FunkMiller
Member
At least Crystal Skull had some fucking energy. This piece of shit is soulless, empty, dead inside, and lacking anything even remotely resembling a heartbeat.
The saddest swansong for a character I think I've ever seen. Pathetic.
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Indiana Jones & The Dial of Destiny
- Thread starter Darkmakaimura
- Start date
At least Crystal Skull had some fucking energy. This piece of shit is soulless, empty, dead inside, and lacking anything even remotely resembling a heartbeat.
The saddest swansong for a character I think I've ever seen. Pathetic.
*punches Indy in the face*
*cut to him asleep in his NYC apartment*
Hey, remember Marion?
The end~
They had a 75 year man to work with. My dad is that age and can still do a lot of yard work, but he ain't sprinting off down the street and slugging it out with street thugs.
FunkMiller
Member
I'm actually gobsmacked by how bad this film is. It's a depressing, boring slog, with zero creativity anywhere, at any time. It's so straight forward I have to wonder if it was written by somebody with the IQ of a hamburger. You have a time travel device - and that's all you do with it? That really is the ending they thought was best for Indiana Jones? An old cunt getting punched out by a girl, who selfishly forces him to go back to a place he hates?
My god.
FunkMiller
Member
His age was not the problem. They could have done so much more with it. They could have made it count. They could have explored the weight of all his years, of all his decisions. They could have made him come to terms with his mistakes, and his triumphs. They had a TIME TRAVEL DEVICE, for crying out loud.
But we get a non-ending, after a series of boring events that display no evidence of any creative spark whatsoever.
I genuinely don't think I've ever seen a film this bereft of anything.
They had $330 million, too. Could’ve done anything.
And yes, instead of making him dignified, wise, and clever, they make him an impotent grumpy loser who still tries to punch people out.
I heard that the Indian moon landing cost less than the budget of Interstellar.
So imagine if LucasArts just made a moon mission to drop a whip, fedora, and golden idol on to the moon instead of making this movie....
Sleepwalker
Member
Lol at this movie, bad guy is perplexed his math was wrong and then proceeds to just crash and die without any sort of decent final confrontation.
Indy wants to stay only to get knocked out cold by a girl and dragged back? No meaningful conversation with Archimedes? No deeper exploration of the ancient times? They are in the middle of an ancient war and they couldn't even bother to put in a melee fight with a soldier.
They had a lot to work with, with Mads being the villain but he also felt undercooked, they preferred to spend a lot of the run time exploring the woman and the kid. This is yet another movie with a stupid annoying kid, whats up with this trend?
I found this exchange between Indy and woman quite funny:
Indy : " I dont know how you turned out like this?"
Woman (i forgot her name, sorry lol): "like what? Smart, confident, strong, resourceful?"
And here I am facepalming thinking no, more like a criminal, liar, manipulator and downright sociopath.
Theres another exchange after the boat scene:
Woman: "wow that was fun, we made it!!"
Indy: "My friend just died back there."
Woman: ".... sorry"
What the fuck are these characters?
Indy wants to stay only to get knocked out cold by a girl and dragged back? No meaningful conversation with Archimedes? No deeper exploration of the ancient times? They are in the middle of an ancient war and they couldn't even bother to put in a melee fight with a soldier.
They had a lot to work with, with Mads being the villain but he also felt undercooked, they preferred to spend a lot of the run time exploring the woman and the kid. This is yet another movie with a stupid annoying kid, whats up with this trend?
I found this exchange between Indy and woman quite funny:
Indy : " I dont know how you turned out like this?"
Woman (i forgot her name, sorry lol): "like what? Smart, confident, strong, resourceful?"
And here I am facepalming thinking no, more like a criminal, liar, manipulator and downright sociopath.
Theres another exchange after the boat scene:
Woman: "wow that was fun, we made it!!"
Indy: "My friend just died back there."
Woman: ".... sorry"
What the fuck are these characters?
Evil Calvin
Afraid of Boobs
Did this ever come out?
