• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Flat-Earthers Have a Wild New Theory About Forests (The Atlantic)

Status
Not open for further replies.
You know what flat earthers have made? A really cool fantasy setting. Imagine a world where people discover that the earth is flat; that there is no universal law of gravitation, but rather everything works on mystical Platonic geometry; that we are held to the ground by the eternal acceleration of the whole world as it hurdles through the void; that the oceans are held in by Antarctica and that no one has ever survived a trip far into the frigid land beyond the circle of the known world; that the whole geology of the earth consists of ancient fossilized megaflora; that all those giant trees died thousands of years ago and no one knows why.

Can we finally found a neogaf religion with that as it's basis?
 

Tomita

Member
I dunno, GAF...this is actually has more logic to it than that one documentary about a guy who Photoshoped a bunch of photos of the moon with the paintbrush tool and then decided the moon is actually in full color and NASA was just lying to us. And our eyes when we look up at the sky. Damn our eyes!

In all seriousness I sort of hope most of the "flat earth" people are just trolling everyone else and the few people gullible enough to go along with it. And the ones who truly believe it are more attached to the "omigosh, it's a conspiracy!" aspect of it all than anything else. If it wasn't flat earth, then it'd be chemtrails or UFOs for them, whichever fits into their paranoia about the government the most.
 

Octavia

Unconfirmed Member
I don't understand flat earth. If you travel in a straight line how do you get back to the same spot? They just assume you're moving in a circle? What happens when you travel in an arch then?
 
The biggest question I have for these flat-earthers is one I feel gets lost in all the crazy, and that is: what exactly is the benefit for the powers that be to feed us a lie that the earth is round instead of flat? Has any mildly prominent flat-earther bothered to explain that?
 

caffeware

Banned
I don't understand flat earth. If you travel in a straight line how do you get back to the same spot? They just assume you're moving in a circle? What happens when you travel in an arch then?

globe9.png


The biggest question I have for these flat-earthers is one I feel gets lost in all the crazy, and that is: what exactly is the benefit for the powers that be to feed us a lie that the earth is round instead of flat? Has any mildly prominent flat-earther bothered to explain that?

To make you feel like shit space dust.
 
It's 2:00 p.m. on a lazy Thursday at your job. The clock is ticking down slowly, so you and your peers crowd around a single computer and flip through Youtube videos, showing everyone their favorites.

Mindy pulls up a cat video. You've seen it, but cackle with her anyway. Tom puts you through a rough 3 minute video of people getting hit in the nuts. You winch every single time, showing respect to Tom. He's a little behind the times, but means well.

Ralf is up next. He's excited for some reason, and hypes you up a bit.

"This is gonna blow your mind, guys."

He tells you to type in Flat Earth, and before you can ask what that means, he moves your hand away from the mouse and scrolls down a few before landing on an hour long segment about how the earth is flat.

He's grinning from ear to ear. You know exactly what this shit is now. He's one of those fucking people. The rest of your coworkers aren't as informed - so they scrunch their faces in confusion.

Minute after minute, the pain strikes you, as unrelated theories and odd "evidence" is brought up to support the theory. Ralf nods his head at every line.

Your group slowly starts to disperse. Some need to go to the bathroom, and never return. Others forgot they had a package waiting, or that work needed to be done. But Ralf doesn't care.

Ralf is talking to you, clarifying any questions you might have before you can ask them. He's watching your face for approval, and you smile back, dropping a 'wow' to satiate his thirst for validation.

Once the video is over, another plays. It's a playlist. Ralf is sweating now - he's very excited to find a friend who agrees with him.

The hours fly past. Everyone is gone. The lights are off, save for the dim, bright screen displaying a crazy lady talking about how enlightened she is ever since she found out the earth was flat.

It's just you and Ralf. And you can't go home. Who knows what Ralf might do to you. You've created a bond, an everlasting friendship, and should you somehow escape this predicament, a new day will only bring more videos, and more theories from Ralf.

Be safe out there, people, you never know who the Ralf is in your office until this shit gets big.
 

