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[Triggerhappytel]

Explain Mario Land 2.

It's just like Fight Club except with more coins and hats.

 

[ElTorro]

We somehow have to make head transplantation a part of it.

 

[Anno]

Listening to them stich together this fan fiction on the live cast was pretty entertaining. It's makes enough sense to work for me.

 

[Retro]

Doctor Mario is all about him trying to desperately find a way to cure his Mr. Hyde-like Wario alter ego. He's testing different combinations of drugs against his own neuro-chemistry.

 

[udivision]

wut if next mario is darker and edgier

Is a theory

is a Game Theory

like+sub

 

[Jeremy]

I've never seen such a brazen attempt at conquering the quiet before the storm (aka a slow news day) in the video game journalism industry.

 

[KainXVIII]

Video game journalism

 

[Makonero]

Video game journalism

be careful

if you keep this up, schreier might delay some more games

 

[KainXVIII]

be careful

if you keep this up, schreier might delay some more games

Doh, forgot about that!

 

[13ruce]

This kids is why you don't take drugs to stay up for the Switch presentation.

 

[Huge Succeeded]

I have always thought that the idea that Wario is somehow Mario's opposite makes no sense.

Mario likes coins, Wario REALLY likes coins
Mario likes italian food, which is often garlic-heavy. Wario likes Garlic.
Mario can come back to life if he dies, Wario actually immortal
Mario is overweight, Wario is obese

Wario isn't an "anti" mario, he's Extreme Mario, he is Peak Mario

whoa dude

 

[robotrock]

I have always thought that the idea that Wario is somehow Mario's opposite makes no sense.

Mario likes coins, Wario REALLY likes coins
Mario likes italian food, which is often garlic-heavy. Wario likes Garlic.
Mario can come back to life if he dies, Wario actually immortal
Mario is overweight, Wario is obese

Wario isn't an "anti" mario, he's Extreme Mario, he is Peak Mario

I know this is getting quoted a lot but this is legit mindblowing

 

[Ran rp]

There's your problem, you got it set to W for Wario, when it should be set to M for Mario.

beautiful

 

[AgeEighty]

Who hurt you, Mario?

 

[KennyL]

Source

https://youtu.be/Tov0yLL_Na4

 

[Gangster Bastard]

What if every piece of fiction ever takes place in a post apocalyptic world?

 

[Cheerilee]

In Europe, doesn't Firstname > Lastname often mean "son of".

Mario Mario and Luigi Mario = Mario son of Mario, and Luigi son of Mario.

 

[L Thammy]

None of the Mario games involving the Mushroom Kingdom actually happen. Mario is a regular middle aged man who tried to spice up his life by buying a gorilla. The gorilla then destroyed the construction site Mario was working on, costing him his job and forcing him to take up plumbing to pay the damages. When the court ordered that he was no longer allowed to have an exotic pet and it was released back to its natural habitat, Donkey Kong Island, Mario started to retreat into a fantasy life. He imagined that he could disappear into the pipes and appear in a magical world, where there were princesses to rescue, bad guys to beat, and there's always a nice big cake waiting for him at the end.

Wario reflects the perception Mario has of his real world self. An overweight, selfish, greedy slob. Mario creates this exaggerated image of Wario to dissociate from his own flaws. He can't be any of these things because, if he really was, he would be Wario instead of himself.

 

[Askherserenity]

Yeah, everyone needs to listen to the Idle Thumbs episode where he got his theory from.

And every other Idle Thumbs episode.

Hearing them come up with this shit live was great.

 

[ReaperXL7]

That would explain why Peach keeps trying to escape by running off with King Koopa.

 

[Imperfected]

I appreciate being born into an era where people can get paid for writing an article about a podcast they listened to where people talked about a game they played. I do not mean that ironically; it's a pretty amazing time to be alive.

Also cool people can be this baked at work and still function.

