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The peanut butter sandwich hack nobody asked for

I wonder if she lied by saying she knew how to make these drinks or if they just didn't give a shit.
I like to think it is the other way where she’s just some actress doing a day session and didn’t know the details until she showed up and was reading on cue cards that she was going to have to be making drinks.
 
Want to know an actual peanut butter based sandwich you've been missing out on? Combine the following like a normal person, and you get weird magic:

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Toasted
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Thank me later.

Ok, I did this last time I was high, and it truly was magic.
 
Woah, this felt like a SNL skit about someone who is slowly losing their mind.

The only thing you'd really need to make this a full-on dark comedy skit is for her to lean in close to the kid at the end and say, "Eat it. Put it in your mouth you little bastard. I didn't throw my life away to sit here and watch you not eat my fucking gluggies."
 

big_z

Member
There are only three reasons your bread would rip spreading peanut butter:

1. You push way too hard
2. You’re one of those that keep the peanut butter in the fridge
3. You buy trash bread like wonder bread
 

pxleyes

Banned
The only real PB&J hack is to always remember to do the PB first. Then you can use the other slice of bread to wipe off your knife before using it in the J.
 
I use the peanut butter that you have to stir and so after I stir the peanut butter, I just pour it onto my slice of bread...
 
Haven't seen it mentioned, but peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches are damn good, too.

There’s some peanut butter substitute they serve kids now, I forget what it’s called.
Wowbutter is the brand I noticed at my daughter's summer camp. She hates peanut butter (though she used to eat it as a very young kid). My life would be so much easier if she'd liked it.
Has anyone referenced the PB Jife yet?

Make sure to watch the video with audio, there's a killer track there.

Just to be clear, this is a knife specifically used for peanut butter.
I use a knife like this, for the last of the peanut butter, Nutella, Cookie Butter, Biscoff Spread, etc. Works great.

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I actually love this hack, don't hate unless you've tried it!

My favorite thing about this hack is how quick it is! Only takes a few hours in the freezer, unlike other amazing recipes like Doritos Consomme.
Making a consommé seems a little elaborate, but using Doritos as a base for a corn soup isn't so out-there.
 
I just get the Smuckers mixed PB&J and use Bunny whole grain ultra soft white bread. Shit never rips and tastes wonderful with a glass of whole milk. In fact I just had that meal. For getting the PB&J out of the jar, I use a spoon and use the bottom of the spoon to spread it on the bread.
 

hateradio

The Most Dangerous Yes Man
I use a knife like this, for the last of the peanut butter, Nutella, Cookie Butter, Biscoff Spread, etc. Works great.

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I don't know if it would be the same with other brands, but with the PB brand I use (Whole Earth, smooth) the butter which is hard to reach just below the rim feels slightly more dense and doesn't taste as good as the rest of the jar. So yeah, not worth the extra hassle. I do like the idea of the knife, though.
 
That just seems like a waste of parchment paper to me. I'll just continue using the entire palm of my hand to glob Peanut Butter on my toast... why waste time dirtying utensils?
Not really serious here
 

RSP

Member
As a dad, I make BP sandwiches every morning.

- Take a knife
- Take out PB
- Take slice of bread
- Put PB on the fucking slice of bread
- DONE

INSTEAD, I'm going to:

- Take out wooden spoon
- Take out PB
- Take out paper
- Put PB on the fucking paper
- Fold paper over PB
- Take out rolling pin
- Roll the paper
- Put PB-slice in freezer
- WAIT FOR FOUR HOURS
- Take out PB-slice
- Take out scissors
- Cut PB-slice into smaller PB-slices
- Put back in freezer
- WAIT UNTIL MORNING
- Take slice of bread
- Take out smaller PB-slices
- Put PB-slices on bread
- Give bread to kids
- Hear the moan about how it's frozen
- Put PB-sliced bread in microwave to thaw
- Give bread to kids
- Apply first aid to kids because they have now burned their mouths on lava-temperature PB-sliced bread
- Throw away the bread
- Take a knife
- Take out PB
- Take slice of bread
- Put PB on the fucking slice of bread
- DONE
 

GhaleonEB

Member
If she's a sandwich master, why does she need to do all that to spread peanut butter? Wouldn't master sandwich makers know the secrets of spreading peanut butter?
 
If she's a sandwich master, why does she need to do all that to spread peanut butter? Wouldn't master sandwich makers know the secrets of spreading peanut butter?

It’s comparable to the ancient techniques of forging a katana; it may seem labour-intensive by todays standards - but the end product is unparallelled.
 

pfkas

Member
It's probably been said, but I'm not reading the whole thread to find out. But, what she gave those kids was not a sandwich. Granted, she could upgrade it to another slice but then she'd probably give them a cardiac arrest or something.
 

I burst out laughing when she says "3oz of bourbon" and just DUMPS half the bottle into the glass.

Also, if this is your thing, just order a triple on the rocks with a bunch of candy in it. Same thing and saves the bartender time.

I actually love this hack, don't hate unless you've tried it!

My favorite thing about this hack is how quick it is! Only takes a few hours in the freezer, unlike other amazing recipes like Doritos Consomme.

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Literally in tears from reading the comments on this video.
 
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