TickleMeElbow
Member
Yeah a lot of people will put up with all kinds of shit if they feel like the "reward" is good enough.
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Guy Made A Fake Tinder Profile To Prove That Girls Never Think Hot Dudes Are Creepy
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I'm tall (6"5) but I've suffered from major self confidence issues since I was young. I've had people say I'm handsome before, but never managed to even ask anyone out before. My lack of confidence makes it impossible for me to even try, I shoot myself in the foot before I even make the first step.
It sucks. I know I'm certainly not good looking, but I wouldn't say I'm terrible looking either. Growing a beard has helped.
One day my confidence will get better I guess if I just act it.
It sucks. I know I'm certainly not good looking, but I wouldn't say I'm terrible looking either. Growing a beard has helped.
One day my confidence will get better I guess if I just act it.
Hahaha. lmao.
Puck Beaverton
Banned
I had a friend in high school who had similar issues as me (anxiety, depression, possibly crazy) that had model good looks. He still had problems with women, but they definitely approached him more than me.
He was a cool guy.
He was a cool guy.
lvl99 Pixel
Member
Last time i was using online dating one girl suddenly threw a fit of rage when I mentioned I watched Sherlock (tv show) because the director apparently didnt align with her "feminist ideals" or something.
that and everyones profile saying they have a "bubbly personality" among other things, none of it ever seemed real
that and everyones profile saying they have a "bubbly personality" among other things, none of it ever seemed real
lightskintwin
Banned
Man, I had a friend in college who stayed in the same dorm hall as me, and all the girls I knew thought he was so fine and ask for me to hook them up. The problem was he had this very strong country accent, and his personality was kinda lame. So every time I'd introduce a girl to him in order to hook him/her up, I kid you not in 5 minutes or less after speaking in private, the girl would come back to me and say, "Nah, I'm good". LOL
The funny thing is he finally got a girlfriend, and my God was he so overprotective of her and thought every guy was trying to get at her. They we'rent, but we use to fuck with him just to see him hulk out, by whistling at her when they were both walking in the hall, and then hiding in the bathroom to watch his reaction of him excessive breathing and ready to punch the first guy who looks remotely guilty of it. LOL
Can confirm. I get told I'm attractive a lot, but I didn't really notice how attractive girls found me until I was in high school and got a little fit. I could literally get girls to do anything and still be the hugest jerk.
What a freaking scumbag the person I used to be was. Fuck that guy.
What a freaking scumbag the person I used to be was. Fuck that guy.
Interframe
Member
I guess everyone has different experiences. I'm bi and I've had way more success and good dates with men than any women. Heteronormativity is a plague on the world and I'm glad I don't have to deal with that bullshit.
IMO heteronormativity and straight people being obsessed with gender roles is considerable worse than a lot of the BS you have to deal with in the gay dating world. But it depends on if you enjoy playing the role of your gender I suppose. I definitely do not.
Herbspiceguy
Member
Seems pretty pointless to 'prove' this. By now it should be common knowledge that dating apps only work for 'hot dudes'.
And this is why I normally don't waste my time around here.
Let me just reply to the first guy then gtfo: girls have a harder time than men admitting what they really want and for a good number of reasons, one being society as I say later. They will, convincingly, lie, and for a lot of guys that will come off as double standards. As a matter of fact, I see it more as lack of transparency which results in distrust.
As for the rest, have fun swimming in your golden intellectual superiority. I'd love to be less polite but ehi, rules.
This is not about casual sex anymore and I'll say very common things here, sorry.
Sometimes you don't even get those 2 minutes, though. Sometimes it really is about "yes or no", at a glance. Yes, I'll give him / her a chance, or No I will not. I did it as well. And if it's "no", it gets crazy hard to get a chance, no matter what you do / say / prove. Is that a consequence of sex being easier to get?
Also, I wonder: why would you do that? To give someone an opportunity can change everything. It's just a mental thing. Even if it doesn't work in that direction, you might find a friend. I did this too. Little side note: I remember a TED talk of a woman who run her algorithm on a dating site database to find her ideal partner by playing on key factors.. I never thought I could hate a TED talk before that one.
Rejection is, of course, part of the game. However, what dating apps are doing (although I have no experience with them) is to take this "at first glance" approach to the extreme. They're playing down potential human relationships, of any kind, at the move of a finger. The idea of Tinder to "swipe left or right" like it's a market of persons is kinda creepy to me. Easy, fast, but creepy. What you write in the bio and show with pics is nothing more than a marketing decision (plus lies) and it feels off to me. In addition, there's a whole bunch of problems with dating apps that directly translate into real life way too often, but I know they've been addressed more than once here on gaf.
