Support NeoGAF

[Makonero]

In Nintendo's recently released mobile game Super Mario Run, the famous plumber leaps his way through a couple dozen levels on his way to rescue Princess Peach from Bowser. Been there, done that. Yet perhaps there is a second, darker reading of this game? Maybe there's an interpretation that shakes the accepted Mario lore to its very core??

I'm going to warn you up front that this is a ridiculous theory. It is likely wrong in a hundred ways. That will not stop me from sharing it with you now.

The theory originated on a recent episode of the Idle Thumbs podcast, which is hosted by Chris Remo, Jake Rodkin and Nick Breckon. I like all three of those guys and used to go on their show back when I lived in San Francisco—Remo also joined me on our own Splitscreen podcast last year. While I've always enjoyed their show and its various Mario-related flights of fancy, I did not expect to hear a theory so outlandish it'd feel more at home in one of Hideo Kojima's Metal Gear games.

We can therefore conclude that in the new game, Mario is conquering the Mushroom Kingdom, not liberating it. It's not the first time Mario has flown his own flag, but the Mario-as-conqueror theory is further supported by Mario Run's separate Kingdom Builder, in which Mario conscripts a growing workforce of Toad citizens to make him a vast new empire.

Mario is now de facto ruler over a new kingdom. ”It's basically a military junta," Remo said, pointing out that this is just the sort of ”interim" government commonly propped up after a coup, the creators of which usually have no intention of actually stepping down or returning power to the people.

Super Mario Run doesn't have an ending, but if you beat every level and max out the Kingdom Builder, Mario has become a dictator. He's running what amounts to an apartheid state, with an indentured workforce of Toads who have been separated out by color and forced to build castles and statues in tribute to their glorious leader.

That leader's name is Mario.

...or is it?

By the end of Mario Run, Mario has become a coin-obsessed dictator ruling a kingdom rebuilt in his image. ”He's more obsessed with coins than ever before in Mario Run," said Remo, pointing to a trend that arguably began in the coin-crazy days of New Super Mario Bros. ”At this point I think I have like, 600,000 coins in my game. That's way more coins than he needs."

”Mario is not generally depicted inside a pile of coins," said Rodkin. ”But someone definitely is. Lets just put it this way. I don't wanna name names. But it rhymes with Mario."

For more of this silly fanfic, please head here:
http://kotaku.com/ok-bear-with-me-what-if-mario-and-wario-are-the-same-1791132939


(BTW Kirk I love you but this is dumb. Really dumb. I hope Schreier calls you out on its dumbness in the next episode of Splitscreen.)

 

[Auctopus]

Are people just trying to burn the time between now and the Switch conference?

Spoiler

It's a pretty funny read.

 

[Inferno313]

This is my head cannon now

 

[JStein0222]

I just read through this and, like all of Kirk's stuff, it's beautiful. Perfect amount of jolliness to kill some time with before the Switch presentation

 

[Varjet]

Explain Mario Land 2.

 

[Aztechnology]

There's your problem, you got it set to W for Wario, when it should be set to M for Mario.

 

[hemo memo]

Make sense.

 

[Graphics Horse]

Yoshi's Island DS's place in the Mario timeline disproves this

 

[webrunner]

I have always thought that the idea that Wario is somehow Mario's opposite makes no sense.

Mario likes coins, Wario REALLY likes coins
Mario likes italian food, which is often garlic-heavy. Wario likes Garlic.
Mario can come back to life if he dies, Wario actually immortal
Mario is overweight, Wario is obese

Wario isn't an "anti" mario, he's Extreme Mario, he is Peak Mario

 

[DoctorDake]

Explain Mario Land 2.

The theory presented on the podcast is that Mario in ML2 is actually Mario's son Mario, trying to take back the kingdom from his corrupt father.

Yeah...I dunno.

 

[Morts]

Explain Mario Land 2.

The article does.

 

[Tye The Czar]

We need Kotaku articles on the other identity theories:

Spoiler

Sans is Ness

Spoiler

Nishikino Maki is Knuckles

Spoiler

Tsushima "Yohane" Yoshiko is Olivia Pierce

Spoiler

Izetta is Bayonetta

 

[Richie]

Explain Mario Land 2.

 

[Varjet]

The theory presented on the podcast is that Mario in ML2 is actually Mario's son Mario, trying to take back the kingdom from his corrupt father.

Yeah...I dunno.

That checks out

 

[EvB]

Did this guy play Braid and forget?

 

[SlipperyFishes]

Throwing around the apartheid so casually eh

 

[ElTorro]

[...] While I've always enjoyed their show and its various Mario-related flights of fancy, I did not expect to hear a theory so outlandish it'd feel more at home in one of Hideo Kojima's Metal Gear games.

The short version of the theory: In Super Mario Run, Mario doesn't just liberate the Mushroom Kingdom, he conquers it. With the help of his workforce of ”liberated" Toad subjects, he builds a new kingdom in his image. He eventually becomes power-mad and corrupted, which causes him to assume a new identity: Corrupt Mario, a.k.a. Wario. Under this new identity, he rules over the former Mushroom Kingdom with an iron fist until his son, Mario Jr., overthrows him with the help of his uncle Luigi, Peach, and others.

Peach, I am already a daemon.

Such a lust for mushrooms. Whooo?!

 

[Makonero]

The theory presented on the podcast is that Mario in ML2 is actually Mario's son Mario, trying to take back the kingdom from his corrupt father.

Yeah...I dunno.

BUT WHO IS THE MOTHER, KIRK

TELL US THAT

 

[v0yce]

Yeah, but what about this guy?

