If we can't discuss these issues among ourselves using the "real" words because it might upset conservatives, then all we're doing is self-censoring and normalizing the status quo. And science isn't about removing your emotions or biases from your work, it's about being open about being wrong and letting your peers review your findings; you don't say stuff to find people who agree with you, you say stuff to challenge or be challenged on your conclusions. A ton of real progress has been made on social issues by people having honest and direct discourse, it doesn't make all of that irrelevant just because ignorant people still exist. I believe you're mischaracterizing the process of discourse.
And in any case, it's broadly not helpful to minorities to talk about empathy and then in turn say that it's not effective for them to advocate, even if you really mean it. White people have a history of saying they support racial equality and then being unwilling to do anything towards that goal, or saying they want to support social justice but only up to the point where it stops making them feel good about their personal moral stand. If you act like you'll only support them if you feel like you're getting credit ("I'm not racist, I voted for Obama!"), then there's no way they'll ever believe you truly empathize with their struggles.
Nobody is saying you don't mean well, really. They're just saying that what you're trying to do can be very hurtful, because it's what "allies" always do to de-legitimize strategies that are actually pretty effective since it forces them to actually stand up for the ideals they support.
I've never asked for word policing. I never do. What I did ask is for more effort and sanity to be used when the left addresses fellow lefties on many occasions. When the emotions get the better of some they just come back with "fuck you, fuck this, you're an X". As I said I can empathise with emotion but this blunderbuss approach is becoming more prevalent on the left and is alienating fellow liberals.
You and I have just had an exchange where we are sharing different viewpoints on this, without getting catty at each other. At times it's often challenging to do that around the difficult topics we can't ignore.
All I know is what I learned in social psychology (just 1 course though, could be wrong) which the professor presented to us the latest research on prejudice and racism, so while it may not be indisputable or consensus, it's what we've got, as far as I know.
There is a difference between a discussion on what is the effective way to combat human prejudice and a discussion on whose responsibility it is to do so.
I agree that I think these tactics are most successful coming from the privileged instead of the oppressed. As a light-skinned Latino without any Latino accent, I take it upon myself to defend Hispanics who are discriminated. But I would never tell it's an oppressed class' responsibility to perform these tactics. That's in a complete opposite direction of my assertion.
I don't think it's any particular person's job to combat or not combat prejudice. The truth is that humans behave this way and it's a human problem. Believe it or not, everyone has ingrained prejudices (slight or severe, it's an evolutionary remnant of our past when we had to make quick judgments on foes based on appearance) and what I described is what research says is the most effective way to combat even the most entrenched prejudices. So if you want to decrease prejudice, that is how to do it. But you don't have to.
Well ultimately as I said the responsibility is always up to the oppressor. If your government has the ability to get involved it can. Outside of that anyone putting in any effort is doing so on their own time, sanity and health. Which is why I never have a problem with many responses on GAF which are zero tolerance, fuck them. My 2 cents comes in when that extends to people getting pissy others don't necessarily share the same outlook or solution as they do. Which plays into me railing on the left and this almost authoritarian like movement seeping in where you almost have to do things the way you are told or it's at your own peril.
I would be most awful in my field of work if my response to every client was "fuck you, you sort it out yourself you piece of shit". I accept this is my choice to think the way I do, but I'll say it again I don't argue for people to think like I do, I argue for some sort of respect for me and others to approach complex human problems in a variety of ways without being looked down on. I can still condone all the heinous shit people do while trying various ways of my own to openly discuss it and hopefully tackle it. If at the end of the day I ultimately fail to do much to tackle something, I at least want an open discussion in a pursuit of truth and results, not crucified alive for not conforming to someones way of thinking who sees themselves as superior to me in some way.
To me that is part of what it means to be liberal, and of course, open minded. Not to say I know best or I'm right, but here are my thoughts, can they be improved/challenged or expanded?