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WCW Starrcade 12/19/99
Amazing, the tape opens with spoilers on the main event and a promo for Souled Out. I mean, granted, by the time people rented the tape, they surely knew the results. But maybe they hadn't or were from an area where they didn't get to see Nitro or something. Those people probably don't want to see the main event spoiled for them.
Disco Inferno/Lash LeRoux vs The Mamalukes
This is a strange angle. Disco has a gambling problem. To make up for his debts, he bet Evan Karagias $25K in their match at Mayhem. He lost. That part wasn't mentioned again. But Tony Mamaluke shows up. He's either Disco's bookie or the son of his bookie/a mafia don. It's not really clearly explained. He has his boys come after Disco, but they're both borderline retarded and can't do anything right. Suddenly, Lash starts helping Disco after multiple weeks of Lash attacking Disco even when Disco beat him clean and put him over. Now they're best bros. Anyway, Disco gets his ass kicked for a while. Do you think Vito was naturally that shiny, or if he put baby oil on his face and head? The faces make a come back. JTB slips doing his run up leg drop. He also missed the leg drop. Disco hit a frog splash! Vito broke the pin with a flying elbow. Disco inadvertently hit the Last Dance on Lash. Vito hit the spinning DDT for the win. Disco is put in a body bag and carried off. Once they took him to the back, they took him out of the bag and threw him in a car trunk.
Brain is wearing sunglasses. He must be loaded. Scott Hall has a knee injury and has forfeited his title to Chris Benoit. What's really shitty is that WCW knew as early as Thunder that Hall wouldn't be competing, but still went ahead and advertised the match. Benoit comes out. He doesn't want to get a title like that. To him, the title is vacant and he issues an open challenge for a title ladder match.
Evan Karagias vs Madusa WCW Cruiserweight Championship
Madusa and Evan broke up. There was no angle or anything. One show, Evan was now with Spice and that was that. They have a nice 3 minute match. Madusa did a powerbomb. Kind of. Spice distracted Evan. Madusa hits him in the back and Spice did one of the worst low blows of all time. Madusa wins with a German suplex. Madusa and Spice leave together. SWERVE! New champion!
TO THE BACK. Gene talks to Norman. Norman ain't scared of mother fucking Meng. He was scared of the producer counting him down and may have shit himself.
Meng vs Norman Smiley WCW Hardcore Championship
Meng is throwing SURGE containers around. They head to the back. Now they're in catering. The fucking red levels back stage looks like Kane's lair or something. Meng no sells a fire extinguisher. Norman dives through a curtain. Knobs and Finlay show up to attack Meng. Another wall of cardboard boxes. Wait a minute, I think these boxes are guitar boxes. That would make SO much sense considering Jeff goes through 8 a show. Finlay knocks Meng out with a pipe. Norman pins Meng with one hand and runs away. Meng puts Nick Patrick in the Tongan Death Grip. Title retained.
TO THE BACK. David Flair gets a gift. It's a gold plated crowbar. Elsewhere, Oklahoma gets Dr. Death pumped up. He left the locker room and was abducted by The Misfits. Elsewhere elsewhere, Tenay tries to get Duggan's mystery partners out of him. It's a mystery for a reason, slap ass.
The Revolution vs Jim Duggan/The Varsity Club
That's right. The Varsity Club. Kevin Sullivan, Mike Rotunda, and Rick Steiner. A stable last seen 10 years ago. Nothing sadder than 40 year olds (50 for Sullivan) still dressing in letterman jackets. Sullivan looks like he's not even wearing pants. His legs are still jacked, though. Duggan wrestled the whole match by himself. Tree of Keanu to Asya! Then the Club turns on Duggan. SWERVE! Shane Douglas gets in the ring and pins Duggan. Duggan will now have to renounce his citizenship tomorrow on Nitro. Not even 5 minutes for an 8 person tag.
TO THE BACK. Gene talks with The Misfits. Oklahoma is in the shark cage WCW has at all times.