 

[Reptars Revenge]

Then explain that tennis match between them.

 

[sixteen-bit]

Yeah, but what about this guy?

No Mole Mania on DS was a missed opportunity.

 

[Kurdel]

Source

https://youtu.be/Tov0yLL_Na4

I remembered hearing this on the Thumbs.

Saying "I can make money off this!" while listening to Idle Thumbs Mario/Wario theory must be trigger a suite of emotions that shouldn't end in "aaaaand posted!".

 

[Pop-O-Matic]

I appreciate being born into an era where people can get paid for writing an article about a podcast they listened to where people talked about a game they played.

 

[Askherserenity]

I remembered hearing this on the Thumbs.

Saying "I can make money off this!" while listening to Idle Thumbs Mario/Wario theory must be trigger a suite of emotions that shouldn't end in "aaaaand posted!".

Yeah...Feel super weird about this. Yuck.

 

[Comfort Jones]

I see this right above "Kotaku: Prompto is my boyfriend" and I remember why I don't visit that site.

 

[Jake]

Explain Mario Land 2.

We did get into it in the phone call. Not sure if it made the article. I believe that in this garbage joke canon, Mario Land 2 is post-Wario Ascendency, and Mario is going after him. You can see clear remains from the rise of Mario-turned-Wario littering the landscape, most notably Mario Zone, the giant robot automaton he built, now laying nearly-dormant.

I remembered hearing this on the Thumbs.

Saying "I can make money off this!" while listening to Idle Thumbs Mario/Wario theory must be trigger a suite of emotions that shouldn't end in "aaaaand posted!".

Kirk has been on Idle Thumbs a couple times and called and asked if he could write about it and also we talked on Skype about it for a half hour, which he quoted in the story. It's not like he's ripping anyone off.

I have always thought that the idea that Wario is somehow Mario's opposite makes no sense.

Mario likes coins, Wario REALLY likes coins
Mario likes italian food, which is often garlic-heavy. Wario likes Garlic.
Mario can come back to life if he dies, Wario actually immortal
Mario is overweight, Wario is obese

Wario isn't an "anti" mario, he's Extreme Mario, he is Peak Mario

Yeah this is the truth right here.

 

[Choomp]

Not fucking today Kotaku of all days with this, lol

 

[TheGreatDirector]

There's your problem, you got it set to W for Wario, when it should be set to M for Mario.

Waroing, wariology, the study of Wario. It's first grade, people!

 

[Bjoern the Smexy]

If they were the same guy, then who is Mario fighting at the end of Super Mario Land 2?
And who is grabbing the giant golden Peach statue at the end of Wario Land?

No, this is a theory I cannot get behind. The lore says otherwise.

Spoiler

I'm only a little serious

 

[Shig]

Then explain the Mario vs Wario comic from Nintendo Power!

If anything that supports the theory. Mario is the true villain of that comic.

 

[EmCeeGramr]

This theory fails to explain key tenets of the Mario Canon

1) Baby Wario exists in a distinct form from Baby Mario in Yoshi's Island DS. Who is this infant if it's not Wario/Corrupt Mario

2) The events of the groundbreaking Super Famicom title Mario & Wario

3) In Wario's appearances in WarioWare, he doesn't have a kingdom but rather resides in Diamond City, making attempts to run an exploitive game studio with acquaintances. The Mushroom Kingdom and its residents are nowhere to be seen. It's doubtful that a dictator like Wario could escape from a coup in the Mushroom Kingdom without being captured and executed for his crimes, and if did manage to seek political asylum in another nation, he surely would be an important political asset living in luxury or hiding in anonymity; given that he lives in a small home and plasters his name on video games, this seems highly suspect

 

[Jake]

This theory fails to explain key tenets of the Mario Canon

1) Baby Wario exists in a distinct form from Baby Mario in Yoshi's Island DS. Who is this infant if it's not Wario/Corrupt Mario