Arkos

Nose how to spell and rede to
You know what flat earthers have made? A really cool fantasy setting. Imagine a world where people discover that the earth is flat; that there is no universal law of gravitation, but rather everything works on mystical Platonic geometry; that we are held to the ground by the eternal acceleration of the whole world as it hurdles through the void; that the oceans are held in by Antarctica and that no one has ever survived a trip far into the frigid land beyond the circle of the known world; that the whole geology of the earth consists of ancient fossilized megaflora; that all those giant trees died thousands of years ago and no one knows why.

I want to play this game. Or watch the HBO series.
 

caffeware

Banned
It's 2:00 p.m. on a lazy Thursday at your job. The clock is ticking down slowly, so you and your peers crowd around a single computer and flip through Youtube videos, showing everyone their favorites.

Mindy pulls up a cat video. You've seen it, but cackle with her anyway. Tom puts you through a rough 3 minute video of people getting hit in the nuts. You winch every single time, showing respect to Tom. He's a little behind the times, but means well.

Ralf is up next. He's excited for some reason, and hypes you up a bit.

"This is gonna blow your mind, guys."

He tells you to type in Flat Earth, and before you can ask what that means, he moves your hand away from the mouse and scrolls down a few before landing on an hour long segment about how the earth is flat.

He's grinning from ear to ear. You know exactly what this shit is now. He's one of those fucking people. The rest of your coworkers aren't as informed - so they scrunch their faces in confusion.

Minute after minute, the pain strikes you, as unrelated theories and odd "evidence" is brought up to support the theory. Ralf nods his head at every line.

Your group slowly starts to disperse. Some need to go to the bathroom, and never return. Others forgot they had a package waiting, or that work needed to be done. But Ralf doesn't care.

Ralf is talking to you, clarifying any questions you might have before you can ask them. He's watching your face for approval, and you smile back, dropping a 'wow' to satiate his thirst for validation.

Once the video is over, another plays. It's a playlist. Ralf is sweating now - he's very excited to find a friend who agrees with him.

The hours fly past. Everyone is gone. The lights are off, save for the dim, bright screen displaying a crazy lady talking about how enlightened she is ever since she found out the earth was flat.

It's just you and Ralf. And you can't go home. Who knows what Ralf might do to you. You've created a bond, an everlasting friendship, and should you somehow escape this predicament, a new day will only bring more videos, and more theories from Ralf.

Be safe out there, people, you never know who the Ralf is in your office until this shit gets big.

image.php
 

LCGeek

formerly sane
Your problem right there is assuming that the things people say and believe in need to make sense. Some people are just nuts.

This.

and the atlantic is a little ate to this craze. You can tell by all the response videos on youtube they are just picking this up as another conspiracy people are crazy fluff piece.

Yet even all that is being mentioned I'm more curious as to why the atlantic had time for this article and not the dangers of a big political party courting alex jones and his far right ilk. I forgot this election competence is not the name of the game.

I don't mind some flat earthers as nutty as they are they think the universe is cocentric and electrical not helicentric. Check out other threads in known conspiracy spots for a much better look than 80 minute confusing video. This is not me endorsing their views only relating to some notions of why they do this or think the elites are suppressing mankind as usual, that is always a theme in conspiracy almost no matter the theory.

Tomita the moon just a gigantic dragon mining space ship or alien overlord ai beacon for saturn, shit the stuff youtube comes up makes my shroom trips happy as fuck.
 

HStallion

Now what's the next step in your master plan?
You know I'm friends with a couple people that probably believe this shit. They believe in ghosts, big foot, the loch ness monster, the men in black, and so on. I like a lot of them but I realized they're just gullible fools, some of them seemingly willingly so. I convinced one of a conspiracy I just made up about how the Bible isn't the real Bible and so on. I was joking but one of them ate it up like I was giving a scholarly dissertation on an actual subject.
 

Luminaire

Member
I watched about 20 minutes of the video and found it incredibly difficult to keep paying attention. I truly do not understand the people who believe this...

I try to place myself into a frame of mind so that it would make sense, but..nothing.

I wonder if I should try to watch the full thing.
 
Flat earthers are loonies and it's kind of amazing how they can believe such bullshit. Hell, it's even more amazing how they can create all that bullshit, it's like they have a toilet head where other people shit, and then, from that shit, they create even more shit.
 