Me personally, I still love to get there and say hi, see how it goes. She might be beautiful or just ok but I'll never know if I like her or not based on looks alone. To think about it, I would have not matched a couple of my ex if I used Tinder. Good thing I didn't because one of them is a very close friend now, 9 years later.
Back to the OP and casual sex: it's undeniable that women have higher standards. It's also undeniable that they will hardly admit it and talk about it for a number of reasons, one being the fear of judgement, which is totally understandable and deserve a thread itself. However, for a guy who tries hard and gets rejected, that's still a lie. She keeps talking about personality, how she loves the little attentions etc, he gives her all and yet a hot guy comes in and take her away in a blink of a eye, effortlessly. At one point there's a chance he starts to feel bad and think crazy stuff like "I'm not enough" or lose confidence. We know this happens a lot. Men are, with pros and cons, a lot more forthright in this matter.
This is why these "social experiments" are so hilarious to me, same as some Facebook pages that repost chat screens and stuff. They show behaviours we're aware of, that for some reason we like to pretend are different.
Puck Beaverton
Banned
internet thread about women having preferences and standards never ends well
M0nochromatic
Member
I thought this was known. Everyone does it, not just women on hook up apps. We're told not to judge a book by its cover, but that's not how the mind works. We constantly make assessments and value judgements out of everything we perceive.
The truth is that the farther you deviate from societies beauty standards, the harder you have to work to get others interested in building a relationship with you. I wouldn't call it a good thing or fair, but that's reality.
The truth is that the farther you deviate from societies beauty standards, the harder you have to work to get others interested in building a relationship with you. I wouldn't call it a good thing or fair, but that's reality.
OHMIGAWD OHMIGAWD OHMIGAWD I am so excited for you!!
Now to listen to this glorious song on repeat for the next hour.
Bruce Springsteen
Member
Good god the amount of jealousy and salt in this thread, good looking people easily attract opposite sex, shocker
Uno Venova
Banned
jealousy is as natural an emotion as any tbh
If he's attractive he probably already thinks that way though.
Puck Beaverton
Banned
It's best not to be consumed by it, or use it as a way to put down people.
I get jealous a lot; sometimes I do it in a harmful way, and other times it motivates to be a better person.
4 is a cutie
Banned
Gosh, unlike those other sluts using a hookup app to hookup, this classy respectable lady prefers coffee before being fucked in the butt
Bruce Springsteen
Member
Right, there are those that get jealous and use it as a motivation to be better, others get consumed by it and become very bitter people, as we see here
Life is too short to hold any jealousy
The Shadow
Member
Insecure meninist are the only ones who think it's just women.
How About No
Member
Sounds awkward, coffee always gives me the runs
SlaughterX
Banned
Well I mean if you're constsntly offering to eat them out... women like head just as much as guys, even mediocre looking ones. If only I liked cunnilingus.
Mass_Pincup
Banned
The way the heterosexual dating scene is set, that's quite obviously not true or at the very least not to the same extent.
Okay, let's review.
Frank was awkward. And a little too pushy.
Gregg was handsome.
Just remembered this SNL clip while reading.
Frank was awkward. And a little too pushy.
Gregg was handsome.
Just remembered this SNL clip while reading.
I'm so glad I found my eventual wife way back in the relatively unterrifying dating era of 2001.
It has been bizarre observing the evolution of online dating rituals in the period since. I find it all utterly intimidating and brutal.
Pretty confident that if my marriage ever falls over I will happily consign myself to a life of solitude rather than dip my toe in these terrifying waters.
It has been bizarre observing the evolution of online dating rituals in the period since. I find it all utterly intimidating and brutal.
Pretty confident that if my marriage ever falls over I will happily consign myself to a life of solitude rather than dip my toe in these terrifying waters.
cartographer
Member
It's not that bad, and it's way more convenient, IMO. Some people might have trouble with it, but people has trouble with the scene in 2001, too. There are always going to be people with hang-up and anxiety about the dating scene, no matter what form it takes.
the premise doesn't completely translate, because women can be really attractive, but if they show negative social feedback... like they can't really be creepy, but they can be abusive or misdirecting, and not many men will really put up with that for long. (Because practically we know nothing is going to happen.)