FunkMiller
Member
Mangold could have made a great final Indiana Jones movie for a hundred million, tops. He nailed Logan perfectly, and I think he could have told a very emotional and effective story about Indy as well.
But no. Fuck the old man. Fuck the old films. Here's Fleabag shooting the villain and being the one with all the answers. Forget any tension, suspense, humour or excitement. You get wall to wall CGI, a thirty minute plot stretched to two and a half hours, the single worst ending in history, and the greatest action adventure character ever created reduced to a fumbling old cunt who needs rescuing from himself.
Kathleen Kennedy is a cunt of the highest order.
FunkMiller
Member
Stupidly, I thought we were going to get a more esoteric ending, maybe something along the lines of Interstellar, with the dial showing Indy his past, his present and his future, and how he's made a difference to the world... or something uplifting like that. At least something maybe bizarre and multi-layered. Even if it failed it would have at least made an effort.
Nope. Through rift. Crash plane. Punch in face. End. No climax. No showdown. Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Despite any director comments to the contrary, I just GOTTA think there was, at some point, a plotline where 60's Indy was consulted over a strange skeleton found at the Archimedes site and at the end Indy stays behind and yes, it was his own skeleton. This film felt SOOOO creaky, every rewrite and spitballed idea was still partially there. I'm kinda hoping for a Synder Cut type deal where we get another hour or so that makes Mads villain more logical and conniving, the whole FBI thing more plausible, and Indy's relationship with, well, ANYONE, more tangible.
FunkMiller
Member
Hell, just explaining what the fuck the dial actually does would have been nice. It points to time fissures. How many? Don't know. How does it do it? Don't know. Is it just to that one time period? Don't know. Why does continental drift affect how far back in time you go? Don't know. How do the fissure form? Don't know.
As opposed to:
"The ark is a radio for talking to god."
ONE FUCKING SENTENCE.
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VulcanRaven
Member
I liked the that scene. I was worried Indy would stay so I'm glad it didn't happen. That punch was funny and many at my showing laughed.
I wish Ke Huy Quan had been back as Short Round. He could have maybe replaced Antonio Bandera's character and joined the adventure for the rest of the movie.
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Badlucktroll
Member
I would have loved to see a rip roaring rolicking Atlantis Indiana Jones that was made in the 90s. i think 1995 would have been a good year for it
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
It's so depressing to hear about this movie. I haven't seen it yet but I'm a huge Indiana Jones fan and Raiders of the Lost Ark as my favorite movie of all time. I even really love Temple of Doom.
I think I'm going to subscribe to Disney Plus for one month if the movie is available there just to watch this train wreck. I want to see first hand what it's like.
I think I'm going to subscribe to Disney Plus for one month if the movie is available there just to watch this train wreck. I want to see first hand what it's like.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
What really bothers me is that Fleabag actress it's going to be the star of the new Alien movie and maybe the series as well.
Disney loves reusing their actors for all these big budget movies and shows. It's only a matter of time before she shows up in a Star Wars streaming episode.
Disney loves reusing their actors for all these big budget movies and shows. It's only a matter of time before she shows up in a Star Wars streaming episode.
May I introduce, Han Solo.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Not surprised they had her play one of the most annoying characters in Star Wars.I hate to break it to you...
How long before she appears in Marvel now or has she already?
Salz01
Member
This thread scares me. I saw it came out on iTunes today and want to check it out. Avoided going to the theater just because of all the initial negativity. I’m a huge Raiders/Temple of Doom fan. Looking through the reactions here, seems I’m best to just have the fond memories of the old ones and not watch this. Makes me sad…..
Saber
Gold Member
Maybe I just saw a different part, but what part of her punching Indiana(while everything somehow returns to normal) was funny exactly?
In Crystal Skull he has his friend already crazy by the effect of the skull asking for "help", only to get help from the enemies(back to square one), not to mention Indie fear of snakes. That was actually funny.
This film has a clear intention of destroy Indiana Jones the character. It doesn't matter if people find Crystal Skull terrible(I enjoyed that film but completelly understand why people hate it), at least none of those later movies made Indiana Jones a completelly disgrace of character.