Tubobutts

Member
Gigantic mountain trees that were cut down by mysterious ancient beings who also mined out the Grand Canyon sounds like a pretty cool concept for something.
 
I CAN'T EVEN TWEET ABOUT THIS

WITHOUT SOME DUDE BEING LIKE

OHH MAYBE CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO ONE DAY YOU'LL BE ENLIGHTENED

Fuck.

Off.
 
If people are still trying to debunk us flat earthers then I don't want to be on this plane anymore..


'debunk' is a generous term. I'd go for 'laughing at'.

You have to be deliberately ignorant of a lot of fundamental science that even school children can understand to believe in flat earth theories.
 

_Ryo_

Member
How do they explain time zones if they don't believe in curvature?

I dunno. Maybe they think people create artificial light for the sun in day time, and have a giant sheild to block out the sun to create an artificial night time, all set up in different locations to simulate time zones. It's all one big government conspiracy, man. Timezones aren't real.
 
Most truth passes through three stages.
First, it is tested and published by researchers.
Second, it is ridiculed on the internet for being self-evident and a waste of time compared to curing cancer.
Third, it is tested over and over again for funding purposes, even though it is already proven and tbh self-evident.

So what are we calling bushes now?
Well, grass, of course!
How do they explain time zones if they don't believe in curvature?
You simply have to repurpose a lot of stuff to fit your theory! For example, the sun is just a giant spotlight that moves around the earth like a needle on a record (the sun is also flat, I think). The sun then moves in and out of orbits around the earth to allow for different seasons.
 

efyu_lemonardo

May I have a cookie?
You simply have to repurpose a lot of stuff to fit your theory! For example, the sun is just a giant spotlight that moves around the earth like a needle on a record (the sun is also flat, I think). The sun then moves in and out of orbits around the earth to allow for different seasons.
That doesn't work though... Where does night come from in this model? And why are there sunrises and sunsets?
 

CloudWolf

Member
Even though this is completely bonkers, the fantasy lover inside me would love to see mountainsized trees.

Please Hollywood, do something with this.
 
Shouldn't flat-earthers be able to prove the world is flat by just digging until they hit the bottom?

I mean, presumably it's pretty thick, so this is a project they should all work on together, in the same hole.
 

ScOULaris

Member
Good grief. I don't think any conspiracy theory angers me more than flat earth and all of its tangents. It's just so idiotic that it angers me to think that even a small community of people exists to perpetuate it.
 

Zomba13

Member
The thing I've never understood about this sort of thing is why is it a conspiracy? Why does the government lie? What do they gain by tricking us into thinking the world is a sphere? Like, is this all a plot by companies to sell us globes? Why is the knowledge that the Earth is flat forbidden? Is it because we might go to the edge and fall off? Can't we do that by accident?

I just don't understand the reason that it is some big shocking secret the world doesn't want us to know.
 
The thing I've never understood about this sort of thing is why is it a conspiracy? Why does the government lie? What do they gain by tricking us into thinking the world is a sphere? Like, is this all a plot by companies to sell us globes? Why is the knowledge that the Earth is flat forbidden? Is it because we might go to the edge and fall off? Can't we do that by accident?

I just don't understand the reason that it is some big shocking secret the world doesn't want us to know.

Don't try to understand the loonies, you might become one.
 

Kuros

Member
Does anyone have the link to the flat earthed who posted the video on YouTube just drawing page after page of his number theories. It was impressive as to how indepth it was. But that was about it.
 

Capra

Member
Pretty sure most flat-Earthers and people who believe in similar "conspiracies" are just contrarians who believe the prevailing view of any given subject must be wrong somehow. It gives them a sense of satisfaction to believe they live in this world where absolutely everything is a conspiracy designed to lure the gullible sheeples into buying, I dunno, brand-name toothpaste or something while they, enlightened freedom fighters that they are, crusade for strands of truth no matter how tenuous.

I've met the kinds of people who fall for this stuff and I mean, they aren't necessarily anti-intellectual or willfully ignorant from the beginning. From my experience they just started off making an effort to be aware of less-mainstream subjects like environmentalism or recreational drug use and got dragged into the deep end when they turned themselves off to the scientific community and started listening to the people who peddle this shit.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom