talked bad about.

If some friend of mine would be talking like this to me I would be angry as well and would ask myself why this person is my friend to begin with.
So why should I tolerate this in a woman who wants to be intimate with me.

Just a shame she turned out to be a psychopath who tried to bash my head against a sink because I wanted to take a break.
Woah, that sounds crazy.
Good riddance, mate...
 

MudoSkills

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Based on how you've responded to all of this, I'm wondering how obvious the signs she was interested in you must have been.
 
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eot

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So one day, she hits me with the "So when are you gonna take me out?" Oh shit. My dumbass told her that I needed to get my shit together as in, I didn't have a car nor a driver's license to take her somewhere...However, She did say could pick me and so no worries.

Weeks later I was chatting around my co-workers about how I was getting a PS5. lol She kinda roasted me. "How are you gonna get your shit together then turn around and get a PS5". I knew I screw up at that point. She still flirts with me and even suggested that we hang out. But I think any romantic feelings she had for me are gone. Sucks because I thought my coomer days were ending.
Did you take any initiative OP? She asked you to take her out, you're never going to get a more clear signal in your life. Are you texting outside work?

If she likes you then the specifics of what you do don't matter so much, just propose something (non-cringe of course, not "let's play Mario Party"). Obviously it's harder now during COVID, but you can even just go for a walk, buy a thermos, fill it up with something warm and you can walk around for a long time. She just wants you to put in some effort. If you don't have a car then order an Uber, do what you can instead of focusing on what you can't. See it as a learning experience, yes if you never did it you're going to feel uncomfortable but it's not going to get better by waiting.
 
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Yoshi

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That one thing will not blow it entirely if she is into you. But it is pretty understandable that it hurts her a bit, no? Also, you do realise that if she has feelings for you, she is probably not looking for you spending a lot of money, but just spending some good time together, right? My first date with my wife we took a stroll through cologne and ate at McDonalds. Cost 10€ for both of us together. That was over 12 years ago.
 

Stiflers Mom

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We rarely eat at McDonalds, because I do not particularly like McDonalds. We do occasionally eat hamburgers, but I usually make them myself. We are only rarely in cologne.
You should go to Düsseldorf anyway.
I heard they have an excellent McDonalds on the Kö.
 
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Stiflers Mom

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Give her flowers (leave on her desk/workplace if you're too shy).
Pretty cheap way (even one flower will do) to make it look like you're apologizing, while not actually doing it. And marking your interest.
Please no.
Limp dick evasive move.

Just go to her and ask her out for a date.
Don't act too complicated, girls don't understand your romantic intentions despite whatever Disney told you your whole life.

They want you to act.
 
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psorcerer

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Please no.
Limp dick evasive move.

Just go to her and ask her out for a date.
Don't act too complicated, girls don't understand your romantic intentions despite whatever Disney told you your whole life.

They want you to act.

You're giving advice to somebody who refused a girl he likes. And expect him to behave like an alpha male? :messenger_tears_of_joy:

You also think that all girls like the same men and all think the same.
That's obviously untrue. In interpersonal relationships people are not the same.
 
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Airola

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laughing at my jokes (sexual ones too)

Weeks later I was chatting around my co-workers about how I was getting a PS5. lol She kinda roasted me. "How are you gonna get your shit together then turn around and get a PS5". I knew I screw up at that point. She still flirts with me and even suggested that we hang out. But I think any romantic feelings she had for me are gone. Sucks because I thought my coomer days were ending.

So she is able to laugh at your jokes (even sexual ones too), but when she jokes about your gaming hobby you fall apart. Bruh!
 

Stiflers Mom

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You're giving advice to somebody who refused a girl he likes. And expect him to behave like an alpha male? :messenger_tears_of_joy:

You also think that all girls like the same men and all think the same.
That's obviously untrue. In interpersonal relationships people are not the same.
Dude, what does a "rose lying on the table" say to her after she has been waiting for him to make a move for weeks?

"Please make a move again after you already made one and got shot down, I am not able to simply ask you" is the answer.

If I were her I'd think I'd start looking somewhere else for a man.

You can get her roses when you are in a relationship with her.

Not before.
 
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