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Comic Nerds, can we talk about how messed up Marvel's Celestial Madonna arc was?

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Slayven

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The Celestial Madonna was a storyline running through avengers and a few books about a prophacy that said that a human woman that was genetically perfect will give birth to a child that would change the universe. The candidates were revealed to be

Mantis


Scarlet Witch


Agartha Harkness(she just happened to be in the general location with the Madonna at the time)


Moondragon


Moondragon was eliminated almost immediately because she was an ass. But it began an arc of every 2 bit cosmic knucklehead trying to find the Madonna and impregnate her so they could use the kid to take over the universe.

It was revealed that Mantis was the cosmic madonna, she died and had her spirit implanted into planet matter while a alien priest inhabited the body of her dead husband and they go off into space to make the perfect baby.

Except the kid turns out to be a dud


And grows up to be a douche


Oh and Mantis speaks in the third person Refering to herself as "This One", cause she was raised in a Vietnamese brothel after her father left her and her mother behind.

Shit while I am at it lets talk about Mantra. Mantra is a Ultraverse(former indy now owned by marvel) character. Mantra is an ancient male warrior wizard who's soul in put in the body of a modern single mother. The jokes right themselves don't they. Then it gets weird, the warrior wizard falls in love with his host's soul because comics, she now in back in control her body gets pregnant.



Because the pregnancy is magic the baby is born in a few days, and promptly possessed by the warrior wizard's eternal enemy



Super ages the body and gives her trashy tattoos. They never really completed the storyline because the Ultraverse got rebooted and then shut down.

One more remember when Power Girl's then grandfather(her history is a thread in itself), impregnated her for "reasons"?


The baby was born fought some demon and then disappeared literally.
 

Makonero

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still not worse than carol danvers getting impregnated and raped by her own son(!?) and the avengers being like, cool! a baby!

 

Mesoian

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Yup.

People spend so much energy getting mad about a woman thor or a black spiderman and i'm just sitting here like, "remember when Thanos made his brother who was also She Hulk's exboyfriend and good friend a galactic rapist by accidently bestowing latent powers that made women inrrationally attracted to him, and then they had a galactic tribunal which never really got solved?"

I don't even need to go to the Ms. Marvel well, there's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much other stuff. Protip: Most comics are super poorly written.
 

LiveFromKyoto

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There's going to be a whole generation that grows up thinking the Avengers were always a big deal, without having any idea that aside from like two runs they were perpetual garbage until the end of the millennium and everyone liked the X-Men instead.
 

Sesha

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So this was the topic you mentioned before (can't remember which thread) that you wanted to make.

Cape comics have done some weird shit with female characters.

There's been worse.



Comic books do some seriously weird shit sometimes but nothing puts me off more than weird pregnancy stuff. That Kitty Pride cover is like some hentai pregnancy fetish shit.
I'd forgotten all about this. Thanks :S
 

echoshifting

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In Peter David's X-Factor, Multiple Man and Siryn/Banshee hit the sheets and she gets pregnant.
When the baby is born he absorbs it as soon as he touches it

He impregnated her with a dupe

That was a weird one
 

Slayven

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There's going to be a whole generation that grows up thinking the Avengers were always a big deal, without having any idea that aside from like two runs they were perpetual garbage until the end of the millennium and everyone liked the X-Men instead.
We can get into some X-men fuckery
 

HStallion

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There is part of me wondering what a pregnant woman drawn by Rob Liefeld would look like and then I shudder.
 

JC Lately

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I now have a new appreciation for how direct Spider-Woman’s pregnancy was:

“I wanted to be a have a kid. So I went to a sperm bank. The end.”
 

echoshifting

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I now have a new appreciation for how direct Spider-Woman’s pregnancy was:

“I wanted to be a have a kid. So I went to a sperm bank. The end.”
I want to believe that will be true forever

But on a scale of now to however many more decades/centuries Marvel publishes Spider-Woman stories, it will eventually be retconned into something weird

Best case scenario is probably the baby becoming a time traveling super hero which is what happened to Luke and Jessica's kid, formerly the most normal parents/child in comics

And the Richards kids
 

JC Lately

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I want to believe that will be true forever

But on a scale of now to however many more decades/centuries Marvel publishes Spider-Woman stories, it will eventually be retconned into something weird

Best case scenario is probably the baby becoming a time traveling super hero which is what happened to Luke and Jessica's kid, formerly the most normal parents/child in comics

And the Richards kids
Yeah, its only a matter of time before its retconned the sperm she used actually belonged to a Skrull or a guy that was infected by the brood, or was actually from her own son, who went back in time to donate it so he could be born. Or wasn’t sperm at all but actually stem cells stolen from Captain Marvel, making Carol the “father”.

….Actually I’d be okay with that last one.
 

Toa TAK

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All I've learned in comics is that pregnancy is a topic that is never not weird.

Why did you remember me me of this.
 

Makonero

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I keep forgetting about her.

Not even her baby bump can keep my attention. One day she'll be interesting.
The fact that she has literally NOTHING to do with Spider-Man keeps her super boring. I mean, why even name her that? It's ridiculous.
 
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