 

[valinthyne]

edit: ok i actually looked at the article. nevermind.

 

[Village]

But wario lives in an entierly different place
also people have seen mario and wario in the same place

 

[SL128]

Here's the video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tov0yLL_Na4&t=1m8s

And why aren't gaming "journalists" taken seriously?

Hrm...

Because it's a joke, and you aren't supposed to take jokes seriously, just like you weren't supposed to take "Gamers are Dead" literally even though you did that too.

 

[joms5]

And why aren't gaming "journalists" taken seriously?

Hrm...

 

[New002]

What if a journalist had a deadline with a deliverable, but had no idea what to write about?

Spoiler

nofunallowed.jpg

 

[Piston Hyundai]

"Thank you for reading Kotaku, a news and opinion site about games and things serious gamers care about."

 

[Oregano]

Truly the deepest lore.

 

[mugurumakensei]

BUT WHO IS THE MOTHER, KIRK

TELL US THAT

Simple. The mother is birdo.

 

[Salamando]

Then explain the Mario vs Wario comic from Nintendo Power!

 

[nckillthegrimace]

So that explains Pink Gold Peach. She's essentially Wapeach, as she is both the living embodiment of naked avarice and a decadent luxury item: perfect as Corrupt Mario's/Wario's counterpart.

 

[Huge Succeeded]

And why aren't gaming "journalists" taken seriously?

Hrm...

this article doesn't read like it's meant to be taken seriously to begin with; it's a humor blog post through and through

 

[broncobuster]

Makes sense. If Mario looks like that at 25, when he's 35 or 45, he'd age poor enough to resemble Wario.

There's also the matter of Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Jr. Mario is the villain in it and his fate is unknown following the ending. And why would DK Jr make friends with Mario if he kidnapoed his father?

BUT WHO IS THE MOTHER, KIRK

TELL US THAT

Pauline.

 

[Real Hero]

What if halo is metroid, what if ash is pikachu, what if isis is good. This is a dangerous game they are playing

 

[Zomba13]

I would say "no, they are seen together in Mario Kart and Tennis etc" but then you also see Baby Mario racing with Adult Mario so obvious time fuckery is afoot in the sport spin-offs.

I'm a believer Wario is Punished Mario, he's already a demon.

 

[CopperPuppy]

The wait for the Switch presentation getting people twisted.

 

[mugurumakensei]

Then explain the Mario vs Wario comic from Nintendo Power!

It's like Fight Club.I mean Mario regularly does shrooms. He's probably self-medicating to his dissociative identity disorder.

 

[Makonero]

I would say "no, they are seen together in Mario Kart and Tennis etc" but then you also see Baby Mario racing with Adult Mario so obvious time fuckery is afoot in the sport spin-offs.

I'm a believer Wario is Punished Mario, he's already a demon.

what if baby mario is wario's grandson

 

[Mr Swine]

what if baby mario is wario's grandson

It's more likely that Dr Eggman is the love child of Wario and Waluigi

Warios body type with Waluigis legs and arms with a combination of both mustaches and noses

 

[Eliseo]

Then explain the Mario vs Wario comic from Nintendo Power!

Did you watch fight club?

 

[Graphics Horse]

Pls Explain

 

[HeatBoost]

This kinda thing is only slightly better than stuff like "All the Rugrats are actually dead except Angela" and "It was all the delusion of a crazy person in an insane asylum" theories

 

[broncobuster]

Pls Explain

Clones. Les Enfants Terribles. Next question?

 

[WPS]

I was going to make a joke about seeing them in the same room at the same time, but then I remembered that I've seen Mario, Tanuki Mario, Metal Mario, Baby Mario and another two Marios all on the same Kart Track.

 

[SilentRob]

And why aren't gaming "journalists" taken seriously?

Hrm...

"That guy just posted a funny thing! How dare he, I ask?! How will I ever be able to take him seriously again when he onced made light of gaming's most important icons?! How?! HOW, I ASK?!"

 

[LordKasual]

I have always thought that the idea that Wario is somehow Mario's opposite makes no sense.

Mario likes coins, Wario REALLY likes coins
Mario likes italian food, which is often garlic-heavy. Wario likes Garlic.
Mario can come back to life if he dies, Wario actually immortal
Mario is overweight, Wario is obese

Wario isn't an "anti" mario, he's Extreme Mario, he is Peak Mario

Peak Mario

I do not know why this tickled me as much as it did

 

[Makonero]

I just can't wait for the game set during the Mario Wars, where we see Mario become Wario during an RTS-style war campaign between the toads and the koopas.

 

[Sou Da]

Does he explain how Mario stole his own Castle and Land in Mario Land 2?

 

[Peltz]

 

[DarkTom]

I have always thought that the idea that Wario is somehow Mario's opposite makes no sense.

Mario likes coins, Wario REALLY likes coins
Mario likes italian food, which is often garlic-heavy. Wario likes Garlic.
Mario can come back to life if he dies, Wario actually immortal
Mario is overweight, Wario is obese

Wario isn't an "anti" mario, he's Extreme Mario, he is Peak Mario

Hey nice, that's pretty spot on.

 

[Starwolf_UK]

What about Wario Land? Are you telling me that (ending spoilers)

Spoiler

the jerk that liberates the Princess Peach statue from the ruins of Syrup Castle is in fact not Mario but Luigi? Fits with that theory of Luigi being the richest man in the Mushroom Kingdom.

 

[Makonero]

Does he explain how Mario stole his own Castle and Land in Mario Land 2?

Yep.

Spoiler

It's Mario's son.