Some women will allow attractive men to push past their safety and comfort zones for different reasons. Its one thing to be made a little uncomfortable, and its something else to feel unsafe, and not a lot of women will stand for their safety to be put at risk. But they will put up with some attractive guy being cheeky, or even pushy, or direct. Some see that as a positive trait. But to be dangerously aggressive to the point of being really creepy and not just exaggerating someone performing outside of current casual norms, I don't really see that happening here.
tldr; no creepy women, and if they were creepy, then probably some creepy guys would be messaging them cause they're into that
Some women will allow attractive men to push past their safety and comfort zones for different reasons. Its one thing to be made a little uncomfortable, and its something else to feel unsafe, and not a lot of women will stand for their safety to be put at risk. But they will put up with some attractive guy being cheeky, or even pushy, or direct. Some see that as a positive trait. But to be dangerously aggressive to the point of being really creepy and not just exaggerating someone performing outside of current casual norms, I don't really see that happening here.
tldr; no creepy women, and if they were creepy, then probably some creepy guys would be messaging them cause they're into that
Yep. I'm always surpised about people being surprised when they see it.
CrimsonSquall
Member
What sucks about Tinder for me is that ik I'm in the attractive zone but race is a factor for a good amount of people here. Definitely moving to a coastline when I get the chance cause I'm attracted to all races and the people here majority don't see things the same as
timetokill
Banned
Nope. Nice try, Morrigan.
I think you need a refresher on sexual harassment in the workplace before you go levying "you should be ashamed" declarations: https://vimeo.com/30042289
I'm in the Midwest and race isn't much of a factor. If you are attractive and have your life together, getting women is like shooting fish in a barrel because there is almost no competition from other men of your race.
davidwhangchoi
Member
i get away with alot of stuff when i'm well groomed (nice haircut) and iron my shirt.
but get the creep looks if i try the same stuff looking like a bum.
but get the creep looks if i try the same stuff looking like a bum.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Would not have stood a chance at all with my second wife had it not been for online dating. Most of the trouble comes from inexperience in relationships and people looking for easy sex. Obviously I was tracking older than most people so I'd be able to avoid the early 20's drama. It's not so bad, if you're normal.
OrlanisWorks
Banned
As an ugly man, I very upset and wouldn't be surprised by the truthiness of such a thing
Just gotta shrug the jealousy off. Or beat it off?
Just gotta shrug the jealousy off. Or beat it off?
Vicetrailia
Member
It is a factor because your pool shrinks a lot when being a non-white male. You can be a unicorn but still be looked over due to race. That goes anywhere. But without a ton of same race competition, the far smaller than coastal pool of the ones who do date non-whites are more available, so hopefully you can snag. You should be able to if you're average looking.
But you know the college town of Ames, IA served me way better than all of Wisconsin.
FunkyPajamas
Member
I hear you. I'm pretty much the same height and it really bothers me because it's something I have no control over (unlike say, being overweight), it's a result of genetic makeup (my parents are tiny), and it's basically the "great filter" when it comes to dating. That "my face when his height starts with 5" tweet comes to mind.
I've learned to live with it and tried to wise up to the fact that there's nothing I can do about it, but eh, it's hardly ideal.
Also, be white.
PixelatedBookake
Junior Member
I would like to think being African hasn't had an effect on Tinder, but being that I have yet to actually meet up with anyone using the app that I actually was attracted too, that must mean either I'm bad at bios, or girls aren't into guys whose names they can't pronounce ¯\_(ツ_/¯
_/¯cartographer
Member
That was the same in 2001, too. If anything, one of the most important things the Internet has done is help provide a platform for disadvantaged groups and help connect them in ways that used to be more inconvenient or effectively impossible. A lot of early specialized dating websites helped cut through that bias by catering specifically to minority groups that were otherwise overlooked and under-served. That doesn't change the racial bias on Tinder or other popular apps today, but I believe it's easier and more convenient for minorities today than it was in 2001, too.
Post of the year
Crossing Eden
Hello, my name is Yves Guillemot, Vivendi S.A.'s Employee of the Month!
I have 91 matches on tinder. Not super sure race is a factor. I mean obviously it is. But it doesn't seem as harsh on Tuesday as on other dating apps/sites. >_>I would like to think being African hasn't had an effect on Tinder, but being that I have yet to actually meet up with anyone using the app that I actually was attracted too, that must mean either I'm bad at bios, or girls aren't into guys whose names they can't pronounce ¯\_(ツ
eyeball_kid
Member
Well, real talk...it's not your lack of confidence, but that you're probably afraid to feel like an idiot if you get shot down. The only way you'll get confidence is if you ask someone out and they say yes. So really, all you need to do is get over being afraid of possible rejection and just ask someone. Who cares if they say no? Sure it'll sting a bit, but life demands a bit of risk.
But as far as prospects, you already have a leg, or half a leg, up on most guys, as many women love tall men.
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