Dr. Death vs Vampiro
If Vamp wins, he gets 5 minutes with OK. Vamp jumps off the shark cage. OK is still doing commentary. Doc hit some gnarly chops. Huge belly to belly superplex that saw Doc nearly drop Vamp right at the start of. Doc knocks the shit out of the Misfits. Despite all of them getting involved, the ref doesn't call for the bell. He calls for the bell when Dr. Death shoves the ref. That means Vampiro gets 5 minutes with Oklahoma!
Vampiro vs Oklahoma
Security escorted Dr. Death out. The 5 minutes started well before OK was let out of the cage. DDT from Oklahoma! Oklahoma stomp! Oklahoma hit a few low blows when Vamp got back into it. Rock Bottom! The Misfits get in the ring and attack OK. I guess this is no DQ. Vamp wins with the Nail in the Coffin. I think The Misfits try even harder than ICP.
TO THE POWERS THAT BE. Hennig asks Russo for advice on their match. Russo was distracted because something big is happening tonight.
TO THE BACK. Tenay tries to stir the shit between Harlem Heat and Midnight. Stevie doesn't like that fruit booty squacking YAK. Stevie won't watch Booker's back tonight.
Creative Control/Curt Hennig vs Harlem Heat/Midnight
The winning team will get a tag title shot. Fans are booing the shit out of something. Nothing was going on in the ring, but the fans booed for 2 minutes straight. Stevie didn't participate in the match. It sucked. Of course. At least Perfect didn't sexually assault Midnight again. Booker was pinned after cheating shenanigans. The Harris Brothers look like the Engineer from Prometheus.
TO THE BACK. Tenay talks with Dustin Rhodes. Jeff attacks and I guess the match has started.
Dustin Rhodes vs Jeff Jarrett Bunkhouse Brawl
Body slam into a wheel barrow. We get to the ring. Dustin uses a stick or something. Cow bells! Dustin throws some coke in Jeff's face. He then whips Jeff and ties the ref up in the corner. Jeff hits a low blow. Curt Hennig comes out. He lets the ref loose while Jeff is using a stick of some kind. Sleeper. Dustin hits a Boss Man Slam. Hennig breaks up the pin. Shattered Dreams. Hennig pulls the ref out of the ring. He also got his dreams shattered. Jeff wins with a guitar shot from half way up a ladder.
TO THE BACK. David plays with his new crowbar. Elsewhere, Gene talks to DDP. DDP still does the Triad gimmick stuff, but the Triad isn't a thing any more.
DDP vs David Flair Crowbar On A Pole Match
David comes out of the crowd and hits DDP in the ribs with the crowbar while DDP is in the corner. The ref says DDP can't continue and David will win via forfeit. DDP throws Penzer and gets in the ring. They have an actual match which Davd actually dominates for the first few minutes. Figure four! This isn't the kind of pole match where the rules are basically the same as a ladder match. This is the kind where the first person to get the crowbar can use it. David got it, but then turned right into a Kanyon Cutter. BANG! DDP wins. Avalanche Kanyon Cutter. BANG! DDP was about to hit David with the crowbar when a fan ran in and covered his body. It was Daffney Unger, who sent in a tape a few weeks ago saying she wanted to host a Nitro Party and that she was a big fan of David.
The Total Package vs Sting
Liz's contract with Lex will be voided if Sting wins. As Sting and Liz headed to the ring, Sting had her switch out pepper spray cans. They have a short match. Sting and Liz ping ponged Lex. Then Liz got in the ring to check on Lex. She tried to pepper spray Sting, but it was just silly string. SWERVE! I think this is the first time Sting actually outsmarted the heel trying to SWERVE him. Sting put Lex in the Death Lock. Liz came back out with a bat. Sting let it go. When he put the hold back on, Liz hit him in the face with the bat, causing a DQ. After the match, Sting's arm was Pillmanized.
Sid vs Kevin Nash Powerbomb Match
Nash immediately dominates Sid. Lariatooo. Nash low blows out of a powerbomb. Nash tries one on the outside. Sid's back is bleeding. Body slam from Sid. Ref bump. Sid does a powerbomb about as good as Madusa's. Jeff Jarrett comes out and hits Sid with a guitar. He cleans up the mess. Nash tells the ref that he hit the powerbomb and is declared the winner. Nash actually thought about doing the move, but his back hurt, so he just told the ref he did it instead. I can't believe that Sid wasn't allowed to get anything over on Nash for this entire feud. Not a single time has it not ended with Nash either physically dominating Sid or out smarting him.
TO THE BACK. Tenay talks to Benoit who is heading to the ring for his mystery ladder match.
Jeff Jarrett vs Chris Benoit WCW US Championship Ladder Match
Jeff is the one to accept the challenge. Superplex. Benoit gets the ladder. Jeff baseball slides it into him. Benoit's face is all busted open already. They trade Irish whips into the ladder. Jeff then crotches Benoit and does a Russian leg sweep from the top with Benoit's leg in the ladder. Benoit puts Jarrett in a tree of Keanu on the ladder. Jeff tips it over. Benoit's head went straight into the bottom rope. They brawl at the top of the ladder. Benoit falls, but then dumps Jeff off. Jeff responds by pushing the ladder over while Benoit is on it. Benoit does the same thing, with Jeff going balls first onto the top rope. As Benoit touches the belt, Jeff missile drop kicks the ladder, sending Benoit flying. He's taken so many big bumps from ladders and cages in the past 3 months. Benoit has his hand on the belt and does a diving headbutt instead. Benoit grabs the title. Title retained.
TO THE BACK. Bret tells Tenay that he's walking out as champion.
Bret Hart vs Goldberg WCW Championship No Disqualification
Bret comes out first, which is unacceptable for the champion to come out first in the main event of the biggest show of the year. Bret out wrestles Goldberg. A stiff shoulder block sends Bret down. Press slam to powerslam. 2 short arm lariatooos. Rolling knee bar from Goldberg is countered into the Sharpshooter. Goldberg shoves it off. Bret is limping. He seemed to hurt himself on the press slam. Maybe it's another groin pull the likes of which you've never seen. Ref bump on the floor. A new one was out immediately. Big boot. Another ref bump. Bret dodges the spear in the corner and does the figure four around the ring post. I think Bret gave himself a concussion applying the move. He immediately grabbed his head once he let go and looked to be in quite a bit of pain. He also might have hurt his lower back. Figure four. Another ref bump. Goldberg does the kick that basically ended Bret's career. It didn't actually look that bad. Spear. There is no ref to count since 3 have been bumped. A very somber Roddy Piper comes out. Bret applies the Sharpshooter and Piper RINGS THE FUCKING BELL. Piper walks off with the title. Bret follows him out. Piper gives Bret the title near the entrance. To drive the point home, Hudson yells out "IT'S JUST LIKE MONTREAL ALL OVER AGAIN!". Title retained.
DQ Count: 2 out of 13 matches.
The final PPV of this project. Benoit/Jarrett was definitely the match of the night. As for Goldberg injuring Bret, I think Bret was concussed well before the kick, but the kick just compounded the injury. I also think he probably had another groin pull from a slam and appeared to have injured his lower back at the same time as his head while applying the ring post figure four. It was just a bad night for Bret in general. We got another Montreal knock off. It almost seems fitting that Bret would get a myriad of injuries in his only PPV WCW Championship defense. It just makes sense considering the rest of his WCW run. Scott Hall came back from an injury after nearly 8 months only to get injured about a month and a half later. He'd return to action shortly after, then get injured again in February, and was released before he could return to the ring. Despite this, his match with Benoit was still advertised even though WCW knew he wouldn't be working the show.
In general, it was a typical cluster fuck of a WCW PPV. Madusa wins the Cruiserweight title after Spice SWERVES Evan. I assume Spice/Madusa set the SWERVE up from the start, but I'm sure it won't be explained. Duggan brings back the Varsity Club. They SWERVE him. Liz SWERVES Sting, but Sting was actually SWERVING her. She still cost him the match. Roddy Piper came out and redid the Screwjob finish, but he was sad when he did it, so it wasn't really a SWERVE. Maybe. Kevin Nash won a powerbomb match by telling the ref he did a powerbomb. Benoit continues to destroy his body with huge bumps even though he knows he's trying to get out of his contract.