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VulcanRaven
Member
The punch and how it was done. I have seen many saying it was funny. Indy wanted to stay but it was a crazy idea so Helena couldn't let him do that.
FunkMiller
Member
Ah yes… the perfect way to end the movie series of a beloved action adventure character is to have his agency totally robbed from him by Kathleen Kennedy’s self insert character.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
This is exactly how I feel.
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
Boring?
Ffs, it takes a "special" kind of touch to make Indiana Jones boring.
I am become Disney, destroyer of franchises.
Billbofet
Member
Finished this slough of a movie last night. It is so boring my kids noped out about halfway through.
Thinking this through had Indy or Helena just handed the dial over to the baddies, so many innocent lives could have been saved, and the baddies would have had the same end result.
Helana has to be one of the all-time least likable characters, but at least she can throw a punch that will knock a person out for three to five days....
I recall Mangold bragging about how many practical effects were employed in this movie, yet to me, it was just a mess of CGI like any other movie.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Thinking this through had Indy or Helena just handed the dial over to the baddies, so many innocent lives could have been saved, and the baddies would have had the same end result.
Helana has to be one of the all-time least likable characters, but at least she can throw a punch that will knock a person out for three to five days....
I recall Mangold bragging about how many practical effects were employed in this movie, yet to me, it was just a mess of CGI like any other movie.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
BlackTron
Member
Insert KK's smug ass wink here
Grildon Tundy
Member
Is it worth watching or nah? Love the OG trilogy. Crystal Skull was disappointing, but I didn't feel like my childhood was thrown in the trash.
Fake
Member
Huge nah. I saw shit movies back in day and this was totally trash.
Stick with the old ones.
6502
Member
I just watched it for the first time after buying on sky. It really doesn't deserve all the hate. It is not as bad as crystal skull, it is a bit longer than it needed to be, the action is nothing you haven't already seen from from the franchise. It's an ok movie, it won't hurt you to watch it. I'd give it a 7/10
Fake
Member
With all due respect, is worst than Crystal Skull by a galaxy mile.
Crystal Skull is a 'bad movie' no doubt, but is not a movie that is trying to kill the Indiana Jones as a character. I never saw a movie that have such a dedication to kill their main character as this one.
In the end, both Crystal Skull and Dial are bad, BUUUUUTTTT Dial of Destiny is impossible for a Indiana Jones fan to watch. I would only recommend Dial of Destiny if you're a casual or never watched the series before.
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Saber
Gold Member
Not worth if you care about Indiana Jones the character or the franchise.
If you are one those who doesn't care about anything or just go straight to " I don't understand the hate", then go for it.
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6502
Member
Been a fan for decades. It isn't trying to kill the franchise, i'd say skull was more a candidate for that with the son taking up too much screen time. Here the sidekick was a woman, not a very pleasant character, the story is adequet but too long. Those are the issues.
It wasn't a political thing. There really isn't much more to it than modern film making meeting aged actor retreading steps for fans, and making an ok job of it.
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Saber
Gold Member
Does Crystal Skull portrait Indiana as a completelly loser?
Was his son trying to outsmart Indiana? Was he trying to be better or making a fool of Indiana? Was he even more inteligent than Indiana and more knowledgable than him?
In the Crystal Skull, his son is a sidekick. I don't remember a single part of the film where he tried to steal the spotlight of Indie.
At this point I honestly think we watched 2 different movies.
6502
Member
I didn't take it as Indy was a loser. He was trying to do his thing despite having to look out for his bitch of a god daughter. She wasnt beating him, she thought she was the shit but Indy got the bad guys motivation, decoded the riddle, got the artifact and got the motivation behind its creation.
Lukaku's First Touch
Member
I watched this movie and actually liked it a lot compared to crystal skull. Only the way the woman acted for 80% of the movie was very annoying.
Oberstein
Member
Mixed feelings for The Dial of Destiny.
On the one hand, it's not as catastrophic as the previous one, but on the other there's so much crap that breaks up the good moments where the filmmaker tries to make us feel like a real Indiana Jones.
