"Did the ship move for you too, darling?"
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BioWare Apologizes for Mass Effect: Deception Errors [Comic: Chapter 16 - Complete]
- Thread starter LiK
- Start date
"Did the ship move for you too, darling?"
R_thanatos
Member
wellll okkay ...i see thanks for the precision. i guess you'd be busy too in those circustances
LumpOfCole
Member
Chapter 7... Guys. This is where the book starts to get bad.
Happy bowls.
Happy bowls.
I don't see anything...
This is.. amazing.
That can't be real. No way.
Below shitty fanfic-level writing right there.
Arjen
Member
It's real
award winning!
This is.. amazing.
Trojita
Rapid Response Threadmaker
This is.. amazing.
this reads like its straight from fanfiction.net
LumpOfCole
Member
Chapter 7 is all Omega, all Nick, and all Gillian. Comic should be coming tonight.
Arjen
Member
Briliant. I thought the vase pissing was even more hilarious then the cereal part honestly.
It sucks, but I'm still going to finish it. Because I hate myself.
Press A for awesome manuscript.
Nah, they just didn't read it. Hudson Ctrled-F "asari", "stripper", "awesome" and "badass", found 450 matches, wrote Dietz a check and called it a day.
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
This is.. amazing.
"But Leng was something of an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed being where he was"
I have literally read internet fan-fiction that was written better then that.
Arjen
Member
What?
Kai Leng breaks into an appartment, so he can watch a nightclub to spot someone coming out. To make sure he doesn't miss anything, be borrows a vase he can piss in...
I swear this actually happens and is described in detail.
EmCeeGramr
Member
okay
so
clear your mind
is it cleared? good.
now then. imagine some tattooed secret agent assassin dude. he has sneaked into an unoccupied apartment. he is placing wiretaps all around for clandestine black ops shit.
suddenly, he is reaching into a cupboard. he is pulling out a box of Oops! All Crunch Berries and pouring it into a bowl.
he is voraciously chowing down on this cereal
"I'M AN ADRENALINE JUNKIE! THIS IS MY APARTMENT NOW! *munch much* I'M FUCKING KING OF THE JUNGLE!! *crunch*"
*spirit animal gorilla rises up behind him and beats chest as this ninja-looking motherfucker just tears into this cereal*
so
clear your mind
is it cleared? good.
now then. imagine some tattooed secret agent assassin dude. he has sneaked into an unoccupied apartment. he is placing wiretaps all around for clandestine black ops shit.
suddenly, he is reaching into a cupboard. he is pulling out a box of Oops! All Crunch Berries and pouring it into a bowl.
he is voraciously chowing down on this cereal
"I'M AN ADRENALINE JUNKIE! THIS IS MY APARTMENT NOW! *munch much* I'M FUCKING KING OF THE JUNGLE!! *crunch*"
*spirit animal gorilla rises up behind him and beats chest as this ninja-looking motherfucker just tears into this cereal*
It's written like the author is trying to re-tell something he saw rather than trying to tell a story he's coming up with and envisioning. I think that's what makes that passage odd...?
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
"CHARACTER was an ADJECTIVE/DESCRIPTOR" is usually a warning sign. Better authors work it into the text more seamlessly.
I mean, off the top of my head I can spit out something like "Leng looked around the apartment one last time, adrenaline pounding through him. On impulse he yanked open the cupboards and grabbed a box of cereal..."
Lostconfused
Member
LumpOfCole's new tag
LumpOfCole
Member
If a new tag was spontaneously thrust upon me, I would hope it would be along the lines of Cereal Killer.
That's actually a member's name already.
LumpOfCole
Member
I'd settle for Vase Defiler if a gun were pointed at my head.
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
I wouldn't push it
Asking for something is a surefire way to make sure it doesn't happen
LumpOfCole
Member
I'm indifferent about titles in all actuality. It's good enough for me to know that folks are enjoying the comics
That being said, I would like to make it clear that I would not want anything the length of ""I'M AN ADRENALINE JUNKIE! THIS IS MY APARTMENT NOW! *munch much* I'M FUCKING KING OF THE JUNGLE!! *crunch*"" despite how flattering such an endowment would be.
That being said, I would like to make it clear that I would not want anything the length of ""I'M AN ADRENALINE JUNKIE! THIS IS MY APARTMENT NOW! *munch much* I'M FUCKING KING OF THE JUNGLE!! *crunch*"" despite how flattering such an endowment would be.
ThoseDeafMutes
Member
I'm indifferent about titles in all actuality. It's good enough for me to know that folks are enjoying the comics
That being said, I would like to make it clear that I would not want anything the length of ""I'M AN ADRENALINE JUNKIE! THIS IS MY APARTMENT NOW! *munch much* I'M FUCKING KING OF THE JUNGLE!! *crunch*"" despite how flattering such an endowment would be.
Moderators are immune to reverse psychology!
We're just gonna paint some happy little bowls into the comic?
"Leng finished placing the wiretaps in Anderson's apartment. 'Now all that's left to do is wait...' He said aloud. Suddenly, his stomach started to growl. 'It may be unprofessional, but screw it, I'm hungry.' Leng started to raid the cupboards. 'Ah-hah!' He exclaimed. 'Some cereal, and a bowl in the <insert future word for dishwasher>! Now to see if there is some milk in the fridge.'
As he raided the fridge, he could hear the Illusive Man berating him, but Leng liked to live life on the edge and this was a thrill."
Something like that?
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
LumpOfCole
Member
The correct way to handle the cereal scene is to not have the cereal scene.
Freeza Under The Shower
Member
I don't follow on what the error is exactly. I'm assuming the space age context?
edit: oh, the Anderson's room cereal scene. Problem solved.
EmCeeGramr
Member
Oh god, he looks even more ridiculous than Lump's rendition. :lol
Amazing comic btw Lump.
Oh my God, those are goggles? From the art I thought they were some kind of awkward KISS tattoos.
MrTroubleMaker
Member
He's future Nightwing.
Oh god, he looks even more ridiculous than Lump's rendition. :lol
Amazing comic btw Lump.
Where'd you find this?!
It's from one of the five trailers in the other thread.
LumpOfCole
Member
I usually like their designs, but this one isn't doing much for me.
I think it's the mask.
randomlyrossy
Member
Wow, thinking about THAT dude in the cereal scene makes it even more stupid than it already was.
charlequin
Banned
That would certainly explain... well, maybe some of how terrible it is.
The sad thing is that the idea of some jackwagon operative who breaks into the hero's apartment and eats his cereal is actually kind of hilarious. In a Mass Effect novel it's just dumb, but in something else (probably a movie so you can just show it instead of having to belabor the point), with the right tone, it might work. BUT NOW IT'S RUINED FOREVER THANKS A LOT WILLIAM C. DIETZ.
