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BioWare Apologizes for Mass Effect: Deception Errors [Comic: Chapter 16 - Complete]

R

Relaxed Muscle

Member
The ending was beyonf bad, so Kahlee was build up for 2 books as a pretty big character (incredible powerful biotic) and she's just get killed with a toothbrush.

Also rickshaws? fucking rickshaws on omega?!
 
T

TheSeks

Blinded by the luminous glory that is David Bowie's physical manifestation.
Anderson should've totally said "DAMN YOU UNIVERSAL COOLDOWNS! DAMN YOU!" or something at Gillian's death. With a side note that this is "fixed in ME3 if you only carry one gun! :D!"
 
S

Sotha Sil

Member
How can Bioware manage one of its top franchise this poorly? Does this kind of awful novelization hurt the IP at all, or is it actually more profitable to hire a piss-poor author, counting on the fans to buy each and every Mass Effect product? Explain this strategy to us, Nirolak.

Oh, and great job LumpOfCole, the comic is hilarious!
 
D

Des0lar

will learn eventually
BeesEight said:
Give him a medal too! He deserves it.



It took hours to sharpen a toothbrush? What did he sharpen it with? Why didn't he use the sharpener? Why didn't anyone notice him sharpening a toothbrush for hours?

Why did BioWare think this book made Kai Leng a badass?

So many unanswered questions. I really hope Mass Effect 3 addresses these things directly.
Click to expand...

That's a good one.
 
S

Stumpokapow

listen to the mad man
LumpOfCole said:
I believe Dietz specifically describes it as "a prison style shiv" or wording very similar.

Also, thank you guys for the immensely kind words. This was a fun project.
Click to expand...

Contributing an original creative work is a great way to start your tenure on a forum.
 
I

inky

Member
LumpOfCole said:
A cynical part of me hopes that there's actually a Beggar King on Omega in ME3.
Click to expand...

A cynical part of me actually wishes a lot of stuff from the book makes it to the game, like Turian-pulled rickshaw races on Omega. Great comic man, I'm sure you did the book proud.

Also, your friend's blog is pretty cool.
 
S

SpacePirate Ridley

Member
LumpOfCole said:
I put the link in the last panel, but just in case any of you missed it, this is the guy who did the epic toothbrush art:

http://starblasterstudios.blogspot.com/

He did the art for me in exchange for me helping him set up a web domain thing for work. He's an awesome friend and he felt inspired by the toothbrush page of the novel as well.
Click to expand...

Thanks LumpOfCole for this magnificent journey. and dman Dietz.
And tell your friend that i find his art fanstasic, not only the toothbrush scene, but all the blog.

And congrats for the tag!
 
T

The Technomancer

card-carrying scientician
What...was...the...point...did we...did he...sixteen chapters and the only important thing that happens is that Gillian dies? Literally nothing else?
 
S

SerArthurDayne

Member
Bravo good sir.

I'm of two minds about this. I'm happy that the books are meaningless because they won't intrude into the game only territory that I roll in.

I'm sad for everybody that enjoys the extended universe. It is almost like your childhood getting raped. Except your childhood was only four years old before it time traveled to become 18.
 
B

Brobzoid

how do I slip unnoticed out of a gloryhole booth?
I would love to find hendel's audio logs all over my space-scapades in ME3.

DO RIGHT BY HENDEL BIOWARE
 
L

LumpOfCole

Member
Why don't know why the book was titled Deception. Cory Kim deceived the Biotic Underground but that was pretty silly and small since she and Leng simply got captured immediately. The book was all about revenge far more than deception.
 
E

EmCeeGramr

Member
I have to wonder how much was editorial mandate (So-and-so must have a tragic death) and how much was authorial "vision" (major novel character killed with toothbrush shiv after accomplishing nothing).
 
P

patapuf

Member
LumpOfCole said:
Why don't know why the book was titled Deception. Cory Kim deceived the Biotic Underground but that was pretty silly and small since she and Leng simply got captured immediately. The book was all about revenge far more than deception.
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so, Revengence would have been an adequate title?
 
A

afternoon delight

Member
obama_thumbsup.gif


So well done. Thank you for the funny!
 
R

randomlyrossy

Member
EmCeeGramr said:
I have to wonder how much was editorial mandate (So-and-so must have a tragic death) and how much was authorial "vision" (major novel character killed with toothbrush shiv after accomplishing nothing).
Click to expand...