Inevitably, the boring, ugly kid wasn't a good idea. The chase sequences drag on and on, the underwater diving scene is boring as hell, Antonio Banderas is useless, the Nazis shooting at the Romans is just stupid, okay, they're Nazis but they're not idiots (and so is the fact that they keep piloting right on top of the ships, which is completely stupid), okay, Spielberg will be happy but it's stupid, etc.
Phoebe Waller-Bridge is sometimes annoying, sometimes barely passing the mark, in short, the problem of Harrison Ford's "replacement" has never been solved. And that's the problem. It's watchable, but I don't know... maybe the formula just doesn't work anymore. Times have changed, and years of crappy movies with crappy modern ideas have changed my perception of cinema. I'd like to go back to the '90s, without the Internet.
On the one hand, it's not as catastrophic as the previous one, but on the other there's so much crap that breaks up the good moments where the filmmaker tries to make us feel like a real Indiana Jones.
Inevitably, the boring, ugly kid wasn't a good idea. The chase sequences drag on and on, the underwater diving scene is boring as hell, Antonio Banderas is useless, the Nazis shooting at the Romans is just stupid, okay, they're Nazis but they're not idiots (and so is the fact that they keep piloting right on top of the ships, which is completely stupid), okay, Spielberg will be happy but it's stupid, etc.
Phoebe Waller-Bridge is sometimes annoying, sometimes barely passing the mark, in short, the problem of Harrison Ford's "replacement" has never been solved. And that's the problem. It's watchable, but I don't know... maybe the formula just doesn't work anymore. Times have changed, and years of crappy movies with crappy modern ideas have changed my perception of cinema. I'd like to go back to the '90s, without the Internet.
Liljagare
Member
Lol, absolutely don't get the dislike for this one. It was the best one after 1 and 2.
I think people have forgotten just how utterly stupid those movies were, and they were just popcorn flicks.
Remember, the entire series could have ended with the first movie, Indy didn't have to do anything in it.
If he had just given the Ark to the Nazi's to open in front of Hitler instead of screwing it all up, the movie would have been better.
I think people have forgotten just how utterly stupid those movies were, and they were just popcorn flicks.
Remember, the entire series could have ended with the first movie, Indy didn't have to do anything in it.
If he had just given the Ark to the Nazi's to open in front of Hitler instead of screwing it all up, the movie would have been better.
funkygunther
Banned
It’s offensively boring and unfunny 
AJUMP23
Member
It doesn’t even tell an interesting story.It’s offensively boring and unfunny
ShadowNate
Member
The god daughter is written as a complete sociopath from get go, and improves only slightly maybe towards the end; however shows 0 regret for all the suffering and death she's been the main catalyst for.
This movie would have been redeemed if out of nowhere, in the final moments she bursts into tears and barely making sense breaks the fourth wall and promises that the writers will never write another IJ movie and Disney can go fuck itself for ruining the franchise with two movies too many.
Edit: But then again, there's Matrix 4 that kind of did that, and it still sucked.
This movie would have been redeemed if out of nowhere, in the final moments she bursts into tears and barely making sense breaks the fourth wall and promises that the writers will never write another IJ movie and Disney can go fuck itself for ruining the franchise with two movies too many.
Edit: But then again, there's Matrix 4 that kind of did that, and it still sucked.
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Liamario
Banned
Yep, she was a totally unlikeable character and never redeemed herself.
What do you mean? She denied Indy an absolutely unique opportunity to end his life on his own terms, took him back to a woman she probably barely knows, and gets to smile smugly about it and get ice cream. Character arc complete!
Billbofet
Member
Plus, don't you think Indy would hate her for causing the death of so many of his friends and putting him through hell for nothing? She caused most of what he suffered through in the movie. I am surprised they didn't show her still have the bag of diamonds Zoller gave her on the boat so they could give her another "win" in the end.
Liamario
Banned
I'm just expecting too much from her. I should learn my place as a filthy white cis male.
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