Lets do it. Lets list that shadyness!
- Kickstarter launches. Who's Hyde? "They've made console stuff. We can't tell you." Okay! Thats sometimes how it goes, but we're not off to a good start here. Mystery developer with no prototype to show to assuage any fears about competence.
- Physical copy is $89. Because fuck you thats why. Also you will never get to the Robots arm. Sorry. Please enjoy dreaming about its crotch area, we probably aint going there either.
- Theres gonna be a console stretch tier! We can't tell you which one yet though because of backroom funding chasing reasons. I'm sure we'll find out eventually! Pledge now though, even if your chosen console never gets picked. Hrrrrm.
- Also, can you fund this anime of it as well? Just 5 minutes at first, maybe more depending on how wildly successful you all make this cross media enterprise from the off! Everythings separate though. Parallel worlds. No smart re-use of concept art and animated sequences here. Forks. Forking out.
- Did we mention this is just a Prologue game thing? No? Well theres an actual proper full game that I'm sure we'll get to make eventually down the road, that'll be funded by a normal publisher and stuff.
- Huh, people aint going for this? Howzabout we start trying to sell even that second game we may never get to make as well? And we'll do a one day only special double pack deal for $49!! They're... they're still not buying it? People keep phoning in just to yell "SHENMUE"?
- Right, well, now that double pack is $79. We're not liable if we never make that other game though. You know how these things go! Refunds? There is no 'R' & 'D' in Inafune!
- Oh it turns out you all want it on PS4. Okay then. Well, since it seems like none of the big three wanted to back this either by this point, sure, PS4 stretch at 1 million.
- You know what, fuck it. We've found some dodgy Chinese funding under the sofa. Turns out it was there for the taking if we just went digging deep enough! We could cancel the Kickstarter or describe what it'd even be funding at this point, but... ehhhh. The dream of getting a cool 1 mil from the public for no reason is still one that brings happy tears to Mr Inafune's eyes. "I like the design of the "fuck you give me money" badge. It is most powerfully kawaii."