Yeah I have to think Gillian being killed was something that came from Bioware, with the actual method being up to Dietz. That makes it even more infuriating to me, I mean what was the point of her character then if she was just going to be killed off?
 
L

LumpOfCole

Member
Perhaps Bioware originally had lofty plans for Gillian, such as being a character or even a biotic companion in Mass Effect 3. But then plot lines or ideas went in different directions and Bioware outsourced Dietz to basically do a creative abortion on her existence.
 
L

LumpOfCole

Member
Meccanical said:
Did...

Did she really get killed by a toothbrush?
Click to expand...

People are still in disbelief of this moment, so this is the one and only direct excerpt I will post from the book. If this is a ToS no-no, I'll remove it and note not to do this sort of thing. This small bit also gives you an idea of the quality of overall writing.

tRMca.jpg
 
A

Azure Dream

Member
Meccanical said:
Did...

Did she really get killed by a toothbrush?
Click to expand...

ISN'T IT FUNNY HOW ADVANCED THE FUTURE IS, YET ALL HE NEEDS TO KILL HER IS A SIMPLE TOOTHBRUSH?

I think that might seriously be the reaction Dietz expected.

Also, I admit I'm not super-versed on Mass Effect... do they use really traditional toothbrushes? Like bristles on a thin stick? Or is that just Dietz again?
 
B

Bisnic

Really Really Exciting Member!
Kulock said:
ISN'T IT FUNNY HOW ADVANCED THE FUTURE IS, YET ALL HE NEEDS TO KILL HER IS A SIMPLE TOOTHBRUSH?

I think that might seriously be the reaction Dietz expected.

Also, I admit I'm not super-versed on Mass Effect... do they use really traditional toothbrushes? Like bristles on a thin stick? Or is that just Dietz again?
Click to expand...

I dunno, but i always find it funny how 300 years later, people are still using the same cigarettes as right now. Even the aliens are smoking. Even the fucking Elcor merchant in Omega. How can he put cigarettes in his...mouth...thing... is a great question.

edit : derp double post instead of edit
 
R

randomkid

Member
LumpOfCole said:
People are still in disbelief of this moment, so this is the one and only direct excerpt I will post from the book. If this is a ToS no-no, I'll remove it and note not to do this sort of thing. This small bit also gives you an idea of the quality of overall writing.
Click to expand...

holy shit, you can't tell me that "the head butt was one of many things learned from Hendel" is a real sentence from a real writer. Or really, any of these sentences. Jerking spasmodically, frowning, staring up with an accusatory look, whether in rapid succession or simultaneously how is that not straight comedy.
 
L

LumpOfCole

Member
randomkid said:
holy shit, you can't tell me that "the head butt was one of many things learned from Hendel" is a real sentence from a real writer. Or really, any of these sentences. Jerking spasmodically, frowning, staring up with an accusatory look, whether in rapid succession or simultaneously how is that not straight comedy.
Click to expand...

Now you realize why I felt compelled to make a comic out of the whole bloody thing.
 
A

Agkel

Member
LumpOfCole said:
People are still in disbelief of this moment, so this is the one and only direct excerpt I will post from the book. If this is a ToS no-no, I'll remove it and note not to do this sort of thing. This small bit also gives you an idea of the quality of overall writing.

*img
Click to expand...

For some reason I read this as if I was William Shatner... Not quite sure if it made it better or worse, all I know is I feel dirty.
 
A

Aaron

Member
The writing is so bad it reads like a fanfic writer still in high school. Writing this instead of paying attention in English class, in a country where English is a second language. Also he stole the idea from Chronicles of Riddick.
 
H

Haly

One day I realized that sadness is just another word for not enough coffee.
It would take less effort to just write a entirely new book and send a copy to everyone who bought it by way of apology.

How does one even go about restructuring the very foundations of a novel, prose, language and all?
 
F

Freeza Under The Shower

Member
afternoon delight said:
Holy shit he's a published author. I know video game fan fiction isn't much, but DAYUM. That is some horrendous language usage.
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that actually amazed me more than the actual toothbrush.

The panel was absolutely brilliant btw. Classic (parody) entertainment value.

Not sure what the point of the novel (and good lord @ that writing style, seriously. Is someone 'narrating' this afterwards or something? IM?), but the rage comics made it totally worth it.
 
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