Hello everyone.
I'm here to tell you that everyone's favorite newcomer, King Dedede, is pretty much already the best character in the game. If he's not your favorite character, that's okay, it just means that you're wrong.
First, we'll start with the obvious.
Look at him. Just look at him. King Dedede is a giant penguin that wears a king's robe, wields a massive hammer, and as far as I can tell, wears yellow boxing gloves. If you can't tell how awesome this is, there is something wrong with you.
So, now we know what King Dedede is, but
who is King Dedede? Let's find out!
Taken from from the Dojo...
"
The self-proclaimed king of Dream Land formally joins the brawl! Mechanizing his wooden mallet, he delivers a mighty, earth-shaking blow!"
Everything about this is beautiful. Let's break it down.
He's a self-proclaimed king. How freaking cool is that? Sure, there have been many kings, but they're usually only kings through family. Some other kings fought great wars to earn their title. But no, not King Dedede. He basically said "Screw it, I don't have to do any of that. If I want to be King, I'll be King." This kind of attitude is just cool beyond comprehension.
He formally joins the brawl. You see that? He
formally joins the brawl. Even during something as chaotic as a brawl, he still remains a gentleman. What a guy.
Mechanizing his wooden mallet, he delivers a mighty, earth-shaking blow. Okay, what's not to like? First off, how many other penguins do you know that have mechanized their wooden mallets? None, I'm sure. Plus, with this mallet, he can deliver an earth-shaking blow. Earth-shaking? EARTH-SHAKING? I've seen some characters shake the ground, and I've seen the screen shake a few times, but now all of us will know when someone is playing as King Dedede because the entire ****ing planet will shake beneath us. God help us all.
Now, I know if you hadn't before, you now recognize King Dedede as the best character in the game. But just to drive the point home even further, let's just look at his majesty in action.
Check this out. Not only does he look as cool as always, but now there's a giant freaking cannon pointed right at him. But does he care? No. Of course not. He's King Dedede. While someone is helplessly planning a way to take down this mighty beast, he's simply thinking of what he wants to have for brunch. Cool. Calm. Collected.
Let me ask you something. Do you consider yourself to be cool? Well, there's a simple test to find out if you're cool or not. Ask yourself, "Do I wield a mallet that's almost as big as I am?" If you answered no to this question, sorry, but you have some work to do. King Dedede, on the other hand, is the real goods.
When King Dedede isn't shaking the entire planet, he likes to be a trend setter! Kirby certainly knows what's up in the world of fashion. Just look how jealous Meta-Knight is! Don't worry Meta-Knight, your mask is kind of alright, I guess.
I'm not even going to go any further with this. This is the best picture ever. Period.
I'm sorry but this is just the coolest pose in the world. Seriously, just look at that! Go find a mirror and try doing it yourself just to see how cool it is. If you're not glowing when you do it, you're not doing it right.
Look at that monster. It's huge! Mario and Samus keep their distance. Captain Olimar tries to make an escape. And King Dedede? He's just chillin'. Monster? Pfft. Big deal. King Dedede just smiles for the camera.
I almost cry every time I see this. Not only is King Dedede a complete pimp, he's also a good person deep down. Watch as he jumps, possibly sacrificing himself, to save the Pikmin from certain doom. Normally, in this game, you want your opponent to lose. But no. Not King Dedede. He's always thinking of the little guys. So inspiring.
King Dedede truly is on top of the world. Not only does he have his own personally-sized boxing ring, it's being carried by his loyal servants! How come we never see Bowser or Ganondorf carried by their servants? Hmmm? That's because their servants aren't truly loyal to them the way King Dedede's are to him. That's dedication.
So as you can see, King Dedede truly is the greatest character in this game, possibly of all time. The roster was complete when he was put in. Other characters, such as Mario and Link, are simply bonus.