2) The events of the groundbreaking Super Famicom title Mario & Wario

3) In Wario's appearances in WarioWare, he doesn't have a kingdom but rather resides in Diamond City, making attempts to run an exploitive game studio with acquaintances. The Mushroom Kingdom and its residents are nowhere to be seen. It's doubtful that a dictator like Wario could escape from a coup in the Mushroom Kingdom without being captured and executed for his crimes, and if did manage to seek political asylum in another nation, he surely would be an important political asset living in luxury or hiding in anonymity; given that he lives in a small home and plasters his name on video games, this seems highly suspect

Wait this can all be explained

 

[Toxi]

 

[PtM]

Screw your bear, Kirk Hamilton!

 

[JasonUresti]

None of the Mario games involving the Mushroom Kingdom actually happen. Mario is a regular middle aged man who tried to spice up his life by buying a gorilla. The gorilla then destroyed the construction site Mario was working on, costing him his job and forcing him to take up plumbing to pay the damages. When the court ordered that he was no longer allowed to have an exotic pet and it was released back to its natural habitat, Donkey Kong Island, Mario started to retreat into a fantasy life. He imagined that he could disappear into the pipes and appear in a magical world, where there were princesses to rescue, bad guys to beat, and there's always a nice big cake waiting for him at the end.

Wario reflects the perception Mario has of his real world self. An overweight, selfish, greedy slob. Mario creates this exaggerated image of Wario to dissociate from his own flaws. He can't be any of these things because, if he really was, he would be Wario instead of himself.

This and webrunner pointing out Wario is really extreme Mario are both more entertaining and on point than the Kotaku article.

 

[Pompadour]

Explain Mario Land 2.

Mario Land 2 is essentially Bioshock Infinite.

 

[Mr. F]

Is there any reason in particular GAF has become a Kotaku rss feed

 

[Makonero]

Is there any reason in particular GAF has become a Kotaku rss feed

You are allowed to post articles you would like to share with GAF anytime you like

Threadshitting on the other hand is banworthy

the more you know

 

[Toxi]

This theory fails to explain key tenets of the Mario Canon

3) In Wario's appearances in WarioWare, he doesn't have a kingdom but rather resides in Diamond City, making attempts to run an exploitive game studio with acquaintances. The Mushroom Kingdom and its residents are nowhere to be seen. It's doubtful that a dictator like Wario could escape from a coup in the Mushroom Kingdom without being captured and executed for his crimes, and if did manage to seek political asylum in another nation, he surely would be an important political asset living in luxury or hiding in anonymity; given that he lives in a small home and plasters his name on video games, this seems highly suspect

This can all be easily explained: The Wario in WarioWare is actually the son of the original Wario, who is currently living in hiding disguised as Jimmy T.

 

[stan423321]

I have always thought that the idea that Wario is somehow Mario's opposite makes no sense.

Mario likes coins, Wario REALLY likes coins
Mario likes italian food, which is often garlic-heavy. Wario likes Garlic.
Mario can come back to life if he dies, Wario actually immortal
Mario is overweight, Wario is obese

Wario isn't an "anti" mario, he's Extreme Mario, he is Peak Mario

Yep. Especially given Wario's origins (the dev team being sick of Mario), this checks out.

 

[Starlightmuse]

Is this a David Fincher movie or what?

 

[Brakke]

Why would you credit Kirk Hamilton in the title tho? He's recounting an Idle Thumbs bit.

 

[Makonero]

Why would you credit Kirk Hamilton in the title tho? He's recounting an Idle Thumbs bit.

...because he wrote the article about it?

 

[Crazy Diamond]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLoytewvn0g

 

[Gnome Scat]

Clones. Les Enfants Terribles. Next question?

So we have Solid Mario, Liquid Luigi, and Solidus Wario, but who's the Big Boss?

 

[bachikarn]

So Wario is an evil version of Mario. Crazy theory.