So, I'm a bit confused as to what would actually be okay and what isn't here.
For example, there are numerous stand up shows or comedic acts that take the piss out of different races. Being Indian, I know Russell Peters is probably a good example of it. He makes jokes about every race, but I'll focus on the ones about indian people for simplicity sake.
The jokes, whether you find them funny or not, usually attempt to cement some stereotype or create new ones. Now, i could either get offended by some or laugh and go along with it (similar to #firstworldproblems). Once the joke gets around, two things usually happened. 1) people would take the stereotype to some extreme and straight out believe it without question or 2) it would start a conversation (did you really get beat as a kid? [answer: yup]). Getting beat as a kid for example, is something I look back and can laugh at, though I'm absolutely sure that is not the case for some one else. We both have different experiences, but does that mean that the other person has the right to be angry at those jokes and instigate guilt? Or should the comedian, who might actually just be recalling their own memory and thoughts [at the time of the incident, not necessarily how they feel now] take their words back?
So I'm not sure why this is necessarily any different? Maybe Dave is a transphobic, maybe he isn't. Maybe what he said were his exact thoughts and not necessarily pushing some agenda of whether he was right or wrong in what he said. Lately, I feel that it's better to hold my tongue than say anything at the risk of being bashed on instead of spurring discussion.
And to be honest, I don't know what the correct term would be. If I wasn't able to tell what orientation a person was, is it so wrong to just take an innocent guess based on characteristics that you have [for the majority of your life and possibly applicable to the majority of people in your life] associated with a type of person? Wouldn't the next logical step for an observer to then correct them, and if they don't get it, explain why that's wrong or offensive?