So the first week of the 2014 college football season is in the books. What did we learn? Well, that pretty much everyone sucks except for the Idaho Vandals who shut out the Florida Gatas in the Swamp. Also exempt from being exposed this week was the UCF Fighting Knightronauts, who nevertheless exercised poor judgment by stepping into the showers while Penn State was lurking around the corner.
Oh, and Notre Dame is a shoe-in for the playoffs with an impressive win over Rice under their belts. Let's all stand up and politely clap for Notre Dame.
Here's a rundown on how the AP's Top 25 fared:
1 Florida State - Negatives: struggled against an Oklahoma State team that lost to a pitiful West Virginia team last year. Positives: Winston managed not to get arrested this week. So there's that.
2 Alabama - Negatives: No QB yet. Soft defense. Players keep getting suspended. Bradley Sylve. Positives: beat an upcoming West Virginia team who, despite struggling at times last year, beat Oklahoma State.
3 Oregon - Played (and beat) South Dakota. That wasn't the name of a university. They literally beat every able-bodied person within the entire State of South Dakota.
4 Oklahoma - Beat La Tech. Whoopdie-fucking-do.
5 Ohio State - Negatives: struggled to beat Navy. Positives: beat Navy.
6 Auburn - Negatives: Founded in 1856. Positives:
7 UCLA - the PAC12 saviors struggled to beat Virginia. Yes, that Virginia.
8 Michigan State - Positives: beat Jacksonville State. Negatives: they beat a team of this: http://s3.amazonaws.com/br-cdn/temp_images/2014/08/30/b57ff09f43dd3d80ce4648a0bb348f33.gif
9 South Carolina - Loss to TAMU. Negatives: Spurrier has less time to work on his golf game. Positives: Somebody had to be the first top ten team to lose, so kudos to SCAR for fulfilling this vital role.
10 Baylor - beat SMU. No word on whether or not tarps were deployed in the stadium.
11 Stanford - Negatives: only played UC Davis. Positive: played Stanford football, and remained undefeated while doing so.
12 Georgia - Positives: beat Clempson without Clempsoning. Negatives: douche overlord Richt tried to run the score up against Clempson with time winding down.
13 LSU - Negatives: lost the first half of the game. 2014 Heisman front-runner Leonard Fournette turned in a sub-par performance. Positives: eventually won. But it was a B1G team, so congrats for doing what you should have done anyway?
14 Wisconsin - See 13 LSU.
15 USC - Positives: won without heroic star DB, David Shaw. Negatives: Overseer Sarkisian is doing what the South never could, and spreading slavery to California.
16 Clemson - Clempsoned.
17 Notre Dame - beat 2013 defending National Champion, Rice.
18 Ole Miss - Positives: didn't lose to Boise. Negatives: Bro Wallace is still the QB.
19 Arizona State - Positives: beat Weber State. Negatives: gave up 14 points to Weber State.
20 Kansas State - Positives: Beat Stephen F. Austin. Negatives: gave up 16 points to Stephen F. Austin.
21 Texas A&M - I will cut the next motherfucker who says Kenny Football.
22 Nebraska - Positives: softened up FAU for Alabama. Apparently had a pretty sweet catch. Negatives: corn.
23 North Carolina - Positives: beat the Liberty Flames. Negatives: gave up 29 points to the Liberty Flames. Seriously, tar heels? 29 points to Liberty?
24 Missouri - beat South Dakota State. South Dakota has enough of a population to field two football teams? Who knew?
25 Washington - did they play? If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody hears it, does it make a sound?
Knightro's Drive to the National Championship
Knightro will return next week. It's one of UCF's apparent 5 Bye Weeks. Seriously, how do these people expect to get into a Power 5 conference if they're already tired and need a nap?
AP Poll.
Coach's Poll
Notable Games
Saturday
3:30 PM No. 15 USC at No. 11 Stanford
6:30 PM No. 8 Michigan State at No. 3 Oregon
7:30 PM Michigan at No. 17 Notre Dame
That's literally it. Fuck this week. Let's hope for upsets so we can have a little bit of excitement!
TTK Presents: GAF Pick'em Week 2 Games
(all games Saturday unless otherwise marked)
(FRI) Pittsburgh @ Boston College by X
Kansas State @ Iowa State by X
Central Michigan @ Purdue by X
Navy @ Temple by X
Fresno State @ Utah by X
USC @ Stanford by X
Maryland @ South Florida by X
Michigan State @ Oregon by X
Michigan @ Notre Dame by X
BYU @ Texas by X
Virginia Tech @ Ohio State by X
Colorado State @ Boise State by X[/QUOTE]
Oh, and Notre Dame is a shoe-in for the playoffs with an impressive win over Rice under their belts. Let's all stand up and politely clap for Notre Dame.
Here's a rundown on how the AP's Top 25 fared:
1 Florida State - Negatives: struggled against an Oklahoma State team that lost to a pitiful West Virginia team last year. Positives: Winston managed not to get arrested this week. So there's that.
2 Alabama - Negatives: No QB yet. Soft defense. Players keep getting suspended. Bradley Sylve. Positives: beat an upcoming West Virginia team who, despite struggling at times last year, beat Oklahoma State.
3 Oregon - Played (and beat) South Dakota. That wasn't the name of a university. They literally beat every able-bodied person within the entire State of South Dakota.
4 Oklahoma - Beat La Tech. Whoopdie-fucking-do.
5 Ohio State - Negatives: struggled to beat Navy. Positives: beat Navy.
6 Auburn - Negatives: Founded in 1856. Positives:
7 UCLA - the PAC12 saviors struggled to beat Virginia. Yes, that Virginia.
8 Michigan State - Positives: beat Jacksonville State. Negatives: they beat a team of this: http://s3.amazonaws.com/br-cdn/temp_images/2014/08/30/b57ff09f43dd3d80ce4648a0bb348f33.gif
9 South Carolina - Loss to TAMU. Negatives: Spurrier has less time to work on his golf game. Positives: Somebody had to be the first top ten team to lose, so kudos to SCAR for fulfilling this vital role.
10 Baylor - beat SMU. No word on whether or not tarps were deployed in the stadium.
11 Stanford - Negatives: only played UC Davis. Positive: played Stanford football, and remained undefeated while doing so.
12 Georgia - Positives: beat Clempson without Clempsoning. Negatives: douche overlord Richt tried to run the score up against Clempson with time winding down.
13 LSU - Negatives: lost the first half of the game. 2014 Heisman front-runner Leonard Fournette turned in a sub-par performance. Positives: eventually won. But it was a B1G team, so congrats for doing what you should have done anyway?
14 Wisconsin - See 13 LSU.
15 USC - Positives: won without heroic star DB, David Shaw. Negatives: Overseer Sarkisian is doing what the South never could, and spreading slavery to California.
16 Clemson - Clempsoned.
17 Notre Dame - beat 2013 defending National Champion, Rice.
18 Ole Miss - Positives: didn't lose to Boise. Negatives: Bro Wallace is still the QB.
19 Arizona State - Positives: beat Weber State. Negatives: gave up 14 points to Weber State.
20 Kansas State - Positives: Beat Stephen F. Austin. Negatives: gave up 16 points to Stephen F. Austin.
21 Texas A&M - I will cut the next motherfucker who says Kenny Football.
22 Nebraska - Positives: softened up FAU for Alabama. Apparently had a pretty sweet catch. Negatives: corn.
23 North Carolina - Positives: beat the Liberty Flames. Negatives: gave up 29 points to the Liberty Flames. Seriously, tar heels? 29 points to Liberty?
24 Missouri - beat South Dakota State. South Dakota has enough of a population to field two football teams? Who knew?
25 Washington - did they play? If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody hears it, does it make a sound?
Knightro's Drive to the National Championship
Knightro will return next week. It's one of UCF's apparent 5 Bye Weeks. Seriously, how do these people expect to get into a Power 5 conference if they're already tired and need a nap?
AP Poll.
Coach's Poll
Notable Games
Saturday
3:30 PM No. 15 USC at No. 11 Stanford
6:30 PM No. 8 Michigan State at No. 3 Oregon
7:30 PM Michigan at No. 17 Notre Dame
That's literally it. Fuck this week. Let's hope for upsets so we can have a little bit of excitement!
TTK Presents: GAF Pick'em Week 2 Games
(all games Saturday unless otherwise marked)
(FRI) Pittsburgh @ Boston College by X
Kansas State @ Iowa State by X
Central Michigan @ Purdue by X
Navy @ Temple by X
Fresno State @ Utah by X
USC @ Stanford by X
Maryland @ South Florida by X
Michigan State @ Oregon by X
Michigan @ Notre Dame by X
BYU @ Texas by X
Virginia Tech @ Ohio State by X
Colorado State @ Boise State by X[/QUOTE]
